{"id":59673,"date":"2021-02-20T13:18:57","date_gmt":"2021-02-20T11:18:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tautastribunals.eu\/?p=59673"},"modified":"2021-02-20T15:40:52","modified_gmt":"2021-02-20T13:40:52","slug":"helena-celmina-ka-plika-pa-natram","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tautastribunals.eu\/?p=59673","title":{"rendered":"Hel\u0113na Celmi\u0146a. K\u0101 plika pa n\u0101tr\u0101m"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Ja kaut tikai ieskat\u012bjies \u0161ais Hel\u0113nas Celmi\u0146as ATMI\u0145\u0100S, <\/strong>tu nekad vairs bez riebuma un pret\u012bguma nevar\u0113si skat\u012bties \u0161ajos komunistu purnos ! \u0160is riebums b\u016bs tavu Dv\u0113seli <\/strong>p\u0101r\u0146\u0113mis pat l\u012bdz T\u0101s vist\u0101l\u0101kaj\u0101m un noslept\u0101kaj\u0101m viet\u0101m !<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lai nol\u0101d\u0113ti visi tie, <\/strong>kuri st\u0101ju\u0161ies m\u016bsu tautas slepkavu(KOMUNISTU)<\/strong> partij\u0101, kalpoju\u0161i \u010dekai <\/strong>un zi\u0146oju\u0161i <\/strong>par l\u012bdzcilv\u0113kiem ! \u0160iem s\u0101taniskajiem izdzimumiem vieta neatrad\u012bsies nedz Ell\u0113, <\/strong>nedz Debes\u012bs<\/strong> ! Vi\u0146i puspuvu\u0161i l\u016bgsies N\u0100VI<\/strong>, bet T\u0101 <\/strong>no vi\u0146iem muks ! Tas viss attiec\u0101s ar\u012b uz tiem, kuri \u0161odien izlaup\u012bju\u0161i m\u016bsu T\u0113vzemi- \u0146\u0113mu\u0161i to, ko nav ar savu darbu nopeln\u012bju\u0161i<\/strong> !<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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20.02.2021 Linards Granti\u0146\u0161 LRTT & H- 86<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\/ Language: Latvia<\/a><\/strong> \/ Genre:nonf_biography<\/a><\/strong><\/small><\/p>\n\n\n\n

K\u0101 plika pa n\u0101tr\u0101m<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

Hel\u0113na Celmi\u0146a<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

IEVADAM<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Var\u0113tu teikt, ka esmu piedzimusi aiz p\u0101rskat\u012b\u0161an\u0101s. Nepl\u0101nota, negaid\u012bta, nevienam nevajadz\u012bga – jau kop\u0161 pa\u0161as dzim\u0161anas jutos ja ne glu\u017ei neatkar\u012bga, tad vismaz piln\u012bgi patst\u0101v\u012bga. Un to var apstiprin\u0101t visi, kas mani toreiz pazina.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sav\u0101 patst\u0101v\u012bb\u0101 aizg\u0101ju tik t\u0101lu, ka asto\u0146u gadu vecum\u0101 liku atsl\u0113dzniekam izgatavot m\u0101jas un v\u0101rtu atsl\u0113gas, lai, neviena netrauc\u0113ta, var\u0113tu iet un n\u0101kt, k\u0101 man pat\u012bk. Un savu patst\u0101v\u012bbu un neatkar\u012bbu esmu centusies saglab\u0101t visu m\u016b\u017eu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

LIEP\u0100JAS ATMI\u0145AS<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

1935. gada Lieldienu r\u012bt\u0101 mani izlaida uz ielas, sa\u0123\u0113rbtu jaun\u0101, sarkan\u0101 samta m\u0113tel\u012bt\u012b ar sudraba pog\u0101m un ar t\u0101du pa\u0161u sarkanu daudzst\u016brainu bereti galv\u0101. \u016adenspe\u013c\u0137es bija p\u0101rvilku\u0161\u0101s ar \u0161\u0137autnainiem ledusrakstiem, tos es sasp\u0101rd\u012bju ar jaunaj\u0101m lak\u0101das kurp\u012bt\u0113m. Biju saj\u016bsm\u0101 par ko\u0161i sarkano m\u0113teli un cepuri, jo cit\u0101m meiten\u0113m kaut ko t\u0101du v\u0113l nebiju redz\u0113jusi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tas bija \u013coti sen, man toreiz bija se\u0161i gadi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Desmit gadus v\u0113l\u0101k no r\u012bta, ejot uz skolu, iev\u0113roju, ka gar Ro\u017eu laukumu gar\u0101s k\u0101rt\u012bs v\u0113jo daudz sarkanu karogu. Tas bija 1945. g. 5. novembris. Un taj\u0101 r\u012bt\u0101 man p\u0113k\u0161\u0146i sarkan\u0101 kr\u0101sa vairs nepatika. V\u0113l vair\u0101k, t\u0101 mani uzbudin\u0101ja, un man rad\u0101s v\u0113l\u0113\u0161an\u0101s raut visus karogus, turpat sakurt lielu ugunskuru un izn\u012bcin\u0101t karogus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Visu dienu skol\u0101 manas domas kav\u0113j\u0101s pie Ro\u017eu laukuma un karogiem. P\u0101r\u0101k daudz darba, viena netik\u0161u gal\u0101, bet vismaz k\u0101di desmit b\u016btu j\u0101nopl\u0113\u0161, m\u0101j\u0101s j\u0101nokr\u0101so tum\u0161i sarkan\u0101 kr\u0101s\u0101, j\u0101sagrie\u017e maz\u0101kos gabalos, j\u0101ie\u0161uj balta dr\u0113be vid\u016b, l\u012bdz 17. novembrim laika diezgan un nakt\u012b no 17. uz 18. novembri j\u0101izdai\u013co visa pils\u0113ta.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

K\u0101di divi b\u016btu j\u0101piestiprina ar\u012b pie Liep\u0101jas – R\u012bgas vilciena lokomot\u012bves. Dom\u0101s t\u012bksmin\u0101jos; cik tas b\u016btu jauki, un reiz\u0113 sajutu pakr\u016bt\u0113 l\u012bdz tam br\u012bdim v\u0113l nepaz\u012btu k\u0146ud\u0113\u0161anu, laikam tas bija man\u0101 m\u016b\u017e\u0101 pirmais uztraukums. Nol\u0113mu risk\u0113t. Sapratu, ka tik lielu saini viena nevar\u0113\u0161u panest, t\u0101d\u0113\u013c par saviem nodomiem past\u0101st\u012bju skolas biedrenei Veltai un pajaut\u0101ju, vai vi\u0146a neb\u016btu ar mieru man pal\u012bdz\u0113t. Biju sav\u0101 ka\u0137a m\u016b\u017e\u0101 izlas\u012bjusi da\u017eus detekt\u012bvrom\u0101nus un nol\u0113mu pa\u0146emt l\u012bdzi maz\u0101 z\u0101\u013cu pudel\u012bt\u0113 petroleju – gad\u012bjum\u0101, ja milicija sadom\u0101tu ar su\u0146iem dz\u012bt p\u0113das.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ar Veltu vienoj\u0101mies tikties \u010detros no r\u012bta – tad cilv\u0113kiem viscie\u0161\u0101kais miegs un tik agri v\u0113l neviens uz darbu neiet. Ar\u012b Velta tad var\u0113tu viegl\u0101k izlav\u012bties no m\u0101j\u0101m.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Man bija viegl\u0101k: vecm\u0101mi\u0146a gul\u0113ja sav\u0101 gu\u013camistab\u0101, vid\u016b \u0113damistaba, un no liel\u0101s istabas, kur\u0101 es gul\u0113ju, var\u0113ja iziet pa par\u0101des durv\u012bm jebkur\u0101 nakts laik\u0101.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

K\u0101 norun\u0101ts, m\u0113s satik\u0101mies pie Ugunsdz\u0113s\u0113ju laukuma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Laika apst\u0101k\u013ci piem\u0113roti: miglains, dr\u0113gns r\u012bts, tumsa. Net\u0101lu no pirm\u0101 karoga atrad\u0101s cinkota ble\u0137a atkritumu tvertne ar v\u0101ku. Pievilk\u0101m tvertni pie karoga, es uzk\u0101pu uz tvertnes un tad, knapi aizsniegdama karoga st\u016bri, raust\u012bju to \u0161urpu turpu Dr\u0113be bija stingri pienaglota. Sagr\u0101bu st\u016bri, stingr\u0101k sauj\u0101 un l\u0113cu no tvertnes lej\u0101. Tad gan pl\u012bsa, skrandas vien palika pie k\u0101rts. T\u0101d\u0101 veid\u0101 p\u0101rmai\u0146us nor\u0101v\u0101m v\u0113l piecus. Tad saprat\u0101m, ka vair\u0101k aiznest nevaram, karogi bija p\u0101r\u0101k lieli un mitri, un zem m\u0113te\u013ciem vair\u0101k par trim pasl\u0113pt nebija iesp\u0113jams. Aptinu\u0161\u0101s ar karogiem ap viduci, izskat\u012bj\u0101mies resnas k\u0101 Burbu\u013cm\u0101tes. Pasm\u0113ju\u0161\u0101s par sevi, met\u0101mies skriet. Pie k\u0101diem v\u0101rtiem apst\u0101j\u0101mies, apsm\u0113r\u0113j\u0101m zoles ar petroleju un turpin\u0101j\u0101m ce\u013cu pusskrie\u0161us l\u012bdz J\u016brmalas k\u0101p\u0101m, jo uz m\u0101j\u0101m nest t\u0101du mantu neb\u016btu pr\u0101ta darbs. K\u0101p\u0101s es jau agr\u0101k biju noskat\u012bjusi t\u0101das k\u0101 alas, kur cilv\u0113ki bija smiltis \u0146\u0113mu\u0161i, ar ko ziem\u0101 ielas kais\u012bt. Div\u0101s al\u0101s sast\u016bm\u0101m karogus, virs\u016b uzraus\u0101m smiltis. Visu padar\u012bju\u0161as, steidz\u0101mies uz m\u0101j\u0101m, bija tak v\u0113l j\u0101nosnau\u017eas. P\u0113c izskraid\u012b\u0161an\u0101s v\u0113saj\u0101 r\u012bt\u0101 iegrim\u0101m vesel\u012bg\u0101 mieg\u0101.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

T\u0101l\u0101kos darbus es uz\u0146\u0113mos viena pati, jo mani m\u0101jas apst\u0101k\u013ci tam bija vispiem\u0113rot\u0101kie. Dz\u012bvoj\u0101m divat\u0101 ar vecm\u0101mi\u0146u, katrai savas \u0101rdurvis. Vecm\u0101mi\u0146a g\u0101ja pa s\u0113tas pusi, es pa ielas pusi. Zin\u0101ju, kur st\u0101v lielais dr\u0113bju kr\u0101sojamais katls, bet k\u0101jminam\u0101 Singer \u0161ujma\u0161\u012bna st\u0101v\u0113ja man\u0101 istab\u0101, apkl\u0101ta ar ri\u0161elj\u0113 p\u0101rkl\u0101ju. Man gan nebija at\u013cauts \u0161ujma\u0161\u012bnu aiztikt, bija j\u0101gaida, kad izaug\u0161ot liela, bet es jau sen biju liela un \u0161ujma\u0161\u012bnu biju izstud\u0113jusi pamat\u012bgi. Katr\u0101 zi\u0146\u0101 visas pieskr\u016bv\u0113jam\u0101s \u201cp\u0113di\u0146as\u201d izpratu lab\u0101k nek\u0101 vecm\u0101mi\u0146a pati.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Da\u017ereiz vecm\u0101mi\u0146a g\u0101ja apciemot m\u0101sas un draudzenes, tad man stund\u0101m bija laiks dar\u012bt to, kas nav at\u013cauts – \u0161\u016bt, las\u012bt \u017euliku rom\u0101nus un gr\u0101matas par okultisk\u0101m par\u0101d\u012bb\u0101m.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Toreiz gan mani pl\u0101ni neizdev\u0101s. Varb\u016bt tas bija likte\u0146a pirksts, kas mani, asu piedz\u012bvojumu mekl\u0113t\u0101ju, pasarg\u0101ja no briesm\u0101m, k\u0101d\u0101s var\u0113ju iekulties, izdai\u013cojot pils\u0113tu ar nacion\u0101liem karodzi\u0146iem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vec\u0101m\u0101te taj\u0101s dien\u0101s slikti jut\u0101s un nekur negrib\u0113ja iet, nel\u012bdz\u0113ja mani padomi, ka b\u016btu j\u0101apciemo Garoztante vai Guste. Viss velt\u012bgi, nek\u0101da darb\u012bba nebija iesp\u0113jama.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

K\u0101du m\u0113nesi v\u0113l\u0101k iemin\u0113jos, ka, staig\u0101jot pa j\u016brmalas k\u0101p\u0101m, paman\u012bju k\u0101d\u0101 bedr\u0113 sarkanu dr\u0113bi, varb\u016bt to var\u0113tu p\u0101rkr\u0101sot un izmantot. M\u0101j\u0101s atrad\u0101s tum\u0161i zila dr\u0113bju kr\u0101sa. Vecm\u0101mi\u0146a gabalus nokr\u0101soja, un tur izn\u0101ca vair\u0101kas vingro\u0161anas bikses\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0100RZEMNIEKI<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

1945. gada decembra beig\u0101s n\u0101cu no skolas un sad\u016bros ar trim v\u012brie\u0161iem. Divi kaut ko vaic\u0101ja, tre\u0161ais laikam neko nesaprata un dusm\u012bgs steidz\u0101s prom. Es gan sapratu, ko tie divi jaut\u0101ja, vi\u0146i run\u0101ja angliski. Mirkli padom\u0101ju, k\u0101 r\u012bkoties, tad nol\u0113mu izdibin\u0101t, kas tie t\u0101di. Bet varb\u016bt spiegi? N\u0113, nu nevar b\u016bt, gai\u0161\u0101 dienas laik\u0101, pils\u0113tas centr\u0101. Kam\u0113r st\u0101vu un pr\u0101toju, viens n\u0101k man kl\u0101t un jaut\u0101, vai es nezinot, kur p\u0101rdod vodku. Es vispirms grib\u0113ju zin\u0101t, kas vi\u0146i t\u0101di un no kurienes. Nu vi\u0146i priec\u012bgi, ka atradu\u0161i k\u0101du, kas vi\u0146us saprot, un labpr\u0101t past\u0101st\u012bja, ka vi\u0146i ir somi, kuru ku\u0123is st\u0101v Ziemas ost\u0101. Vi\u0146i mekl\u0113jot vodku. Es teicu, ka vodku p\u0101rdod ,visur, bet tikai uz karti\u0146\u0101m un pieaugu\u0161iem, lai nedom\u0101, ka es var\u0113tu to nopirkt. Vi\u0146iem esot cukurs, daudz cukura, un vi\u0146i gribot main\u012bt. Nu es vi\u0146us var\u0113ju iepriecin\u0101t, sac\u012bdama, ka mums m\u0101j\u0101s ir vair\u0101kas pudeles, neviens nedzer un labpr\u0101t main\u012bs. Taj\u0101 laik\u0101 mamma ar\u012b bija pie mums. Es j\u016brniekiem ieteicu iet pa ielas vienu pusi, es ie\u0161u pa otru, un, kad do\u0161u z\u012bmi n\u0101kt m\u0101j\u0101, – tad lai n\u0101k. M\u0101j\u0101s \u0101tri past\u0101st\u012bju, k\u0101di viesi \u0101r\u0101 st\u0101v, – ka vi\u0146iem ir cukurs, ko iemain\u012bt pret \u0161\u0146abi. Atv\u0113ru par\u0101des durvis, uz ielas neviena cita neredz\u0113ju, pam\u0101ju, lai n\u0101k. Mai\u0146a mums bija \u013coti izdev\u012bga, laikam vi\u0146iem ar\u012b. Sa\u0146\u0113mu\u0161i tr\u012bs pudeles, j\u016brnieki pal\u016bdza at\u013cauju vienu atv\u0113rt m\u016bsu m\u0101j\u0101. Mums nebija iebildumu, uzlik\u0101m gl\u012btas, sl\u012bp\u0113ta krist\u0101la gl\u0101z\u012btes, un pat nelielus uzko\u017eamos m\u0101te sar\u016bp\u0113ja. Vi\u0146i mums ar\u012b pied\u0101v\u0101ja, bet m\u0113s dzert atteic\u0101mies. Vi\u0146iem bija ac\u012bm redzams prieks m\u016bsu m\u0101j\u0101 viesoties. Es biju galven\u0101 persona, jo visu laiku tulkoju. M\u0101te mazdrusci\u0146 angliski run\u0101ja, bet vec\u0101m\u0101te, iz\u0146emot v\u0101cu, krievu, po\u013cu, nek\u0101 vair\u0101k no valod\u0101m nesaprata.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Atceros, ku\u0123i sauca Parma, un galvenais run\u0101t\u0101js bija ku\u0123a telegr\u0101fists Veikko Sutinens.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Atvadoties somi pal\u016bdza at\u013cauju v\u0113lreiz atnest cukuru varb\u016bt Ziemassv\u0113tku vakar\u0101, ja mums neb\u016btu citu viesu. Nek\u0101dus viesus negaid\u012bj\u0101m, un m\u0101te at\u013c\u0101va. No savas puses piekodin\u0101ju, lai labi iegaum\u0113 ce\u013cu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ziemassv\u0113tki bija p\u0113c div\u0101m dien\u0101m. Kaimi\u0146\u0161 atveda mums egl\u012bti no laukiem. Ap se\u0161iem vakar\u0101 ne vairs divi, bet tr\u012bs somi bija kl\u0101t, apkr\u0101vu\u0161ies k\u0101 \u012bstie Ziemassv\u0113tku vec\u012b\u0161i. Kas tik tur nebija: Kolumbijas kafija, kakao sk\u0101rda bund\u017e\u0101, \u0161okol\u0101de, rieksti, vis\u0101di konservi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vienam maisi\u0146\u0101 pie v\u0113dera 5 kg cukura. Mums bija p\u012br\u0101gi, zoss un k\u0101posti. Tie bija pamat\u012bgi Ziemassv\u0113tki, pirmie t\u0101di p\u0113c kara.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

V\u0113l\u0101k, to visu atceroties, padom\u0101ju – k\u0101da \u010dekas nolaid\u012bba, k\u0101 Sta\u013cina laik\u0101 somi mier\u012bgi var\u0113ja iet un n\u0101kt un neviens nebija izsekojis?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Toreiz man\u0101 \u012bpa\u0161um\u0101 non\u0101ca ar\u012b pirmie divi Reader\u2019s Digest \u017eurn\u0101l\u012b\u0161i ang\u013cu valod\u0101, kurus ar v\u0101rdn\u012bcas pal\u012bdz\u012bbu aizraut\u012bgi las\u012bju. T\u0101tad jau 1945. gad\u0101 biju tikusi pie t\u0101 saucam\u0101s pretpadomju literat\u016bras. T\u0101 bija mana pirm\u0101 literat\u016bra ang\u013cu valod\u0101.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Visp\u0101r tie \u0101rzemnieki bija zi\u0146k\u0101r\u012bgi, vi\u0146i nop\u0113t\u012bja, k\u0101das gr\u0101matas es lasu. Plauktos gan bija tikai sol\u012bd\u0101s gr\u0101matas, ce\u013cojumu apraksti un Kopotie raksti, vairums v\u0101cu valod\u0101. Vi\u0146i ar\u012b atzin\u012bgi izteic\u0101s par man\u0101m e\u013c\u013cas glezn\u0101m, bet tas jau nu t\u0101, piekl\u0101j\u012bbas p\u0113c. Sol\u012bj\u0101s, pat atvest e\u013c\u013cas kr\u0101sas t\u016bbi\u0146\u0101s, bet tas gan nenotika.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

N K V D<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

P\u0113c Jaungada br\u012bvlaika, 1946. gada janv\u0101r\u012b, m\u016bsu klasei pievienoj\u0101s divi jauni skol\u0113ni, repatrianti no Krievijas. Pesiju Foss nos\u0113din\u0101ja man blakus, jo l\u012bdz tam biju s\u0113d\u0113jusi viena un pirmaj\u0101 rind\u0101. Vi\u0146a izskat\u012bj\u0101s \u013coti \u012bpatn\u0113ji, ar\u012b t\u0113rpusies bija d\u012bvaini – krievu plintnieces – armijas dr\u0113b\u0113s, kuras vi\u0146ai nepavisam nepiest\u0101v\u0113ja, jo bija \u013coti resna. Otrs bija Harijs Murovskis. Sav\u0101di, ka vi\u0146i n\u0101ca uz latvie\u0161u vidusskolu. Liep\u0101j\u0101 tak bija ar\u012b krievu skola, un krievu valod\u0101 vi\u0146i orient\u0113j\u0101s nesal\u012bdzin\u0101mi lab\u0101k. Murovskis jau no pa\u0161\u0101m pirmaj\u0101m dien\u0101m iek\u0101rtoj\u0101s t\u0101, lai reiz\u0113 ar mani ietu uz m\u0101j\u0101m. Vi\u0146am esot ar mani pa ce\u013cam. Reiz, ne no \u0161\u0101, ne no t\u0101, Murovskis man st\u0101st\u012bja, ka Ziemas ost\u0101 st\u0101vot divi ang\u013cu ku\u0123i un viens d\u0101\u0146u kabe\u013cku\u0123is. Pajaut\u0101ju, k\u0101 vi\u0146\u0161 to zin, ja jau dz\u012bvo man\u0101 rajon\u0101, bet Ziemas osta t\u0101lu. Vi\u0146\u0161 esot pats redz\u0113jis, k\u0101 ang\u013ci turpat ostas teritorij\u0101 snieg\u0101 futbolu sp\u0113l\u0113. Toreiz, mu\u013c\u0137e, nepajaut\u0101ju, k\u0101d\u0113\u013c vi\u0146\u0161 tie\u0161i man to st\u0101sta un k\u0101 var no t\u0101lienes noteikt, k\u0101das taut\u012bbas j\u016brnieki sp\u0113l\u0113 ost\u0101 futbolu. Bet par d\u0101\u0146u kabe\u013cku\u0123i gan ieinteres\u0113jos, jo dom\u0101ju, ka tur varb\u016bt var\u0113tu kaut ko uzzin\u0101t par skolas draudzeni Astr\u012bdu Sudmali. Astr\u012bdas t\u0113vs pirms kara bija apvienoto zieme\u013cvalstu telegr\u0101fa a\u0123ent\u016bras direktors ar rezidenci Liep\u0101j\u0101, bet vi\u0146iem bija ar\u012b vasaras m\u0101ja D\u0101nij\u0101. \u0123imene atst\u0101ja Latviju 1944. gada ruden\u012b. Sudma\u013ci toreiz aicin\u0101ja mani l\u012bdzi, ta\u010du bija neskaidr\u012bbas ar maniem vec\u0101kiem, jo m\u0101te pati tais\u012bj\u0101s izce\u013cot, bet nevar\u0113j\u0101m no Liep\u0101jas uz R\u012bgu sazin\u0101ties. Pie\u013c\u0101vu varb\u016bt\u012bbu, ka mana m\u0101te ir jau V\u0101cij\u0101, un gaid\u012bju ar nepaciet\u012bbu zi\u0146u. Sudma\u013ci aizbrauca, un, kad Liep\u0101j\u0101 iebruka krievu ordas, es briesm\u012bgi no\u017e\u0113loju, ka neaizbraucu Sudma\u013ciem l\u012bdzi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Un vajadz\u0113ja t\u0101 sagad\u012bties, ka burtiski n\u0101ko\u0161aj\u0101 dien\u0101 uz Graudu ielas satiku d\u0101\u0146u kabe\u013cku\u0123a kapteini divu virsnieku pavad\u012bb\u0101! Tur vi\u0146i st\u0101v\u0113ja un pra\u0161\u0146\u0101ja gar\u0101mg\u0101j\u0113jiem k\u0101du adresi. Devos dro\u0161i kl\u0101t, par\u0101d\u012bju, kur j\u0101iet, un pie reizes apjaut\u0101jos, vai kapteinis nepaz\u012bst biju\u0161o telegr\u0101f\u0101 direktoru Sudma\u013ca kungu un vai nezina vi\u0146a adresi. Teicu, ka ar Sudma\u013ca meitu kop\u0101 skol\u0101 g\u0101ju. J\u0101, vi\u0146\u0161 dz\u012bvi iesauc\u0101s. Vi\u0146\u0161 labi paz\u012bstot Sudma\u013cu \u0123imeni, bet sakar\u0101 ar padomju armijas straujo virz\u012b\u0161anos uz Rietumiem vi\u0146i esot p\u0101rc\u0113lu\u0161ies uz Turciju. Pateicos par zi\u0146\u0101m un atvad\u012bjos. Gan to, gan daudzas n\u0101kam\u0101s dienas es nevar\u0113ju vien nomierin\u0101ties un sev piedot toreiz\u0113jo k\u013c\u016bdu. (Tagad Astr\u012bda dz\u012bvo ASV, Nevadas \u0161tat\u0101, un ir lielas naftas firmas viceprezidente.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Un tad mani ieperin\u0101j\u0101s jaunas idejas. K\u0101 b\u016btu, ja es m\u0113\u0123in\u0101tu satikt tos ang\u013cus, man tak m\u0101j\u0101s ir da\u017eas zeltlieti\u0146as, kuras krievu \u201catbr\u012bvot\u0101ji\u201d, izvandot m\u016bsu dz\u012bvokli, nebija dab\u016bju\u0161i, jo tad t\u0101s v\u0113l nebija izraktas no sl\u0113ptuves malkas \u0161\u0137\u016bn\u012bt\u012b, kur t\u0101s glab\u0101j\u0101s visu kara laiku, ieb\u0101ztas piena pudel\u0113s ar z\u012bm\u012bt\u0113m, kam t\u0101s pieder. Nol\u0113mu ang\u013ciem pied\u0101v\u0101t zelta gredzenus k\u0101 atl\u012bdz\u012bbu, ja mani pasl\u0113ptu ku\u0123\u012b un aizvestu uz Angliju. Dom\u0101ts – dar\u012bts. Aizbraucu ar tramvaju l\u012bdz Ziemas ostai. V\u0113roju apk\u0101rtni un sapratu, ka nekur netik\u0161u kl\u0101t. G\u0101ju uz kaps\u0113tu. Tur redzu – kaps\u0113tu no ostas teritorijas atdala dzelo\u0146dr\u0101\u0161u no\u017eogojums. Vien\u0101 viet\u0101 zem dzelo\u0146dr\u0101t\u012bm padzi\u013ca bedr\u012bte, caur kuru suns mier\u012bgi var\u0113tu izl\u012bst. Tuvum\u0101 atradu koka sprunguli, ar kuru var\u0113ju bedr\u012bti padzi\u013cin\u0101t. T\u0101da nieka \u0161\u0137\u0113r\u0161\u013ca d\u0113\u013c tak neatteik\u0161os no varb\u016bt\u0113j\u0101m dz\u012bves p\u0101rmai\u0146\u0101m! \u0145\u0113mos kas\u012bt. Zeme virspus\u0113 nedaudz sasalusi, t\u0101l\u0101k jau g\u0101ja viegl\u0101k. Kapos nevienas dz\u012bvas dv\u0113seles. Pabeigusi rakt, no\u0123\u0113rbu m\u0113teli, saloc\u012bju ar oderi uz \u0101ru un izst\u016bmu otr\u0101 pus\u0113 \u017eogam. Pati g\u016blos uz muguras un p\u0113c mirk\u013ca biju aizliegtaj\u0101 zon\u0101. Ap\u0123\u0113rbos un v\u0113roju, k\u0101 tur izskat\u0101s. Par\u0101d\u012bj\u0101s krievu sargkareivis liel\u0101 plik\u0101das ka\u017eok\u0101, ar \u0161auteni p\u0101r plecu. Nov\u0113roju, ka vi\u0146\u0161 staig\u0101 no viena ostas gala uz otru. Viens ku\u0123is ar Anglijas karogu man tie\u0161i pret\u012b, otrs t\u0101l\u0101k. Sargs aizg\u0101ja uz otru pusi, es pielav\u012bjos ku\u0123im tuv\u0101k un nosl\u0113pos aiz benz\u012bna muc\u0101m. Sargu visu laiku patur\u0113ju sav\u0101 redzeslok\u0101. Vi\u0146\u0161 att\u0101lin\u0101j\u0101s. Nieka p\u0101rdesmit metrus noskr\u0113ju nedaudz\u0101s sekund\u0113s un pa taisno, pa laipu biju uz ku\u0123a. Ku\u0123a kl\u0101j\u0101 neviena cilv\u0113ka, ko nu dar\u012bt. Paskat\u012bjusies, ko dara sargkareivis, pag\u0101ju da\u017eus so\u013cus uz priek\u0161u un nosl\u0113pos aiz lielas kastes, tad s\u0101ku saukt: \u201dIs somebody there?\u201d(Vai tur k\u0101ds ir?) P\u0113c mirk\u013ca izn\u0101ca matrozis. Nezaud\u0113jot laiku, teicu, ka man steidz\u012bgi j\u0101run\u0101 ar k\u0101du virsnieku.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Matrozis, ar izbr\u012bnu noraudz\u012bjies uz mani, pagriez\u0101s un sauca. Par\u0101d\u012bj\u0101s t\u0101ds nopietn\u0101k \u0146emams v\u012brietis pusm\u016b\u017ea gados. Pateicu savu v\u0113l\u0113\u0161anos – lai mani pasl\u0113pj uz ku\u0123a, par ko atl\u012bdzin\u0101\u0161u zelt\u0101. P\u0113c atl\u012bdz\u012bbas var\u0113tu nos\u016bt\u012bt uz m\u0101j\u0101m k\u0101du ang\u013cu matrozi ar v\u0113stuli, jo pa\u0161ai iet v\u0113lreiz caur \u017eogu negrib\u0113tos.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anglis, mani uzklaus\u012bjis, saproto\u0161i pam\u0101ja ar galvu, bet tad cent\u0101s mani p\u0101rliecin\u0101t, ka tas nav iesp\u0113jams. S\u0101ku l\u016bgties un biju tuvu raud\u0101m. Laikam asaras jau par\u0101d\u012bj\u0101s, anglis apgriez\u0101s un ieg\u0101ja ku\u0123a telp\u0101s, dom\u0101ju, varb\u016bt aprun\u0101sies ar k\u0101du pr\u0101t\u012bg\u0101ku cilv\u0113ku un mani tom\u0113r nosl\u0113ps. P\u0113c br\u012bti\u0146a tas pats n\u0101k atpaka\u013c, rok\u0101s \u0161okol\u0101des t\u0101fel\u012btes, kuras sniedz man. Jutos \u0161ausm\u012bgi v\u012blusies un apkaunota, jo neesmu nek\u0101da ostas diedelniece. Negrib\u0113ju \u0161okol\u0101di \u0146emt, tad, padom\u0101jusi, pras\u012bju, vai nevar vismaz \u0161okol\u0101di pret cigaret\u0113m samain\u012bt, jo man p\u0101rdz\u012bvojumu rezult\u0101t\u0101 \u0161ausm\u012bgi grib\u0113j\u0101s uzsm\u0113\u0137\u0113t. Anglis br\u012bn\u012bj\u0101s, k\u0101d\u0113\u013c mazai meitenei cigaretes (I.itle girl – meiten\u012bte), atzinos, ka sm\u0113\u0137\u0113ju no asto\u0146u gadu vecuma, bet ka m\u0101j\u0101s to v\u0113l nezin, jo atkl\u0101ti v\u0113l neesmu uzdro\u0161in\u0101jusies. Man atnesa veselu bloku Camel cigaretes. Ja es b\u016btu piepras\u012bjusi viskiju, laikam ar\u012b to man b\u016btu devu\u0161i, lai tikai \u0101tr\u0101k dab\u016btu mani prom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bet es negrib\u0113ju tik viegli atk\u0101pties, r\u0101d\u012bju uz kasti un piepras\u012bju, lai b\u0101\u017e mani iek\u0161\u0101. V\u012brs vis\u0101 nopietn\u012bb\u0101 s\u0101ka mani p\u0101rliecin\u0101t, ka vi\u0146i to nedr\u012bkst dar\u012bt. Anglija mani ne\u0146em\u0161ot pret\u012b, jo tur ir stingri imigr\u0101cijas likumi, kur tad es palik?ot. Visu teikto sapratu. Nu, ja t\u0101; tad neko nevar dar\u012bt Pal\u016bdzu v\u0113l, lai p\u0101rbauda, uz kuru pusi iet sargkareivis, un lai man pam\u0101j, kad varu iet. To vi\u0146i dar\u012bja labpr\u0101t. Ieg\u016bt\u0101s trofejas man ielika pap\u012bra t\u016bt\u0101. Apb\u0113din\u0101ta par \u0161ausm\u012bgo neveiksmi, devos atpaka\u013c no \u201cAnglijas\u201d uz okup\u0113to Latviju. Laim\u012bgi nok\u013cuvusi kapos, aps\u0113dos uz k\u0101da soli\u0146a, uzp\u012bp\u0113ju amerik\u0101\u0146u cigareti un p\u0101rdom\u0101ju dz\u012bvi… Cigaretes un \u0161okol\u0101di m\u0101j\u0101s r\u016bp\u012bgi nosl\u0113pu, bet uz skolu gan otr\u0101 dien\u0101 pa\u0146\u0113mu l\u012bdzi cigaretes z\u0113niem un \u0161okol\u0101di meiten\u0113m.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ar z\u0113niem m\u0113s parasti g\u0101j\u0101m sm\u0113\u0137\u0113t skolas b\u0113ni\u0146os garaj\u0101 br\u012bvstund\u0101. Visi z\u0113ni br\u012bn\u012bj\u0101s, kur man t\u0101das cigaretes gad\u012bju\u0161\u0101s, teicu, ka Amerikas onkulis ats\u016bt\u012bja. Bet Murovskis gan saprata, no k\u0101 esmu cigaretes dab\u016bjusi. Divas dienas pag\u0101ja bez sevi\u0161\u0137iem notikumiem. Bet tre\u0161aj\u0101 dien\u0101 redz\u0113ju, ka skolas direktora kabinet\u0101 ieg\u0101ja divi sve\u0161i, nekad agr\u0101k neredz\u0113ti v\u012brie\u0161i \u0101das m\u0113te\u013cos. P\u0113c stundas mani izsauca uz direktora kabinetu, tur man iedeva pav\u0113sti, izrakst\u012btu uz mana v\u0101rda, ierasties Kr.Barona iel\u0101 plkst. 12.00 nakt\u012b. Teicu, ka mana m\u0101te mani t\u0101d\u0101 stund\u0101 no m\u0101jas nelaid\u012bs. Lai es atn\u0101kot agr\u0101k, bet m\u0101j\u0101s nedr\u012bkstot teikt, uz kurieni eju. \u201cBet m\u0101t\u0113 mani sit\u012bs, ja neteik\u0161u.\u201d Lai nu es pati izdom\u0101jot, ko teikt, bet vi\u0146u iest\u0101di piemin\u0113t nedr\u012bkstot ne m\u0101j\u0101s, ne skol\u0101, pret\u0113j\u0101 gad\u012bjum\u0101 var\u0113tu b\u016bt b\u0113d\u012bgas sekas. T\u0101 man tika piedraud\u0113ts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Atliku\u0161aj\u0101 stund\u0101 neko nedzird\u0113ju un nesapratu, dom\u0101s koncentr\u0113jos tikai uz to, kas mani sagaida, par nepat\u012bkamajiem tipiem \u0101das m\u0113te\u013cos un ko vi\u0146iem atbild\u0113t, kad jaut\u0101s par ostu, jo zin\u0101ju, par ko mani sauc, un sapratu, ka nodev\u0113js ir m\u016bsu Pav\u013ciks Morozovs – Murovskis. Un vai nav tom\u0113r labi, ka to uzzin\u0101ju burtiski p\u0113c da\u017e\u0101m ned\u0113\u013c\u0101m, kop\u0161 \u0161is tips m\u016bsu vid\u016b uzrad\u0101s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

M\u0101j\u0101s pav\u0113st\u012b par\u0101d\u012bju un pateicu, ka esmu br\u012bdin\u0101ta nevienam neko neteikt. M\u0101te jaut\u0101ja, k\u0101d\u0101 sakar\u012bb\u0101, bet es atteicu, ka neko nezinu, jo nekad neko m\u0101j\u0101s nest\u0101st\u012bju. Nevar\u0113ja jau paredz\u0113t, kas m\u0101tei pa pr\u0101tam kas ne, un negrib\u0113ju m\u0101ti kaitin\u0101t, lai nes\u0101k mani raust\u012bt aiz biz\u0113m, t\u0101s man toreiz bija \u013coti garas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tad nu taj\u0101 vakar\u0101 sa\u0137emm\u0113jos un sapinu bizes par jaunu nu, lai god\u012bg\u0101ka izskat\u012btos. Pa\u0146\u0113mu pirmo pa rokai gad\u012bju\u0161os m\u0101c\u012bbu gr\u0101matu, ko las\u012bt, kam\u0113r j\u0101gaida, jo nol\u0113mu izlikties, ka nemaz neesmu nobijusies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u012asten\u012bb\u0101 bailes bija \u0161ausm\u012bgas, g\u0101ju k\u0101 ar svina k\u0101j\u0101m. Tur man lika aps\u0113sties gaiten\u012b uz kr\u0113sla. Bez manis tur s\u0113d\u0113ja vair\u0101ki pieaugu\u0161ie. Atv\u0113ru m\u0101c\u012bbu gr\u0101matu un izlikos, ka lasu. Burtus redz\u0113ju, bet v\u0101rdus nesapratu. Laiku pa laikam bija dzirdami kliedzieni, tur laikam k\u0101dus sp\u012bdzin\u0101ja. Un ja nu mani ar\u012b sp\u012bdzin\u0101s? T\u0101das kliedzienu ska\u0146as jau s\u0101ka stindzin\u0101t asinis. P\u0113c laici\u0146a divi form\u0101s t\u0113rptie veda cilv\u0113ku ar gal\u012bgi dauz\u012btu seju. P\u0113c tam v\u0113l vienu ar pavisam svaig\u0101m, asi\u0146ain\u0101m sitienu p\u0113d\u0101m uz pieres un nobr\u0101ztiem vaigu kauliem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lik\u0101s nesaprotami, k\u0101d\u0113\u013c man un p\u0101r\u0113jiem gaid\u012bt\u0101jiem t\u0101dus skatus r\u0101da, vai iebied\u0113\u0161anas nol\u016bk\u0101?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tikko sadauz\u012btais jaunais cilv\u0113ks izskat\u012bj\u0101s \u013coti izmoc\u012bts, un m\u016bsu acis uz mirkli \u013coti izteiksm\u012bgi, sastap\u0101s. M\u0113s bij\u0101m sve\u0161i, bet jut\u0101mies vienoti. \u0161o acu skatienu ilgi, ilgi nevar\u0113ju aizmirst. Kliedzieni v\u0113l un v\u0113l atk\u0101rtoj\u0101s, tur \u201cstr\u0101d\u0101ja\u201d, un mums j\u0101gaida sava k\u0101rta. Mana k\u0101rta pien\u0101ca ap vieniem nakt\u012b. Bez jebk\u0101da ievada man jaut\u0101ja, kas jauns skol\u0101 un ko es esot dar\u012bjusi Ziemas ost\u0101. Atbildi biju sagatavojusi un teicu, ka man nekad v\u0113l ost\u0101 nav gad\u012bjies b\u016bt, jo kas man, skolniecei, visp\u0101r var\u0113tu b\u016bt mekl\u0113jams ost\u0101. Teicu, ka biju kapos vect\u0113vam skujas uzlikt (\u012bsten\u012bb\u0101 mans vect\u0113vs gu\u013c citos kapos, bet sav\u0101 pr\u0101t\u0101 nol\u0113mu – kapus tak neviens va\u013c\u0101 neraks, lai identific\u0113tu, kur\u0161 bijis mans vect\u0113vs).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Negaid\u012bju t\u0101l\u0101kus jaut\u0101jumus, nol\u0113mu pati savu versiju izst\u0101st\u012bt. Teicu, ka atradu kapos mazu ka\u0137\u012bti un ar to rok\u0101s aps\u0113dos uz soli\u0146a. \u013boti nobijos , kad sev aiz muguras izdzirdu v\u012brie\u0161a balsi. V\u012brietis st\u0101v\u0113ja aiz dzelo\u0146stiep\u013cu \u017eoga, run\u0101ja kaut k\u0101d\u0101 sve\u0161\u0101 valod\u0101, un es, no sve\u0161\u0101 baid\u012bdam\u0101s, jau grib\u0113ju b\u0113gt prom. Negaidot sve\u0161ais s\u0101ka vilkt kaut ko no kabat\u0101m un meta p\u0101ri \u017eogam man. Tur bija \u0161okol\u0101de un cigaretes, un, kas tur par br\u012bnumu, ja es, p\u0113ckara b\u0113rns, t\u0101das retas. mantas pac\u0113lu un ar\u012b uz skolu aiznesu. Man\u012bju, ka pratin\u0101t\u0101js laikam ir notic\u0113jis, jo nekas nenor\u0101d\u012bja par pret\u0113jo. Iest\u0101j\u0101s \u012bss klusuma br\u012bdis, lai nerad\u012btu iesp\u0113ju v\u0113l kaut ko jaut\u0101t un, grib\u0113dama vi\u0146u p\u0101rliecin\u0101t, ka man visp\u0101r nav par ko baid\u012bties, par\u0101d\u012bju l\u012bdzpa\u0146emto skolas gr\u0101matu, teikdama, cik labi, ka pa\u0146\u0113mu to l\u012bdzi: kam\u0113r gaid\u012bju uz pie\u0146em\u0161anu, sagatavoju stundas vair\u0101k\u0101m dien\u0101m uz priek?u:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Redz\u0113ju, ka gr\u0101mata atst\u0101ja labu iespaidu par manu god\u012bgo person\u012bbu. Dom\u0101ju, nu es varu celties un iet, jo uzskat\u012bju lietu par izbeigtu, jo ac\u012bmredzot \u0161ai iest\u0101dei nav nekas zin\u0101ms par citiem maniem nedarbiem: par karogu norau\u0161anu, m\u0113r\u0137\u012b \u0161au\u0161anu K\u016brm\u0101jas prospekt\u0101 k\u0101d\u0101 pagrab\u0101, ragu un astes piez\u012bm\u0113\u0161anu Sta\u013cina bildei uz \u017eurn\u0101la v\u0101ka skolas sarkanaj\u0101 st\u016br\u012bti u.c.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Visi s\u012bkie nedarbi\u0146i man\u0101 acu priek\u0161\u0101 nozibsn\u012bja k\u0101 pa\u0101trin\u0101t\u0101 kinolent\u0113. Bet pratin\u0101t\u0101js mani p\u0101rsteidza ar gal\u012bgi idiotisku jaut\u0101jumu, proti, ko mani vec\u0101ki run\u0101jot par jauno padomju vald\u012bbu. Jaut\u0101jums tika izteikts neveikli un tik neprofesion\u0101l\u0101 l\u012bmen\u012b, ka es tik tikko nes\u0101ku smieties, iedom\u0101joties, kur\u0161 gan vi\u0146am st\u0101st\u012bs, par ko vec\u0101ki m\u0101j\u0101s run\u0101.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

J\u0101atbild bija, t\u0101d\u0113\u013c sac\u012bju, ka mana m\u0101te ar vecom\u0101ti t\u0101 sapl\u0113su\u0161\u0101s, ka nu jau m\u0113ne\u0161iem sav\u0101 starp\u0101 nerun\u0101 nemaz, \u0161\u0146\u0101kdamas vien staig\u0101. Viss. Par m\u0101j\u0101m viss skaidrs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tad atkal jaut\u0101ja par skolu, ko run\u0101 skol\u0113ni, skolot\u0101ji, skol\u0113nu vec\u0101ki. Teicu, skol\u0101 tuvojas sar\u012bkojums un run\u0101 galvenok\u0101rt par to. Laikam pietr\u016bka jaut\u0101jumu. No t\u0101 NKVD pratin\u0101t\u0101ja jau ar\u012b nekas pr\u0101t\u012bgs nevar\u0113ja b\u016bt, t\u0101ds za\u013c\u0161 ze\u0146\u0137is vien bija, nek\u0101du respektu pret vi\u0146u nejutu. Vi\u0146\u0161 man parakst\u012bja caurlaidi, teikdams, ja es dzirdot k\u0101dus pretpadomju izteicienus, lai nekav\u0113joties vi\u0146am pazi\u0146ojot un lai ostas tuvum\u0101 vair\u0101k ner\u0101doties. Vien\u0101 mier\u0101 atbild\u0113ju, ka tagad, ziem\u0101, man tur nav ko mekl\u0113t, bet pavasar\u012b gan b\u016bs uz kapa pu\u0137es j\u0101uzst\u0101da, bet tad jau sve\u0161ie ku\u0123i tur vairs nest\u0101v\u0113s. Aizverot aiz sevis NKVD nama durvis, jutos vai veselus desmit gadus vec\u0101ka. Sapratu, ka pret mani nek\u0101du tie\u0161u pier\u0101d\u012bjumu nebija, iz\u0146emot m\u016bsu klases komjaunie?a Murovska zi\u0146ojumu. Zin\u0101ju, ka neb\u016bs viegli apsl\u0113pt dusmas pret pret\u012bgo komjaunieti, tom\u0113r nol\u0113mu skol\u0101 nevienam neko neteikt; jo biju par to br\u012bdin\u0101ta.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dr\u012bz p\u0113c mana nepat\u012bkam\u0101 piedz\u012bvojuma sekoja pavisam uztrauco?s notikums, par kuru uzzin\u0101ja visa skola, lai gan run\u0101ja par to tikai \u010dukstus. No 12. klases bija apcietin\u0101ti \u010detri z\u0113ni, vienlaic\u012bgi ar vair\u0101kiem citiem no Liep\u0101jas tehnikuma p\u0113d\u0113jiem kursiem. Dr\u012bz dab\u016bj\u0101m zin\u0101t apcietin\u0101\u0161anas iemeslu: Izr\u0101d\u0101s, uz pap\u012bra lapas zem virsraksta \u201cT\u0113vijas vanagi\u201d biju\u0161i pierakst\u012bti visu apcietin\u0101to z\u0113nu uzv\u0101rdi. T\u0101tad vi\u0146i tika aps\u016bdz\u0113ti par skolnieku grupas organiz\u0101cijas \u201cT\u0113vijas vanagi\u201d organiz\u0113\u0161anu. V\u0101rdu atceros tikai vienam, jo vi\u0146\u0161 sp\u0113l\u0113ja klavieres m\u016bsu 1. vidusskolas skolnieku or\u0137estr\u012b. Tas bija Gun\u0101rs G\u016b\u017ea, \u013coti piekl\u0101j\u012bgs, vis\u0101d\u0101 zi\u0146\u0101 pozit\u012bvs z\u0113ns ar atkl\u0101tu valodu. Pui\u0161us ties\u0101ja Baltijas kara apgabala kara tribun\u0101ls 1947. gada decembr\u012b. Visiem piesprieda 25 gadus br\u012bv\u012bbas at\u0146em\u0161anu ar ties\u012bbu zaud\u0113\u0161anu uz 5 gadiem. Tas nebija juridisks tiesas process, bet \u013cauns murgs. Par apcietin\u0101to z\u0113nu t\u0101l\u0101ko likteni neviens neko nezin\u0101ja.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

DAKTERIS Z\u0100BERS<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\u0160ad tad uz ielas satiku dakteri Z\u0101beru. Vi\u0146u pa gabalu var\u0113ja paz\u012bt p\u0113c friz\u016bras, jo vi\u0146am bija stipri gari, biezi, pavisam balti mati. Vi\u0146\u0161 bija krietni p\u0101ri pensijas vecumam, bet joproj\u0101m str\u0101d\u0101ja.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

M\u0113s bij\u0101m paz\u012bstami no v\u0101cu laika, kad str\u0101d\u0101j\u0101m vien\u0101 lazaret\u0113 – Nr.769. V\u0101cu laika p\u0113d\u0113j\u0101 gad\u0101 bija izdota pav\u0113le, ka visiem jaunie\u0161iem, sasniegu\u0161iem \u010detrpadsmit gadu vecumu, bija j\u0101str\u0101d\u0101, pret\u0113j\u0101 gad\u012bjum\u0101 j\u0101brauc \u0101rpus pils\u0113tas tran\u0161ejas rakt. Es iek\u0101rtojos darb\u0101 Liep\u0101jas pils\u0113t\u0101s vald\u0113 par kurjeri. Tur ar\u012b iem\u0101c\u012bjos lietot rakst\u0101mma\u0161\u012bnu, jo bija j\u0101raksta veidlapas. Kurjeres darbs man nepatika, un es ilgi tur nepaliku. Rad\u0101s izdev\u012bba iek\u0101rtoties daudz smalk\u0101k\u0101 viet\u0101 – v\u0101cu kara lazaret\u0113 par p\u0101rtikas noliktavas uzskaites gr\u0101matvedi. Lazaretei bija noda\u013cas vis\u0101 pils\u0113t\u0101, bet \u0123imn\u0101zijas \u0113k\u0101 bija \u0137irur\u0123isk\u0101 noda\u013ca, p\u0101rtikas noliktava un gr\u0101matved\u012bba. Visi dokumenti ien\u0101ca rokrakst\u0101 un ar gotu burtiem. Par laimi, gotu rakstus las\u012bju br\u012bvi, jo biju g\u0101jusi v\u0101cu pamatskol\u0101.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Man ier\u0101d\u012bja pa\u0161ai savu rakst\u0101mgaldu, maks\u0101ja piekl\u0101j\u012bgu algu un deva virsnieku uzturu, ar\u012b cigaretes. Tas viss piecpadsmit gadu vecum\u0101.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Visi mani respekt\u0113ja, un es jutos k\u0101 pieaugusi d\u0101ma. Attieksme pret darbu man bija nopietna. Lazaret\u0113 str\u0101d\u0101ju ar\u012b kapitul\u0101cijas dien\u0101, kad plkst. 12 aiz mana loga nokrita p\u0113d\u0113j\u0101 krievu bumba, mani nometot uz gr\u012bdas, apberot ar apmetuma putek\u013ciem un aplejot ar tinti. Plkst.14 lazarete uzvilka baltos karogus gan pie v\u0101rtiem, gan uz jumta.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u0113c k\u0101das pusstundas lazaret\u0113 ierad\u0101s k\u0101di desmit krievu virsnieki. Galvenais \u0101rsts pav\u0113l\u0113ja krieviem par godu uzkl\u0101t galdu ar lab\u0101kiem \u0113dieniem, v\u012bnu un \u0161ampanieti. Tad atkl\u0101j\u0101s, ka krievu virsnieki izv\u0113l\u0113ju\u0161ies \u0161o lazareti par apciemojuma objektu, pateicoties sarkanajam karogam uz jumta. Visi bija man\u0101mi apjuku\u0161i un br\u012bn\u012bj\u0101s, k\u0101 tas tur gad\u012bjies. Vain\u012bgais pats pieteic\u0101s. Tas bija v\u0101cu virsnieks ar palamu \u201cKukur\u0161inskij\u201d. Vi\u0146\u0161 bija V\u0101cijas komunistisk\u0101s partijas biedrs no divdesmito gadu s\u0101kuma, pat biedra karte aiz fren\u010da oderes saglab\u0101ta. Var\u0113ja man\u012bt, ka daudziem \u012bstiem v\u0101cie\u0161iem tas bija \u0161oks, bet ko tu padar\u012bsi!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lazaretes person\u0101lam v\u0113l viens p\u0101rsteigums tika sag\u0101d\u0101ts, kad galvenais \u0101rsts veda krievu virsniekus uz tre\u0161o st\u0101vu. Tur \u012bsten\u012bb\u0101 bija tikai medikamentu noliktavas, bet k\u0101d\u0101 sl\u0113gt\u0101 telp\u0101 uztur\u0113j\u0101s jau iz\u0101rst\u0113tie krievu virsnieki-tankisti. Par vi\u0146u atra\u0161anos m\u016bsu lazaret\u0113 bija zin\u0101ju\u0161i tikai tie nedaudzie, kuri vi\u0146us, pagalam apdegu\u0161us, bija kopu\u0161i. Kas un kad vi\u0146us pusdz\u012bvus atveda, palika mums nosl\u0113pums. Tiekoties ar sav\u0113jiem, vi\u0146i bija st\u0101st\u012bju\u0161i, K\u0101 v\u0101cu \u0101rsti vi\u0146iem dz\u012bv\u012bbas izgl\u0101bu\u0161i. J\u0101dom\u0101, \u0101rsti bija r\u0113\u0137in\u0101ju\u0161ies ar kara izn\u0101kumu un t\u0101d\u0101 veid\u0101 cer\u0113ja iemantot krievu labv\u0113l\u012bbu. K\u0101 krievi atl\u012bdzin\u0101ja \u0101rstiem, nav zin\u0101ms, bet v\u0101cu komunistu p\u0113c nedaudziem m\u0113ne\u0161iem redz\u0113ju ar krievu \u0161auteni rok\u0101 apsarg\u0101jam savus tautie\u0161us – kara g\u016bstek\u0146us drupu nov\u0101k\u0161anas darbos Liep\u0101jas iel\u0101s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Satiku\u0161ies ar dakteri Z\u0101beru, var\u0113j\u0101m k\u0101 biju\u0161ie aculiecinieki p\u0101rrun\u0101t pag\u0101tni. Z\u0101bers man past\u0101st\u012bja, ka str\u0101d\u0101jot par tiesas medic\u012bnas ekspertu, pie viena nor\u0101dot m\u0101ju, kur\u0101 notiek eksperta p\u0101rbaudes. Es dr\u012bkst\u0113ju vi\u0146am iet l\u012bdzi un paskat\u012bties, k\u0101 ekspert\u012bze notiek. Kabinet\u0101 ieveda krievu pui\u0161eli, mazgad\u012bgo noziedznieku, bez vec\u0101kiem, bez dz\u012bvesvietas, bez dokumentiem. Dakterim Z\u0101beram bija j\u0101nosaka pui\u0161e\u013ca vecums. Tas nebija gr\u016bti, bez tam, k\u0101 jau vec\u0101ks cilv\u0113ks, Z\u0101bers run\u0101ja krieviski. Vi\u0146\u0161 man past\u0101st\u012bja, ka t\u0101du \u017euliku tagad pilna pils\u0113ta,no malu mal\u0101m klaido\u0146i saradu\u0161ies, visi bez dokumentiem, lai sl\u0113ptu \u012bstos gadus, lai tiktu ties\u0101ti k\u0101 \u201cmazgad\u012bgie\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

K\u0101du citu dienu dakteris Z\u0101bers mani uzaicin\u0101ja uz morgu, tur es vi\u0146am biju t\u0101da k\u0101 asistente, bez algas. M\u0113s kop\u012bgi izdar\u012bj\u0101m l\u012b\u0137u sekcijas, lai konstat\u0113tu n\u0101ves c\u0113loni. Z\u0101bers mani radin\u0101ja p\u0101rvar\u0113t riebumu, sac\u012bdams, ka jaunam viegl\u0101k pierast, jo bija run\u0101ts, ka p\u0113c skolas beig\u0161anas ie\u0161u vi\u0146a p\u0113d\u0101s uz medi\u0137iem. Z\u0101bers jau nezin\u0101ja, ka mani sap\u0146i par medic\u012bnu nekad nepiepild\u012bsies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

M\u0100TES ARESTS<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Agr\u0101 r\u012bta stund\u0101 pie m\u016bsu dz\u012bvok\u013ca durv\u012bm – gan ielas, gan pagalma – atskan\u0113ja neganta durvju si\u0161ana: Bija atn\u0101ku\u0161i izkrat\u012bt m\u016bsu dz\u012bvokli. \u0161oreiz es vain\u012bga nejutos, tom\u0113r ir neomul\u012bga saj\u016bta, kad sve\u0161u cilv\u0113ku rokas rak\u0146\u0101jas pa tav\u0101m person\u012bg\u0101m mant\u0101m. Neviens ar\u012b neko nepaskaidro, ko un k\u0101d\u0113\u013c mekl\u0113.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Visa \u0161au\u0161al\u012bg\u0101, nopietn\u0101 krat\u012b\u0161ana beidz\u0101s bez rezult\u0101tiem. Lika mums vis\u0101m parakst\u012bties, ka nekas nav pa\u0146emts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Un tom\u0113r pa\u0146\u0113ma m\u016bsu vien\u012bgo apg\u0101dnieci, manu m\u0101ti. Vienk\u0101r\u0161i pa\u0146\u0113ma un, apcietin\u0101ja. Vec\u0101m\u0101te lika man mammu samekl\u0113t, bet tas nebija vienk\u0101r\u0161s uzdevums. Pag\u0101ja p\u0101ris ned\u0113\u013cas, kam\u0113r mammu atradu Liep\u0101jas cietum\u0101. Tur uzzin\u0101ju, k\u0101diem alfab\u0113ta burtiem, kur\u0101 ned\u0113\u013cas dien\u0101 pie\u0146em pienesumu. M\u016bsu burtam bija sestdiena. No t\u0101 laika visu vasaru, katru sestdienu, liet\u016b vai saul\u0113 es stund\u0101m n\u012bku pie sarkan\u0101 \u0137ie\u0123e\u013cu m\u016bra. Tur m\u0113s cits ar citu pamaz\u0101m iepazin\u0101mies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

M\u016bs\u0113jo aiz v\u0101rtiem bija daudz, t\u0101tad otrpus v\u0101rtiem bija v\u0113l vair\u0101k, ne jau visi zin\u0101ja, kur pieder\u012bgos samekl\u0113t. T\u0101pat var\u0113ja gad\u012bties, ka visa \u0123imene apcietin\u0101ta un nav neviena, kas kaut ko atnestu. Diezgan bie\u017ei pienesumu nepie\u0146\u0113ma, jo apcietin\u0101t\u0101s personas tur vairs neesot. Kur ir, kas noticis? Aizcirta lodzi\u0146u bez paskaidrojuma, mekl\u0113, kur gribi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nekas nebija zin\u0101ms, cik ilgi m\u016bsu apg\u0101dnieci tur\u0113s cietum\u0101. Vecaim\u0101tei jau p\u0101ri par septi\u0146desmit, es v\u0113l nepilngad\u012bga, skola ar\u012b j\u0101pabeidz. Nol\u0113mu kaut ko uzs\u0101kt. Mums m\u0101j\u0101s bija \u012bstie svari ar visiem atsvariem, t\u0101tad svari nebija j\u0101\u012br\u0113. No r\u012btiem agri steidzos uz tirgu, tur lietuvie\u0161u zemnieki \u013coti labpr\u0101t grib\u0113ja visus atvestos produktus p\u0101rdot vairum\u0101. Bija zin\u0101ms, ka uzpirc\u0113jas, visu no r\u012bta nopirku\u0161as, dien\u0101 pie galdiem p\u0101rdeva par augst\u0101k\u0101m cen\u0101m. Ned\u0113\u013cas laik\u0101 sam\u0101c\u012bjos lietuvie\u0161u \u201ctirgus\u201d valodu, produktu nosaukumus un skait\u013cus. Valodu man iem\u0101c\u012bja lietuviete, ieprec\u0113jusies m\u016bsu rados.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

T\u0101 es k\u013cuvu par uzpirc\u0113ju – atkalp\u0101rdev\u0113ju. S\u0101kum\u0101 mani l\u012bdzek\u013ci bija smiekl\u012bgi, sal\u012bdzinot ar vecaj\u0101m uzpirc\u0113j\u0101m, t\u0101d\u0113\u013c var\u0113ju tirgoties tikai ar ol\u0101m. P\u0113c div\u0101m ned\u0113\u013c\u0101m man jau bija p\u0101rdo\u0161an\u0101 sviests, siers un lauku desas, bet, kad iekr\u0101j\u0101s kapit\u0101ls, tirgojos pat ar kaut\u0101m zos\u012bm. Es to dar\u012bju gan vajadz\u012bbas spiesta, gan ar lielu saj\u016bsmu!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lei\u0161u onku\u013ci bija \u013coti dev\u012bgi, vienm\u0113r uzmeta k\u0101du sviesta piku vai siera rituli pa virsu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Teik\u0161u atkl\u0101ti, t\u0101da tirgo\u0161an\u0101s bija viena varena lieta. Naudas pilnas kabatas, katru vakaru saskait\u012bju dienas pe\u013c\u0146u. Var\u0113ju pirkt visu, ko v\u0113l\u0113jos. Ruden\u012b, kaut ar\u012b skola bija s\u0101kusies, tirgu pamest vairs nevar\u0113ju. Ap septi\u0146iem no r\u012bta produktus iepirku, aiznesu preci uz m\u0101j\u0101m. Atn\u0101kusi no skolas, nesu visu atkal uz tirgu un l\u012bdz tirgus sl\u0113g\u0161anai pasp\u0113ju visu p\u0101rdot, jo pie manis labpr\u0101t pirk\u0101s: devu pareizu svaru un gl\u012bti iesai\u0146oju. Biju \u0123imenes apg\u0101dniece. Skolas z\u0113ni bija uzz\u012bm\u0113ju\u0161i karikat\u016bru: mani ar lielu grozu vien\u0101 rok\u0101 un zosi padus\u0113, bet es to \u013caun\u0101 ne\u0146emu, glu\u017ei otr\u0101di, biju par karikat\u016bru saj\u016bsm\u0101 un to v\u0113l ilgus gadus glab\u0101ju k\u0101 piemi\u0146u.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pien\u0101ca tiesas diena. Vec\u0101m\u0101te uz tiesu nen\u0101ca, g\u0101ju viena Tiesas z\u0101l\u0113 cilv\u0113ki zin\u0101ja viens otram pa\u010dukst\u0113t, ka tiesas pies\u0113d\u0113t\u0101ji esot gal\u012bgi aplam samekl\u0113ti, viens esot z\u0101rku tais\u012bt\u0101js, bet otrs kurpnieks. Varb\u016bt t\u0101 ar\u012b bija, jo izskats liecin\u0101ja par vist\u012br\u0101k\u0101s rases prolet\u0101rie\u0161iem. Tiesa notika krievu valod\u0101, jo tiesnesis bija krievs. Es toreiz krieviski sevi\u0161\u0137i daudz nesapratu, t\u0101d\u0113\u013c m\u0101j\u0101s maz ko var\u0113ju past\u0101st\u012bt, par ko \u012bsti m\u0101te aps\u016bdz\u0113ta.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Spriedum\u0101 bija teikts: \u201cPar kaitniec\u012bbu piespriesti septi\u0146padsmit gadi ieslodz\u012bjum\u0101.\u201d Man\u0101 pr\u0101t\u0101 iespied\u0101s skaitlis 17, toreiz tie\u0161i tik man bija gadu, t\u0101tad m\u0101ti atbr\u012bvos, kad man b\u016bs tr\u012bsdesmit \u010detri…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pirms aresta m\u0101te str\u0101d\u0101ja gatavo ap\u0123\u0113rbu veikal\u0101 par vad\u012bt\u0101ju. No izmekl\u0113\u0161anas materi\u0101liem bija redzams, ka m\u0101tes m\u0101j\u0101 krat\u012b\u0161an\u0101 neko neatrada, bet p\u0101rdev\u0113jas Zojas m\u0101j\u0101 gan atrada 24 no veikala pazudu\u0161\u0101s amerik\u0101\u0146u kleitas, ze\u0137es un v\u0113l citas mantas. Man palika neatminama m\u012bkla, k\u0101d\u0113\u013c mana m\u0101te atrad\u0101s uz aps\u016bdz\u0113to sola, nevis komjauniete Zoja, Liel\u0101 T\u0113vijas kara inval\u012bde ar vienu roku (otra kar\u0101 pazudusi). Zoja tika cauri ar\u012b bez tiesas. Pie vi\u0146as atrast\u0101s kleitas un citas mantas vienk\u0101r\u0161i vi\u0146ai at\u0146\u0113ma un nog\u0101d\u0101ja atpaka\u013c veikal\u0101.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kleitas n\u0101ca no Amerik\u0101 saziedotiem dr\u0113bju konteineriem, pal\u012bdz\u012bba kar\u0101 cietu\u0161ajiem, bet valsts to visu nodeva veikalos un p\u0101rdeva ne tikai par naudu, v\u0113l bija nepiecie\u0161ami speci\u0101li orderi, kurus sa\u0146\u0113ma krievu virsnieki ar \u0123imen\u0113m.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Es nebiju p\u0101rm\u0113r\u012bgi savai m\u0101tei pie\u0137\u0113rusies, man sirdij daudz tuv\u0101ka bija vec\u0101m\u0101te, bet es zin\u0101ju, ka m\u0101te bija pedantiski k\u0101rt\u012bga vis\u0101s liet\u0101s un ka krievu priek\u0161nieki vienk\u0101r\u0161i grib\u0113ja no vi\u0146as atbr\u012bvoties. Notika \u0123imenes apspriede. Taj\u0101 v\u0101rdu teica m\u0101tesbr\u0101lis.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vi\u0146\u0161 ap\u0146\u0113m\u0101s g\u0101d\u0101t par savu m\u0101ti, manu vecm\u0101mi\u0146u, bet man esot j\u0101brauc uz R\u012bgu pie t\u0113va, tur ar\u012b j\u0101pabeidz skola. Un visp\u0101r manam t\u0113vam esot pien\u0101kums par mani g\u0101d\u0101t, kam\u0113r es m\u0101cos.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u0100RMAI\u0145AS<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Zin\u0101ju, ka mans t\u0113vs ir pla\u0161a v\u0113riena cilv\u0113ks un ka nauda pataisa v\u012brieti par uzdz\u012bvot\u0101ju. Biju pie t\u0113va vair\u0101kas reizes ciemojusies un agri visu sapratusi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pie tur\u012bbas vi\u0146\u0161 tika pats ar sav\u0101m rok\u0101m, burtiski ne no k\u0101. S\u0101kums bija \u013coti b\u0113d\u012bgs. Kad t\u0113vam bija tikai \u010detrpadsmit gadu, vi\u0146am abi vec\u0101ki g\u0101ja tra\u0123iski boj\u0101. Tas notika uz laukiem. Vi\u0146a vec\u0101k\u0101 m\u0101sa, t\u0101pat k\u0101 daudzi citi tajos laikos, bija \u0161ausm\u012bgi skopa un mantk\u0101r\u012bga. Vi\u0146a viena pati piesavin\u0101j\u0101s lauku m\u0101jas ar visu dz\u012bvo un nedz\u012bvo invent\u0101ru. Br\u0101l\u012bti ar mazu sain\u012bti rok\u0101 vienk\u0101r\u0161i padzina pla\u0161\u0101 pasaul\u0113 pa\u0161am esot maize j\u0101pelna. Bet br\u0101lis ar\u012b neg\u0101ja vis kautkur gana vietu mekl\u0113t, k\u0101 m\u0101sa bija ieteikusi. N\u0113, vi\u0146\u0161 saimnieka d\u0113ls, neies citiem lopus gan\u012bt. Vi\u0146\u0161 brauca uz R\u012bgu, jo nebija no bail\u012bgajiem. G\u0101jis pa ielu un bijis \u013coti izsalcis, apst\u0101jies pie konditorejas loga un nav var\u0113jis beigt apj\u016bsmot log\u0101 salikt\u0101s k\u016bkas un tortes. Devies iek\u0161\u0101 un jaut\u0101jis, vai saimniekam nevajag pal\u012bga, vi\u0146\u0161 varot visu: gr\u012bdas sat\u012br\u012bt, kr\u0101snij malku saskald\u012bt, un miltu maisus ar\u012b varot pacelt, par darbu vi\u0146\u0161 naudu neprasot, bet k\u0101du k\u016bku gan grib\u0113\u0161ot. To visu man t\u0113vs reiz st\u0101st\u012bja. Sagad\u012bjies t\u0101, ka konditorejas \u012bpa\u0161niekam, Baltijas v\u0101cietim un vi\u0146a sievai t\u0101ds dro\u0161s z\u0113ns no laukiem \u013coti iepaticies, un manu t\u0113vu uz vietas pie\u0146\u0113ma par m\u0101cekli. K\u016bku “tehnolo\u0123iju “toreiz “stud\u0113ja” vair\u0101kus gadus, kam\u0113r pie\u0161\u0137\u012bra ze\u013c\u013ca diplomu. Ar t\u0101du diplomu kabat\u0101 var\u0113ja dab\u016bt labi atalgotu darbu lielos restor\u0101nos un konditorej\u0101s. Jaun\u012bb\u0101 t\u0113vs nav ne dz\u0113ris, ne sm\u0113\u0137\u0113jis, str\u0101d\u0101ja virsstundas un kr\u0101ja naudu. Tr\u012bsdesmit gadu vecum\u0101 vi\u0146am nauda bija vair\u0101k\u0101s bank\u0101s, ar\u012b uz aizdevumu procentiem pret vekse\u013ciem aizdota. Kad vi\u0146\u0161 iepazinies ar manu m\u0101ti, tad vi\u0146am jau bija tr\u012bsdesmit divi gadi, sava ceptuve, konditorejas veikals, pie vi\u0146a str\u0101d\u0101ja algoti cilv\u0113ki, un nauda bank\u0101s ar\u012b bija. M\u0101tei toreiz bijis devi\u0146padsmit gadu un vi\u0146a \u013coti \u0161aub\u012bjusies, bet vi\u0146\u0161 to ap\u017eilbin\u0101jis jau otraj\u0101 tik\u0161an\u0101s reiz\u0113 ar briljantu gredzenu, zelta pulksteni ar smaragdiem, un \u0161aubas izkl\u012bdu\u0161as. P\u0113c grezn\u0101m saderin\u0101\u0161an\u0101s svin\u012bb\u0101m vi\u0146i dr\u012bz salaul\u0101j\u0101s. Bet laikam t\u0101 ir, k\u0101 veca paties\u012bba saka: “Sirdi par zeltu nevar nopirkt.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nel\u012bdz\u0113ja ne Singera \u0161ujma\u0161\u012bna, ne d\u0101rg\u0101 vijole, ne du\u010diem kleitu, laul\u012bba izjuka p\u0113c \u010detriem gadiem, bet ofici\u0101li \u0161\u0137irti vi\u0146i nekad nav biju\u0161i.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pie t\u0113va ierados bez iepriek\u0161\u0113jas pazi\u0146o\u0161anas, jo t\u0101 bija dro\u0161\u0101k, ka var\u0113\u0161u palikt. T\u0113vs izskat\u012bj\u0101s p\u0101rsteigts, bet v\u0113l liel\u0101ku p\u0101rsteigumu sag\u0101d\u0101ju d\u0101mai, zili melniem, sprogainiem matiem. Es tak vi\u0146am nejaut\u0101ju, kas vi\u0146a un k\u0101d\u0101 sakar\u0101 tur atrad\u0101s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

K\u0101 pie nedarbiem pie\u0137erts skolas puika, t\u0113vs s\u0101ka taisnoties, ka vi\u0146a n\u0101kot pie vi\u0146a vingrin\u0101ties klaviersp\u0113l\u0113, jo, l\u016bk, vi\u0146ai neesot savas klavieres, un d\u0101ma steidz\u012bgi ros\u012bj\u0101s ap no\u0161u kaudzi. Da\u013cu pa\u0146\u0113musi, steidz\u012bgi atvad\u012bj\u0101s. Visp\u0101r klavieres t\u0113vs bija nopircis man, vien\u012bgi t\u0101s nekad netika nog\u0101d\u0101tas uz Liep\u0101ju, kara laiki, transporta sare\u017e\u0123\u012bjumi utt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Izst\u0101st\u012bju t\u0113vam par m\u0101tes apcietin\u0101\u0161anu, tiesu, visu p\u0101r\u0113jo un pateicu, ka tagad palik\u0161u pie vi\u0146a. Bi\u013ceti l\u012bdz R\u012bgai toreiz nopirkt var\u0113ja katrs, bet palikt R\u012bg\u0101 tom\u0113r bija krievu privil\u0113\u0123ija. Izr\u0101d\u012bj\u0101s, ka man, mies\u012bgai meitai, nebija ties\u012bbas pie t\u0113va pierakst\u012bties un dz\u012bvot. Kad bija izstaig\u0101ta namu p\u0101rvalde un milicija no viena gala l\u012bdz otram pa vair\u0101kiem l\u0101giem, tad biju uzzin\u0101jusi tikai tik daudz: ja es iest\u0101\u0161oties darb\u0101, tad R\u012bg\u0101 pierakst\u012b\u0161ot. Bet skola? K\u0101 lai pabeidzu skolu, ja t\u0101 man pirmaj\u0101 viet\u0101. B\u016b\u0161ot j\u0101iet vakarskol\u0101. T\u0101 tik v\u0113l tr\u016bka! Man ir apg\u0101dnieks. Biju sa\u0161utusi par t\u0101du netaisn\u012bbu, sve\u0161i krievi man nor\u0101d\u012bs, kur un k\u0101 man m\u0101c\u012bties. Kur tas v\u0113l redz\u0113ts, ka likum\u012bgu t\u0113vu nevar uzskat\u012bt par apg\u0101dnieku savai meitai, kam\u0113r t\u0101 m\u0101c\u0101s!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Un nepatik\u0161anas neizpalika.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tikai viena ned\u0113\u013ca bija pag\u0101jusi no iebrauk\u0161anas dienas, kad jau naktskontrole kl\u0101t. Tas bija s\u0113tnieks Erdmanis, kam niez\u0113ja k\u0101ju p\u0113das \u0101tr\u0101k aizskriet un pazi\u0146ot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Naudas sods nebija liels, toties draudi \u012bsti padomiski – pat ar cietumu piedraud\u0113ja. T\u0113vam bija labs draugs, atva\u013cin\u0101ts advok\u0101ts, kur\u0161 apsol\u012bj\u0101s mani iek\u0101rtot viegl\u0101 darb\u0101. Lai ejot dro\u0161i vakarskol\u0101, nekas slikt\u0101ks tur neesot un gan jau viss labi. Otr\u0101 dien\u0101 advok\u0101ts priec\u012bgs kl\u0101t. sarun\u0101jis man sekret\u0101res vietu LPSR Augst\u0101kaj\u0101 ties\u0101. “Ak \u0161ausmas!” iesaucos, “es un ties\u0101!” Dzirdot vien run\u0101jam par tiesu, man jau k\u0101j\u0101s st\u012bvums met\u0101s, kur nu v\u0113l par augst\u0101ko.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Vai tad tur visp\u0101r t\u0101dus tuvum\u0101 lai\u017e, kuri nav zv\u0113rin\u0101ti komjaunie\u0161i?” ind\u012bgi pavaic\u0101ju. Atbilde bija apm\u0113ram t\u0101da, ka \u0146emot katru, kura grib str\u0101d\u0101t, un ka krimin\u0101llietu tiesas kol\u0113\u0123ij\u0101 \u013coti vajadz\u012bga sekret\u0101re, jo n\u0101kot vesel\u0101m gr\u0113d\u0101m lietas ar kas\u0101cijas s\u016bdz\u012bb\u0101m no tautas ties\u0101m no visiem Latvijas rajoniem un t\u0101s visas j\u0101re\u0123istr\u0113 gr\u0101mat\u0101s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bez tam sekret\u0101re esot tie\u0161i \u0161odien vajadz\u012bga, rit var izr\u0101d\u012bties par v\u0113lu, un, l\u016bk, \u0161\u012b nu esot vien\u012bg\u0101 izdev\u012bba, k\u0101 tikt \u0101r\u0101 no apburt\u0101 loka. Citur t\u0101du pap\u012bru milicijai nekur es nedab\u016b\u0161ot, visur prasa pasi ar pierakst\u012b\u0161an\u0101s atz\u012bmi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tikm\u0113r man skaidroja, kam\u0113r piekritu. Ar gr\u016btu sirdi ierados Augst\u0101kaj\u0101 ties\u0101 pie krimin\u0101llietu tiesas kol\u0113\u0123ijas priek\u0161s\u0113d\u0113t\u0101ja A. Francma\u0146a. Izrun\u0101j\u0101mies, vi\u0146\u0161 man \u0161o to pajaut\u0101ja, ac\u012bmredzot manas atbildes vi\u0146u apmierin\u0101ja, un man lika uzrakst\u012bt autobiogr\u0101fiju. Nezin\u0101ju, k\u0101 t\u0101da j\u0101raksta, jo nekad v\u0113l nebiju rakst\u012bjusi. Par vec\u0101kiem esot j\u0101raksta. Uzrakst\u012bju par t\u0113vu un vecom\u0101ti, bet ka par m\u0101ti zi\u0146u nav, jo vi\u0146a dz\u012bvoja Jelgav\u0101, kuru kara laik\u0101 sabombard\u0113ja. Par darbiem v\u0101cu laik\u0101 nepiemin\u0113ju, jo kam var ien\u0101kt pr\u0101t\u0101, ka str\u0101d\u0101ju no \u010detrpadsmit gadiem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sa\u0146\u0113mu dokumentu, ka mani pie\u0146ems darb\u0101 LPSR Augst\u0101kaj\u0101 ties\u0101, tikko b\u016bs nok\u0101rtota pierakst\u012b\u0161an\u0101s. Bet ar visu glauno pap\u012bru nekas nesan\u0101ca, neesot pietiekamas plat\u012bbas, t\u0113vs kaut kad agr\u0101k pierakst\u012bjis pie sevis sava br\u0101\u013ca meitu ar diviem b\u0113rniem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Taj\u0101 laik\u0101 visos a\u0123itpunktos sp\u0113l\u0113ja krievu deju m\u016bziku, krievietes, ziemas laik\u0101 t\u0113rpu\u0161\u0101s pu\u0137ain\u0101s z\u012bda kleit\u0101s un puska\u017eokos, dr\u016bzm\u0113j\u0101s pie a\u0123itpunktu durv\u012bm, lai var\u0113tu izdejoties PSRS Augst\u0101k\u0101s Padomes v\u0113l\u0113\u0161an\u0101m par godu. Vi\u0146\u0101m nebija probl\u0113mu ar pierakst\u012b\u0161anos R\u012bg\u0101, vi\u0146as bija priec\u012bgas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Noraugoties uz privile\u0123\u0113to \u0161\u0137iru un apzinoties savu bezcer\u012bgo st\u0101vokli, g\u0101ju skum\u012bgi pa ielu. Sniga. Ap latern\u0101m sniega p\u0101rslas virpu\u013coja \u012bst\u0101 raibum\u0101. K\u0101da niec\u012bba ir t\u0101da sniegp\u0101rsli\u0146a, uzkr\u012bt uz rokas, izk\u016bst – un nav vairs. Vai es nebiju t\u0101da pati niec\u012bba?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

T\u0101 aizdom\u0101dam\u0101s g\u0101jusi pa ielas braucamo da\u013cu un no saviem sap\u0146iem atmodos, sa\u0146\u0113musi pamat\u012bgu belzienu pa s\u0101niem, tai pa\u0161\u0101 laik\u0101 blakus nokauca automobi\u013ca riepas: biju pakritusi. Laipni latvie\u0161i mani pac\u0113la, ies\u0113din\u0101ja automa\u0161\u012bn\u0101 un aizveda uz tuv\u0101ko a\u0123itpunktu VEF r\u016bpn\u012bc\u0101s tuvum\u0101. Tur ieveda k\u0101d\u0101 silt\u0101 biroja telp\u0101 un jaut\u0101ja, vai man kas noticis. Neatceros, vai no kauna vai izmisuma, bet s\u0101ku hist\u0113riski raud\u0101t. Ilgi nevar\u0113ju parun\u0101t, p\u0101r\u0101k smagi bija ap sirdi. Un visp\u0101r, kas man ko run\u0101t ar piln\u012bgi sve\u0161iem cilv\u0113kiem padomju a\u0123itpunkt\u0101! Man bija neuztic\u012bba pret t\u0101diem cilv\u0113kiem. Ledu salauza R\u012bgas vagonu r\u016bpn\u012bcas in\u017eenieris Lasmanis, vi\u0146\u0161 man par\u0101d\u012bja savu darba apliec\u012bbu un apgalvoja, ka man nekas slikts nenotiks, ka vi\u0146i no darba noz\u012bm\u0113ti a\u0123itpunkt\u0101 de\u017e\u016br\u0113t un ka varb\u016bt vi\u0146\u0161 man kaut k\u0101 var pal\u012bdz\u0113t, varb\u016bt aizvest uz m\u0101j\u0101m.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Labs cilv\u0113ks bija Lasmanis. P\u0113c ned\u0113\u013cas biju pierakst\u012bta in\u017eeniera Lasma\u0146a tr\u012bsistabu dz\u012bvokl\u012b, Pudi\u0137u iel\u0101 6 k\u0101 “radiniece”. Turpin\u0101ju str\u0101d\u0101t ties\u0101, g\u0101ju Rai\u0146a vakara vidusskol\u0101 un dz\u012bvoju pie t\u0113va. P\u0113c laici\u0146a atkal nakts kontrole kl\u0101t, nu jau lepni par\u0101d\u012bju pasi ar pierakstu, ar darba vietas z\u012bmogu. Un tom\u0113r, neskatoties uz to, nakt\u012b atrasties sava t\u0113va dz\u012bvokl\u012b nebija at\u013cauts. Man nakts vid\u016b pav\u0113l\u0113ja ap\u0123\u0113rbties un iet gul\u0113t tur, kur esmu pierakst\u012bta. Ko nu lai daru? Es tak neie\u0161u nakts vid\u016b uz sve\u0161a v\u012brie\u0161a dz\u012bvokli!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Janv\u0101ra nakt\u012b uz ielas, pamat\u012bga sala laik\u0101, nebija neviena g\u0101j\u0113ja. Dom\u0101ju, apie\u0161u k\u0101du kvart\u0101lu un atgriez\u012b\u0161os jau iesild\u012bt\u0101 gult\u0101. Bet mili\u010di, laikam manu nodomu sapratu\u0161i, s\u0113d\u0113ja ma\u0161\u012bn\u0101 pie m\u0101jas st\u016bra. Bija j\u0101m\u0113ro garais ce\u013c\u0161 uz Pudi\u0137u Tur p\u0101rlaidu nakti aukst\u0101 k\u0101p\u0146u telp\u0101. No sala nebija kur tverties, uz cementa k\u0101pn\u0113m s\u0113d\u0113t nebija iesp\u0113jams, bija j\u0101st\u0101v k\u0101j\u0101s. Bez tam bija j\u0101baid\u0101s, lai k\u0101ds mani nepamana, kur tad no kauna acis likt, ko teikt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nakts \u0161\u0137ita viena no gar\u0101kaj\u0101m man\u0101 m\u016b\u017e\u0101, ar\u012b visaukst\u0101k\u0101. Bez tam no p\u0101rsal\u0161anas veselu ned\u0113\u013cu nopietni slimoju. God\u012bgi sakot, pie t\u0113va nek\u0101da parad\u012bze nebija, vien\u012bg\u0101 v\u0113rt\u012bba, ka uz darbu bija j\u0101iet piecas min\u016btes, turpat blakus Rai\u0146a vakarskola. Ja t\u0113vam viesu nebija, dz\u012bve rit\u0113ja norm\u0101li, var\u0113ju m\u0101c\u012bties pie liel\u0101 galda un laikus likties gul\u0113t. Cita lieta, kad san\u0101ca draugi. T\u0101d\u0101s reiz\u0113s sav\u0101cu burtn\u012bcas un iek\u0101rtojos vannas istab\u0101. Tur ieliku vann\u0101 a\u010dg\u0101rni spaini, uz kura s\u0113d\u0113t, un d\u0113li, uz kura var\u0113ju rakst\u012bt visu, ko vajadz\u0113ja. Pilns komforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ties\u0101 darbs izr\u0101d\u012bj\u0101s \u013coti interesants, jo tur uzzin\u0101ju daudz ko t\u0101du, ko cit\u0101di neb\u016btu zin\u0101jusi. Toreiz av\u012bz\u0113s nerakst\u012bja, k\u0101di krimin\u0101lnoziegumi Latvij\u0101 notiek. Lai tauta dom\u0101, ka nekas nenotiek. Pirmk\u0101rt, zin\u0101ju, k\u0101da publika no pla\u0161\u0101s dzimtenes liel\u0101 skait\u0101 p\u0101rvietoj\u0101s uz m\u016bsu mazo zem\u012bti. T\u0101di “di\u017ecilt\u012bgi” vien; ar tr\u012bs \u010detriem v\u0101rdiem, uzv\u0101rdiem, t\u0113va v\u0101rdiem, ar\u012b dzim\u0161anas dati t\u0101d\u0101m person\u0101m da\u017e\u0101di, ar katru apcietin\u0101\u0161anas reizi vi\u0146i k\u013cuva jaun\u0101ki un jaun\u0101ki, pusm\u016b\u017ea gadus sasniegu\u0161i, t\u0101di v\u0113l nemaz neb\u016btu dzimu\u0161i.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Un cik daudz sod\u0101m\u012bbu \u012bs\u0101 pag\u0101tn\u0113! Starp katru slaven\u0101s personas uzv\u0101rdu iestarpin\u0101ts “on \u017ee”. Un k\u0101d\u0101s tik pils\u0113t\u0101s pabiju\u0161i, taisni skaud\u012bba rad\u0101s! Tad p\u0113d\u0113jais ce\u013ca m\u0113r\u0137is – Latvija, jauns, neapg\u016bts darba lauks zag\u0161anai, laup\u012b\u0161anai, vardarb\u012bb\u0101m. Liep\u0101j\u0101 agr\u0101s r\u012bta stund\u0101s darba cilv\u0113kiem no pasl\u0113ptuves aiz \u017eoga bija metu\u0161i virs\u016b laso k\u0101 kovboji te\u013ciem. Str\u0101dniekus iz\u0123\u0113rbu\u0161i, at\u0146\u0113mu\u0161i pulkste\u0146us. Zag\u0161anas pants taj\u0101 laik\u0101 guva visliel\u0101ko popularit\u0101ti, bet atgad\u012bj\u0101s ar\u012b \u0161ausmino\u0161as slepkav\u012bbas. Pa retam k\u0101da uzjautrino\u0161a lieta. Vienu t\u0101du, pavisam smiekl\u012bgu, v\u0113l tagad atceros.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pavec\u0101ka lauku sieva ies\u016bdz\u0113ja ties\u0101 sava d\u0113la draugu par izvaro\u0161anu. Puisis ties\u0101 paskaidrojis, ka vi\u0146am ar drauga m\u0101ti jau sen esot m\u012blas sakari, tikai pa\u0161\u0101 p\u0113d\u0113j\u0101 reiz\u0113, kad m\u012bl\u0113ju\u0161ies \u0101be\u013cu d\u0101rz\u0101, kaimi\u0146i, iedami gar \u017eogu, \u0161os redz\u0113ju\u0161i un izsm\u0113ju\u0161i. Rajona tautas ties\u0101 puisim piespriedu\u0161i veselu gadu ieslodz\u012bjuma, bet Augst\u0101k\u0101 tiesa \u0161o attaisnoja.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sa\u0146\u0113musi pirmo algu, izg\u0101ju uz ielas ar nol\u016bku nopirkt sald\u0113jumu. Pie kioska sarad\u0101s vair\u0101ki jauni krievi. Par nosv\u0113rto sald\u0113jumu man nebija ar ko samaks\u0101t, jo maci\u0146\u0161 ar visu algu no manas kabatas bija p\u0101rce\u013cojis uz k\u0101du citu, sve\u0161u kabatu. St\u0101v\u0113ju apjukusi. Krievi, par mani pamat\u012bgi izsm\u0113ju\u0161ies, aizg\u0101ja. Milicijas tuvum\u0101 nebija, kam s\u016bdz\u0113sies? G\u0101ju atpaka\u013c piere\u0123istr\u0113t lielo kaudzi ar ien\u0101ku\u0161aj\u0101m kas\u0101ciju liet\u0101m. Varb\u016bt citu reizi mana maci\u0146a zag\u013ca lieta ar\u012b non\u0101ks man\u0101s rok\u0101s ar visiem v\u0101rdiem un uzv\u0101rdiem. Varb\u016bt jau esmu pierakst\u012bjusi t\u0101 zag\u013ca v\u0101rdu, kur\u0161 man reiz tirg\u016b nozaga rokassomi\u0146u. Bet dro\u0161i zin\u0101ju, ka tie, kuri man 1945. gada 9. maij\u0101 at\u0146\u0113ma akordeonu un v\u0113l daudz ko, nekad netiks sod\u012bti, jo tie bija m\u016bsu “atbr\u012bvot\u0101ji”. Vi\u0146iem ofici\u0101li Liep\u0101j\u0101 bija at\u013cauts laup\u012bt tr\u012bs diennaktis uz velna parau\u0161anu, un \u0161\u012bs privil\u0113\u0123ijas vi\u0146i izmantoja ar uzviju un lielu saj\u016bsmu. Likuma v\u0101rd\u0101 pav\u0113l\u0113ja atsl\u0113gt durvis, likuma v\u0101rd\u0101 ar iero\u010diem rok\u0101 laup\u012bja, varoja un \u0146irg\u0101j\u0101s, par veciem un slimiem latvie\u0161u cilv\u0113kiem, bet run\u0101t ska\u013ci par \u0161im liet\u0101m bija noziegums, par to var\u0113ja tikt cietum\u0101 ar pantu “Par pretpadomju a\u0123it\u0101ciju” uz 10 gadiem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nebiju ilgi ties\u0101 str\u0101d\u0101jusi, kad tiesnesis Gai\u0161puitis s\u0101ka mani apgr\u016btin\u0101t ar sarun\u0101m par komjaunatnes lielo noz\u012bmi, priek\u0161roc\u012bb\u0101m, lietder\u012bbu. Man tas esot sevi\u0161\u0137i svar\u012bgi, jo p\u0113c skolas beig\u0161anas bez komjaunatnes biedra kartes es nekur t\u0101lu netik\u0161ot. Vi\u0146\u0161 bija mans labv\u0113lis un ne\u017e\u0113loja laiku un p\u016bles, lai mani p\u0101rliecin\u0101tu. Vai tad es nemaz negribot tais\u012bt labu karjeru? Vi\u0146\u0161 man do\u0161ot vislab\u0101ko raksturojumu uz juridisko fakult\u0101ti. Protams, Gai\u0161puitis b\u016btu v\u0101rdu tur\u0113jis, ja vien es b\u016btu izjutusi simp\u0101tijas pret komjaunatni un piekritusi vi\u0146a padomiem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bet tiesnesis Gai\u0161puitis nebija inform\u0113ts par to, kas es biju. Ja vi\u0146\u0161 to b\u016btu zin\u0101jis, nekad neb\u016btu ar mani sarunas uzs\u0101cis. Vi\u0146\u0161 nezin\u0101ja, ka es visu, visu zin\u0101ju par komunistu “pakalpojumiem” m\u016bsu tautai baigaj\u0101 gad\u0101. Vi\u0146\u0161 nezin\u0101ja, ka gr\u0101matu “Ein Jahr des Grauens” zin\u0101ju no galvas, jo taj\u0101 gr\u0101mat\u0101 bija apkopoti fakti par \u010dekista \u0160ustina u.c. zv\u0113r\u012bb\u0101m un dokument\u0101lie fotouz\u0146\u0113mumi ar izkrop\u013cotiem l\u012b\u0137iem: \u0123ener\u0101\u013ca Goppera, Latvijas Izgl\u012bt\u012bbas departamenta direktora Arnolda \u010cuibes un daudzu citu… J\u0101, ac\u012bmredzot tiesnesis Gai\u0161puitis iedom\u0101j\u0101s, ka vi\u0146am ir dar\u012b\u0161ana ar jaunu, dumju meiteni un nenojauta, ka sarun\u0101j\u0101s ar politisku ienaidnieci – p\u0101rliecin\u0101tu antikomunisti, kuras m\u0101te s\u0113\u017e cietum\u0101, bet m\u0101tesbr\u0101lis aizvests 41. gad\u0101 kop\u0101 ar ledlau\u017ea Kr. Valdem\u0101ra apkalpi un \u013be\u0146ingrad\u0101 no\u0161auts, jo bija Latvijas j\u016bras aizsargs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ar savu otro nopeln\u012bto algu aizg\u0101ju uz Centr\u0101lo univers\u0101lveikalu, lai nopirktu sev ko praktisku, bet atkal nepaveic\u0101s t\u012bri romantiskas sagad\u012b\u0161an\u0101s d\u0113\u013c. Veikala otraj\u0101 st\u0101v\u0101 man ce\u013c\u0101 nost\u0101j\u0101s jauns cilv\u0113ks un jaut\u0101ja: “K\u0101 j\u016bs dom\u0101jat, vai man \u0161\u0101ds krekls piest\u0101v\u0113s?” “Dom\u0101ju, ka ne,” es p\u0101rliecino\u0161i atbild\u0113ju. Vi\u0146am rok\u0101 bija roz\u012bgs krekls caursp\u012bd\u012bg\u0101 iesai\u0146ojum\u0101.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cik gan jaun\u012bb\u0101 da\u017ek\u0101rt vienk\u0101r\u0161i var iepaz\u012bties! Jauneklis pal\u016bdza, lai es par\u0101dot, k\u0101ds krekls piest\u0101v\u0113s. Es nor\u0101d\u012bju uz balto ar s\u012bkiem, ziliem punkti\u0146iem. Vi\u0146i bija divat\u0101, tas otrsbija attur\u012bg\u0101ks un ar\u012b daudz izskat\u012bg\u0101ks par pirmo. Kreklus tom\u0113r abi nopirka p\u0113c manas gaumes. Pateiku\u0161ies par padomu, abi st\u0101d\u012bj\u0101s priek\u0161\u0101. Pirmais bija D\u017eons (bet ne J\u0101nis) Vesmanis, otrs – kapteinis (priek\u0161v\u0101rdu neatceros, jo nekad vairs nesatiku). J\u0101saka gan, ka tik elegantus jaunus kungus man nekad agr\u0101k dz\u012bv\u0113 nebija gad\u012bjies sastapt. T\u0101di tikai \u0101rzemju film\u0101s bija redz\u0113ti. Visi cilv\u0113ki veikal\u0101 vi\u0146us pavad\u012bja ar izbr\u012bnas pilniem skatiem, bet es dr\u012bkst\u0113ju ar vi\u0146iem kop\u0101 staig\u0101t un sarun\u0101ties. Man gan ar\u012b galv\u0101 bija \u013coti mod\u012bga cepure; plat\u0101m mal\u0101m un mugur\u0101 diezgan labs m\u0113telis ar ka\u017eok\u0101das apkakli un kabat\u0101m. Ar vi\u0146iem kop\u0101 staig\u0101jot, jutu, ka man\u012b briest pa\u0161apzi\u0146a. Nebijusi D\u017eonim elegant\u0101, meln\u0101 platmale ar uzrull\u0113t\u0101m mal\u0101m un melnais viz\u012btm\u0113telis, varb\u016bt m\u016bsu paz\u012b\u0161an\u0101s turpat pie veikala izejas b\u016btu izgaisusi. Nek\u0101ds Apollons vi\u0146\u0161 nebija, s\u012bka auguma, blonds, balt\u0101m \u016bs\u0101m un vistiev\u0101ko kaklu pasaul\u0113. Bet tur bija kas cits: smalka uzved\u012bba, pat\u012bkama valoda, erud\u012bts, dz\u012bvs sarunu biedrs, ar t\u0101du nekad nav garlaic\u012bgi. P\u0113c br\u012b\u017ea jut\u0101mies k\u0101 veci pazi\u0146as un pie veikala izejas apmain\u012bj\u0101mies ar telefonu numuriem. Cik labi, ka manam t\u0113vam bija telefons! T\u0101 negaidot \u0101tri tiku pie drauga. Uzzin\u0101ju, ka D\u017eons beidzis fran\u010du liceju un str\u0101d\u0101 Komponistu savien\u012bb\u0101. M\u0113s satik\u0101mies pa sv\u0113tdien\u0101m, citreiz sestdienas vakaros. Stund\u0101m klai\u0146oj\u0101m pa pils\u0113tas parkiem, p\u0113c pastaig\u0101m D\u017eons aicin\u0101ja uz restor\u0101nu. Reiz, n\u0101kot no restor\u0101na, es D\u017eonam tie\u0161i, bez aplinkiem nopras\u012bju: “K\u0101d\u0113\u013c tev tie \u0161veicari un viesm\u012b\u013ci t\u0101 klan\u0101s, kas tu esi?” Nu j\u0101, pirmk\u0101rt gan naudas d\u0113\u013c. Bet taj\u0101 vakar\u0101 es uzzin\u0101ju daudz vair\u0101k, proti, D\u017eons Vesmanis bija Augusta Kirhen\u0161teina m\u0101sasd\u0113ls un vi\u0146a vec\u0101kiem agr\u0101k pieder\u0113jusi skaist\u0101 m\u0101ja ar zilaj\u0101m fl\u012bz\u012bt\u0113m aug\u0161st\u0101v\u0101 Elizabetes iel\u0101. M\u0101j\u0101, t\u0101pat k\u0101 visiem, nacionaliz\u0113ta, bet dz\u012bvoklis ar vis\u0101m v\u0113rt\u012bb\u0101m Kirhen\u0161teina m\u0101sai atst\u0101ts – ne t\u0101 k\u0101 visiem citiem, un vi\u0146a pati ar\u012b nekur nav aizvesta. Tik daudz Kirhen\u0161teins pratis par\u016bp\u0113ties par saviem pieder\u012bgiem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pirmaj\u0101 br\u012bd\u012b, uzzinot, ka D\u017eons ir tik tuv\u0101 radniec\u012bb\u0101 ar Kirhen\u0161teinu, jutos \u0161ok\u0113ta, bet, no otras puses, nov\u0113rt\u0113jot D\u017eona god\u012bgo un atkl\u0101to attieksmi pret mani, samierin\u0101jos, un m\u016bsu draudz\u012bba turpin\u0101j\u0101s. Visp\u0101r \u0146emot, D\u017eons t\u0101ds \u0161vauksts mazliet bija, jo restor\u0101nos m\u012bl\u0113ja ar mani t\u0113rz\u0113t ang\u013cu un v\u0101cu valod\u0101, pie reizes pam\u0101c\u012bja man da\u017eus fran\u010du izteicienus. T\u0101 ieguvu pirm\u0101s iema\u0146as fran\u010du valod\u0101. Mums bija viegli un labi. D\u017eons labpr\u0101t st\u0101st\u012bja par Kirhen\u0161teina priv\u0101to dz\u012bvi. Kirhen\u0161teina m\u012b\u013c\u0101k\u0101 dziesma bijusi “P\u016bt, v\u0113ji\u0146i!”. Es nekad neg\u0101ju pie D\u017eona vi\u0146a greznaj\u0101 m\u0101j\u0101. T\u0101pat D\u017eons nekad nebija man\u0101 m\u0101j\u0101, ko vi\u0146am tur dar\u012bt? Da\u017eus gadus v\u0113l\u0101k, satikusi D\u017eoni uz ielas, dab\u016bju dzird\u0113t p\u0101rmetumus: “M\u0113s t\u0101 cer\u0113j\u0101mies un cer\u0113j\u0101mies, bet tu, man ne v\u0101rda neteikusi, pa\u0146\u0113mi un apprec\u0113jies ar kaut k\u0101du m\u0101lderi.” J\u0101, man nebija ko teikt, tikai v\u0101rdu “m\u0101lderi” izl\u012bdzin\u0101ju ar “gleznot\u0101ju”. Un es nekad nebiju dom\u0101jusi tuv\u0101k saist\u012bties ar D\u017eonu. Tas viss bija tikai laika kav\u0113\u0161anas nol\u016bk\u0101.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ties\u0101 biju nostr\u0101d\u0101jusi septi\u0146us m\u0113ne\u0161us un, kas to lai zin, cik ilgi v\u0113l b\u016btu tur palikusi, jo alga bija smiekl\u012bgi maza. Bet vienu r\u012btu priek\u0161s\u0113d\u0113t\u0101js Francmanis mani iesauca sav\u0101 kabinet\u0101. Vi\u0146am priek\u0161\u0101 uz galda manas m\u0101tes lieta, atce\u013cojusi no Liep\u0101jas tautas tiesas, ar kas\u0101cijas s\u016bdz\u012bbu. Bez ievada Francmanis, nor\u0101dot uz lietu, pajaut\u0101ja, vai t\u0101 ir mana m\u0101te. Jutos k\u0101 slazdi\u0146os iekritusi, tad atbild\u0113ju: “J\u0101, t\u0101 ir mana m\u0101te.” T\u0101l\u0101k sekoja paskaidrojums, ka p\u0113c noteikumiem, ja k\u0101ds no \u0123imenes locek\u013ciem atrodas apcietin\u0101jum\u0101, nedr\u012bkst str\u0101d\u0101t Augst\u0101kaj\u0101 ties\u0101. Lai es turpat uz vietas rakstot atl\u016bgumu “Atbr\u012bvot no darba Augst\u0101kaj\u0101 ties\u0101 uz person\u012bgo v\u0113l\u0113\u0161anos”. Visu sapratu un iesniegumu uzrakst\u012bju. V\u0113l Francmanis paskaidroja, ka t\u0101 man turpm\u0101k b\u016bs viegl\u0101k citur dab\u016bt darbu: Atkl\u0101ti sakot, sevi\u0161\u0137i noskumusi par t\u0101du izn\u0101kumu nebiju; jo neuzskat\u012bju par goda lietu ties\u0101 str\u0101d\u0101t, vien\u012bgais prieks bija zin\u0101t, cik liel\u0101 skait\u0101 peln\u012btu sodu sa\u0146\u0113mu\u0161i “viesizr\u0101\u017eu” zag\u013ci un laup\u012bt\u0101ji. Protams, nek\u0101du statistiku es nepierakst\u012bju, bet vajadz\u0113ja gan, tad redz\u0113tu, cik m\u0113nesi par zag\u0161anu noties\u0101ja krievus un cik latvie\u0161us Tad ar\u012b redz\u0113tu; k\u0101 v\u0113l\u0101k zag\u013ci pavairoj\u0101s Latvij\u0101.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Par visiem septi\u0146iem m\u0113ne\u0161iem atceros tikai da\u017eas lietas ar latvie\u0161u uzv\u0101rdiem ar zag\u0161anas pantu, bet ar\u012b t\u0101s, p\u0113c mana pr\u0101ta, aiz t\u012bras \u013caunpr\u0101t\u012bbas safabric\u0113tas, jo nozagt\u0101s mantas v\u0113rt\u012bba bija p\u0101r\u0101k niec\u012bga, lai par to s\u0113din\u0101tu cietum\u0101. T\u0101, piem\u0113ram, sieviete, \u010detru b\u0113rnu m\u0101te, fabrik\u0101 bija nozagusi se\u0161as spol\u012btes \u0161ujam\u0101 diega. Bet pants – “Valsts \u012bpa\u0161uma izlaup\u012b\u0161ana” un \u010detri gadi ieslodz\u012bjum\u0101 par to j\u0101pavada! Gad\u012bj\u0101s ar\u012b, ka Augst\u0101k\u0101 tiesa vair\u0101kus l\u012bdz\u012bgus spriedumus atc\u0113la. T\u0101dos gad\u012bjumos es ar saj\u016bsmu steidzos nos\u016bt\u012bt tiesas l\u0113mumus uz tiem cietumiem, kur ieslodz\u012btie atrad\u0101s. T\u0101s bija pat\u012bkamas dienas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ties\u0101 bija vienas durvis, kuras m\u016b\u017e\u012bgi tur\u0113ja aizsl\u0113gtas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

T\u0101s bija “specda\u013cas” durvis gaite\u0146a pa\u0161\u0101 gal\u0101, kuras apsarg\u0101 “\u013caun\u0101 \u010d\u016bska”, specda\u013cas sekret\u0101re Bavadu\u013cina. Vi\u0146as izskats jau pa gabalu dvesa \u013caunumu un naidu. Katru reizi, ieraugot Bavadu\u013cinu, sajutu vi\u0146as dz\u0113l\u012bgo, caururbjo\u0161o melno acu skatienu. \u0160\u0137ita, ka vi\u0146a ar lielu prieku sarautu mani gabalu gabalos vai pieliktu pie sienas un no\u0161autu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tak jau \u010deka zin\u0101ja, kam var uztic\u0113t simtiem nevain\u012bgu cilv\u0113ku dokumentu glab\u0101\u0161anu. Man\u0101 laik\u0101, laim\u012bg\u0101 k\u0101rt\u0101, nevienu par vi\u0146a politisko p\u0101rliec\u012bbu neties\u0101ja, cit\u0101di nevar\u0113ja zin\u0101t, k\u0101 b\u016btu bijis, jo bez koment\u0101riem dro\u0161i neb\u016btu iztikusi. Toreiz kara tribun\u0101ls nodarboj\u0101s ar latvie\u0161u cilv\u0113ku likte\u0146iem, lai p\u0113c iesp\u0113jas vair\u0101k latvie\u0161u nolemtu izn\u012bc\u012bbai. Iznicin\u0101to latvie\u0161u viet\u0101 palika Krievijas zag\u013ci, jo, nos\u0113d\u0113ju\u0161i vienu vai divus gadus Latvijas soda viet\u0101s, vi\u0146i nekur prom nebrauca.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

ATKALREDZ\u0112\u0160AN\u0100S<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

P\u0113c kas\u0101cijas s\u016bdz\u012bbas noraid\u012bjuma mana m\u0101te no Liep\u0101jas cietuma bija p\u0101rvesta uz stingr\u0101 re\u017e\u012bma labo\u0161anas darbu nometni R\u012bg\u0101, Vecm\u012blgr\u0101v\u012b, biju\u0161aj\u0101 Provod\u0146ika r\u016bpn\u012bc\u0101. Es, protams, to nezin\u0101ju, padomju sist\u0113m\u0101 b\u0113rniem nav j\u0101zin, kur vi\u0146u vec\u0101ki un otr\u0101di.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u0113c p\u0101ris m\u0113ne\u0161iem sa\u0146\u0113mu zi\u0146u no vec\u0101sm\u0101tes, lai es ejot m\u0101ti uzmekl\u0113t R\u012bgas ortop\u0113diskaj\u0101 slimn\u012bc\u0101 Duntesiel\u0101.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nopirku v\u012bnogas un ziedus, braucu mekl\u0113t. Atradu. Gu\u013c gult\u0101 viena, atsevi\u0161\u0137\u0101 istab\u0101, un pie durv\u012bm st\u0101v zald\u0101ts ar \u0161auteni plec\u0101 – k\u0101 godasardz\u0113. Ieeju pal\u0101t\u0101, nolieku ogas un ziedus uz naktsskap\u012b\u0161\u0101, saku: “Labdien, mamma.” Vi\u0146a t\u0101 sav\u0101di uz mani paskat\u0101s un saka: “Ejiet prom, es j\u016bs nepaz\u012bstu.” “K\u0101 t\u0101?” es, pagalam apjukusi, br\u012bnos. “M\u0113s esam sve\u0161nieces, vai j\u016bs to saprotat?” N\u0113, to es nevar\u0113ju saprast, bet apgriezos un g\u0101ju, jo p\u0113d\u0113jais teikums izklaus\u012bj\u0101s k\u0101 pav\u0113le. Ogas un ziedi palika turpat. Es skrie\u0161us noskr\u0113ju pa trep\u0113m lej\u0101 un tur uz sola sa\u013cimu. Tas man bija par daudz. Asaru piln\u0101m ac\u012bm l\u016bkojos gr\u012bd\u0101 un pat sakar\u012bgi dom\u0101t nevar\u0113ju. Ko tas viss noz\u012bm\u0113? Par cietumsargu pie durv\u012bm viss skaidrs, jo uz slimn\u012bcu atvesta no cietuma. Varb\u016bt p\u0113c reglamenta nav br\u012bv cietumniekus slimn\u012bc\u0101 apmekl\u0113t, bet tad sargs man b\u016btu nost\u0101jies ce\u013c\u0101 un neb\u016btu laidis.Varb\u016bt aizmirsa? B\u016btu var\u0113jusi man kaut ko vair\u0101k paskaidrot. No t\u0101diem strupiem teikumiem es nezin\u0101ju, k\u0101 tagad r\u012bkoties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u0113c \u012bsa br\u012b\u017ea skrien lej\u0101 medm\u0101si\u0146a, steidz\u0101s pie manis un ar\u012b raud. Vi\u0146a raud\u0101dama man krievu valod\u0101 st\u0101sta, ka mana m\u0101te turot manis atnestos ziedus rok\u0101 un raudot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vi\u0146ai esot smagi p\u0101rdz\u012bvojumi, un vi\u0146a pal\u016bgusi m\u0101si\u0146u m\u0113\u0123in\u0101t mani pan\u0101kt un atvest atpaka\u013c. Es savuk\u0101rt teicu, lai pasaka slimniecei, ka esmu jau prom, bet ka dr\u012bz vien atkal atn\u0101k\u0161u. “T\u0101 b\u016bs lab\u0101k, b\u016bs maz\u0101k uztraukumu, jo es j\u016btu, ka \u0161odien neb\u016b\u0161u sp\u0113j\u012bga run\u0101t – esmu p\u0101r\u0101k satraukta.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Kas j\u016bs slimniecei esat?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Meita.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Meita? Bet vi\u0146a teica, ka vi\u0146ai neesot neviena tuvinieka, iz\u0146emot vecu m\u0101ti Liep\u0101j\u0101.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Nu tas laikam t\u0101d\u0113\u013c, lai nekait\u0113tu manai izgl\u012bt\u012bbas ieg\u016b\u0161anai un visp\u0101r manai n\u0101kotnei, jo vi\u0146a tak ir cietumniece, k\u0101 j\u016bs visi to jau zin\u0101t.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“J\u0101, tagad es saprotu: m\u0101tei j\u0101atsak\u0101s. no meitas, lai vi\u0146ai nekait\u0113tu, ir gan laiki, smagi laiki.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Un t\u0101 run\u0101 krieviete, m\u016bsu zemes okupante. Es t\u0101l\u0101k debat\u0113s neielaidos. Pateicos par sarunu un g\u0101ju savu ce\u013cu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

N\u0101ko\u0161aj\u0101 apmekl\u0113juma reiz\u0113 m\u0113s nedaudz parun\u0101j\u0101m, tikai trauc\u0113ja cietumsargs pie durv\u012bm. Lik\u0101s gan, ka vi\u0146\u0161 latviski neko nesaprot. Es m\u0101tei jaut\u0101ju, kas vi\u0146ai noticis, k\u0101d\u0113\u013c vi\u0146a atrodas slimn\u012bc\u0101, bet velt\u012bgi, m\u0101te nev\u0113l\u0113j\u0101s par to run\u0101t. Vien\u012bgi pateica, ka ar k\u0101j\u0101m neesot labi. K\u0101d\u0101 n\u0101ko\u0161aj\u0101 apciemojum\u0101 redz\u0113ju, ka m\u0101te. l\u012bdz pat padus\u0113m ir \u0123ips\u012b. Sega bija nosl\u012bd\u0113jusi. Visp\u0101r par sevi m\u0101te run\u0101ja maz un attur\u012bgi, vair\u0101k vi\u0146a grib\u0113ja, lai es st\u0101stu. Da\u017ereiz se\u0161i v\u012bri, nesot slimnieci no rentgena caurskates, atst\u0101ja vi\u0146u uzk\u0101du stundu saul\u012bt\u0113, turpat d\u0101rz\u0101. Saule \u0123ipsi sasild\u012bja, un m\u0101tei tas \u013coti n\u0101ca par labu. Ta\u010du ar\u012b t\u0101d\u0101s reiz\u0113s cietumsargs st\u0101v\u0113ja turpat blakus, d\u0101rz\u0101, lai neaizb\u0113g. J\u0101smejas!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vasara pag\u0101ja, divas reizes ned\u0113\u013c\u0101 braucot uz Duntes ielu. Ruden\u012b, skolas laik\u0101, braucu tikai pa sv\u0113tdien\u0101m.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vienu vien\u012bgu ned\u0113\u013cu vasar\u0101 biju izlaidusi, kad aizbraucu uz Alsungu. Grib\u0113ju apciemot draudzeni, vi\u0146as m\u0101tei pieder\u0113ja neliela, jauncelta lauku m\u0101ja un saimniec\u012bba.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tur tikai b\u0113du zi\u0146as dzird\u0113ju: lopi\u0146i at\u0146emti, m\u0101jas krievi izlaup\u012bju\u0161i, draudzenes koptais tr\u012bsgad\u012bgais, skaistais pel\u0113kais zirdzi\u0146\u0161 ar\u012b rekviz\u0113ts. Atgriezos m\u0101j\u0101s gal\u012bgi satriekta. Biju dom\u0101jusi: pils\u0113t\u0101 zog, izr\u0101d\u012bj\u0101s, ka uz laukiem v\u0113l trak\u0101k.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pien\u0101ca atkal vasara, m\u0101te joproj\u0101m gul\u0113ja slimn\u012bc\u0101. No sarun\u0101m nopratu, ka p\u0113c ned\u0113\u013cas vai div\u0101m \u0123ipsi \u0146em\u0161ot nost un m\u0101ti no slimn\u012bcas izrakst\u012b\u0161ot. T\u0101s bija labas zi\u0146as. N\u0101ko\u0161aj\u0101 sv\u0113tdien\u0101 dom\u0101ju, ka eju uz slimn\u012bcu p\u0113d\u0113jo reizi. M\u0101ti, noda\u013c\u0101 neatradu. Kas noticis? B\u016bs aizvesta atpaka\u013c uz cietumu? G\u0101ju noskaidrot. Sa\u0146\u0113mu atbildi, ka aiznesta uz citu noda\u013cu. Jutos v\u012blusies un satraukta. Kas noticis? Neviens neko nepaskaidroja. Samekl\u0113ju m\u0101ti un tikko neiekliedzos. Tik b\u0101lu es vi\u0146u nekad nebiju redz\u0113jusi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gul\u0113ja gult\u0101 puspiev\u0113rt\u0101m ac\u012bm, un izskat\u012bj\u0101s, ka \u013coti cie\u0161. L\u0113n\u0101m uz pirkstgaliem tuvojos. Jaut\u0101ju, kas noticis. Pavisam klus\u0101 balsi m\u0101te pateica, ka pirms trim dien\u0101m esot p\u0101rcietusi oper\u0101ciju, bet ka tagad viss b\u016b\u0161ot labi. Negrib\u0113ju vi\u0146u nogurdin\u0101t ar jaut\u0101jumiem, jo redz\u0113ju, ka vi\u0146ai run\u0101\u0161ana sag\u0101d\u0101 mokas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Visu paties\u012bbu uzzin\u0101ju p\u0101ris ned\u0113\u013cas v\u0113l\u0101k. L\u016bk, ko man past\u0101st\u012bja slimn\u012bcas d\u0101rz\u0101 nejau\u0161i sastapta slimniece: “Es j\u016bsu m\u0101ti nevaru vien beigt apbr\u012bnot. T\u0101da ap\u0146\u0113m\u012bba, t\u0101ds gribassp\u0113ks!” Es nezin\u0101ju, ko vi\u0146a ar to dom\u0101, t\u0101d\u0113\u013c p\u0101rtraucu slimnieces j\u016bsmo\u0161anu un l\u016bdzu izteikties skaidr\u0101k.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Ak, j\u016bs nezin\u0101t? Nu ja, vi\u0146ai laikam nav viegli par to tagad run\u0101t, tik smagu oper\u0101ciju p\u0101rcietusi. Bija t\u0101: j\u016bsu m\u0101tei no\u0146\u0113ma \u0123ipsi, iedeva kru\u0137us un s\u0101ka m\u0101c\u012bt staig\u0101t. Tad vi\u0146a konstat\u0113ja, ka kreis\u0101 k\u0101ja stipri \u012bs\u0101ka. Vi\u0146a bija sa\u0161utusi, izsauca pie sevis \u0137irurgu Batera\u0161vili, kur\u0161 vi\u0146u bija oper\u0113jis. Tas pateicis, ka neko vairs nevar dar\u012bt, un k\u0101ju var labot, ar ortop\u0113disko kurpi, pieliekot tik biezu zoli, cik centimetru pietr\u016bkst l\u012bdz norm\u0101lam garumam. To dzirdot, j\u016bsu m\u0101te sadusmoj\u0101s un lika izsaukt citus \u0101rstus, ar\u012b slimn\u012bcas galveno \u0101rstu Ma\u010dabelli. Atbilde t\u0101da pati – j\u0101izgatavo ortop\u0113disk\u0101 kurpe. J\u016bsu m\u0101te kategoriski piepras\u012bja jaunu oper\u0101ciju, jo grib\u0113ja, lai abas k\u0101jas b\u016btu vien\u0101das. \u0100rsti krat\u012bja galvas, sac\u012bdami, ka kauli labi saaugu\u0161i un vair\u0101k oper\u0101cijas neb\u016bs. Tad m\u0101te griezusies pie vesel\u012bbas aizsardz\u012bbas ministra ar l\u016bgumu pal\u012bdz\u0113t. Ne jau ministrs pats, bet k\u0101ds maz\u0101ks gari\u0146\u0161 atbrauca, atkal ar visiem \u0101rstiem kop\u0101 pateica galav\u0101rdu – oper\u0101cijas vairs neb\u016bs. Tikko, \u0101rsti atst\u0101ja noda\u013cu, j\u016bsu m\u0101te nometa kru\u0137us un iel\u0113ca k\u0101p\u0146u telpas \u0161aht\u0101. Kr\u012btot vi\u0146a stipri sasit\u0101s, bet pan\u0101ca to, ko grib\u0113ja p\u0101rlauza slimo k\u0101ju iepriek\u0161\u0113j\u0101 l\u016bzuma viet\u0101. Es redz\u0113ju, ka, neraugoties uz s\u0101p\u0113m, vi\u0146a staroja t\u0101d\u0101 k\u0101 uzvaras priek\u0101. T\u0101 tik ir sieviete, Kura skaistuma d\u0113\u013c risk\u0113ja ar dz\u012bv\u012bbu! Es nevaru vien beigt vi\u0146u apbr\u012bnot.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Es klus\u0113ju, iegrimusi dzi\u013c\u0101s p\u0101rdom\u0101s, un \u012bsti nevar\u0113ju aptvert, vai tas bija k\u0101ds \u0161ausmu st\u0101sts vai patiess notikums, jo m\u0101te pati man neko nebija teikusi. Vis\u0101 \u0161aj\u0101 satraukum\u0101 es nemaz nebiju paman\u012bjusi, ka tr\u016bkst cietumsarga. Reiz uzman\u012bgi m\u0101tei apjaut\u0101jos, vai vi\u0146a ar\u012b zina, ka neviens ar \u0161auteni rok\u0101 vairs pie durv\u012bm nest\u0101v. K\u0101 nu n\u0113, vi\u0146a to zin\u0101ja. Jau labu laici\u0146u pirms otr\u0101s oper\u0101cijas bija atn\u0101ku\u0161i, gulo\u0161u nofotograf\u0113ju\u0161i un pat pasi iedevu\u0161i. Par pier\u0101d\u012bjumu vi\u0146a izvilka pasi no atvilktnes un deva man apskat\u012bt. J\u0101, galva pases bild\u0113 atrad\u0101s uz spilvena, k\u0101 jau gulo\u0161am cilv\u0113kam. T\u0101tad mana m\u0101te vairs nebija cietumniece. Vi\u0146a bija noakt\u0113ta, t.i., \u012bpa\u0161a komisija sast\u0101d\u012bjusi aktu par to, ka ieslodz\u012bt\u0101 t\u0101da un t\u0101da nav nek\u0101dam darbam labo\u0161anas darbu nometn\u0113 der\u012bga. Un p\u0113c principa “kas nestr\u0101d\u0101, tam neb\u016bs \u0113st” no cietuma izmesta. T\u0101 katr\u0101 zi\u0146\u0101 bija pat\u012bkama v\u0113sts, tikai sav\u0101di, ka m\u0101te to man nebija pazi\u0146ojusi t\u016bli\u0146 p\u0113c pases sa\u0146em\u0161anas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ilgi nezin\u0101ju, k\u0101 m\u0101ti iztauj\u0101t par slim\u012bbu un t\u0101s gaitu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u0101r\u0101k nosl\u0113pumaina man \u0161\u0137ita m\u0101tes uzved\u012bba. Vienreiz sa\u0146\u0113mos un teicu: k\u0101da slimniece man st\u0101st\u012bjusi, it k\u0101 k\u0101ja bijusi \u012bs\u0101ka, bet vai t\u0101d\u0113\u013c m\u0101te l\u0113ca \u0161aht\u0101?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Bet ko citu es var\u0113ju dar\u012bt?” m\u0101te attrauca. “Iedom\u0101jies, vi\u0146i atteic\u0101s labot savu k\u013c\u016bdaino oper\u0101ciju un grib\u0113ja mani izrakst\u012bt no slimn\u012bcas ar sakrop\u013cotu k\u0101ju.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

T\u0101l\u0101k m\u0101te man past\u0101st\u012bja to pa\u0161u, ko bija teikusi sve\u0161\u0101 sieva, v\u0113l piez\u012bm\u0113dama, ka vi\u0146ai nav bijis daudz laika r\u012bc\u012bbas apdom\u0101\u0161anai, jo, ja pacients no slimn\u012bcas izrakst\u012bts, tad atpaka\u013c labot nepareizus saaugumus vairs ne\u0146em, t\u0101d\u0113\u013c steig\u0101 izdar\u012bjusi to, kas ien\u0101ca pr\u0101t\u0101, ieraugot tuk\u0161o k\u0101p\u0146u telpas cementa laukumu divus st\u0101vus zem\u0101k. Pirms tam k\u013c\u016bdaino oper\u0101ciju veicis \u0137irurgs Batera\u0161vili, kur\u0161 izskat\u012bj\u0101s vair\u0101k p\u0113c sievie\u0161u paved\u0113ja nek\u0101 p\u0113c \u0101rsta – jauns un nepieredz\u0113jis \u0137irurgs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

V\u0113l\u0101k septi\u0146desmitajos gados es av\u012bz\u0113 C\u012b\u0146a izlas\u012bju rakstu par R\u012bgas ortop\u0113disk\u0101s slimn\u012bcas \u0137irurgu Batera\u0161vili. Tur bija teikts, ka vi\u0146am nav un visp\u0101r nekad nav bijusi medic\u012bnisk\u0101 izgl\u012bt\u012bba, jo diplomu vi\u0146\u0161 nopircis Tbilisi, – p\u0113c tam R\u012bg\u0101 pie tautie\u0161a Ma\u010dabelli iek\u0101rtojies darb\u0101. Un viena no pirmaj\u0101m pacient\u0113m m\u0101ceklim bez izgl\u012bt\u012bbas bijusi cietumniece – mana m\u0101te.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u0113c izmis\u012bg\u0101 l\u0113ciena k\u0101p\u0146u \u0161aht\u0101 m\u0101ti pie\u0146\u0113ma sav\u0101 noda\u013c\u0101 labs, pieredz\u0113jis \u0137irurgs Dr.Kogans: Es vi\u0146u p\u0101ris reizes redz\u0113ju, t\u0101ds s\u012bks v\u012bri\u0146\u0161, sarkaniem matiem. Dr.Kogans “nozaud\u0113t\u0101” kaula viet\u0101 bija ievietojis citu kaulu un no gurna l\u012bdz celim, kaula vid\u016b, ievietojis met\u0101la stieni stabilit\u0101tei. Un visp\u0101r dr. Kogans bija velt\u012bjis manai m\u0101tei \u012bpa\u0161i lielu uzman\u012bbu un daudz r\u016bp\u0113jies par vi\u0146u.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oper\u0101cija bija veikta \u013coti \u012bs\u0101 laik\u0101, jo bija dota tikai lok\u0101l\u0101 narkoze, visp\u0101r\u0113jo bija riskanti dot slikt\u0101s vesel\u012bbas d\u0113\u013c. Tak jau Dr.Kogans zin\u0101ja un saprata, k\u0101du aplam\u012bbu jaunais gruz\u012bns bija izdar\u012bjis, bet vai toreiz dr\u012bkst\u0113ja run\u0101t? Ko dom\u0101, ko dzird un redz, viss bija j\u0101patur sev\u012b. M\u0101tes vesel\u012bba p\u0113c teicami izdar\u012btas oper\u0101cij\u0101s un pie labas kop\u0161anas strauji uzlaboj\u0101s. Un galvenais, cie\u0161anas nebija veltas – abas k\u0101jas nu bija vien\u0101d\u0101 garum\u0101.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

AVOTU IEL\u0100<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Visum\u0101 man nek\u0101da viegl\u0101 dz\u012bve pie t\u0113va nebija. Dienas pag\u0101ja, str\u0101d\u0101jot par r\u0113\u0137invedi, vakari skol\u0101, br\u012bvdien\u0101s j\u0101brauc uz slimn\u012bcu, un m\u0101j\u0101s nebija iesp\u0113jams pietiekami izgul\u0113ties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pie t\u0113va n\u0101ca draugi vakaros k\u0101rtis sp\u0113l\u0113t. Man lika t\u0113va draugus izklaid\u0113t ar m\u016bziku. Nos\u0113din\u0101ja mani noguru\u0161u, p\u0101rguru\u0161u pie klavier\u0113m – uzsp\u0113l\u0113t vienam valsi, otram vecu \u0161l\u0101geri, citam: v\u0113l nezin k\u0101das v\u012btu\u0161\u0101s rozes iegrib\u0113j\u0101s. Tas bija mans pien\u0101kums – maksa par pajumti. Reiz\u0113m neiztur\u0113ju, iemetu vann\u0101 p\u0101ris vecus m\u0113te\u013cus, spilvenu un likos gul\u0113t, kam\u0113r viesi aizies. Gad\u012bj\u0101s, ka vann\u0101 sagaid\u012bju r\u012btu. Tad s\u0101ka pie durv\u012bm klauv\u0113t tie, kuriem vajadz\u0113ja mazg\u0101ties. Komun\u0101l\u0101 dz\u012bvokl\u012b t\u0101du netr\u016bka. Parasti pirmie n\u0101ca jau ap se\u0161iem, tad v\u0113l g\u0101ju stundi\u0146u pagul\u0113t istab\u0101.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vien\u0101 sv\u0113tdienas p\u0113cpusdien\u0101 saposos ie\u0161anai uz operu. Pateicu t\u0113vam, uz kurieni eju. Aizg\u0101ju l\u012bdz operai, bet nelaim\u0113j\u0101s – visas bi\u013cetes izp\u0101rdotas. Atgriezos p\u0113c k\u0101d\u0101m tr\u012bsdesmit min\u016bt\u0113m m\u0101j\u0101s. Atv\u0113ru durvis un jutos nepat\u012bkami p\u0101rsteigta. T\u0113vs s\u0113\u017e pie galda, vi\u0146am blakus \u013coti negl\u012bta, bet \u013coti jauna sku\u0137e. Uz galda pudele un divas gl\u0101z\u012btes. Jaun\u0101 sku\u0137e var\u0113ja b\u016bt manos gados vai pat jaun\u0101ka, bet \u0161ausm\u012bgi nekopta, saburz\u012bt\u0101s dr\u0113b\u0113s. Vi\u0146a izskat\u012bj\u0101s diezgan atbaido\u0161i. “Cik t\u0113vam slikta gaume,” nodom\u0101ju. Laikam biju k\u013cuvusi p\u0101r\u0101k nervoza vai ar\u012b vienk\u0101r\u0161i grib\u0113j\u0101s atriebties par nozagtajiem jaunajiem z\u0101baci\u0146iem, par kleitu, ze\u0137\u0113m un visu p\u0101r\u0113jo. Neko neteikusi, \u0101tri izvilku no durvju iek\u0161puses atsl\u0113gu, ieliku to sl\u0113dzen\u0113 un, balod\u012b\u0161us iesl\u0113gusi; izsteidzos uz ielas mekl\u0113t miliciju. ilgi nebija j\u0101mekl\u0113, turpat uz Dzirnavu ielas st\u016bra divi st\u0101v\u0113ja. Pateicu mili\u010diem, ka pie mana t\u0113va viesojas nepat\u012bkama jauna d\u0101ma un ka, redzot t\u0101du vie\u0161\u0146u, man\u012b mostas aizdomas, vai mani atkal neapzags, jo vair\u0101kk\u0101rt no dz\u012bvok\u013ca mantas jau pazudu\u0161as. J\u0101, mili\u010di grib\u0113ja redz\u0113t, ko mans t\u0113vs p\u0101rvedis. Man par lielu p\u0101rsteigumu un gandar\u012bjumu, mili\u010di zin\u0101ja nosaukt sku\u0137ei v\u0101rdu un uzv\u0101rdu un aizveda vi\u0146u, sev l\u012bdzi. Vi\u0146a neko lielu neiztais\u012bja, kop\u0101 ar mili\u010diem mier\u012bgi dev\u0101s prom. Toties t\u0113vs bez liekiem v\u0101rdiem pien\u0101ca man kl\u0101t un cirta p\u013cauku. To es no sava t\u0113va nebiju gaid\u012bjusi, t\u0101 bija pirm\u0101 un p\u0113d\u0113j\u0101 man\u0101 m\u016b\u017e\u0101. M\u016bsu attiec\u012bb\u0101s no t\u0101 br\u012b\u017ea izveidoj\u0101s kautkas l\u012bdz\u012bgs “aukstajam karam”. Es vairs negrib\u0113ju ar vi\u0146u run\u0101t, jo dom\u0101ju, ka tik ilgi, kam\u0113r esmu vi\u0146a pajumt\u0113, vi\u0146am nevajadz\u0113ja man savas prieka d\u0101mas r\u0101d\u012bt. Bet t\u0113vs dom\u0101ja cit\u0101di. Vi\u0146am, pavec\u0101kam jauneklim, k\u0101 vi\u0146\u0161 sevi it k\u0101 pa jokam d\u0113v\u0113ja, meita trauc\u0113ja, un vi\u0146\u0161 nol\u0113ma no manas kl\u0101tb\u016btnes atbr\u012bvoties. \u012as\u0101 laik\u0101 vi\u0146\u0161 man samekl\u0113ja dz\u012bvokli.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Par t\u0101d\u0101m p\u0101rmai\u0146\u0101m var\u0113ju tikai priec\u0101ties: Dz\u012bvok\u013ca saimnieks J\u0101nis Akmens ar t\u0113vu kop\u0101 str\u0101d\u0101ja. Dz\u012bvoklis jau ilg\u0101ku laiku st\u0101v\u0113jis tuk\u0161s, jo Akme\u0146a sieva par neat\u013cautu tirgo\u0161anos ar raugu bija ies\u0113din\u0101ta uz pieciem gadiem cietum\u0101, d\u0113ls pa\u0146emts karadienest\u0101. Kaut ar\u012b Akmens bija jau gados un nepievilc\u012bga izskata, vi\u0146am bija sava sirdspu\u0137\u012bte, un pie t\u0101s vi\u0146\u0161 dz\u012bvaj\u0101. Akmens \u013coti priec\u0101j\u0101s par manu iev\u0101k\u0161anos vi\u0146a dz\u012bvokl\u012b, jo nemaz neesot labi tur\u0113t tuk\u0161u, var k\u0101ds ielauzties. M\u0101ja Avotu iel\u0101 40 gan no \u0101rpuses \u013coti negl\u012bta, bet telpas sam\u0113r\u0101 labas. Vienoj\u0101mies, ka es tur dz\u012bvo\u0161u, maks\u0101\u0161u p\u0113c likmes, bet pierakst\u012bta palieku vecaj\u0101 viet\u0101. Pavisam dz\u012bvoklim bija divas istabas, virtuve un neliels gaitenis.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Es dab\u016bju palielu istabu ar logu uz Avotu ielu, otr\u0101, maz\u0101k\u0101, glab\u0101j\u0101s Akme\u0146a \u0123imenes mantas. T\u0101 palika aizsl\u0113gta. Man\u0101 istab\u0101 bija liela jauna tahta, galds un da\u017ei kr\u0113sli, nebija skapja, to man atvietoja dr\u0113bju pakaramie gaiten\u012b, p\u0101rkl\u0101ti ar palagu. Uzkl\u0101ju skaistu galdautu, ieg\u0101d\u0101jos plauktus gr\u0101mat\u0101m un jutos bezgala apmierin\u0101ta. Paz\u012bstams advok\u0101ts man pal\u012bdz\u0113ja ieg\u0101d\u0101ties veselu autokravu sausas prie\u017eu malkas, kuru es pati skald\u012bju, nesu uz piekto st\u0101vu un kurin\u0101ju kr\u0101sni.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1949. gada marta vakar\u0101 k\u0101da laba pazi\u0146a, F. Ansona meita, man iemin\u0113j\u0101s, vai es nevar\u0113tu uz p\u0101ris nakt\u012bm pasl\u0113pt pie sevis vi\u0146as m\u0101ti, jo no Skr\u012bveru izpildkomitejas pie Ansona kundzes bija atskr\u0113jis labs latvie\u0161u cilv\u0113ks un br\u012bdin\u0101jis par gaid\u0101maj\u0101m izve\u0161an\u0101m. Ansona kundze toreiz dz\u012bvoja sav\u0101s lauku m\u0101j\u0101s Skr\u012bveros, bet p\u0113c br\u012bdin\u0101juma atbrauca pie meitas uz R\u012bgu. Nospried\u0101m, ka pie meitas palikt tom\u0113r nav labi. Es ar prieku piekritu, ka Ansona kundze n\u0101k man l\u012bdzi. Nopluku\u0161ais nams Avotu iel\u0101 ar mazajiem, nabadz\u012bgajiem dz\u012bvokl\u012b\u0161iem var\u0113tu b\u016bt visdro\u0161\u0101kais patv\u0113rums. Es \u0161o \u0123imeni labi pazinu un zin\u0101ju, ka Ansona kungs bija Latvijas zemnieku savien\u012bbas dienas av\u012bzes Br\u012bv\u0101 Zeme izdev\u0113js un K\u0101r\u013ca Ulma\u0146a tuvs draugs. Diviem F.Ansona b\u0113rniem prezidents bija pat krustt\u0113vs. Ansona kungu jau 41. gad\u0101 deport\u0113ja, bet vi\u0146a m\u0101ju Zaubes iel\u0101 izlaup\u012bja. Ansonu \u0113damistabas iek\u0101rtu ar visiem divpadsmit te\u013c\u0101du apvilktiem kr\u0113sliem aizveda taisn\u0101 ce\u013c\u0101 uz Maskavu, bet zilais Buh\u0101ras tepi\u0137is palika tepat R\u012bg\u0101 un greznoja k\u0101da iev\u0113rojama partijas funkcion\u0101ra kabinetu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

T\u0101 es ar Ansona kundzi, tumsai iest\u0101joties, k\u0101j\u0101m iedamas, bez starpgad\u012bjumiem nok\u013cuv\u0101m Avotu iel\u0101. Pied\u0101v\u0101ju Ansona kundzei savu tahtu un teicu, lai atp\u016btina k\u0101jas, jo iemin\u0113ties \u0161\u0101d\u0101 nakt\u012b par gul\u0113\u0161anu b\u016btu bijis pat nepiekl\u0101j\u012bgi. Ansona kundze pied\u0101v\u0101to tahtu kategoriski noraid\u012bja, vi\u0146a t\u0101pat uz kr\u0113sla pas\u0113d\u0113\u0161ot. P\u0113c neilgas tiel\u0113\u0161an\u0101s vienoj\u0101mies, ka es iek\u0101rto\u0161u kaut ko l\u012bdz\u012bgu gu\u013cas vietai uz \u010detriem kop\u0101 saliktiem kr\u0113sliem. Taj\u0101 nakt\u012b, t\u0101pat k\u0101 t\u016bksto\u0161iem citu latvie\u0161u, m\u0113s negul\u0113j\u0101m. Reiz\u0113m ar aiztur\u0113tu elpu tums\u0101 klaus\u012bj\u0101mies, k\u0101 cilv\u0113ku \u0137\u0113r\u0101ji kravas ma\u0161\u012bn\u0101s brauk\u0101ja pa iel\u0101m, bet Avotu iel\u0101, m\u016bsu tuvum\u0101, neviena neapst\u0101j\u0101s. Otr\u0101 dien\u0101 nekur \u0101r\u0101 neg\u0101j\u0101m. N\u0101ko\u0161aj\u0101 nakt\u012b ma\u0161\u012bnu trok\u0161\u0146us dzird\u0113j\u0101m ret\u0101k. Kad komunisti izve\u0161anas or\u0123ijas bija beigu\u0161i, es Ansona kundzi pavad\u012bju atpaka\u013c uz vi\u0146as meitas dz\u012bvokli.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bet Latvij\u0101 Ansana kundze nepalika. Vi\u0146a pati par savu naudu ieg\u0101d\u0101j\u0101s dzelzce\u013ca bi\u013ceti uz Krieviju un aizbrauca tai pa\u0161\u0101 virzien\u0101, bet bez restotiem logiem un bez zald\u0101tiem ar durk\u013ciem. Aps\u0113jusi lakati\u0146u, pa\u0146\u0113musi vienk\u0101r\u0161u ce\u013casomu, vi\u0146a dev\u0101s labpr\u0101t\u012bg\u0101 trimd\u0101, jo zin\u0101ja, ka dzimtaj\u0101 zem\u0113 vi\u0146u mekl\u0113s un miera neb\u016bs. Staig\u0101dama pa krievu s\u0101d\u017e\u0101m, vi\u0146a par pietic\u012bg\u0101m naktsm\u0101j\u0101m un tr\u016bc\u012bgu p\u0101rtiku maks\u0101ja ar diegiem un adat\u0101m, kuras vi\u0146a t\u0101dam nol\u016bkam bija ieg\u0101d\u0101jusies vairum\u0101.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Daudzus gadus vi\u0146a kl\u012bda pa sve\u0161u zemi un klus\u012bb\u0101 loloja cer\u012bbas atgriezties dzimten\u0113 un redz\u0113t savus b\u0113rnus. Ansona kundzes cer\u012bbas piepild\u012bj\u0101s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Net\u0101lu no jaun\u0101s dz\u012bves vietas Avotu iel\u0101 bija darbn\u012bca. Taj\u0101 izgatavoja da\u017e\u0101da veida izk\u0101rtnes. Ejot gar\u0101m, ieg\u0101ju pajaut\u0101t, vai gad\u012bjum\u0101 nevajag pal\u012bgu, teicu, ka labi protu t\u0101da veida darbus un m\u012blu darboties ar kr\u0101s\u0101m. Darbn\u012bcas vad\u012bt\u0101js Haitins apsol\u012bja, ka noteikti mani pie\u0146ems, tikl\u012bdz b\u016bs vair\u0101k pas\u016bt\u012bjumu. Atst\u0101ju savu adresi un v\u0101rdu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tie\u0161i to Haitinam vajadz\u0113ja. Man toreiz pat pr\u0101t\u0101 neien\u0101ca doma, ka Haitins oper\u0113 ar \u00abmiru\u0161\u0101m dv\u0113sel\u0113m\u00bb. To es uzzin\u0101ju k\u0101dus desmit gadus v\u0113l\u0101k, kad av\u012bz\u0113 C\u012b\u0146a par Haitinu par\u0101d\u012bj\u0101s gar\u0161 fe\u013cetons. Laikam gan skait\u012bjos pie Haitina darb\u0101 visus desmit gadus, pati to nezin\u0101dama. Un es, naiv\u0101, katru ned\u0113\u013cu ieg\u0101ju pajaut\u0101t, vai man dr\u012bzum\u0101 dos k\u0101dus plak\u0101tus kr\u0101sot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“B\u016bs, b\u016bs, meiti\u0146,” atbilde bija vienm\u0113r laipna. Vi\u0146i itk\u0101 str\u0101d\u0101ja divat\u0101, Haitins pats un vi\u0146a sieva, kuru vi\u0146\u0161 bija veiksm\u012bgi uz \u0101tru roku noprec\u0113jis, kad ie\u0146\u0113ma Berl\u012bni. Vi\u0146\u0161, krievu armijas kareivis, dab\u016bja par sievu skaistu v\u0101cieti. Eva par Haitinu bija krietni gar\u0101ka, vi\u0146\u0161 vi\u0146ai blakus atg\u0101din\u0101ja pusaud\u017eu z\u0113nu ar \u0161ausm\u012bgi krunkainu \u0123\u012bmi. Reti nesader\u012bgs p\u0101ris, bet Eva savu v\u012bru uzman\u012bja un sarg\u0101ja, jo vi\u0146ai nekas netr\u016bka, Haitins viens pats sara\u017eoja izk\u0101rtnes, bet algu sarakst\u0101 skait\u012bj\u0101s 10 – 12 str\u0101dnieku, pats par visiem parakst\u012bj\u0101s, un nauda palika pa\u0161iem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Beidzot pien\u0101ca diena, kad, ejot pa Avotu ielu, redzu – Haitins mani sauc. Biju bezgala priec\u012bga, bet piedz\u012bvoju vil\u0161anos, jo iemesls izr\u0101d\u012bj\u0101s cits. Haitina darbn\u012bc\u0101 st\u0101v\u0113ja jauna sieviete, plat\u0101m g\u016b\u017e\u0101m un kupliem, sprogainiem, gandr\u012bz melniem matiem. Vi\u0146a, nabadz\u012bte, esot iebraukusi no Orlas, bet nevien\u0101 R\u012bgas viesn\u012bc\u0101 nav dab\u016bjusi istabi\u0146u, lai tak es izpal\u012bdzot, lai pa\u0146emot \u0161o uz div\u0101m ned\u0113\u013c\u0101m pie sevis, kas mums, jaun\u0101m meiten\u0113m, nekait\u0113\u0161ot, divat\u0101 dz\u012bvojot, sadraudz\u0113\u0161oties. No pirm\u0101 acu uzmetiena man jaun\u0101 \u017e\u012bdiete \u013coti nepatika, t\u0101da uzp\u016btusies, iedom\u012bga, bet labi \u0123\u0113rbusies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Teicu, ka man\u0101 r\u012bc\u012bb\u0101 ir tikai viena istaba ar vienu tahtu, uz kuras es gu\u013cu un gul\u0113\u0161u. Nona b\u016b\u0161ot mier\u0101 ar\u012b uz gr\u012bdas gul\u0113t, vasaras laik\u0101 t\u0101 nav probl\u0113ma, Haitins man skaidro. Nona, dzirdot par gr\u012bdu, nepatik\u0101 sa\u0161\u0137ob\u012bja muti, nobol\u012bja acis; bet neko neteica. Nepavisam negrib\u0113j\u0101s t\u0101du Nonu \u0146emt sav\u0101 istab\u0101, bet Haitins l\u016bdza, un es ta\u010du gribu pie Haitina str\u0101d\u0101t. Dom\u0101ju, paciet\u012b\u0161u t\u0101s divas ned\u0113\u013cas, Haitins p\u0113c tam b\u016bs mans par\u0101dnieks un es \u0101tr\u0101k tik\u0161u pie izk\u0101rt\u0146u kr\u0101so\u0161anas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Un Nona nak\u0161\u0146oja man\u0101 istab\u0101 nevis divas, bet tr\u012bs ned\u0113\u013cas. Vi\u0146a man par sevi neko nest\u0101st\u012bja, bet jaut\u0101jumus gan uzdeva k\u0101 prokurors. Labpr\u0101t \u0113da no mana galda, protams, neko nemaks\u0101jot, tas jau piederas pie viesm\u012bl\u012bbas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Uz jaut\u0101jumu, vai es esot komjauniete, atbild\u0113ju, ka neesmu un netaisos b\u016bt. Nona par manu atbildi izr\u0101d\u012bja neviltotu sa\u0161utumu un \u0146\u0113m\u0101s mani kaunin\u0101t. Citu dienu vi\u0146a pies\u0113j\u0101s man\u0101m gr\u0101mat\u0101m: Alberta \u0160veicera, Tomasa Manna, Vilhelma Bu\u0161a u.c., vai tik t\u0101s neesot v\u0101cu valod\u0101. \u00abProtams, ka ir,\u00bb pateicu ar t\u0101du k\u0101 p\u0101r\u0101kuma apzi\u0146u. Tad gan vi\u0146a satais\u012bja pret\u012bgu grimasi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Katru vakaru, atg\u016blusies sav\u0101 gu\u013cas viet\u0101 uz maniem palagiem un spilveniem, vi\u0146a man\u012b nol\u016bkoj\u0101s ar p\u0101rmeto\u0161\u0101m ac\u012bm, laikam dom\u0101dama, ka vi\u0146ai k\u0101 komjaunietei b\u016btu j\u0101gu\u013c uz tahtas, bet man uz gr\u012bdas. Beidzot k\u0101du dienu vi\u0146a salika savas z\u012bda kleitas kofer\u012b, un es nopriec\u0101jos, ka Orlas d\u0101ma mani vairs neapgr\u016btin\u0101s. Neatceros, ko vi\u0146a teica promejot, bet, \u0161\u0137iet, neko pateic\u012bbai l\u012bdz\u012bgu nesadzird\u0113ju.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pirmaj\u0101 nakt\u012b p\u0113c Nonas aizie\u0161anas mani no miega uzc\u0113la trok\u0161\u0146i, kas n\u0101ca no virtuves. T\u0101, nodom\u0101ju, mamzele atn\u0101kusi atpaka\u013c. Bet es tak durvis aizsl\u0113dzu un \u0137\u0113di ar\u012b aizkabin\u0101ju. S\u0113\u017eu uz tahtas, k\u0101jas nolaidusi uz gr\u012bdas, un klausos, j\u0101, skaidri dzirdu, virtuv\u0113 k\u0101ds mazg\u0101 ve\u013cu. Dzirdu, k\u0101 \u0161\u013cakst \u016bdens, tad trin ve\u013cu pret ve\u013cas d\u0113li, tad d\u0113lis klab pret vannas malu, tad b\u012bda kr\u0113slu, kaut kas atkal grab. Ce\u013cos, eju skat\u012bties. Bet t\u0101da neizskaidrojama bai\u013cu saj\u016bta mani p\u0101r\u0146\u0113musi. L\u0113n\u0101m uz pirkstu galiem tuvojos virtuvei, uzdedzu gaismu, bet tur nek\u0101 nav. Visas lietas sav\u0101 viet\u0101.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0100rdurvis nosl\u0113gtas, \u0137\u0113de priek\u0161\u0101. Par gul\u0113\u0161anu vairs nevar\u0113ju pat iedom\u0101ties, sav\u0101die trok\u0161\u0146i neizg\u0101ja no pr\u0101ta. Varb\u016bt k\u0101ds aiz sienas mazg\u0101ja ve\u013cu? N\u0113, trok\u0161\u0146i n\u0101ca no virtuves. Otr\u0101 r\u012bt\u0101 tom\u0113r pieklauv\u0113ju pie kaimi\u0146ienes. Jaut\u0101ju, vai nakt\u012b k\u0101ds nav ve\u013cu mazg\u0101jis. Vi\u0146a apgalvoja, ka ne, bet ien\u0101ca man\u0101 virtuv\u0113 un ar izstieptu roku nor\u0101d\u012bja uz griestiem. Tur t\u0101di br\u016bni plankumi\u0146i bija redzami. T\u0101s, vi\u0146a teica, ir noslepkavot\u0101 mili\u010da asinis, kad band\u012bti vi\u0146am nocirta galvu, arteri\u0101l\u0101s asinis uz\u0161\u013c\u0101ca str\u016bklu l\u012bdz griestiem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00abK\u0101da mili\u010da, ko j\u016bs run\u0101jat?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00abVai tad Akmens jums neteica?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“N\u0113, neko neteica.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00abNu tas bija pirms vair\u0101kiem gadiem, te dz\u012bvoja t\u0101di krievi, vi\u0146i te midzeni tur\u0113ja, vis\u0101di n\u0101ca. Kad atn\u0101ca milicijas pilnvarotais, tie vi\u0146am uzbruka ar cirvi. Tad vi\u0146us apcietin\u0101ja, un dz\u012bvokli dab\u016bja Akmens ar \u0123imeni.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00abAk t\u0101das lieti\u0146as te notiku\u0161as. Un nevienam nav ien\u0101cis pr\u0101t\u0101 dz\u012bvokli izkr\u0101sot, ja ne visu, vismaz virtuvi.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kaimi\u0146iene, \u0161ausmu st\u0101stu izst\u0101st\u012bjusi, aizg\u0101ja. Nol\u0113mu vistuv\u0101kaj\u0101 laik\u0101 p\u0101rkr\u0101sot virtuvi. Dien\u0101, lai ko ar\u012b dar\u012btu, dzird\u0113tie trok\u0161\u0146i nedeva mieru, aizbraucu uz slimn\u012bcu, past\u0101st\u012bju m\u0101tei. Vi\u0146a pateica, ka mani k\u0101ds gars ir \u00abizmazg\u0101jis” no min\u0113t\u0101 dz\u012bvok\u013ca un no parapsiholo\u0123ijas viedok\u013ca man dr\u012bz\u0101 laik\u0101 no turienes b\u016bs j\u0101aiziet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u0101ris dienas izjutu lielu atvieglojumu, jo Nonas kl\u0101tb\u016btne mani bija padar\u012bjusi nervozu. Izmazg\u0101ju gr\u012bdas un likos gul\u0113t. Nakts vid\u016b pie man\u0101m durv\u012bm k\u0101ds stipri zvan\u012bja. T\u0101, nodom\u0101ju, Nona atkal kl\u0101t, jo, kas cits var\u0113tu nakt\u012b zvan\u012bt. Pusap\u0123\u0113rbusies v\u0113l nodom\u0101ju, varb\u016bt neiet nemaz pie durv\u012bm, lai dom\u0101, ka neesmu m\u0101j\u0101s, bet zvan\u012b\u0161ana pa starp\u0101m ar klauv\u0113\u0161anu k\u013cuva neatlaid\u012bg\u0101ka. Pajaut\u0101ju: \u00abKas tur ir?” Izr\u0101d\u012bj\u0101s, milicija ieradusies izkrat\u012bt manu istabu, grib\u0113ja uzlauzt ar\u012b otras durvis, es teicu, ka bez saimnieka kl\u0101tb\u016btnes ne\u013cau\u0161u, jo kas atbild\u0113s par vi\u0146a mantu. Neko neatradu\u0161i, lika man ap\u0123\u0113rbties un braukt l\u012bdzi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Milicij\u0101 mani pratin\u0101ja par k\u0101du lielu somu, pilnu ar defic\u012bta prec\u0113m, dr\u0113bju kr\u0101s\u0101m un nezin ko v\u0113l, kur es to visu \u0146\u0113musi un kam p\u0101rdevusi. Pamaz\u0101m s\u0101ku saprast, par ko mani pratina un ka t\u0101 ir Nonas pateic\u012bba par naktsm\u0101j\u0101m, brokast\u012bm un vakari\u0146\u0101m. Teicu, ka par somas saturu neko nezinu, jo man nav n\u0101kusi pr\u0101t\u0101 doma atv\u0113rt sve\u0161u somu, lai to p\u0101rbaud\u012btu. Teicu, ka somu uz diennakti dz\u012bvok\u013ca \u012bpa\u0161nieka radi nolika virtuv\u0113, p\u0113c tam aizbrauca uz laukiem. K\u0101 sauc, nezinu, kur dz\u012bvo, ar\u012b nezinu. Ja jau \u013coti vajadz\u0113s, tad atrad\u012bs bez manas pal\u012bdz\u012bbas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

T\u0101tad Nona, sve\u0161\u0101 m\u0101j\u0101 uz\u0146emta aiz \u017e\u0113last\u012bbas, uzdro\u0161in\u0101j\u0101s iet pie v\u0113l sve\u0161\u0101ku cilv\u0113ku somas, izok\u0161\u0137er\u0113t to un pazi\u0146ot milicij\u0101, ka som\u0101 atrodas defic\u012bta preces, pied\u0113v\u0113jot man vainu par spekul\u0101ciju. Mani patur\u0113ja milicijas aresta telp\u0101s. Da\u017e\u0101s dien\u0101s noskaidroju\u0161i, ka laucinieki, kam soma pieder\u0113ja, apskr\u0113ju\u0161i puspils\u0113tu, lai sapirktu visu uz laukiem nepiecie\u0161amo, eksist\u0113 un man aps\u016bdz\u012bbu par spekul\u0101ciju no\u0146\u0113ma. Bet kaut kas pret mani bija j\u0101atrod. Apst\u0101k\u013cu sagad\u012b\u0161an\u0101s d\u0113\u013c lieta bija j\u0101safabric\u0113, jo tik garu un pamat\u012bgu komjaunietes aps\u016bdz\u012bbas rakstu nedr\u012bkst\u0113ja atst\u0101t bez iev\u0113r\u012bbas. Labi v\u0113l, ka milicijas izmekl\u0113t\u0101jam (toreiz v\u0113l leitnantam, v\u0113l\u0101k kapteinim) Eglem bija tik daudz goda j\u016btu, ka vi\u0146\u0161 nebija s\u016bdz\u012bbu nos\u016bt\u012bjis uz NKVD. K\u0101 es pati v\u0113l\u0101k dab\u016bju izlas\u012bt, Nona nebija ar v\u0101rdiem skopojusies; \u00abpagodinot” mani par v\u0101cu spiedzi un fa\u0161isti, jo man esot pilns plaukts ar fa\u0161istu literat\u016bru. Par komjaunatni es esot atkl\u0101ti \u0146irg\u0101jusies. Un t\u0101 par padomju valstij b\u012bstamas personas atmasko\u0161anu Nona nekautr\u0113j\u0101s piepras\u012bt sev mazu atl\u012bdz\u012bbu. Vi\u0146ai p\u0113c manas apcietin\u0101\u0161an\u0101s pien\u0101koties t\u0101 dz\u012bvok\u013ca orderis, pie kura vi\u0146a pa trim ned\u0113\u013c\u0101m t\u0101 bija pieradusi. Tikai vi\u0146a nezin\u0101ja, ka dz\u012bvok\u013ca ordera \u012bpa\u0161nieks bija str\u0101dnieks J\u0101nis Akmens un ka pret to vi\u0146ai rokas par \u012bs\u0101m. Atmasko\u0161anas raksts bija uzrakst\u012bts uz piec\u0101m lap\u0101m ar za\u013cu tinti, dro\u0161\u0101, skaidr\u0101 rokrakst\u0101, lai nekas netiktu p\u0101rprasts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Man asaras trauc\u0113ja visu pamat\u012bg\u0101k izlas\u012bt, jo visu laiku dom\u0101ju es tak dar\u012bju vi\u0146ai tikai labu, pat maizi dal\u012bju uz pus\u0113m, vienl\u012bdz\u012bg\u0101s da\u013c\u0101s…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Izst\u0101st\u012bju izmekl\u0113t\u0101jam visu, k\u0101 bija, ka vi\u0146ai nebija kur p\u0101rgul\u0113t un es vi\u0146ai izpal\u012bdz\u0113ju. J\u0101, vi\u0146\u0161 to visu saprotot, bet vi\u0146am vienam neesot ties\u012bbas par t\u0101du smagu aps\u016bdz\u012bbu \u0146emt, bez tam es gandr\u012bz gadu esmu dz\u012bvojusi Avotu iel\u0101 nelikum\u012bgi – bez pierakst\u012b\u0161an\u0101s. Un pants atrad\u0101s – “Par pases re\u017e\u012bma p\u0101rk\u0101p\u0161anu”. Tur es neko iebilst nevar\u0113ju. Kas taisn\u012bba, tas taisn\u012bba, \u012bsti likum\u012bga mana dz\u012bvo\u0161ana kop\u0161 R\u012bgas laikiem nekad nav bijusi. Lieta non\u0101ca tautas ties\u0101, un man piesprieda maz\u0101ko soda m\u0113ru: vienu gadu ieslodz\u012bjuma labo\u0161anas darbu nometn\u0113. B\u016btu min\u0113t\u0101 s\u016bdz\u012bba non\u0101kusi Stabu iel\u0101, b\u016btu no desmit l\u012bdz divdesmit pieciem gadiem, laime, ka Nona nezin\u0101ja Stabu ielas adresi. “Neviena labdar\u012bba nepaliek nesod\u012bta.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

KO ES REDZ\u0112JU CIETUM\u0100<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Kam\u0113r v\u0113l nebiju noties\u0101ta, daudz dom\u0101ju par Nonas r\u012bc\u012bbu. Bet, kad spriedums bija pasludin\u0101ts un mani p\u0101rveda no Cietuma Nr. 2 uz Centr\u0101lcietumu, es s\u0101ku vair\u0101k dom\u0101t par to, vai esmu peln\u012bjusi visus pazemojumus, apvainojumus un ne\u0113rt\u012bbas, kas saist\u0101s ar dz\u012bvi cietum\u0101. Un n\u0101cu pie secin\u0101juma, ka zin\u0101m\u0101 m\u0113r\u0101 esmu gan, jo tic\u0113ju liktenim, no kura nevar izb\u0113gt. Epizode ar Nonu bija tikai sagad\u012b\u0161an\u0101s. Ac\u012bmredzot man bija j\u0101nok\u013c\u016bst cietum\u0101, lai redz\u0113tu, zin\u0101tu un izbaud\u012btu kaut da\u013cu no t\u0101, ko mana m\u0101te ir izbaud\u012bjusi. Cietum\u0101 dzi\u013c\u0101k aizdom\u0101jos ar\u012b par sav\u0101m un m\u0101tes sare\u017e\u0123\u012btaj\u0101m attiec\u012bb\u0101m. Tagad daudz kas \u0161\u0137ita cit\u0101d\u0101k, cit\u0101di v\u0113rt\u0113ju ar\u012b vien\u0101 otr\u0101 reiz\u0113 nesaprastu m\u0101tes r\u012bc\u012bbu. Man toreiz bija septi\u0146padsmit gadu, kad skol\u0101 bija sar\u012bkojums. M\u0101te v\u0113l nebija apcietin\u0101ta. Teicu m\u0101tei, ka ie\u0161u uz skolas vakaru. M\u0101te noliedza: “Nekur tu neiesi, nek\u0101di sar\u012bkojumi tev nav vajadz\u012bgi.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“J\u0101, mamm, bet es piedalos sar\u012bkojuma programm\u0101 un mani nav kas atvieto, m\u0113s vair\u0101k nek\u0101 m\u0113nesi esam lugu m\u0101c\u012bju\u0161ies.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Teicu, ka neiesi.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Bet skolot\u0101ja b\u016bs dusm\u012bga… Un visp\u0101r – t\u0101 tak nevar.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Nu labi, t\u016bli\u0146 p\u0113c programmas tev j\u0101b\u016bt m\u0101j\u0101s.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Apsol\u012bjos b\u016bt m\u0101j\u0101s, k\u0101 m\u0101te pieteica. Programma izn\u0101ca diezgan gara, jo man bija j\u0101piedal\u0101s ar\u012b vingro\u0161an\u0101. P\u0113c priek\u0161nesumiem z\u0113ni sast\u016bma mal\u0101 kr\u0113slus, un skolas or\u0137estris ie\u0146\u0113ma savas vietas. Es m\u0101tes br\u012bdin\u0101jumu atcer\u0113jos labi un nol\u0113mu izdejot tikai vienu vien\u012bgu deju, pirmo valsi. Mani uzl\u016bdza, es dejoju pirmo valsi. Tad negaidot mani k\u0101ds sagr\u0101ba aiz biz\u0113m, t\u0101 stingri pie pa\u0161as \u0101das. T\u0101 bija mana m\u0101te; atn\u0101kusi man paka\u013c un veda aiz biz\u0113m \u0101r\u0101 no z\u0101les. Visi skat\u012bj\u0101s, k\u0101 mani ved. Ak, to \u0161ausm\u012bgo kaunu un negodu; k\u0101ds man bija j\u0101piedz\u012bvo.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

L\u016bdzos, lai tak nedusmojas, ja netic, lai paprasa skolot\u0101jai, programma tik tikko beidz\u0101s un es tikai vienu pa\u0161u deju tik \u013coti grib\u0113ju nodejot. P\u0113c t\u0101s b\u016btu g\u0101jusi m\u0101j\u0101s. Bet m\u0101tes dusmas tikai pieauga, neatceros, ko vi\u0146a teica, bet atceros, ka m\u0113s t\u0101 sav\u0101di g\u0101j\u0101m uz m\u0101ju: m\u0101te pa ietvi, bet es, tur\u0113dam\u0101s no vi\u0146as t\u0101l\u0101k, jo baid\u012bjos sa\u0146emt sitienus, g\u0101ju pa ielas vidu. Un tad, atceroties visas t\u0101s reizes, kad par s\u012bkumiem m\u0101te mani bij\u0101 situsi, man uzn\u0101ca t\u0101da sav\u0101da dusmu l\u0113kme, k\u0101du nekad agr\u0101k nebiju izjutusi. Un t\u0101d\u0101 nervu uzbudin\u0101juma st\u0101vokl\u012b es pateicu m\u0101tei v\u0101rdus, kurus sav\u0101 m\u016b\u017e\u0101 esmu daudzk\u0101rt no\u017e\u0113lojusi: “Kaut tu salauztu k\u0101ju un nevar\u0113tu man paka\u013c izstaig\u0101t, un, ja tu tiktu cietum\u0101, tu ar\u012b to nevar\u0113tu.” L\u012bdzko to pateicu, man acumirkli p\u0101rg\u0101ja dusmas un bija kauns, ka esmu tik \u013cauni run\u0101jusi. Kad p\u0113c m\u0113ne\u0161a m\u0101ti apcietin\u0101ja, es \u0161os v\u0101rdus atcer\u0113jos, tikai nevar\u0113ju saprast, vai manis d\u0113\u013c \u0161ie v\u0101rdi piepild\u012bju\u0161ies. Bet tad, kad m\u0101te bija k\u0101ju salauzusi un izcietusi tik drausm\u012bgas s\u0101pes un moc\u012bbas, man nekur nebija miera. Es dzi\u013ci no\u017e\u0113loju teikto un v\u0113l\u0113jos, kaut nekad t\u0101 neb\u016btu sac\u012bjusi. Es tak negrib\u0113ju savu m\u0101ti nol\u0101d\u0113t, es tikai biju dusm\u012bga par to, ka man vien\u012bgajai no visas skolas atn\u0101ca paka\u013c, lai izvestu no z\u0101les k\u0101 no \u0137\u0113des nor\u0101vu\u0161os \u0161uneli.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Toreiz, kad m\u0101tei iztais\u012bja otro oper\u0101ciju, es, nevar\u0113dama atbr\u012bvoties no sirdsapzi\u0146as p\u0101rmetumiem, biju bazn\u012bc\u0101, noliku svec\u012bti un l\u016bdzu Dievu, lai man piedod dusm\u0101s izteiktos l\u0101stus. No t\u0101s dienas m\u0101tes st\u0101voklis uzlaboj\u0101s. Man k\u013cuva viegl\u0101k. Bet Dievu es biju l\u016bgusi, m\u0101ti nekad. Tad, kad to v\u0113l var\u0113ju, man tas neien\u0101ca pr\u0101t\u0101, v\u0113l\u0101k bija jau par v\u0113lu. Varb\u016bt, ja es b\u016btu sa\u0146\u0113musi m\u0101tes piedo\u0161anu, ar mani nekas \u013cauns neb\u016btu noticis.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ar l\u0101stiem m\u0113t\u0101ties nevar, kur nu v\u0113l pret savu m\u0101ti, vistuv\u0101k\u0101 asins radinieci, kaut ar\u012b bie\u017ei vi\u0146a mani piln\u012bgi bez vainas bija \u0161ausm\u012bgi p\u0113rusi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Daudzreiz man bija v\u0113l\u0113\u0161an\u0101s ar m\u0101ti sirsn\u012bg\u0101k izrun\u0101ties, bet nekad tam nerad\u0101s laiks un piem\u0113roti apst\u0101k\u013ci. Vienm\u0113r vi\u0146a man \u0161\u0137ita t\u0101da v\u0113sa un nepieejama .Un nu tas laiks ir pag\u0101jis, un man j\u0101nes pa\u0161ai savs krusts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cietum\u0101 bij\u0101m visda\u017e\u0101d\u0101k\u0101s personas. Vienai krievietei \u013coti grib\u0113j\u0101s ar mani parun\u0101ties. Vi\u0146a bija jauna, un, ja vi\u0146a b\u016btu no parast\u0101s zag\u013cu vai palaistuvju sugas, es vi\u0146as v\u0101rdu nem\u016b\u017eam neatcer\u0113tos. Bet p\u0113c t\u0101, ko vi\u0146a man past\u0101st\u012bja, es savas pirm\u0101s cietuma pazi\u0146as Va\u013cas Amosovas v\u0101rdu nekad neaizmirs\u012b\u0161u. L\u016bk, ko vi\u0146a man par sevi past\u0101st\u012bja Pievakar\u0113 braukusi ar vilcienu, pretim s\u0113d\u0113jis pavec\u0101ks onkul\u012btis – “djadjka”, vi\u0146am mut\u0113 bijis daudz zelta zobu un visp\u0101r izskat\u012bjies tur\u012bgs. K\u0101d\u0101 neliel\u0101 stacij\u0101 onkul\u012btim bijis j\u0101izk\u0101pj. Vi\u0146a, Amosova, ar\u012b izk\u0101pusi. G\u0101jusi vi\u0146am blakus, kaut ko run\u0101ju\u0161i, tad, Amosova uz ce\u013ca pac\u0113lusi akmeni un ar to onkuli nositusi. No kabat\u0101m iz\u0146\u0113musi diezgan daudz naudas. Kabat\u0101 bijis ar\u012b salok\u0101mais nazis, t\u0101ds paliels. To ar\u012b pa\u0146\u0113musi. Tad atcer\u0113jusies daudzos zelta zobus. Nevar zeltu uz ce\u013ca atst\u0101t, bet k\u0101 tikt pie zobiem? Izdom\u0101jusi. Ar atrasto nazi, gan ar liel\u0101m gr\u016bt\u012bb\u0101m, nogriezusi v\u012brietim galvu un to pa\u0146\u0113musi som\u0101 l\u012bdzi uz m\u0101j\u0101m. Tur, virtuv\u0113 uz galda, likusi m\u0101tei galvu tur\u0113t, kam\u0113r ar kn\u012bpstang\u0101m dab\u016bjusi zobus \u0101r\u0101. Jutu, ka man uzmetas zos\u0101da, bet nezin\u0101ju, k\u0101 man, visu to dzird\u0113ju\u0161ai, j\u0101rea\u0123\u0113 un visp\u0101r – k\u0101d\u0113\u013c vi\u0146a man to st\u0101st\u012bja? Apmulsusi laikam pajaut\u0101ju, vai vi\u0146ai nemaz nebija \u017e\u0113l cilv\u0113ka – vai kaut ko taml\u012bdz\u012bgu. Atceros, vi\u0146a itin bra\u0161i atcirta, ka tas t\u0101ds nieks vien ir, k\u0101, piem\u0113ram, nogalin\u0101t peli. Man ilgi p\u0113c Amosovas st\u0101sta acu priek\u0161\u0101 r\u0113goj\u0101s skats, k\u0101 ap asi\u0146aino galvu asin\u012bm notraip\u012bt\u0101m rok\u0101m darbojas divas krievietes – meita un m\u0101te. Agri es uzzin\u0101ju, uz ko krievietes un krievi ir sp\u0113j\u012bgi. K\u0101di vi\u0146i mums varb\u016bt br\u0101\u013ci un m\u0101sas! Bet partija un vald\u012bba grib, lai Amosova b\u016btu mana m\u0101sa… Un te vi\u0146a s\u0113\u017e man blakus un grib ar mani sadraudz\u0113ties, citas laikam vi\u0146u nepie\u0146em. Str\u0101d\u0101t mani nor\u012bkoja pirt\u012b – “atuto\u0161anas” kamer\u0101. Tas bija \u013coti gr\u016bts darbs, tikai utis gan ne reizi nepaman\u012bju, jo taj\u0101 laik\u0101 krievietes masveid\u012bgi nen\u0101ca iek\u0161\u0101. Tikai nedaudzas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tas bija 1949. gada decembr\u012b. Cietumi bija p\u0101rpild\u012bti ar latvie\u0161u zemniec\u0113m, jaun\u0101m, sp\u0113c\u012bg\u0101m un pavisam vec\u0101m, nevar\u012bg\u0101m. Toreiz valsts pild\u012bja kolektiviz\u0101cijas realiz\u0101cijas pl\u0101nu, par nodok\u013cu nenomaks\u0101\u0161anu apcietinot zemniekus un pie viena pan\u0101kot, lai “me\u017eabr\u0101\u013ciem” neb\u016btu pieejama p\u0101rtika. Netikdami gal\u0101 ar partiz\u0101niem, atrieb\u0101s zemniec\u0113m. Cietum\u0101 vi\u0146as tika pak\u013cautas necilv\u0113c\u012bgam pazemojumam – “sanit\u0101rajai apstr\u0101dei”. Lika iz\u0123\u0113rbties kail\u0101m, st\u0101v\u0113t rind\u0101, kam\u0113r krievu zald\u0101ti \u0146irg\u0101damies ar b\u0101rdas dzenam\u0101m \u017eilet\u0113m noskuva visapsl\u0113pt\u0101k\u0101s \u0137erme\u0146a vietas. Kura ne\u013c\u0101v\u0101s ar labu, tai to izdar\u012bja ar varu, par preto\u0161anos v\u0113l sodot \u012bpa\u0161i – noskuva ar\u012b galvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0160o skatu es p\u0113c daudziem gadiem, jau b\u016bdama Amerik\u0101, uzgleznoju uz liela audekla un izst\u0101d\u012bju pla\u0161ai publikas apskatei \u0145ujork\u0101, vald\u012bbas \u0113kas vestibil\u0101 – ar kl\u0101t pievienotu paskaidrojuma tekstu ang\u013cu valod\u0101. Veselu m\u0113nesi amerik\u0101\u0146u skat\u012bt\u0101ji var\u0113ja v\u0113rot savu draugu un sabiedroto izdar\u012bbas. Cietuma pirt\u012b mans uzdevums bija no kailaj\u0101m, zemniec\u0113m sa\u0146emt smag\u0101s vilnas dr\u0101nas, j\u0113r\u0101das puska\u017eokus, garas ad\u012btas vilnas ze\u0137es, lakatus u.c. Ap\u0123\u0113rba gabali tika sav\u0113rt uz lieliem dzelzs ri\u0146\u0137iem, man \u0161ie ri\u0146\u0137i bija j\u0101nes milz\u012bg\u0101 dzelzs kamer\u0101, zem kuras k\u016br\u0101s uguns. Karstums kamer\u0101 neiedom\u0101jams, t\u0101d\u0113\u013c man k\u0101j\u0101s bija koka tupeles, rok\u0101s brezenta cimdi. Kamer\u0101 uz \u0101\u0137iem ri\u0146\u0137i j\u0101uzkar, tad aizbult\u0113ja dzelzs durvis un zin\u0101mu laiku ap\u0123\u0113rbus kars\u0113ja. P\u0113c tam atv\u0113ra kameras otr\u0101 pus\u0113 t\u0101das pa\u0161as dzelzs durvis, kur sievietes p\u0113c mazg\u0101\u0161an\u0101s pirt\u012b savas dr\u0113bes var\u0113ja sa\u0146emt. Sarun\u0101ties bija kategoriski aizliegts, t\u0101d\u0113\u013c ar vair\u0101k\u0101m tikai ar ac\u012bm saprat\u0101mies, bet ar da\u017e\u0101m tom\u0113r sa\u010dukst\u0113j\u0101mies. Mani pie\u0137\u0113ra un jau ceturtaj\u0101 dien\u0101 “no darba atlaida”.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Karstum\u0101 un vienlaic\u012bgi aukstaj\u0101 caurv\u0113j\u0101 man gad\u012bj\u0101s saslimt. Ar augstu temperat\u016bru mani ievietoja slimn\u012bc\u0101. Tur iepazinos ar \u0112riku P\u0101vilu, \u0101rk\u0101rt\u012bgi skaistu, gara auguma jaunu sievieti. M\u0113s bij\u0101m kamer\u0101 tikai divas un var\u0113j\u0101m viena otrai st\u0101st\u012bt visu, kas uz sirds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Uzzin\u0101jusi mana t\u0113va adresi, \u0112rika pateica ka taj\u0101 dz\u012bvokl\u012b dz\u012bvo ar\u012b vi\u0146as pazi\u0146as. V\u0113l vair\u0101k: es atcer\u0113jos, ka reiz atveru vi\u0146ai durvis, kad vi\u0146a n\u0101ca pie P\u0113tersoniem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Toreiz vi\u0146ai bija skaists, melns ka\u017eoks, kas tik labi izskat\u012bj\u0101s pie blondiem, labi safriz\u0113tiem matiem. \u0112rikai bija popul\u0101rais 58. pants un jau noties\u0101ta uz desmit gadiem. \u0112rika, t\u0101pat ka es, bija str\u0101d\u0101jusi v\u0101cu lazaret\u0113, tikai cit\u0101 darb\u0101 – par m\u0101si\u0146u. Tur bija iepazinusies ar latvie\u0161u z\u0113niem le\u0123ion\u0101riem. Kad le\u0123ion\u0101ri p\u0113c izvese\u013co\u0161an\u0101s devu\u0161ies atkal uz fronti, \u0161\u0137ir\u0161an\u0101s dien\u0101 kop\u0101 nofotograf\u0113ju\u0161ies. \u0112rika, nek\u0101 \u013cauna nedom\u0101dama, fotogr\u0101fijas tur\u0113jusi m\u0101j\u0101s, sav\u0101 album\u0101. Vi\u0146a dz\u012bvoja pie vec\u0101kiem, kop\u0101 ar savu se\u0161gad\u012bgo meiti\u0146u. V\u012brs str\u0101d\u0101ja Ventspil\u012b un reti ierad\u0101s pie \u0123imenes. Vair\u0101ki draugi, iemodamies pie \u0112rikas, bija \u0161\u0137irst\u012bju\u0161i albumu, ta\u010du k\u0101dam ien\u0101ca pr\u0101t\u0101 nozagt likten\u012bg\u0101s fotogr\u0101fijas un aiznest uz st\u016bra m\u0101ju. \u0112rika pat nevar\u0113ja iedom\u0101ties, kur\u0161 jeb kura to izdar\u012bja, jo ties\u0101 fotogr\u0101fijas run\u0101ja pa\u0161as par sevi un nek\u0101di liecinieki nebija nepiecie\u0161ami. \u0112rikas v\u012brs, neskatoties uz to, ka \u0112rika tika apcietin\u0101ta un ties\u0101ta, gaidot otro b\u0113rnu, no sievas \u0161\u0137\u012br\u0101s. Un t\u0101 1950.gada 16. janv\u0101r\u012b Centr\u0101lcietum\u0101 bija lemts piedzimt latvie\u0161u puis\u012btim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dzemd\u012bbas s\u0101k\u0101s p\u0113cpusdien\u0101, es uztraukusies pieskr\u0113ju pie durv\u012bm un klauv\u0113ju, cik sp\u0113ka. Neviens nen\u0101k. Tad no\u0101vu kurpi un ar pap\u0113di situ v\u0113l ska\u013c\u0101k. Pien\u0101k \u0161\u0137\u012bbacains cietumsargs un man uzkliedz: “Ko, karcer\u012b sagrib\u0113j\u0101s?” – \u0100tri sauciet k\u0101du pal\u012bg\u0101! B\u0113rns n\u0101k pasaul\u0113!” Cietumsargs aizsit lodzi\u0146u un aiziet. Dom\u0101ju, iet k\u0101du m\u0101si\u0146u vai \u0101rsti pasaukt. Steidzos pie \u0112rikas, gl\u0101stu vi\u0146ai matus, run\u0101ju da\u017e\u0101dus m\u012b\u013cus v\u0101rdus, pati esmu gal\u012bgi stulba, nepieredz\u0113jusi, nepiedz\u012bvojusi, nezi\u0146\u0101, ko dar\u012bt, kad dzimst b\u0113rns. Bet tik daudz es tom\u0113r sapratu, ka b\u0113rns nen\u0101ca norm\u0101li. \u0112rika kliedz. Es atkal pie durv\u012bm, situ, klauv\u0113ju, saucu. Neviens nen\u0101k. Piesteidzos atkal pie \u0112rikas un gal\u012bgi p\u0101rbijos, kad ieraudz\u012bju divas mazas k\u0101ji\u0146as. Ko nu dar\u012bt? Tik daudz pr\u0101ta man bija, ka t\u0101d\u0101 situ\u0101cij\u0101 b\u0113rni\u0146\u0161 var nosmakt. Izmisum\u0101 ar ab\u0101m rok\u0101m un strauju kust\u012bbu uzspiedu vi\u0146ai uz v\u0113dera, \u0112rika \u0161ausm\u012bgi iekliedz\u0101s, es p\u0101rbijos, ka b\u016b\u0161u ko sliktu izdar\u012bjusi, tad atskan\u0113ja b\u0113rna br\u0113ciens. \u0100tri pa\u0137\u0113rusi dvie\u013cus, apsedzu mazo \u0137ermen\u012bti, jo kamer\u0101 bija \u0161ausm\u012bgi auksts. Skr\u0113ju atkal dauz\u012bt durvis. Pien\u0101ca cits zald\u0101ts, tas tad pateica par dzemd\u012bb\u0101m, un p\u0113c laici\u0146a atn\u0101ca vecm\u0101te un b\u0113rnu sakopa. Sat\u012bto b\u0113rni\u0146u es pa\u0146\u0113mu pie sevis, pasl\u0113pu aiz m\u0113te\u013ca azot\u0113 un caur dvieli p\u016btu siltu dva\u0161u. \u0112rika uz k\u0101du stundu iemiga dzi\u013c\u0101 mieg\u0101. Atmodusies vi\u0146a man pateic\u0101s par pal\u012bdz\u012bbu, un m\u0113s p\u0101rmai\u0146us sild\u012bj\u0101m mazo puis\u012bti, kuru turpat uz vietas “nokrist\u012bj\u0101m” par Persiju. Kaut ar\u012b skait\u012bjos jau izvese\u013cojusies, mani v\u0113l atst\u0101ja p\u0101ris ned\u0113\u013cas par aukli mazajam Persijam. Zinot, ka es p\u0113c nepilna gada atbr\u012bvo\u0161os, \u0112rika mani l\u016bdza apciemot vi\u0146as \u0123imeni un visu past\u0101st\u012bt. V\u0113l vi\u0146a l\u016bdza pasveicin\u0101t Gun\u0101ra Hermanovska sievu Valiju, jo Gun\u0101rs pats jau agr\u0101k bija noties\u0101ts uz desmit gadiem. Visu, k\u0101 \u0112rika bija v\u0113l\u0113jusies, es izpild\u012bju. T\u0101l\u0101ko \u0112rikas likteni uzzin\u0101ju jau p\u0113c atbr\u012bvo\u0161an\u0101s – no vi\u0146as v\u0113stul\u0113m m\u0101tei. Persijs miris vilcien\u0101 etapa laik\u0101, ce\u013c\u0101 uz Molotovas apgabalu, se\u0161u m\u0113ne\u0161u vecum\u0101. \u0112rika str\u0101d\u0101ja Molotovas me\u017eos. M\u0101te meitu gaid\u012bja ilgus gadus, bet, kad meita 1957. gad\u0101 atgriez\u0101s, m\u0101te n\u0101ko\u0161aj\u0101 dien\u0101 nomira. Es tur biju kl\u0101t un visu redz\u0113ju. Pati \u0112rika bija p\u0101rmain\u012bjusies l\u012bdz nepaz\u012b\u0161anai, \u013coti slima no p\u0101rstaip\u012b\u0161an\u0101s, viss vi\u0146ai s\u0101p\u0113ja, un, k\u0101dus p\u0101ris gadus pamoc\u012bjusies \u0161aj\u0101 s\u0101pju pasaul\u0113, vi\u0146a \u0161\u0137\u012br\u0101s no t\u0101s. Palika tikai meita Astr\u012bda.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Taj\u0101 dien\u0101, kad Persijs bija divdesmit dienu vecs, es vi\u0146u nosk\u016bpst\u012bju p\u0113d\u0113jo reizi, jo man pien\u0101ca pav\u0113le: “Ar mant\u0101m”. Dom\u0101ju, ved\u012bs atpaka\u013c uz darba kameru, n\u0113, izveda pa s\u0101nu v\u0101rtiem, p\u0101ri dzelzce\u013ca slied\u0113m, uz p\u0101rs\u016bt\u012b\u0161anas cietumu. Ja Centr\u0101lcietum\u0101 v\u0113l k\u0101 civiliz\u0101cijas paliekas bija saglab\u0101ju\u0161\u0101s divst\u0101vu dzelzs gultas ar vates matra\u010diem, tad p\u0101rs\u016bt\u012b\u0161anas cietum\u0101 nek\u0101 taml\u012bdz\u012bga nebija. No sienas l\u012bdz sienai, visas kameras garum\u0101, gultas atvietoja divst\u0101vu koka n\u0101ras, blak\u0161u pilnas. Kamera p\u0101rpild\u012bta, \u0137ermenis pie \u0137erme\u0146a, tie\u0161i k\u0101 \u0161protes bund\u017e\u0101. Par tik smalk\u0101m liet\u0101m k\u0101 palagiem un spilveniem dr\u012bkst\u0113ja tikai sap\u0146ot. Pagalv\u012b katrai sava mantu kule, un viss. Pat gaiss bija j\u0101aizmirst, to atvietoja vis\u0101das nejaukas smakas un mahorkas zilie d\u016bmi. Pa nakt\u012bm \u0146\u0113ma sievietes uz virtuvi kartupe\u013cus mizot. Es vienm\u0113r pieteicos, jo tur var\u0113ja elpot un uz\u0113st kartupe\u013cus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Reiz nakt\u012b k\u0101di v\u012brie\u0161u st\u0101vi v\u0113ja \u0101trum\u0101 iz\u0161\u0101v\u0101s cauri virtuvei,sac\u0113l\u0101s liels troksnis, visapk\u0101rt skr\u0113ja, tad sekoja pamat\u012bga \u0161au\u0161ana, k\u0101ds kliedza: “Stre\u013cai\u0137e, stre\u013cai\u0137e v \u017e…!” Izr\u0101d\u012bj\u0101s, ka bija notikusi no \u0101rpuses organiz\u0113ta b\u0113g\u0161ana. Divi tom\u0113r tiku\u0161i \u017eogam p\u0101ri, citus ievainoja, citus sab\u0101za karceros. Vien\u012bgi \u017e\u0113l, ka izb\u0113gu\u0161ie bija krimin\u0101lie. Cit\u0101 dien\u0101 ap dienas vidu, atgrie\u017eoties no \u012bslaic\u012bgas pastaigas, redz\u0113ju, k\u0101 no blakus kameras iznesa jauna v\u012brie\u0161a l\u012b\u0137i, “draugi” esot \u0161o uz k\u0101rt\u012bm nosp\u0113l\u0113ju\u0161i. J\u0101, p\u0101rs\u016bt\u012b\u0161anas cietum\u0101 viss atgad\u012bj\u0101s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

K\u0101d\u0101 pirmdien\u0101 ierad\u0101s “pirc\u0113ji”- brangi nobaroju\u0161ies krievu virsnieki, lik\u0101s, tikko t\u0101ds pakust\u0113sies, mundieris pa v\u012bl\u0113m p\u0101rspr\u0101gs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

M\u016bs visas nost\u0101d\u012bja gar\u0101 rind\u0101, un vien sauca: “\u0160uv\u0113jas, divus so\u013cus uz priek\u0161u!” Da\u017eas izg\u0101ja. “Pianistes, divus so\u013cus uz priek\u0161u!” Nebija nevienas. \u0160uv\u0113jas aizveda, kameras durvis aizcirt\u0101s. Noklaus\u012bjusies profesion\u0101lo cietumnie\u010du sarunas, daudz ko uzzin\u0101ju. Nometnes dz\u012bve esot jauka: pa\u0161darb\u012bbas koncerti, kino, dejas. Nu j\u0101, sieviete ar sievieti nometn\u0113s sadejoj\u0101s un t\u0101 turpina visu dz\u012bvi. J\u0101piez\u012bm\u0113, ka lielaj\u0101 kamer\u0101 m\u0113s bij\u0101m tikai divas latvietes, otra no\u0137erta, tirg\u016b p\u0101rdodot vilnas lakati\u0146us, som\u0101 ar\u012b divi atrasti – spekul\u0101cijas pants p\u0113c visiem likumiem. Bezgaisa telp\u0101 dz\u012bvojot, man uzn\u0101ca kaut kas l\u012bdz\u012bgs depresijai. Pras\u012bjos, lai \u0101tr\u0101k s\u016bta prom uz nometni. Man rupji atcirta – j\u0101gaida. Sadom\u0101ju pieteikt bada streiku. Ja bada streiku piesaka, atkal j\u0101iev\u0113ro likumi, tiku vieniniek\u0101. Un neno\u017e\u0113loju, lai ar\u012b k\u0101ds, bet tom\u0113r gaiss t\u0101d\u0101 vieniniek\u0101 ir. Var\u0113tu atsaukt bada streiku, bet tad neb\u016bs ties\u012bbas palikt vieniniek\u0101. Tr\u012bs dienas nepie\u0146\u0113mu p\u0101rtiku, ceturtaj\u0101 mani p\u0101rvietoja stacion\u0101r\u0101 un baroja m\u0101ksl\u012bgi, neiedom\u0101jami resnu gumijas zondi gr\u016b\u017eot ku\u0146\u0123\u012b. Divas dienas sp\u012bdzin\u0101\u0161ana ar m\u0101ksl\u012bgo baro\u0161anu turpin\u0101j\u0101s, tad nol\u0113mu\u0161i no manis atbr\u012bvoties un vienu pa\u0161u aizveda uz stingr\u0101 re\u017e\u012bma labo\u0161anas darbu nometni Sarkandaugav\u0101, biju\u0161\u0101 Provod\u0146ika r\u016bpn\u012bc\u0101. Man gan spriedum\u0101 nebija “stingrais”, bet visp\u0101r\u0113jais re\u017e\u012bms, bet ko es var\u0113ju teikt, kam s\u016bdz\u0113ties?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Provod\u0146ik\u0101 sadz\u012bves apst\u0101k\u013ci bija cilv\u0113c\u012bg\u0101ki, kaut ar\u012b koka n\u0101ras, bet uz n\u0101r\u0101m vat\u0113ti matra\u010di, palagi un spilveni un t\u012bras telpas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Taj\u0101 laik\u0101 Provod\u0146ik\u0101 bija pie divi t\u016bksto\u0161i ieslodz\u012bto. V\u012brie\u0161u zona no sievie\u0161u atdal\u012bta ar augstu d\u0113\u013cu s\u0113tu, pie spraug\u0101m pielipu\u0161i m\u012blas upuri, kuriem neviens sevi\u0161\u0137u v\u0113r\u012bbu nepiev\u0113rsa. Jau pirmaj\u0101 dien\u0101 satiku savas m\u0101tes advok\u0101ta Zvejnieka kunga meitu, tievu, trauslu b\u016btni ar brill\u012bt\u0113m, no Liep\u0101jas. Da\u017eas dienas v\u0113l\u0101k mani iepaz\u012bstin\u0101ja ar biju\u0161\u0101 Armijas ekonomisk\u0101 veikala direktora sievu Leja- Sauss kundzi un v\u0113l ar vair\u0101k\u0101m inteli\u0123ent\u0101m d\u0101m\u0101m. Leja – Sauss kundze man past\u0101st\u012bja, ka vi\u0146a ir no 1941. gada izs\u016bt\u012btaj\u0101m. 1948. gad\u0101 vi\u0146ai ir izdevies pa\u0161ai uz savu roku atgriezties Latvij\u0101. Par to vi\u0146a ties\u0101ta, piesprie\u017eot tr\u012bs gadus cietumsoda un p\u0113c tam nos\u016bt\u012b\u0161anu atpaka\u013c uz to pa\u0161u apgabalu Sib\u012brij\u0101, no kura izb\u0113gusi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ilg\u0101ku laiku nomoc\u012bjos ar p\u0101rdom\u0101m, kas ir necilv\u0113c\u012bgo likumu dev\u0113ji un izpild\u012bt\u0101ji un cik lielam ir j\u0101b\u016bt cie\u0161anu m\u0113ram cien\u012bjamai kundzei, kuras vien\u012bgais noziegums ir bijis tas, ka vi\u0146a bijusi prec\u0113jusies ar veikala direktoru – cilv\u0113ku, kam bija uztic\u0113ts Latvijas liel\u0101kais veikals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Provod\u0146ik\u0101 mani jau otraj\u0101 dien\u0101 pielika nakts mai\u0146\u0101 pie gatera z\u0101\u0123a par pal\u012bdzi. Z\u0101\u0123i atrad\u0101s v\u012brie\u0161u zon\u0101, v\u012brie\u0161i st\u016bma apa\u013cus ba\u013c\u0137us, lai no tiem ieg\u016btu d\u0113\u013cus, sievietes z\u0101\u0123a otr\u0101 gal\u0101 vilka d\u0113\u013cus, (t\u0101s skait\u012bj\u0101s pal\u012bdzes) tad lika uz pleca un nesa uz piest\u0101tni. Sarkandaugav\u0101 bar\u017e\u0101s citi v\u012brie\u0161i d\u0113\u013cus salika p\u0113c izm\u0113riem. D\u0113\u013ci smagi, rokas pilnas skabarg\u0101m, bet gaiss labs, smar\u017e\u012bgs – atsv\u0113ra smago darbu. Reiz man gad\u012bj\u0101s nopietn\u0101k ievainot roku un g\u0101ju uz medpunktu. Tur sarunas novirz\u012bj\u0101s uz da\u017e\u0101d\u0101m traum\u0101m, k\u0101das nometn\u0113 atgad\u0101s, un atkal negaid\u012bta, likten\u012bga sagad\u012b\u0161an\u0101s. M\u0101si\u0146a, Kurt man p\u0101rs\u0113ja roku, pirms diviem gadiem sniegusi pirmo pal\u012bdz\u012bbu manai m\u0101tei. Vi\u0146a man visos s\u012bkumos izst\u0101st\u012bja par manu m\u0101ti to, ko m\u0101te man nekad nepateica, laikam nev\u0113l\u0113dam\u0101s par to run\u0101t, lai neb\u016btu par jaunu j\u0101atceras visas p\u0101rdz\u012bvot\u0101s \u0161ausmas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mana m\u0101te kop\u0101 ar cit\u0101m ieslodz\u012btaj\u0101m str\u0101d\u0101jusi celtniec\u012bbas darbus. Vi\u0146\u0101m bija j\u0101nes \u0137ie\u0123e\u013ci un cementa java pa d\u0113\u013cu laipu uz aug\u0161\u0113jiem st\u0101viem, kur m\u016brnieki str\u0101d\u0101ja. Gad\u012bjies, ka siena piecu st\u0101vu augstum\u0101 nogruvusi, piecas sievietes, kuras taj\u0101 br\u012bd\u012b atrad\u0101s lej\u0101, palika zem \u0137ie\u0123e\u013cu gruve\u0161iem. Kam\u0113r gruve\u0161us att\u012brija, \u010detras bija jau miru\u0161as, mana m\u0101te, vien\u012bg\u0101 dz\u012bv\u0101, \u013coti smag\u0101 st\u0101vokl\u012b nog\u0101d\u0101ta uz ortop\u0113disko slimn\u012bcu. Nu mums atkal bija viela gar\u0101m p\u0101rdom\u0101m. Kur\u0161 ir tas, kas mani atveda uz vietu, kur m\u0101tei notika nelaime un nelaimes lieciniece man tagad p\u0101rs\u0113ja s\u012bku ievainojumu? To nevar vairs nosaukt par sagad\u012b\u0161anos. Citi teiktu – liktenis. Bet kas ir liktenis? Kas likte\u0146us nosaka? Neb\u016btu es to mu\u013c\u0137\u012bgo badastreiku bez nopietniem iemesliem uzs\u0101kusi, nekad neb\u016btu uzzin\u0101jusi, k\u0101 veidojies m\u0101tes liktenis. Tagad zinu un pats interesant\u0101kais – jau otr\u0101 dien\u0101 p\u0113c medpunkta apmekl\u0113juma mani “pirc\u0113js” nopirka un aizveda uz citu nometni!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0160im “pirc\u0113jam” vajadz\u0113ja m\u0101ksliniekus. T\u0101pat ieslodz\u012btos sast\u0101d\u012bja rind\u0101, bet bija v\u0113l viena pras\u012bba: lai b\u016btu pirm\u0101 sodam\u012bba un lai sods nep\u0101rsniegtu tr\u012bs gadus. Labo\u0161anas darbu nometne Nr.6 atrad\u0101s net\u0101lu no Brasas stacijas. T\u0101 skait\u012bj\u0101s inval\u012bdu nometne, bet, ja vajadz\u0113ja k\u0101du, kas ko prot, tad “piepirka” t\u0101dus ar maziem sodiem. Nometn\u0113 inval\u012bdi nagloja taras kastes, citi izgatavoja r\u016bpn\u012bcas VEF pas\u016bt\u012bt\u0101s sh\u0113mas, bet vien\u0101 paliel\u0101 darbn\u012bc\u0101 gatavoja \u0161\u016bpu\u013czirgus. Form\u0101s iem\u012bc\u012bja pap\u012bra un l\u012bmes masu (papj\u0113ma\u0161\u0113), kr\u0101sn\u012bs izkalt\u0113ja, samont\u0113ja, nosl\u012bp\u0113ja un gatavos zirdzi\u0146us nokr\u0101soja, tr\u016bka tikai m\u0101kslinieka, kur\u0161 ar e\u013c\u013cas kr\u0101su uzgleznotu skaistas, vij\u012bgas kr\u0113pes, izteiksm\u012bgas acis, seglus, iemuktus, – nu t\u0101, lai zirdzi\u0146\u0161 patiktu gan b\u0113rniem, gan vi\u0146u vec\u0101kiem. O, t\u0101ds darbs man gan patika! Ar katru dienu mani zirdzi\u0146i izn\u0101ca skaist\u0101ki, uz segliem ar tievo oti\u0146u un ko\u0161\u0101m kr\u0101s\u0101m saz\u012bm\u0113ju skaistus latvie\u0161u rakstus, gan saul\u012bte, gan ausekl\u012b\u0161us, un tie izskat\u012bj\u0101s tie\u0161\u0101m jauki, priec\u0101jos pati, priec\u0101j\u0101s citi, un nometnes priek\u0161nieki nebeidza mani slav\u0113t. Vi\u0146i tak nezin\u0101ja un nepazina m\u016bsu tautiskos rakstus, vi\u0146i v\u0113rt\u0113ja tikai skaistumu. Es ar\u012b neteicu, ka tie ir m\u016bsu nacion\u0101lie raksti un ka \u012bsten\u012bb\u0101 t\u0101 nav mana m\u0101ksla, bet tautas m\u0101kslinieku rad\u012bt\u0101. Visum\u0101 par dz\u012bvi sestaj\u0101 nometn\u0113 s\u016bdz\u0113ties nevar\u0113ja. Piem\u0113rots darbs, jauki cilv\u0113ki, v\u012brie\u0161i ar sieviet\u0113m visu dienu kop\u0101 str\u0101d\u0101ja, jokoja, sm\u0113j\u0101s, tikai nakt\u012b gul\u0113ja atsevi\u0161\u0137\u0101s barak\u0101s. Se\u0161os m\u0113ne\u0161os biju ieman\u012bjusies ar br\u012bvu roku tik labi gleznot kr\u0113pes un acis, ka negrib\u0113j\u0101s vairs no zirdzi\u0146iem \u0161\u0137irties, labpr\u0101t gadiem ilgi vilktu ar oti\u0146u pa \u0161\u016bpu\u013czirdzi\u0146u gludajiem kakliem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u0113c atbr\u012bvo\u0161an\u0101s b\u0113d\u0101jos, ka nedr\u012bkst\u0113ju iet un n\u0101kt uz nometni k\u0101 uz darbu. Bet man iz\u0146\u0113muma k\u0101rt\u0101 at\u013c\u0101va gan atn\u0101kt k\u0101dreiz ciemos pie biju\u0161ajiem darba kol\u0113\u0123iem. Es to ar\u012b dar\u012bju: izcepu m\u0101j\u0101s cepumus vai k\u016bkas un nesu draugiem, at\u013c\u0101va pat satikties, parun\u0101t. Bet, kad centr\u0101l\u0101 univers\u0101lveikala skatlog\u0101 ieraudz\u012bju savus zirdzi\u0146us, priec\u0101jos no sirds. Tie tak ir mani! Manu roku darbs glaun\u0101k\u0101 R\u012bgas veikal\u0101!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

VISS J\u0100S\u0100K NO JAUNA<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Nu es sevi uzskat\u012bju par lielu speci\u0101listi rota\u013clietu apglezno\u0161anas profesij\u0101 un, nezaud\u0113jot laiku, g\u0101ju pras\u012bt darbu arte\u013ca “M\u0101kslinieks” rota\u013clietu darbn\u012bc\u0101. Nen\u0101c\u0101s p\u0101r\u0101k gr\u016bti p\u0101rliecin\u0101t arte\u013ca priek\u0161s\u0113d\u0113t\u0101ju Pormali, ka lab\u0101ku par mani nekur neatrad\u012bs, ka ar br\u012bvu roku varu ar oti\u0146u vilkt garas jo garas l\u012bnijas un to uz vietas varu pier\u0101d\u012bt. Mani pie\u0146\u0113ma. Biju jau nok\u0101rtojusi pie rakst\u012b\u0161anos pie t\u0113va, ar\u012b darb\u0101 ar mani bija apmierin\u0101ti. Var\u0113ju atkal z\u012bm\u0113t kr\u0113pes, tikai maziem koka zirdzi\u0146iem. Bie\u017ei ciemojos pie \u0112rikas m\u0101tes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vi\u0146a labpr\u0101t man deva las\u012bt \u0112rikas v\u0113stules, un man vair\u0101kas reizes n\u0101c\u0101s visu st\u0101st\u012bt no gala. \u0112rikas m\u0101te man k\u013cuva \u013coti tuva, un bija bezgala \u017e\u0113l, redzot vi\u0146as aizie\u0161anu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pie Gun\u0101ra Hermanovska sievas ar\u012b k\u013cuvu par t\u0101du gaid\u012btu ciemi\u0146u, jo skumjas un s\u0101pes cilv\u0113kus satuvina, un ir labi, ja ir cilv\u0113ki, ar kuriem var run\u0101t visu, kas uz sirds. T\u0101da bija Valija Hermanovska. Katru reizi, kad Magadan\u0101 s\u0101k\u0101s ku\u0123ojam\u0101 sezona un var\u0113ja s\u016bt\u012bt p\u0101rtiku, cukuru un spe\u0137i, Valija mani pal\u016bdza uzrakst\u012bt krievu burtiem adresi uz pak\u0101m. (Ar\u012b Gun\u0101ru m\u0113s sagaid\u012bj\u0101m m\u0101j\u0101s un kop\u012bgi nosvin\u0113j\u0101m 1958. gadu.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Valijas Hermanovskas dz\u012bvokl\u012b sastapu daudz interesantu person\u012bbu. Viens no pirmajiem, ar ko tiku iepaz\u012bstin\u0101ta, bija Gun\u0101rs C\u012bl\u012btis, toreiz M\u0101kslas akad\u0113mijas tre\u0161\u0101 kursa students. Jauns, gl\u012bts cilv\u0113ks ar br\u012bni\u0161\u0137\u012bg\u0101m br\u016bn\u0101m ac\u012bm, bet tie apavi gan! K\u0101 var m\u0101ksliniekiem patikt staig\u0101t pa ielu smagos rupjos \u0101das “tankos”?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ta\u010du k\u0101das man ties\u012bbas vi\u0146am aizr\u0101d\u012bt? Varb\u016bt cilv\u0113kam nebija naudas gl\u012btu apavu ieg\u0101dei, bet varb\u016bt vi\u0146am pati ka citus \u0161ok\u0113t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

C\u012bl\u012btim ar mani saist\u012bj\u0101s k\u0101ds nodoms sakar\u0101 ar drauga labkl\u0101j\u012bbu. T\u012bros labdar\u012bbas nol\u016bkos vi\u0146\u0161 gribot mani iepaz\u012bstin\u0101t ar jaunu M\u0101kslas akad\u0113mijas studentu, kuram visa dz\u012bve sag\u0101jusi strupce\u013c\u0101 un, lai vi\u0146\u0161 no b\u0113d\u0101m nes\u0101ktu dzert, vi\u0146am b\u016btu vajadz\u012bga meitene, tie\u0161i t\u0101da k\u0101 es. Es gan centos atrun\u0101ties, ka neveiksminieku gl\u0101b\u0161ana nav mana profesija un, ja drauga cie\u0161anu iemesls ir atraid\u012bta m\u012blest\u012bba, tad visas p\u016bles var izr\u0101d\u012bties velt\u012bgas. Ta\u010du p\u0113c C\u012bl\u012b\u0161a dom\u0101m, vajadz\u0113ja m\u0113\u0123in\u0101t, un tas viss esot j\u0101dara \u0101tri, turpat vai ned\u0113\u013cas laik\u0101. Nevar\u0113ju saprast, kam t\u0101da steiga, turkl\u0101t mani tas viss neinteres\u0113ja, man pa\u0161ai probl\u0113mu netr\u016bka – k\u0101 apiet likumu, lai tiktu k\u0101d\u0101 augstskol\u0101. Es dom\u0101ju par izgl\u012bt\u012bbas turpin\u0101\u0161anu, jo visas draudzenes jau kaut kur, kaut ko stud\u0113ja. Mani \u0161\u012b gl\u0101b\u0161anas misija nemaz nevilin\u0101ja, t\u0101d\u0113\u013c ar Bruno Celmi\u0146u tikties nev\u0113l\u0113jos. Un tom\u0113r tik\u0161an\u0101s notika, gan ne glu\u017ei p\u0113c ned\u0113\u013cas un ne glu\u017ei bez manas piekri\u0161anas. C\u012bl\u012btis, vienojies ar Celmi\u0146u, mani uzaicin\u0101ja uz restor\u0101nu. Ieraugot Celmi\u0146u, nek\u0101d\u0101 saj\u016bsm\u0101 nebiju. Citas gan par vi\u0146u j\u016bsmoja, bet par gaumi jau nestr\u012bdas. Restor\u0101n\u0101 pavad\u012btais laiks man \u0161\u0137ita vienmu\u013c\u0161, neinteresants. P\u0113c restor\u0101na, k\u0101 jau tas toreiz pie m\u0101ksliniekiem p\u0113c trad\u012bcijas bija pie\u0146emts, sekoja viz\u012bte pie Leo Kokles. Es gan m\u0113\u0123in\u0101ju protest\u0113t, sac\u012bdama, ka nav piekl\u0101j\u012bgi v\u0113l\u0101 vakara stund\u0101 citiem mieru trauc\u0113t, bet p\u0101r\u0113jie nepiek\u0101p\u0101s. Leo Kokles viesm\u012bl\u012bba peln\u012bja apbr\u012bno\u0161anu, vien\u012bgi Kokles mamma nedaudz paburk\u0161\u0137\u0113ja. At\u0161\u0137ir\u012bb\u0101 no daudz\u0101m cit\u0101m mana vecuma un mana laika meiten\u0113m mani boh\u0113mas dz\u012bv\u0113 ievilkt nevar\u0113ja. Laikam biju savam vecumam jau sen p\u0101raugusi, p\u0101r\u0101k daudz nopietnu probl\u0113mu, dramatisku piedz\u012bvojumu un milz\u012bgais naids pret past\u0101vo\u0161o iek\u0101rtu man ne\u013c\u0101va nodoties bezr\u016bp\u012bgai dz\u012bvei. Manas domas, lai kur es ietu, lai ko dar\u012btu, visu laiku kav\u0113j\u0101s pie t\u0101s manas tautas da\u013cas, kurai j\u0101pavada dz\u012bve aiz rest\u0113m vai t\u0101laj\u0101s Sib\u012brijas tundr\u0101s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bet vai pasaule to zin? Un, ja nezin, tad ko es \u0161aj\u0101 jom\u0101 var\u0113tu dar\u012bt? Mani moc\u012bja it k\u0101 vainas apzi\u0146a: es te s\u0113\u017eu, nodarbojos ar mazsvar\u012bgu rota\u013clietu kr\u0101so\u0161anu, bet varb\u016bt man vajadz\u0113tu m\u0113\u0123in\u0101t p\u0101riet robe\u017eu un paveikt kaut ko svar\u012bg\u0101ku, rakst\u012bt br\u012bv\u0101s pasaules av\u012bz\u0113s paties\u012bbu par p\u0101rest\u012bb\u0101m un vardarb\u012bb\u0101m, k\u0101das padomju varas apst\u0101k\u013cos j\u0101cie\u0161 god\u012bgiem Baltijas valstu iedz\u012bvot\u0101jiem. Celmi\u0146\u0161 mani \u0101tri saprata. Vi\u0146\u0161 nekad vairs mani neaicin\u0101ja uz iedzer\u0161an\u0101m, glu\u017ei pret\u0113ji, vi\u0146\u0161 prata izlikties, ka ar\u012b vi\u0146u t\u0101s neinteres\u0113. Vi\u0146\u0161 bie\u017ei n\u0101ca mani sagaid\u012bt no darba ar ziediem rok\u0101. Diezgan bie\u017ei vi\u0146am bija nopirktas bi\u013cetes uz kino, te\u0101tri vai operu. Ta\u010du reiz\u0113m vi\u0146\u0161 ner\u0101d\u012bj\u0101s veselu ned\u0113\u013cu. Man nekad nen\u0101ca pr\u0101t\u0101 doma vi\u0146u uzmekl\u0113t vai pajaut\u0101t k\u0101dam, kur palicis. N\u0113, ja vajadz\u0113s mani satikt, zin\u0101s, kur esmu atrodama, ja n\u0113, nevajaga. Bet, kad Celmi\u0146\u0161, labi \u0123\u0113rbies, ierad\u0101s atkal ar ziediem un te\u0101tra bi\u013cet\u0113m, es g\u0101ju, nejaut\u0101dama, k\u0101 pavad\u012bjis pag\u0101ju\u0161o ned\u0113\u013cu, jo man tas bija vienaldz\u012bgi. Manas darba biedrenes bija st\u0101v\u0101 saj\u016bsm\u0101 par t\u0101du kavalieri, kur\u0161 ar ziediem vien n\u0101k, un deva man da\u017e\u0101dus gan gudrus, gan mu\u013c\u0137\u012bgus padomus, bet mani tas viss it k\u0101 nesk\u0101ra. Un k\u0101ds tur br\u012bnums, ja ziedus nes puisis, kam m\u0101te pu\u0137u veikala vad\u012bt\u0101ja. B\u016btu j\u0101br\u012bn\u0101s, ja nenestu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Te\u0101tru apmekl\u0113jumiem sekoja uzaicin\u0101jums uz M\u0101kslas akad\u0113mijas balli. Drusku \u0161aub\u012bjos, tad tom\u0113r izl\u0113mu iet. Pati uz\u0161uvu diezgan greznu balles t\u0113rpu, bl\u016bzi no vecas sarkana z\u012bda kleitas, bet melniem gariem z\u012bda sv\u0101rkiem dr\u0113bi pirku, v\u0113l atrad\u0101s zelta brok\u0101ta gabali\u0146\u0161, ar ko t\u0113rpu izgreznot. Viss kop\u0101 izskat\u012bj\u0101s labi, un redz\u0113ju, ka ball\u0113 esmu viena no elegant\u0101kaj\u0101m. K\u0101ds mani kop\u0101 ar Celmi\u0146u nofotograf\u0113ja. T\u0101 bija m\u016bsu pirm\u0101 kop\u012bg\u0101 bilde.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u0113c nepilniem diviem gadiem Bruno Celmi\u0146\u0161 mani ofici\u0101li bildin\u0101ja, bet es par to pat dzird\u0113t negrib\u0113ju. Nev\u0113l\u0113jos savu dz\u012bvi saist\u012bt ar cita cilv\u0113ka dz\u012bvi, jo baid\u012bjos zaud\u0113t savu neatkar\u012bbu un br\u012bv\u012bbu. Biju uzaugusi viena, un vienatn\u0113 jutos daudz lab\u0101k nek\u0101 otra cilv\u0113ka sabiedr\u012bb\u0101: vienaldz\u012bga, vai t\u0101 bija m\u0101te, vai tas bija t\u0113vs, vai tas b\u016btu v\u012brs. Mana m\u0101te jau kop\u0161 jaun\u012bbas bija \u013coti nervoza vai, k\u0101 vec\u0101m\u0101te m\u0113dza teikt, – sav\u0101dniece. B\u0113rn\u012bb\u0101, cik vien bija iesp\u0113jams, centos izvair\u012bties no tik\u0161an\u0101s ar m\u0101ti. Reiz man pat izdev\u0101s veselu ned\u0113\u013cu negad\u012bties vi\u0146ai ce\u013c\u0101. M\u0113s dz\u012bvoj\u0101m katra sav\u0101 st\u0101v\u0101. K\u0101dreiz, kad v\u0113l biju maza, es uz m\u0101ti bie\u017ei dusmojos par to, ka vi\u0146a vakaros sav\u0101 otr\u0101 st\u0101va istab\u0101 stund\u0101m ilgi sp\u0113l\u0113ja vijoli un bija vienaldz\u012bga pret mani, bet v\u0113l\u0101k priec\u0101jos, ka mani netrauc\u0113, jo tad es var\u0113ju dar\u012bt visu, kas man ien\u0101ca pr\u0101t\u0101. Asto\u0146u gadu vecum\u0101 pratu veikli izlav\u012bties no m\u0101j\u0101m un, sadraudz\u0113jusies ar ugunsdz\u0113s\u0113jiem kuriem toreiz bija j\u0101de\u017e\u016br\u0113 kino izr\u0101\u017eu laik\u0101, no ugunsdz\u0113s\u0113ju lo\u017eas noskat\u012bjos sam\u0113r\u0101 daudz pieaugu\u0161o filmu. Tur es redz\u0113ju, k\u0101 skaistas “d\u0101mas” s\u0113\u017e b\u0101ros uz augstiem kr\u0113sliem ar \u013coti gar\u0101m cigare\u0161u iemut\u0113m rok\u0101. P\u0101rn\u0101kusi m\u0101j\u0101s, pie spogu\u013ca \u0137\u0113mojos pakal un nav br\u012bnums, ka s\u0101ku uzsm\u0113\u0137\u0113t asto\u0146u gadu vecum\u0101. Taj\u0101 laik\u0101 mans dz\u012bves m\u0113r\u0137is bija k\u013c\u016bt par t\u0101du b\u0101ra “d\u0101mu”.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Desmit gadu vecum\u0101 rad\u0101s citi m\u0113r\u0137i. S\u0101ku interes\u0113ties, k\u0101 \u0101tr\u0101k apg\u016bt ang\u013cu valodu, lai var\u0113tu aizlaisties prom no m\u0101j\u0101m – pla\u0161\u0101 pasaul\u0113, laikam ar\u012b kinofilmu iespaid\u0101. Sapratu, ka ar v\u0101cu valodu, kuru toreiz zin\u0101ju perfekti, jo taj\u0101 laik\u0101 g\u0101ju v\u0101cu pamatskol\u0101 un kop\u0161 dzim\u0161anas m\u0101te ar mani cit\u0101di nerun\u0101ja, vien nepietiek. Biju nepaciet\u012bga. Man jau taj\u0101 vecum\u0101 grib\u0113j\u0101s visur b\u016bt, gan Abes\u012bnij\u0101 (tagad\u0113j\u0101 Etiopij\u0101), gan Austr\u0101lij\u0101, Argent\u012bn\u0101 un Braz\u012blij\u0101, it k\u0101 bez manis tur neviens nevar\u0113tu iztikt. Te v\u0113l j\u0101piemin, ka m\u0101ti viena laiku apciemoja t\u0101ds draugs, kur\u0161 ilgus gadus bija kl\u012bdis pa pasauli. Atgriezies dzimten\u0113, labpr\u0101t stund\u0101m ilgi st\u0101st\u012bja vis\u0101dus br\u012bnumus. Es, izlikdam\u0101s, ka rota\u013c\u0101jos ar lell\u0113m, visu noklaus\u012bjos un iegaum\u0113ju. T\u0101 bija mana izt\u0113les pasaule. Ce\u013coju ar\u012b viena pati ar pirkstu pa karti, iegaum\u0113ju visus nosaukumus. V\u0113l\u0101kos gados daudz las\u012bju, visu p\u0113c k\u0101rtas, neko ne\u0161\u0137irojot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Atceros, kad man bija se\u0161padsmit gadu, m\u0113s ar m\u0101ti divat\u0101 reiz sau\u013coj\u0101mies pludmal\u0113 un m\u016bsu starp\u0101 norisin\u0101j\u0101s, var teikt, vien\u012bg\u0101 saruna par dz\u012bvi. Toreiz m\u0101te teica: “Ja tu dz\u012bv\u0113 gribi b\u016bt nelaim\u012bga, tad apprecies un dab\u016b b\u0113rnus.” Es teikto uz sevi neattiecin\u0101ju, n\u0113, manas domas virz\u012bj\u0101s cit\u0101 virzien\u0101. Sapratu, ka mana m\u0101te savu laul\u012bbu un mani uzskat\u012bja par savas dz\u012bves nelaimes c\u0113lo\u0146iem. Esmu secin\u0101jusi, ka ac\u012bmredzot mana m\u0101te p\u0101r\u0101k jauna apprec\u0113j\u0101s, t\u0101d\u0113\u013c nol\u0113mu nesteigties, lai neizdar\u012btu t\u0101du k\u013c\u016bdu, kura v\u0113l\u0101k b\u016btu j\u0101no\u017e\u0113lo.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vienreiz Celmi\u0146am iemin\u0113jos, vai neb\u016btu pareiz\u0101k mums abiem vispirms par\u016bp\u0113ties par izgl\u012bt\u012bbu, nobeigt studijas un tad dom\u0101t par \u0123imenes dz\u012bvi. Neko ar saviem pr\u0101t\u012bgiem padomiem nepan\u0101cu. Glu\u017ei otr\u0101di – Celmi\u0146\u0161 sadusmoj\u0101s un teica: “Nedom\u0101, ka tu var\u0113si pastaig\u0101t kop\u0101 ar mani, k\u0101dus gadi\u0146us, tad ar k\u0101du citu, \u0146em v\u0113r\u0101, cita neb\u016bs, es to vienk\u0101r\u0161i nepie\u013cau\u0161u. Tu ne ar vienu citu uz ielas par\u0101d\u012bties nevar\u0113si.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tie jau izklaus\u012bj\u0101s k\u0101 draudi. Biju apjukusi un nezin\u0101ju nek\u0101 pr\u0101t\u012bg\u0101ka, ko atbild\u0113t, t\u0101d\u0113\u013c teicu: “Bet man tak neviena cita nav!” “Nu, ja nav, tad labi, un r\u012bt pat ejam uz dzimtsarakstu noda\u013cu.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“K\u0101 tad t\u0101, bez iepriek\u0161\u0113jas sagatavo\u0161an\u0101s?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Tam nav j\u0101gatavojas.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Bet es gribu padom\u0101t, bez tam man pa\u0161ai ar\u012b ir ties\u012bbas par savu n\u0101kotni lemt. Tu v\u0113l neesi dz\u012bv\u0113 gr\u016bt\u012bbas piedz\u012bvojis, es esmu un man ir nopietn\u0101ka pieeja vis\u0101m liet\u0101m nek\u0101 tev.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To teicu, dom\u0101dama, k\u0101 Celmi\u0146\u0161, m\u0101tes lutin\u0101ts, visp\u0101r neko no dz\u012bves nezina, l\u012bdz\u012bgi tiem simtiem t\u016bksto\u0161iem jaunie\u0161u, kuriem vec\u0101ki neko nav st\u0101st\u012bju\u0161i, vienk\u0101r\u0161i aiz piesardz\u012bbas, lai vi\u0146u b\u0113rni, uzzin\u0101dami p\u0101r\u0101k daudz, kaut kur neizp\u013c\u0101p\u0101tos vai, v\u0113l vair\u0101k, nacion\u0101lu j\u016btu p\u0101r\u0146emti un alkdami p\u0113c atrieb\u012bbas un taisn\u012bbas nes\u0101ktu dumpoties. Bez t\u0101m Celmi\u0146\u0161 toreiz atst\u0101ja t\u0101da nenopietna cilv\u0113ka iespaidu es jutos par vi\u0146u daudz vec\u0101ka, bet \u012bsten\u012bb\u0101 vi\u0146\u0161 bija divus gadus vec\u0101ks par mani. Reiz es vi\u0146am to pateicu, tad vi\u0146\u0161, negrib\u0113dams atpalikt, man past\u0101st\u012bja to, ko nekad nevienam nebija teicis. Tas bija dr\u016bms st\u0101sts par to, k\u0101 vi\u0146\u0161 se\u0161padsmit gadu vecum\u0101 pa\u0146emts v\u0101cu karadienest\u0101 par pretgaisa aizsardz\u012bbas izpal\u012bgu, ko vi\u0146\u0161 tur piedz\u012bvojis, k\u0101 nok\u013cuvis Berl\u012bn\u0113 un p\u0113c tam krievu g\u016bst\u0101. P\u0113c diviem g\u016bst\u0101 pavad\u012btajiem gadiem atgriezies m\u0101j\u0101s pusdz\u012bvs, utains, ar l\u016bku v\u012bz\u0113m k\u0101j\u0101s. L\u016bku v\u012bzes visus gadus glab\u0101j\u0101s vi\u0146a m\u0101jas b\u0113ni\u0146os un laikam v\u0113l \u0161odien tur kar\u0101jas, ja vien m\u0101ja nav nojaukta. V\u012bzes esmu redz\u0113jusi un rok\u0101 tur\u0113jusi. No t\u0101s dienas m\u016bsu attiec\u012bb\u0101s daudz kas main\u012bj\u0101s. S\u0101ku uzskat\u012bt vi\u0146u par sev l\u012bdzv\u0113rt\u012bgu. M\u016bsu sarunu t\u0113mas k\u013cuva satur\u012bg\u0101kas, kop\u012bgi var\u0113j\u0101m kritiz\u0113t partiju un vald\u012bbu, mums vienam no otra nebija j\u0101baid\u0101s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

LIKUM\u012aG\u0100 LAUL\u012aB\u0100<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Cik tas vienk\u0101r\u0161i – aiziet divi uz dzimtsarakstu noda\u013cu, un p\u0113c piec\u0101m min\u016bt\u0113m ir v\u012brs un sieva. Toreiz pat balt\u0101s br\u016btes kleitas nebija mod\u0113. Mans t\u0113vs pret laul\u012bb\u0101m neiebilda, bet m\u0101tei uz Liep\u0101ju par varb\u016bt\u0113jo laul\u012bbu es pat nepap\u016bl\u0113jos pazi\u0146ot, kaut k\u0101 neien\u0101ca pr\u0101t\u0101, ka tas oblig\u0101ti b\u016btu j\u0101dara. L\u012bdz p\u0113d\u0113jam br\u012bdim pati v\u0113l nebiju ar sevi skaidr\u012bb\u0101. P\u0113c m\u0113ne\u0161a m\u0101tei pazi\u0146oju, ka man cits uzv\u0101rds. Celmi\u0146a t\u0113vs, t\u0101pat k\u0101 mans t\u0113vs, ar prieku t\u0101du notikumu atbalst\u012bja, bet m\u0101te pretoj\u0101s, negrib\u0113dama savu vien\u012bgo, \u013coti v\u0113lu dzimu\u0161o d\u0113lu atdot sve\u0161ai sievietei. Un t\u0101, bez \u012bpa\u0161as saj\u016bsmas, it k\u0101 pavisam nejau\u0161i, nevienam neko \u012bsti nepateiku\u0161i, it k\u0101 pastaig\u0101damies, bij\u0101m sare\u0123istr\u0113ju\u0161ies. T\u0101 sagad\u012bj\u0101s, ka vajadz\u012bgos tr\u012bs rub\u013cus re\u0123istr\u0101cijas nodevai ar\u012b kaut kur aiz\u0146\u0113m\u0101mies, jo mums pa\u0161iem to taj\u0101 br\u012bdi nebija. Taj\u0101 dien\u0101 vien\u012bgais l\u012bdzzin\u0101t\u0101js, mans t\u0113vs, sar\u016bp\u0113ja mums vakari\u0146u galdu. Otr\u0101 dien\u0101 bij\u0101m uzaicin\u0101ti uz pusdien\u0101m pie v\u012brat\u0113va un vi\u0146a dz\u012bvesbiedres.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pie likum\u012bg\u0101 v\u012bra un vi\u0146a m\u0101tes es nekad m\u0101j\u0101s nebiju bijusi, kaut kas mani attur\u0113ja, jo zin\u0101ju, ka mani tur negaida, esmu nev\u0113lama persona. T\u0101pat k\u0101 daudzi citi latvie\u0161u taut\u012bbas jaunlaul\u0101tie, m\u0113s dz\u012bvoj\u0101m katrs sav\u0101 viet\u0101. V\u012brs n\u0101ca katru vakaru paciemoties, bet, l\u012bdzko palika pa nakti, t\u0101 cent\u012bgie s\u0113tnieki \u0112rma\u0146i steidz\u012bgi pazi\u0146oja milicijai – un naktskontrole kl\u0101t. Nevienu no mums neapcietin\u0101ja, bet soda nauda desmit rub\u013cu apm\u0113r\u0101 j\u0101samaks\u0101. Par naktskontrol\u0113m Celmi\u0146\u0161 bija sa\u0161utis, man ar\u012b t\u0101s krita uz nerviem, bet ja jau dz\u012bvojam br\u012bv\u0101 zem\u0113, tad j\u0101pierod pie t\u0101das “br\u012bv\u012bbas”, k\u0101du mums un daudziem citiem latvie\u0161iem okupanti uzspieda. J\u0101, vi\u0146\u0161 vair\u0101kk\u0101rt grib\u0113ja mani vest pie sevis, es teicu, ka \u0101tr\u0101k neie\u0161u, kam\u0113r v\u012bram\u0101te mani aicin\u0101s. Un notika t\u0101, ka aicin\u0101ja. V\u0113l vair\u0101k, pati ar taksometru atbrauca ka\u013c, aizveda mani k\u0101 princesi. Pirmaj\u0101 laik\u0101 attiec\u012bbas ar v\u012bra m\u0101ti izveidoj\u0101s t\u012bri diplom\u0101tiskas, bet ar laiku k\u013cuva arvien sirsn\u012bg\u0101kas. Sevi\u0161\u0137i sirsn\u012bgas un draudz\u012bgas k\u013cuv\u0101m tad, kad Bruno uzrad\u0101s otr\u0101, tre\u0161\u0101 un v\u0113l ceturt\u0101 sieva… Tad v\u012bram\u0101te n\u0101ca pie manis un s\u016bdz\u0113j\u0101s par nesaska\u0146\u0101m. M\u016bsu kopdz\u012bves laik\u0101, tie\u0161i t\u0101pat k\u0101 pirms t\u0101s, Celmi\u0146am bija un palika ni\u0137is nozust jeb, k\u0101 saka, “iekrist”. Es neparko neg\u0101ju “iekritu\u0161o” mekl\u0113t, vien\u012bgi tad, kad v\u012bram\u0101te s\u016bt\u012bja, uzmekl\u0113ju v\u012bru ar v\u0101rdiem: “M\u0101te s\u016bt\u012bja.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Reiz v\u012bram\u0101te mani uzc\u0113la nakts vid\u016b un jaut\u0101ja, kas es par sievu esot, ja neejot v\u012bru mekl\u0113t. Jutos dzi\u013ci nelaim\u012bga par iztrauc\u0113to miegu un teicu, ka man adrese nav atst\u0101ta un nezinu, kur j\u0101mekl\u0113. Vi\u0146a man iedeva 50 rub\u013cus taks\u012btim, lai braucot mekl\u0113t. M\u012b\u013c\u0101 miera d\u0113\u013c k\u0101du stundu pavizin\u0101jos pa tuk\u0161aj\u0101m R\u012bgas iel\u0101m, tad atgriezos un teicu, ka nekur neatradu. Un es ar\u012b nekad neb\u016btu nakt\u012b klauv\u0113jusi pie sve\u0161u cilv\u0113ku durv\u012bm, lepnums ne\u013cautu. Pa vidu atgad\u012bj\u0101s priec\u012bg\u0101ki br\u012b\u017ei, viens no tiem – liel\u0101 T\u0113va un Skolot\u0101ja, Sta\u013cina n\u0101ves zi\u0146a.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Darba viet\u0101 to pateica pa viet\u0113jo radio. Es tad izsaucos: “K\u0101da laime, beidzot k\u0101di sapratu\u0161ies un vi\u0146u nov\u0101ku\u0161i.” Vair\u0101ki darbabiedri, man pien\u0101ku\u0161i, paspieda roku, bet sirsn\u012bgi l\u016bdza neizrun\u0101ties, visiem joproj\u0101m no kaut k\u0101 bija bailes. Materi\u0101l\u0101 zi\u0146\u0101 Sta\u013cina n\u0101ve m\u016bsu \u0123imenei bija \u012bpa\u0161i izdev\u012bga. K\u0101 jau min\u0113ju, v\u012bram\u0101te str\u0101d\u0101ja pu\u0137u veikal\u0101. Tur nu organiz\u0101cijas un iest\u0101des pas\u016bt\u012bja lielus skuju vainagus. Vainagiem vajadz\u0113ja sarkanas lentes ar zelta burtiem. Visas lentes es viena pati uzrakst\u012bju: m\u012b\u013cajam, d\u0101rgajam, di\u017eajam Sta\u013cinam – l\u012bdz riebumam.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Par katru lenti sa\u0146\u0113mu 50 rub\u013cus, t\u0101 toreiz skait\u012bj\u0101s vienk\u0101r\u0161a str\u0101dnieka dienas alga, bet es rakst\u012bju desmit lentes dien\u0101 un tiku pie jauna, \u013coti mod\u012bga m\u0113te\u013ca.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pirmaj\u0101 laul\u012bbas gad\u0101 Celmi\u0146\u0161 akad\u0113mij\u0101 piedal\u012bj\u0101s k\u0101d\u0101 iedzer\u0161an\u0101, kur\u0101 nokurin\u0101ja kr\u0101sn\u012b da\u017eas taburetes. Celmi\u0146am pateica, ka vi\u0146u no akad\u0113mijas izsl\u0113dz. P\u0101rn\u0101cis m\u0101j\u0101s, v\u012brs staig\u0101ja apk\u0101rt t\u0101ds gal\u012bgi sa\u0161\u013cucis un b\u0113d\u012bgs, neuzdro\u0161in\u0101j\u0101s neko st\u0101st\u012bt. Kad visu k\u0101 no palaid\u0146a puikas biju izvilkusi, un konstat\u0113jusi, ka vi\u0146a vaina visniec\u012bg\u0101k\u0101, otr\u0101 dien\u0101 aizg\u0101ju uz akad\u0113miju pie rektora Kruglova un teicu apm\u0113ram t\u0101: Celmi\u0146\u0161 visu laiku atrad\u0101s m\u0101tes g\u0101d\u012bb\u0101, un par to laiku es neatbildu, turpm\u0101k par vi\u0146u r\u016bp\u0113\u0161os es, vi\u0146a sieva, un nekas taml\u012bdz\u012bgs vairs nenotiks. Kruglovam mana valoda patika, un vi\u0146\u0161 atsauca izsl\u0113g\u0161anu, t\u0101d\u0101 veid\u0101 Celmi\u0146am laim\u0113j\u0101s nobeigt akad\u0113miju. Vien\u012bgi man izn\u0101ca diezgan daudz piestr\u0101d\u0101t. Celmi\u0146am neparko negrib\u0113j\u0101s apmekl\u0113t lekcijas, it \u012bpa\u0161i t\u0101s par dialektisko materi\u0101lismu, bet bez \u0161im zin\u012bb\u0101m l\u012bdz diplomdarbam netikt. Tad es \u0146\u0113mu piez\u012bmes no paraugstudentes Birutas Go\u0123es un pa vakariem p\u0101rrakst\u012bju, gulti\u0146\u0101 las\u012bju v\u012bram priek\u0161\u0101 visas p\u0101rrakst\u012bt\u0101s lekcijas un pasv\u012btroju tos teikumus, kuri j\u0101zina un j\u0101atceras, kad vajadz\u0113s atskait\u012bties. Rezult\u0101ti bija labi. Ar\u012b valodas v\u012bram nepadev\u0101s un neinteres\u0113ja. Tad es \u0146\u0113mu un uzrakst\u012bju visu, kas m\u0101c\u012bbu programm\u0101 paredz\u0113ts, sac\u012bdama, lai \u0146em un p\u0101rraksta, jo viss b\u016bs pareizi. To nu gan n\u0113, vi\u0146\u0161 tak net\u0113r\u0113\u0161ot laiku un ener\u0123iju p\u0101rrakst\u012b\u0161anai.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Un t\u0101 viss aizg\u0101ja uz akad\u0113miju man\u0101 rokrakst\u0101, un visur Bruno dab\u016bja labas atz\u012bmes ieskait\u0113s. Redz\u0113dama, cik viss vienk\u0101r\u0161i, nol\u0113mu pati st\u0101ties akad\u0113mij\u0101. To padzird\u0113jis, v\u012brs ne pa jokam uztrauc\u0101s un tikm\u0113r run\u0101ja, kam\u0113r pierun\u0101ja pagaid\u012bt, l\u012bdz vi\u0146\u0161 beig\u0161ot m\u0101c\u012bbas. P\u0113c p\u0101ris nieka gadiem vi\u0146\u0161 peln\u012bs un es tad var\u0113\u0161u stud\u0113t bez r\u016bp\u0113m un raiz\u0113m. Tas izklaus\u012bj\u0101s tik sirsn\u012bgi un jauki, ka beidzot piekritu. Celmi\u0146am draugu pulks vienm\u0113r bija liels – un slaven\u012bbas vien, slaven\u012bb\u0101s vien. K\u0101du vakaru ziemas vid\u016b pie durv\u012bm zvana, v\u012bram\u0101te iet ielaist un p\u0101rb\u012bstas. Durv\u012bs st\u0101v cilv\u0113ks, v\u0113j\u0101 izpluin\u012btiem matiem un glu\u017ei kail\u0101m kr\u016bt\u012bm. Cilv\u0113ks saka: “Neb\u012bstieties, kundze, es esmu Pest\u012bt\u0101js.” Tas bija J\u0101nis Pau\u013cuks…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u012apa\u0161i gribas piemin\u0113t vienu no tuv\u0101kajiem Bru\u0146a draugiem – J\u0101ni Osi, kur\u0161 sav\u0101 sp\u0113c\u012bgaj\u0101 diplomdarb\u0101 uzgleznoja izteiksm\u012bgos zvejniekus laiv\u0101. \u0160\u012bs gleznas kopija rot\u0101ja R\u012bgas centr\u0101ltirgus zivju paviljonu. J\u0101nis Osis dz\u012bvoja pie sava radinieka \u0101rk\u0101rt\u012bgi tr\u016bc\u012bgos apst\u0101k\u013cos, no k\u0101 vi\u0146i p\u0101rtika, gr\u016bti iedom\u0101ties. Vec\u0101kus vi\u0146am \u010detrdesmit pirmaj\u0101 at\u0146\u0113ma sarkanais terors. Visu mantu nolaup\u012bja, dz\u012bvi izpost\u012bja. J\u0101\u0146a O\u0161a diplomdarbs daudziem toreiz patika; darba t\u0113ma, teicami izpild\u012bts, viss, k\u0101 vajag. Darbu ieteica Sta\u013cina pr\u0113mijai.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lai nu kam, bet Osim t\u0101da pr\u0113mijas nauda b\u016btu bijis liels atbalsts. Bet Sta\u013cina pr\u0113miju var sa\u0146emt tikai ar “t\u012bru” biogr\u0101fiju. Osim vec\u0101ku d\u0113\u013c t\u0101 izr\u0101d\u012bj\u0101s net\u012bra. Pr\u0113miju neiedeva. Ak, \u0161ie padomju “saulain\u0101s” dz\u012bves \u0113rk\u0161\u0137i, k\u0101 tie mums d\u016br\u0101s sird\u012bs!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ar\u012b dzejdaris Otom\u0101rs Rikmanis toreiz draudz\u0113j\u0101s ar Bruni un k\u0101du r\u012btu, m\u016bsu m\u0101j\u0101 pamodies p\u0113c nelielas uzdz\u012bves, s\u0113d\u0113dams uz m\u016bsu laul\u012bbas gultas malas, uzrakst\u012bja man velt\u012btu po\u0113mu. Tas tom\u0113r bija skaists \u017eests! Un, lai gan Sta\u013cina laiki it k\u0101 bija pag\u0101ju\u0161i, Otom\u0101rs ar savu dzeju sarieba iztap\u012bgajiem re\u017e\u012bma kalpiem m\u016bsu pa\u0161u tautie\u0161iem – un p\u0101r to samaks\u0101ja ar ieslodz\u012bjumu uz septi\u0146iem gadiem slavenaj\u0101 Mordovijas soda nometn\u0113. Atgriezies no Mordovijas, Otom\u0101rs saticis Vi\u013ca L\u0101\u010da vedeklu Ligitu L\u0101ci. Saruna ievirz\u012bjusies par mani. Es l\u012bdz tam Ligitu L\u0101ci person\u012bgi nebiju pazinusi, vien\u012bgi le\u0123end\u0101ros nost\u0101stus gad\u012bj\u0101s vair\u0101kk\u0101rt dzird\u0113t. Ligita L\u0101ce sac\u012bjusi: vi\u0146ai esot zi\u0146as, ka es esot Mordovij\u0101 mirusi, bet Otom\u0101rs apgalvojis pret\u0113jo. Nu ko, sader\u0113ju\u0161i uz vair\u0101k\u0101m konjaka pudel\u0113m. Lai der\u012bbas vinn\u0113tu, Otom\u0101rs taks\u012bti atbrauca uz m\u0101ju, kur\u0101 es neilgu laiku p\u0113c atgrie\u0161an\u0101s no Mordovijas mitin\u0101jos. Ligita un v\u0113l k\u0101ds vec\u0101ks kungs, Ligit\u0101s priv\u0101tais finans\u0113t\u0101js, gaid\u012bja taks\u012bti. Mani, izr\u0101vu\u0161i gandr\u012bz no gultas, \u0146\u0113ma l\u012bdzi uz der\u012bb\u0101s vinn\u0113t\u0101 konjaka izdzer\u0161anu. Brauca uz Ligitas dz\u012bvokli kaut kur Juglas pus\u0113. Tad man rad\u0101s iesp\u0113ja person\u012bgi parun\u0101ties ar \u0161o \u013coti popul\u0101ro d\u0101mu. Uz mani vi\u0146a atst\u0101ja labu iespaidu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Run\u0101jot par Bru\u0146a draugiem, katr\u0101 zi\u0146\u0101 j\u0101piemin Paulis Du\u0161kins. Jaun\u012bb\u0101 vi\u0146\u0161 laikam bija pats ekscentrisk\u0101kais no visiem t\u0101 laika m\u0101ksliniekiem. Kad Du\u0161kins izg\u0101ja uz ielas, vi\u0146\u0161 nevienai sievietei nepaman\u012bts paiet gar\u0101m nevar\u0113ja. Platmale vien bija ko v\u0113rta un pa gabalu ieraug\u0101ma, vien\u012bgi \u017e\u0113l, ka stacijas laukum\u0101, k\u016ble\u0146us metot, skaist\u0101 platmale tika nev\u0113r\u012bgi sam\u012bc\u012bta pret bru\u0123a akme\u0146iem. Ar Pauli mums n\u0101c\u0101s \u013coti bie\u017ei dz\u012bv\u0113 tikties, un m\u016bsu attiec\u012bbas aizvien palika draudz\u012bgas. Mani gan satrauca nov\u0113rojumi attiec\u012bb\u0101 uz Pau\u013ca otro sievu Rasmu. Vi\u0146a bija tikko atgriezusies dzimten\u0113 no Kalifornijas, laikam pat nenojauta, ka vi\u0146as pirmie “kavalieri” bija \u010dekas virsnieku izlase. Vi\u0146i pirmos m\u0113ne\u0161us \u0101rzemju latvieti neizlaida no savas “g\u0101d\u012bbas”, vad\u0101ja pa R\u012bgas lab\u0101kajiem restor\u0101niem un kav\u0113ja laiku. Un Rasma jut\u0101s labi tik smuku kungu sabiedr\u012bb\u0101.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tikai tad, kad inform\u0101ciju avots, vi\u0146ai pa\u0161ai to nezinot, bija izsmelts, vi\u0146a var\u0113ja uzs\u0101kt norm\u0101lu dz\u012bvi un str\u0101d\u0101t kinostudij\u0101 par grim\u0113t\u0101ju. Laul\u012bba ar Du\u0161kinu izjuka, abi izr\u0101d\u012bj\u0101s ar raksturiem, un fin\u0101l\u0101 Rasma v\u0113l sasita skaist\u0101s krist\u0101la v\u012bna gl\u0101zes. To Du\u0161kins piedot nesp\u0113ja. M\u016bsu “saved\u0113js”, Gun\u0101rs C\u012bl\u012btis, ar\u012b \u0161ad tad jau p\u0113c akad\u0113mijas beig\u0161anas ciemoj\u0101s pie mums. Neatceros, ar ko Brunis toreiz sa\u0137\u0113r\u0101s un k\u0101 izc\u0113l\u0101s kauti\u0146\u0161. Mums m\u0101j\u0101s gr\u012bdas bija vienm\u0113r labi ievaskotas un spo\u017eas. Uz gr\u012bdas gar\u0161 celi\u0146\u0161, un tie\u0161i uz celi\u0146a vi\u0146i c\u012bn\u012bj\u0101s. Gun\u0101rs, b\u016bdams aspr\u0101t\u012bgs, iedom\u0101ja pajokot un stingri pavilka celi\u0146a vienu galu. Abi c\u012bksto\u0146i smagi krita, palma g\u0101z\u0101s, pods pl\u012bsa, zeme pa visu gr\u012bdu, tas tik bija skats! Bet vai tik vien cilv\u0113ka m\u016b\u017e\u0101 p\u0101rpratumu. Tie tik t\u0101di jautri s\u012bkumi\u0146i. Kas b\u016btu dz\u012bve bez jautr\u012bbas? V\u012bram\u0101te gan t\u0101 glu\u017ei nedom\u0101ja, un san\u0101ca skand\u0101li\u0146\u0161. Man ar\u012b k\u0101ds v\u0101rds bija j\u0101saka, bet es (lai izpatiktu v\u012bram\u0101tei) tikai to vien pateicu: “K\u0101 t\u0101 var?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pie Bru\u0146a draugiem toreiz ar\u012b Harijs Liepi\u0146\u0161 no Dailes te\u0101tra bija pieskait\u0101ms. Neatceros, par ko Liepi\u0146\u0161 mani zv\u0113r\u012bgi nokaitin\u0101ja, un es, daudz nedom\u0101dama, atv\u0113zos un “uzmaucu” vi\u0146am kakl\u0101 nelielu bildi. Triecot bildi pret Liepi\u0146a galvu, audekls pl\u012bsa un r\u0101mis palika kakl\u0101 – k\u0101 zirgam sakas. Nedom\u0101ju, ka vi\u0146\u0161 to sp\u0113ja jebkad atcer\u0113ties, jo visi bija d\u016b\u0161\u012bgi iesilu\u0161i un mani krietni nokaitin\u0101ju\u0161i.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

K\u0101du vasaru Celmi\u0146am pie\u0161\u0137\u012bra ce\u013caz\u012bmi uz jaunrades namu Dzintaros. Tur vi\u0146am ier\u0101d\u012bja istabu divat\u0101 ar nedraugu Laimdoti M\u016brnieku. Pirm\u0101 s\u016bdz\u012bba no Celmi\u0146a puses par M\u016brnieku bija t\u0101da: “Vi\u0146\u0161 nedzer,” Nu, ja nedzer, k\u0101da tur var b\u016bt runa par draudz\u012bbu! Nek\u0101da. R\u012bga nav t\u0101lu, draugi brauca ciemos. Atbrauca Pau\u013cuks ar Kokli. Smuki padz\u012bvoj\u0101s, Celmi\u0146am ar Pau\u013cuku san\u0101ca konflikts manis d\u0113\u013c. J\u0101, t\u0101 bija mana vaina, jo reiz izp\u013c\u0101p\u0101jos par atgad\u012bjumu, kur\u0161 notika tad, kad es Celmi\u0146u v\u0113l nepazinu. Biju ciemojusies pie draudzenes Felicitas. M\u016bs iztrauc\u0113ja Pau\u013cuks. Vi\u0146i jau tad dz\u012bvoja \u0161\u0137irti. K\u0101 jau t\u0101d\u0101s pajuku\u0161\u0101s \u0123imen\u0113s m\u0113dz b\u016bt, Pau\u013cuks paklaig\u0101ja un aizg\u0101ja. p\u0113c laba laici\u0146a g\u0101ju ar\u012b es. K\u0101p\u0146u telp\u0101 Pau\u013cuks mani bija gaid\u012bjis. M\u0113s toreiz bij\u0101m sve\u0161i un pie Felicitas redz\u0113j\u0101mies pirmo reizi. Bez ievada Pau\u013cuks cent\u0101s mani trepju telp\u0101 nosk\u016bpst\u012bt. Es veikli izr\u0101vos un aizmuku. Celmi\u0146\u0161, piepe\u0161i \u017evingul\u012b t\u0101du epizodi atcer\u0113jies, met\u0101s Pau\u013cukam virs\u016b un visu acu priek\u0161\u0101 nopl\u0113sa \u017eaketei piedurkni. T\u0101 man bija m\u0101c\u012bba – vis\u0101dus niekus tur\u0113t pie sevis un bez vajadz\u012bbas nep\u013c\u0101p\u0101t. Cit\u0101 reiz\u0113 atkal atbrauca draugu pulci\u0146\u0161, kop\u0101 ar vi\u0146iem operas dekorators Grasmanis. Vi\u0146a sieva toreiz bija slaven\u0101 vijolniece Lida Rubene. Man toreiz \u013coti nepatika Grasma\u0146a liel\u012bba – piedz\u0113ru\u0161u draugu pulk\u0101 p\u013c\u0101p\u0101t par \u0123imenes int\u012bm\u0101m liet\u0101m: k\u0101d\u0101 izskat\u0101 sieva vi\u0146am sp\u0113l\u0113jot vijoli! B\u016btu priec\u0101jies pats un tur\u0113jis m\u0113li aiz zobiem. Ja pap\u013c\u0101p\u0101 par sve\u0161\u0101m vienas nakts skaistul\u012bt\u0113m, tad tas v\u0113l kaut k\u0101d\u0101 m\u0113r\u0101 ir attaisnojami, jo v\u012brie\u0161i p\u0113c dabas ir p\u013c\u0101pas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sadraudz\u012bbas vakars jaunrades nam\u0101 beidz\u0101s ar dzied\u0101\u0161anu – kur\u0161 ska\u013c\u0101k var. P\u0113c administr\u0101cijas aizr\u0101d\u012bjuma izbeigt ska\u013co dzied\u0101\u0161anu draugi aizg\u0101ja uz pludmali un tur nakts vid\u016b dzied\u0101ja visi reiz\u0113, tikai katrs savu dziesmu. Bet tad dzied\u0101\u0161ana p\u0101rtr\u016bka tik p\u0113k\u0161\u0146i, k\u0101 ar cirvi nocirsta. Visi p\u0101rb\u012bli apklusa, jo Grasmanis bija uz\u0146\u0113mis vado\u0161o toni un ska\u013c\u0101k par visiem dzied\u0101ja m\u016bsu l\u016bg\u0161anu, m\u016bsu himnu. Draugi p\u0101rbiju\u0161ies m\u0113\u0123in\u0101ja Grasmani apklusin\u0101t, jo tad v\u0113l nebija himnas dziedamais laiks. Neizdev\u0101s – Grasmanis iespaid\u012bgi nodzied\u0101ja l\u012bdz galam. Toreiz tas var\u0113ja maks\u0101t vair\u0101kus gadus aiz rest\u0113m. Labi, ka tuvum\u0101 nebija neviena nodev\u0113ja.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

N\u0101ko\u0161aj\u0101 gad\u0101 Celmi\u0146\u0161, sa\u0146\u0113mis stipendijas naudu, grib\u0113ja \u012br\u0113t k\u0101d\u0101 vasarn\u012bc\u0101 istabu Mellu\u017eos. Ilgi mekl\u0113j\u0101m, jo naudas nepietika, lai kaut ko piekl\u0101j\u012bgu var\u0113tu no\u012br\u0113t. Dab\u016bj\u0101m t\u0101du nelielu \u0161\u0137\u016bn\u012bti, kur tikko pietika vietas div\u0101m saliekam\u0101m gulti\u0146\u0101m un vienam galdi\u0146am. Turkl\u0101t Celmi\u0146\u0161 lika man aiziet no darba, jo, brauk\u0101jot no r\u012bta un vakaros pa vilcieniem, varot gad\u012bties, ka man k\u0101ds sagroza galvu. T\u0101da nepamatota greizsird\u012bba \u0161ad tad uzbruka manam v\u012bram, un tur neko l\u012bdz\u0113t nevar\u0113ja. T\u0101 nu m\u0113s pusbad\u0101 Mellu\u017eos dz\u012bvoj\u0101m. G\u0101ju uz me\u017eu s\u0113nes las\u012bt. S\u0113nes r\u012bt\u0101, s\u0113nes vakar\u0101, cita nek\u0101 mums nebija. S\u0113nes v\u0101r\u012bju \u0101r\u0101. Uz trim akme\u0146iem uzliku katli\u0146u – glu\u017ei k\u0101 me\u017eo\u0146i dara. Kurin\u0101majam vilku no me\u017ea nol\u016bzu\u0161os zarus vai salas\u012bju \u010diekurus, bet p\u0113c malkas n\u0101c\u0101s iet aizvien t\u0101l\u0101k, jo tuvum\u0101 visu biju nolas\u012bjusi. Beig\u0101s pietr\u016bka s\u0101ls, ko s\u0113n\u0113m uzkais\u012bt, tad ar s\u0113rkoci\u0146u kast\u012bti g\u0101ju \u0161ur tur “aiz\u0146emties”. M\u0101kslas d\u0113\u013c j\u0101pacie\u0161 daudz. Visa nauda aizg\u0101ja kr\u0101s\u0101m un audekliem. Visas mellenes, zilenes ar\u012b nolas\u012bju l\u012bdz p\u0113d\u0113jai odzi\u0146ai. Paretam gad\u012bj\u0101s, ka zvejnieki, redz\u0113dami gal\u012bgi izk\u0101m\u0113ju\u0161o gleznot\u0101ju, kur\u0161 caur\u0101m dien\u0101m gleznoja vi\u0146u laivas un j\u016bru, iedeva k\u0101du zivi. Tie bija sv\u0113tki. Sapazinies ar zvejniekiem, Celmi\u0146\u0161 uzzin\u0101ja, kur rav\u0113jams liels zeme\u0146u lauks. Bija jau mazliet par v\u0113lu, jo saimnieks bija zaud\u0113jis savu sievu – rav\u0113t\u0101ju. Lai lauks gal\u012bgi neaizietu boj\u0101, bija vien j\u0101rav\u0113. Alga 3 rub\u013ci dien\u0101 plus pa\u0113st. August\u0101 lika rav\u0113jot zeme\u0146u dobes, zeme\u0146u ceriem j\u0101apgrie\u017e visi jaunie dzinumi. Dobes bija t\u0101 aizaugu\u0161as, ka s\u0101kum\u0101 gr\u016bti n\u0101c\u0101s atrast, kur \u012bsti aug zeme\u0146u ceri. Saule taj\u0101 gad\u0101 sild\u012bja karst\u0101k nek\u0101 iepriek\u0161\u0113jos. Iedom\u0101jos, ka str\u0101d\u0101ju gandr\u012bz k\u0101 n\u0113\u0123eris plant\u0101cij\u0101s. \u0112dienu deva viduv\u0113ju, galvenok\u0101rt zivis, turkl\u0101t es savu \u0113dienu nedr\u012bkst\u0113ju ap\u0113st viena, \u0146\u0113mu trauku no m\u0101j\u0101m un liel\u0101ko pusi nesu v\u012bram, \u017e\u0113l bija skat\u012bties, cik v\u0101j\u0161 k\u013cuvis. Paretam atbrauca v\u012bram\u0101te ar baltmaizi, biezpienu un k\u0101du desas gabalu som\u0101. Vi\u0146a \u012bsten\u012bb\u0101 nemaz nezin\u0101ja, k\u0101 m\u0113s dz\u012bvojam. Lepni bij\u0101m, sak, pa\u0161i varam iztikt, bet badu ciest gan nebija pr\u0101t\u012bgi. Par rav\u0113\u0161anu ieg\u016bto naudu izlietoj\u0101m sapr\u0101t\u012bgi – maizei, miltiem un citiem visl\u0113t\u0101kajiem p\u0101rtikas produktiem. Vienreiz sadom\u0101ju izcept pank\u016bkas, iejaucu miltus \u016bden\u012b, bet tauku nav. Atradu pudeli, kur\u0101 nedaudz e\u013c\u013cas. Cepu, bet j\u016btu – kaut kas tik sav\u0101di o\u017e k\u0101 meh\u0101niskaj\u0101 darbn\u012bc\u0101. Izr\u0101d\u0101s, t\u0101 bija ma\u0161ine\u013c\u013ca, un cer\u012bbas uz pank\u016bku \u0113\u0161anu v\u0113j\u0101.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u0113d\u0113jo naudu, ko nopeln\u012bju par rav\u0113\u0161anu, Celmi\u0146\u0161 aiznesa uz Asaru stacijas bufeti un tur visu atst\u0101ja. Tad gan man k\u013cuva bezgala smagi ap sirdi, bet kam s\u016bdz\u0113sies? Atcer\u0113jos m\u0101tes v\u0101rdus: “Ja gribi b\u016bt nelaim\u012bga, tad apprecies.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Atkal p\u0101ris ned\u0113\u013cas s\u0113nes r\u012bt\u0101, vakar\u0101. Reiz, no bada nogurusi, iedom\u0101jos, ka nu jau b\u016bs j\u0101mirst. Tad ar jautr\u0101ku pr\u0101tu izt\u0113lojos kapu pl\u0101ksn\u012bti, uz kuras b\u016btu j\u0101raksta: “M\u0101kslai ziedots m\u016b\u017es.” Bet vai neb\u016btu j\u0101atrod daudz svar\u012bg\u0101ki m\u0113r\u0137i, kuriem ziedot m\u016b\u017eu?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No vienas puses \u0161\u0137ita, ka laiks ir zem\u0113 nomests, no otras – sapratu, ka esmu ne tikai sieva un putras v\u0101r\u012bt\u0101ja, bet ar\u012b tuvs draugs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Celmi\u0146\u0161 bie\u017ei izv\u0113l\u0113j\u0101s tie\u0161i mani par savu darbu “kriti\u0137i”. Salika studijas rind\u0101 un pajaut\u0101ja, kura man vislab\u0101k pat\u012bk. Apskat\u012bjusi darbus, katru reizi nek\u013c\u016bd\u012bgi nor\u0101d\u012bju uz lab\u0101ko. Da\u017ei darbi man izskat\u012bj\u0101s samoc\u012bti, kr\u0101sa likta vair\u0101kk\u0101rt, nav vairs tik dz\u012bva k\u0101 tajos darbos, kur t\u0101 veikli uzlikta ar vienu vien\u012bgu virtuozu triepienu. Par t\u0101du darbu nevar\u0113ju vien beigt j\u016bsmot. V\u012brs par manu saj\u016bsmu priec\u0101j\u0101s, un, neskatoties uz \u0161ausm\u012bgo nabadz\u012bbu, k\u0101d\u0101 tolaik dz\u012bvoj\u0101m, jut\u0101mies \u012bsti laim\u012bgi. T\u0101dus br\u012b\u017eus nevar aizmirst. Tie paliek atmi\u0146\u0101 uz m\u016b\u017eu. Katru reizi, kad v\u0113roju v\u012bru veiksm\u012bgi gleznojam, es vi\u0146u dievin\u0101ju.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tr\u012bs vasaras nomoc\u012bj\u0101mies visl\u0113t\u0101kaj\u0101s vasaras b\u016bd\u0101s, kur nev\u012b\u017e\u012bgi saimnieki pat d\u0101rzu nekad neuzraka. Mani t\u0101da nolaid\u012bba kaitin\u0101ja, un, ieg\u0101d\u0101jusies gladiolu s\u012bpolus, katru pavasari pal\u016bdzu at\u013cauju uzrakt p\u0101ris dobes. Ar patiku v\u0113roju, k\u0101 uzaug gladiolas, no kur\u0101m bija prieks pa\u0161iem un makam, jo skaistos gark\u0101tainos ziedus vedu uz tirgu p\u0101rdot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bet man ar\u012b \u013coti grib\u0113j\u0101s gleznot. Mana v\u0113l\u0113\u0161an\u0101s gan piepild\u012bj\u0101s tikai t\u0101d\u0101s reiz\u0113s, kad uz paletes palika p\u0101ri neizlietot\u0101s kr\u0101sas, jo kr\u0101sas bija j\u0101taupa. Parast\u0101 aina bija t\u0101da: v\u012brs glezno, sieva s\u0113\u017e turpat blakus un ada sve\u0161iem pas\u016bt\u012bt\u0101jiem jakas, kleitas, \u0161alles vai ko citu. Reiz k\u0101da sve\u0161a krieviete no Maskavas, noskat\u012bjusi manu darbu ar skaistiem iead\u012btiem latvju rakstiem, nelik\u0101s mier\u0101, lai uzadot vi\u0146as meitai sv\u0101rci\u0146us, jaci\u0146u, cepuri, \u0161alli, jo meita esot dai\u013cslidot\u0101ja. Meita turpat Vaivaros, pionieru nometn\u0113. \u0160ausm\u012bgi negrib\u0113j\u0101s ar krievieti ielaisties, bet apst\u0101k\u013ci spieda. Vi\u0146a man iedeva naudu dzijai un kr\u0101s\u0101m. Katli k\u016bp\u0113ja, dzijas v\u0101r\u012bj\u0101s septi\u0146\u0101s kr\u0101s\u0101s, un m\u0113ne\u0161a laik\u0101 viss bija noad\u012bts. Krieviete priec\u012bga samaks\u0101ja pras\u012btos t\u016bksto\u0161 rub\u013cus, jo t\u0101 bija iepriek\u0161 norun\u0101ts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tikusi pie naudas, ar\u012b es sajutu t\u0101du k\u0101 gandar\u012bjumu, Un tom\u0113r t\u0101du dz\u012bvi nevar\u0113ja uzskat\u012bt par norm\u0101lu: \u0161ad tad pa\u0113st, cik gribas, bet liel\u0101ko tiesu dz\u012bvot pusbad\u0101. Bez tam es p\u0101r\u0101k viegli pavasar\u012b \u013c\u0101vos pierun\u0101ties ielikt ka\u017eoku un citas lab\u0101k\u0101s dr\u0113bes lombard\u0101, lai vasar\u0101 b\u016btu nauda kr\u0101s\u0101m un audekliem. Man pat neien\u0101ca pr\u0101t\u0101 pajaut\u0101t, k\u0101d\u0113\u013c man\u0101m dr\u0113b\u0113m j\u0101b\u016bt ie\u0137\u012bl\u0101t\u0101m, nevis vi\u0146a. Taj\u0101 ruden\u012b ar ad\u012b\u0161anu nopeln\u012bt\u0101s naudas pietika, lai no lombarda var\u0113tu visu izpirkt, bet divus iepriek\u0161\u0113jos rude\u0146us naudas nebija nemaz un t\u0101 bija j\u0101aiz\u0146emas no radiem un draugiem. Ka\u017eoci\u0146\u0161 k\u013cuva aizvien vec\u0101ks, un spalva s\u0101ka dilt, ar katru pavasari \u0137\u012blu nauda t\u0101pat dila, toties ruden\u012b var\u0113ju viegl\u0101k izpirkt. Pati ar\u012b s\u0101ku dilt. Beig\u0101s sadilu t\u0101, ka nevar\u0113ju vairs pieliekties, lai kaut ko paceltu no zemes, \u0161ausm\u012bgi reiba galva. Tad s\u0101k\u0101s regul\u0101ras galvas s\u0101pes. Beidzot aizg\u0101ju pie \u0101rsta. Mani ievietoja Sarkan\u0101 Krusta slimn\u012bc\u0101. Tiku daktera \u0160ili\u0146a noda\u013c\u0101. Manupr\u0101t dakteris bija p\u0101r\u0101k zi\u0146k\u0101r\u012bgs, daudz jaut\u0101ja, bet laikam jau dakterim j\u0101zin, k\u0101p\u0113c esmu tik \u0161ausm\u012bgi izk\u0101m\u0113jusi un k\u0101 mani iz\u0101rst\u0113t. Pirmaj\u0101s dien\u0101s st\u016brgalv\u012bgi klus\u0113ju, bet, kad dakteris mani, sav\u0101 kabinet\u0101 iesaucis, nemit\u0113j\u0101s izpra\u0161\u0146\u0101t, tad atzinos, ka tr\u012bs gadi nodz\u012bvoti gandr\u012bz no svaiga gaisa un m\u012blest\u012bbas. Dakteris, toreiz jau krietni gados, \u013coti br\u012bn\u012bj\u0101s, k\u0101 t\u0101 var dz\u012bvot. Nuja, vi\u0146am bija stipri vecmod\u012bgi uzskati par \u0123imenes dz\u012bvi un dz\u012bvi visp\u0101r, jo v\u012bram esot j\u0101uztur sieva un t\u0101 t\u0101l\u0101k. Slimn\u012bc\u0101 sabiju veselu m\u0113nesi, jo man visu laiku bija neiedom\u0101jami zems asinsspiediens. P\u0113c izrakst\u012b\u0161an\u0101s no slimn\u012bcas man piekodin\u0101ja, ka j\u0101brauc uz sanatoriju, k\u0101 ar\u012b iedeva l\u012bdzi pap\u012brus, ko uzr\u0101d\u012bt sanatorij\u0101. Kur nu t\u0101du grezn\u012bbu!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tolaik pa sanatorij\u0101m dz\u012bvoja tikai privile\u0123\u0113tie okupanti un vi\u0146u \u0123imenes. Un v\u0113l divi t\u016bksto\u0161i j\u0101maks\u0101 par ce\u013caz\u012bmi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bet es tiku br\u012bdin\u0101ta vis\u0101 nopietn\u012bb\u0101, ka, t\u0101 dz\u012bvojot, \u0101tri vien ar man b\u016b\u0161ot beigas. P\u0101rn\u0101kusi m\u0101j\u0101s, uzst\u0101d\u012bju savam v\u012bram ultim\u0101tu: teicu, lai beidz \u0101kst\u012bties un lai\u017e mani str\u0101d\u0101t, lai varu nopeln\u012bt norm\u0101lai iztikai. Bet Celmi\u0146am ta\u010du piemita pavisam slim\u012bga greizsird\u012bba, un vi\u0146\u0161 negrib\u0113ja ne dzird\u0113t par kaut k\u0101du darb\u0101 ie\u0161anu. “Tad mums t\u016bl\u012bt uz vietas j\u0101\u0161\u0137iras,” man p\u0113k\u0161\u0146i paspruka. To pateikusi, jutos agres\u012bvi noska\u0146ota pret vis\u0101diem greizsird\u012bbas murgiem un varon\u012bgi aizst\u0101v\u0113ju savas ties\u012bbas. Rezult\u0101t\u0101 p\u0113c mutiska “l\u012bguma” vienoj\u0101mies, ka es Celmi\u0146u nepamet\u012b\u0161u l\u012bdz diplomdarba aizst\u0101v\u0113\u0161anai. Nol\u0113mu, ka tom\u0113r neb\u016btu labi tik atbild\u012bg\u0101 br\u012bd\u012b atst\u0101t vi\u0146u vienu. Toreiz m\u0101ksliniekam, izv\u0113loties t\u0113mu, bija j\u0101patur pr\u0101t\u0101, kur m\u0113s dz\u012bvojam, k\u0101d\u0101 laik\u0101 dz\u012bvojam un vai var\u0113sim ar\u012b turpm\u0101k dz\u012bvot. Nedr\u012bkst\u0113ja gleznot kaut ko t\u0101du, ko k\u0101ds var\u0113tu p\u0101rprast, nesaprast vai izprast glezn\u0101 pesimismu, nacion\u0101las tendences, jeb v\u0113l ko briesm\u012bg\u0101ku.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Celmi\u0146\u0161 savam diplomdarbam atbilsto\u0161i tolaiku pras\u012bb\u0101m bija izv\u0113l\u0113jies \u013coti pateic\u012bgu t\u0113mu – “Zvejnieku kolhozs Uzvara”. Vi\u0146\u0161 to uzgleznoja gai\u0161u un saulainu. Darbs padev\u0101s viegli un bez piep\u016bles. Visiem patika, visi bija apmierin\u0101ti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Diplomdarba aizst\u0101v\u0113\u0161anas diena Bruno Celmi\u0146am tom\u0113r bija svar\u012bg\u0101k\u0101 diena vis\u0101 m\u016b\u017e\u0101. Es vi\u0146am uzd\u0101vin\u0101ju fran\u010du glezno\u0161anas otu komplektu. Ar ot\u0101m toreiz ar\u012b bija sare\u017e\u0123\u012bti. Vispirms j\u0101sag\u0101d\u0101 simts tr\u012bsdesmit rub\u013ci, tad j\u0101tiek M\u0101kslinieku savien\u012bbas priek\u0161s\u0113d\u0113t\u0101ja kabinet\u0101, tur j\u0101izskaidro, k\u0101dam nol\u016bkam otas nepiecie\u0161amas, un beig\u0101s ar parakst\u012btu at\u013cauju rok\u0101 un uzvaras prieku sird\u012b var\u0113ju doties uz kiosku p\u0113c ot\u0101m. Katr\u0101 zi\u0146\u0101 t\u0101du d\u0101vanu katrs diplomands v\u0113l\u0113tos sa\u0146emt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Taj\u0101 dien\u0101 pie mums m\u0101j\u0101s m\u0101ksliniekam velt\u012bt\u0101s pusdien\u0101s bija sal\u016bgti visi v\u012bra radi. Es \u0161aj\u0101s pusdien\u0101s nepiedal\u012bjos, jo uzskat\u012bju savu misiju par pabeigtu. “L\u012bgum\u0101” nebija paredz\u0113ts, ka man p\u0113c diploma ieg\u016b\u0161anas b\u016btu j\u0101piedal\u0101s \u0123imenes svin\u012bb\u0101s. Bez tam mielasts tika sagatavots bez manas zi\u0146as un l\u012bdzdal\u012bbas. Es par to uzzin\u0101ju tikai tad, kad s\u0101ka ierasties l\u016bgtie viesi. Savu sol\u012bjumu biju izpild\u012bjusi ar uzviju, jo fran\u010du otas nekad nebiju apsol\u012bjusi. Kam\u0113r viesi \u0113da, es kl\u012bdu pa iel\u0101m un atcer\u0113jos savas dz\u012bves dr\u016bm\u0101k\u0101s lappuses. No vienas puses, kopdz\u012bve ar Celmi\u0146u \u0161\u0137ita no\u017e\u0113lojama, no otras – ja ne man, tad vismaz vi\u0146am no visa t\u0101 ir kas ticis, un tas mani apmierin\u0101ja.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Celmi\u0146a diplomdarbs guva lielus pan\u0101kumus. M\u0101kslas kriti\u0137e Jud\u012bte Baga Celmi\u0146a darbam velt\u012bja puslapu “Literat\u016br\u0101 un M\u0101ksl\u0101”, uzsv\u0113rdama ne tikai noz\u012bm\u012bgo t\u0113mu, bet ar\u012b lielo meistar\u012bbu un labi izjustos to\u0146us. \u017durn\u0101l\u0101 “Ogo\u0146ok” darbs bija iespiests kr\u0101s\u0101s, ar\u012b Maskav\u0101 to iespieda kr\u0101sain\u0101s pastkart\u012bt\u0113s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dr\u012bz p\u0113c diploma sa\u0146em\u0161anas, sam\u0113r\u0101 \u012bs\u0101 laik\u0101 bija j\u0101rada v\u0113l viens iespaid\u012bgs darbs. Celmi\u0146am pied\u0101v\u0101ja iesp\u0113ju piedal\u012bties latvie\u0161u m\u0101kslas dek\u0101des izst\u0101d\u0113 Maskav\u0101. \u0160im darbam Celmi\u0146\u0161 bija izv\u0113l\u0113jies p\u0101r\u0101k sare\u017e\u0123\u012btu un nepateic\u012bgu t\u0113mu – “Padomju zem\u016bdenes manevru laik\u0101 ” Es, nov\u0113rojusi, k\u0101 vi\u0146\u0161, ar nezin kur sadab\u016btiem zem\u016bde\u0146u mode\u013ciem nomoc\u012bj\u0101s, nol\u0113mu vi\u0146am t\u0101s zem\u016bdenes no galvas izdz\u012bt. Nolikusi vi\u0146am priek\u0161\u0101 K.Zari\u0146a gr\u0101matu “Kaugurie\u0161i”, pateicu: “Izlasi! Tur tev b\u016bs pateic\u012bga t\u0113ma, tu esi latvietis un tev j\u0101glezno latvie\u0161i.” Pan\u0101kusi savu es jutu milz\u012bgu prieku un ener\u0123iju. Aizbrauc\u0101m un nofotograf\u0113j\u0101m Kauguru mui\u017eu no vis\u0101m pus\u0113m. Bibliot\u0113k\u0101s samekl\u0113ju 19.g.s. s\u0101kuma Vidzemes latvie\u0161u ap\u0123\u0113rbu z\u012bm\u0113jumus. No veciem palagiem un citiem dr\u0113bes gabaliem griezu, \u0161uvu, kr\u0101soju un izgatavoju “etniski pareizus” ap\u0123\u0113rbus, kuros iet\u0113rp\u0101m mode\u013cus k\u0101 te\u0101tra izr\u0101dei. Pat par\u016bkas no liniem uztais\u012bju. Visas sievietes “t\u0113loju” es, citiem tipiem sarun\u0101ju radus un m\u0101jas kaimi\u0146us, lai n\u0101k poz\u0113t. Viss rit\u0113ja spraigi un neiedom\u0101jami \u0101tr\u0101 temp\u0101, jo ar zem\u016bden\u0113m iz\u0137\u0113z\u012btais laiks bija j\u0101atg\u016bst. M\u0113ne\u0161a laik\u0101 lielais darbs – “Kauguru nemieri” bija gatavs. Darbu nopirka Maskavas ce\u013cojo\u0161\u0101 izst\u0101de (Peredvi\u017enaja vistavka), samaks\u0101jot divdesmit divus ( 22 000 ) t\u016bksto\u0161us skaidr\u0101 naud\u0101. Maz\u0101ka izm\u0113ra kopiju ieg\u0101d\u0101j\u0101s R\u012bgas v\u0113stures muzejs par 10 000 rub\u013ciem. Jaunam m\u0101ksliniekam labs s\u0101kums. Da\u017ei priec\u0101j\u0101s, da\u017ei br\u012bn\u012bj\u0101s, citi apskauda.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CENTR\u0100LTIRG\u016a<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Mekl\u0113jot darbu, interes\u0113jos tikai par lab\u0101k\u0101m pe\u013c\u0146as iesp\u0113j\u0101m. K\u0101da pazi\u0146a man deva padomu, lai es pam\u0113\u0123inot tikt Centr\u0101ltirg\u016b r\u016bpniec\u012bbas pre\u010du b\u016bd\u0101s, jo tur nauda n\u0101kot k\u0101 pa reni. T\u0101da valoda man nebija saprotama un v\u0113l maz\u0101k pie\u0146emama. Ta\u010du t\u0101du darbu, kas b\u016btu kaut k\u0101d\u0101 veid\u0101 saist\u012bts ar m\u0101kslu, izmekl\u0113jos velt\u012bgi. N\u0101ca rudens, sala, nebija ko uz\u0123\u0113rbt, visas dr\u0113bes lombard\u0101. Bezizej\u0101 non\u0101kusi, t\u0113rpusies v\u012bra novalk\u0101t\u0101 lietusm\u0113tel\u012b, ar smagu sirdi v\u0113ru R\u012bgas 1. tirdzniec\u012bbas uz\u0146\u0113muma kantora durvis. Tur mani pie\u0146\u0113ma pats direktors Rozenbl\u016bms. L\u016bdzu darbu tirg\u016b.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rozenbl\u016bms pabr\u012bn\u012bj\u0101s, k\u0101d\u0113\u013c tie\u0161i tirg\u016b. Sac\u012bju, ka man nav piem\u0113rota ap\u0123\u0113rba, lai st\u0101v\u0113tu smalk\u0101 veikal\u0101, ar savu izskatu deru tikai tirg\u016b. Vai es esot k\u0101dreiz tirdzniec\u012bb\u0101 str\u0101d\u0101jusi? Tas noz\u012bm\u0113ja – vai es protu iedot preci un saskait\u012bt naudu. Te nu es pameloju, sac\u012bdama, ka pirms kara daudz pal\u012bdz\u0113ju vec\u0101ku veikal\u0101. Glu\u017ei samelots nebija, jo manam t\u0113vam k\u0101dreiz pieder\u0113ja veikals, bet tad gan es tikai ar deguna galu var\u0113ju aizsniegt leti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Viss nok\u0101rtoj\u0101s neticami \u0101tri, un mani, atbilsto\u0161i manam ap\u0123\u0113rbam, pie\u0146\u0113ma darb\u0101 Centr\u0101ltirg\u016b saimniec\u012bbas pre\u010du veikal\u0101, kur no r\u012bta l\u012bdz vakaram sv\u0113ru naglas. T\u0101 lika veikali\u0146a “saimnieks” Kv\u012bns: kam\u0113r es v\u0113l nezinot prec\u0113m cenas, j\u0101tirgo naglas. T\u0101 \u012bpatn\u0113ji izskat\u012bj\u0101s, kad ar saviem \u013coti gariem, sarkani lakotajiem nagiem gr\u0101bu naglas, uzman\u012bdam\u0101s, lai nagi nenol\u016bst.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Piecdesmitajos gados daudziem \u010dig\u0101niem kaut kur pie Slokas tika ier\u0101d\u012bti zemes gabali\u0146i m\u0101jok\u013cu cel\u0161anai, jo padomju likums aizliedza klaidon\u012bbu: T\u0101 nu \u010dig\u0101niem bija vien j\u0101ce\u013c m\u0101jas, un vi\u0146i pirka pie manis naglas. \u0160\u0137inde\u013cu naglas jumtu apsi\u0161anai \u0146\u0113ma vesel\u0101m kast\u0113m, t\u0101s nebija j\u0101sver. Tikai v\u0113l\u0101k uzzin\u0101ju, cik izdev\u012bgas Kv\u012bnam tie\u0161i \u0161\u012bs \u0161\u0137inde\u013cu naglas, jo t\u0101s visas, n\u0101kdamas vesel\u0101m autokrav\u0101m, ar fikt\u012bv\u0101m pavadz\u012bm\u0113m bija “kreis\u0101 prece”. Kad to aptv\u0113ru un m\u0101j\u0101s izdar\u012bju apr\u0113\u0137inu, konstat\u0113ju, ka uz nagl\u0101m vien Kv\u012bns m\u0113nes\u012b peln\u012bja 30 000 rub\u013cu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mazliet par pa\u0161u Kv\u012bnu. Vi\u0146am jau bija ap septi\u0146desmit gadu. \u013boti v\u0101j\u0161, slim\u012bgs cilv\u0113ks, ar milz\u012bgi pl\u0101nu, l\u012bku degunu un \u012bpatn\u0113j\u0101m liel\u0101m aus\u012bm, no kur\u0101m t\u0101das garas, sirmas oti\u0146as r\u0113goj\u0101s. Sieva ar diviem d\u0113liem g\u0101ju\u0161i boj\u0101 v\u0101cu okup\u0101cijas laik\u0101. Vecum\u0101 nodibin\u0101jis jaunu \u0123imeni. Jaun\u0101 sieva uz pusi jaun\u0101ka par v\u012bru, ziedo\u0161a s\u0101rtvaidze ar \u0101rstes diplomu, skaista \u017e\u012bdiete no Krievijas. Vi\u0146iem rad\u0101s pat mazs puis\u012btis, kuram toreiz v\u0113l nebija divi gadi. Neskatoties uz v\u012bra labajiem ien\u0101kumiem, sieva str\u0101d\u0101ja sav\u0101 profesij\u0101, un vi\u0146i algoja m\u0101jkalpot\u0101ju. Reiz Kv\u012bns man to visu izst\u0101st\u012bja un teica, ka vi\u0146\u0161 var\u0113tu sen jau b\u016bt pensij\u0101, bet ir j\u0101str\u0101d\u0101 un \u013coti daudz j\u0101risk\u0113, lai savam b\u0113rnam nodro\u0161in\u0101tu n\u0101kotni. Protams, tie bija nopietni un labi m\u0113r\u0137i.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mana alga bija maza – \u010detri simti m\u0113nesi, bet otrus \u010detrus simtus man maks\u0101ja Kv\u012bns. Iepaz\u012bstoties ar cit\u0101m “kol\u0113\u0123\u0113m”, uzzin\u0101ju, ka Kv\u012bns man par maz maks\u0101jot. Pie tik smaga darba man pien\u0101koties t\u016bkstotis, un lai es tik prasot. Man tom\u0113r \u0161\u0137ita, ka b\u016btu nepiekl\u0101j\u012bgi uzreiz pras\u012bt t\u016bkstoti, t\u0101d\u0113\u013c pielietoju nelielu vilt\u012bbi\u0146u. Pateicu Kv\u012bnam, ka man k\u0101ds cits tirgus “saimnieks” pied\u0101v\u0101 se\u0161us simtus. J\u0101, ko tad es \u0101tr\u0101k neesot teikusi, ka man vajaga se\u0161us simtus! No t\u0101 br\u012b\u017ea Kv\u012bns bez ierun\u0101m deva se\u0161us, kop\u0101 ar valsts algu izn\u0101ca t\u016bkstotis. Jau pirmaj\u0101 m\u0113nesi izpirku no lombarda savas dr\u0113bes. Nu ka\u017eoci\u0146\u0161 labi noder\u0113ja neapkurin\u0101maj\u0101 tirgus b\u016bd\u0101. V\u0113l ieg\u0101d\u0101jos \u012bstus garos velte\u0146us un jutos k\u0101 \u012bsta tirgus sieva, tikai \u013coti baid\u012bjos, lai k\u0101ds paz\u012bstams neierauga. Ja pati paman\u012bju k\u0101du biju\u0161o skolas biedru, tad paman\u012bjos laikus pagriezties, lai neredz\u0113tu seju. Ar laiku \u0161is komplekss zuda. N\u0101ca nauda, n\u0101ca pa\u0161apzi\u0146a.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

V\u012brs n\u0101ca vakaros diezgan bie\u017ei man pret\u012b uz darbu. V\u0113l nebija pien\u0101cis \u0161\u0137ir\u0161an\u0101s laiks. Sa\u0146\u0113mis akad\u0113mijas beig\u0161anas diplomu, Celmi\u0146\u0161 mani tot\u0101li samulsin\u0101ja, pajaut\u0101dams: “Vai tu zini, ar ko tu tagad run\u0101?” Vi\u0146\u0161 laikam dom\u0101ja par savu augst\u0101ko izgl\u012bt\u012bbu. N\u0113, es nezin\u0101ju vis un aiz p\u0101rsteiguma pat neatradu piem\u0113rotus v\u0101rdus, ko atbild\u0113t, tikai atcer\u0113jos negul\u0113t\u0101s naktis, kad es tre\u0161\u0101 un ceturt\u0101 kursa studentam p\u0101rrakst\u012bju dialektisk\u0101 materi\u0101lisma lekcijas un v\u0113l v\u0101cu un krievu valodas konspektus. Lai nu lepotos citu priek\u0161\u0101, bet man\u0101? Smiekl\u012bgi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pien\u0101ca diena, kad no Maskavas tie 22 000 rub\u013cu iejauc\u0101s m\u016bsu m\u0101jas dz\u012bv\u0113. Kaut ko t\u0101du es v\u0113l nebiju redz\u0113jusi. P\u0101rn\u0101kusi no darba, skatos: mans v\u012brs ar simtniekiem liek “pasjansu” tie\u0161i uz m\u016bsu laul\u012bbas gultas!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Neb\u016bs tak no priekiem sajucis,” bija mana pirm\u0101 doma. Lik\u0101s gan, ka ar smadzen\u0113m pagaid\u0101m viss k\u0101rt\u012bb\u0101, jo v\u012brs jaut\u0101ja, k\u0101, p\u0113c man\u0101m dom\u0101m, \u0161\u012b nauda b\u016btu vislab\u0101k izmantojama. Ja jau man prasa padomu, tad, l\u016bdzu, man padoms \u0101tri rok\u0101: “Nop\u0113rc to dzelteno divst\u0101vu vasarn\u012bcu Asaros, tur tik skaists d\u0101rzs kl\u0101t un tie daudzie j\u0101\u0146ogu kr\u016bmi, atceries, tur pirmaj\u0101 st\u0101v\u0101 \u010detras istabas iz dodamas vasarniekiem un otr\u0101 st\u0101v\u0101, apvienojot divas telpas, b\u016btu glauna darbn\u012bca, un tas viss par tr\u012bsdesmit t\u016bksto\u0161iem!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Bet man ir tikai divdesmit divi.” “Un tu dom\u0101, ka asto\u0146us nav iesp\u0113jams piepeln\u012bt? Tos noteikti saimnieks pagaid\u012bs.” Nabadz\u012bb\u0101 dz\u012bvojot, v\u012brs visus manus padomus uzklaus\u012bja, nov\u0113rt\u0113ja un mani v\u0113l paslav\u0113ja. Tagad laiki bija main\u012bju\u0161ies. Mani padomi netika \u0146emti v\u0113r\u0101, un visa liel\u0101 nauda izkusa k\u0101 p\u0113rn\u0101 gada sniegs. Kam\u0113r v\u012brs ar saj\u016bsmu deld\u0113ja naudu, es nol\u0113mu p\u0113c iesp\u0113jas \u0101tr\u0101k, kam\u0113r v\u0113l visa nauda nav notriekta, aiziet prom, lai man v\u0113l\u0101k nep\u0101rmestu, ka esmu vi\u0146u atst\u0101jusi bez iztikas l\u012bdzek\u013ciem. Katru r\u012btu, ejot uz darbu, \u0146\u0113mu som\u0101 l\u012bdzi kaut ko no sav\u0101m mant\u0101m. Taj\u0101 pa\u0161\u0101 laik\u0101 darb\u0101 ar\u012b sagad\u012bj\u0101s uztraukumi. Dienas vid\u016b veikal\u0101 ier\u0101d\u0101s tr\u012bs v\u012brie\u0161i civ\u012blap\u0123\u0113rb\u0101. Vi\u0146i uzr\u0101d\u012bja “OBHS” (Iek\u0161lietu noda\u013ca c\u012b\u0146ai pret spekul\u0101ciju un saimniecisko iz\u0161\u0137\u0113rd\u0113\u0161anu) apliec\u012bbas. Kv\u012bnu pa\u0146\u0113ma l\u012bdzi, man pav\u0113l\u0113ja tirgoties, bet p\u0113c veikala sl\u0113g\u0161anas ierasties milicijas p\u0101rvald\u0113. Tur man par\u0101d\u012bja pasi ar fotogr\u0101fiju un jaut\u0101ja, vai es paz\u012bstot pases \u012bpa\u0161nieku. Protams, p\u0113c izskata pazinu. Tas bija Kvinam kreis\u0101s preces pieg\u0101d\u0101t\u0101js. Sapratu, kas noticis, un vien\u0101 mier\u0101 atbild\u0113ju, ka nepaz\u012bstu. Izmekl\u0113t\u0101js past\u0101v\u0113ja, ka vi\u0146am esot zin\u0101ms par min\u0113t\u0101s personas dar\u012bjumiem ar Kv\u012bnu tie\u0161i veikali\u0146\u0101, kur\u0101 es str\u0101d\u0101ju. “Bet veikali\u0146\u0101 dien\u0101 iet un n\u0101k simtiem cilv\u0113ku, man nav laika sejas p\u0113t\u012bt, j\u0101str\u0101d\u0101.” Notic\u0113ja vai nenotic\u0113ja, nezinu. Tad jaut\u0101ja, k\u0101das man attiec\u012bbas ar Kv\u012bnu. “K\u0101das attiec\u012bbas? Nek\u0101das” Uzreiz nesapratu, kas ar \u0161o jaut\u0101jumu dom\u0101ts, kad attapos, s\u0101ku \u017e\u0113loties, ka ar t\u0101du briesm\u012bgu cilv\u0113ku k\u0101 Kv\u012bns \u013coti gr\u016bti kop\u0101 str\u0101d\u0101t; nervozs, m\u016b\u017e\u012bgi nikns, liek str\u0101d\u0101t virsstundas, par kur\u0101m nemaks\u0101, ar vienu v\u0101rdu sakot, \u012bsts tir\u0101ns. Un, ja es kaut ko uzzin\u0101\u0161u vai paman\u012b\u0161u k\u0101das nelikum\u012bbas, ar liel\u0101ko prieku pati atn\u0101k\u0161u un pazi\u0146o\u0161u. Varb\u016bt v\u0113l tik\u0161u par veikali\u0146a vad\u012bt\u0101ju. To padzird\u0113jis, izmekl\u0113t\u0101js k\u013cuva varen priec\u012bgs, parakst\u012bja man caurlaidi, un biju br\u012bva. Tie\u0161i no milicijas p\u0101rvaldes steidzos pie Kv\u012bna sievas. Izst\u0101st\u012bju visu, ko milicij\u0101 pras\u012bja un ko es teicu, un pie viena nomierin\u0101ju uztraukto sievieti, apgalvodama, ka nav nek\u0101du pier\u0101d\u012bjumu un v\u012brs tiks m\u0101j\u0101s. Man izr\u0101d\u012bj\u0101s taisn\u012bba, ap pusnakti Kv\u012bns p\u0101rn\u0101cis. N\u0101kamaj\u0101 dien\u0101 vismaz tr\u012bs reizes Kv\u012bns grib\u0113ja dzird\u0113t, ko es teicu, k\u0101 es teicu un ko man jaut\u0101ja. Paslav\u0113jis mani par attap\u012bbu un lab\u0101m atbild\u0113m, Kv\u012bns man iedeva veselu t\u016bkstoti jaunam m\u0113telim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Izr\u0101d\u012bj\u0101s, ka biju ieguvusi daudz vair\u0101k nek\u0101 t\u016bksto\u0161 rub\u013cu. Iemantoju labu reput\u0101ciju, jo zi\u0146a par notiku\u0161o aplidoja visu tirgu p\u0101ris dienu laik\u0101. Tajos gados tirg\u016b vald\u012bja neiedom\u0101jama savstarp\u0113ja uztic\u012bba un solidarit\u0101te. Ja vien\u0101 viet\u0101 uzn\u0101ca inventariz\u0101cija, tad “lieko” naudu par “kreiso” pre\u010du realiz\u0101ciju nog\u0101d\u0101ja pie k\u0101da cita tirgot\u0101ja. Protams liek\u0101s naudas daudzumu noteica aptuveni, p\u0113c principa – lab\u0101k lai drusci\u0146 pietr\u016bkst, nek\u0101 lai konstat\u0113tu p\u0101rpalikumu, jo p\u0101rpalikums rada aizdomas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Daudzi veikalu vad\u012bt\u0101ji n\u0101ca man paspiest roku, citi sauca pie sevis str\u0101d\u0101t, un, kad viena d\u016b\u0161\u012bga d\u0101ma man pied\u0101v\u0101ja t\u016bkstoti m\u0113nes\u012b “kabatas naudu”, es piekritu un p\u0101rg\u0101ju uz kult\u016brpre\u010du veikalu pa\u0161\u0101 tirgus centr\u0101; lielaj\u0101 s\u0113t\u0101. Man daudz lab\u0101k patika tirgoties ar fotoapar\u0101tiem, radioapar\u0101tiem un ska\u0146u plat\u0113m nek\u0101 ar nagl\u0101m. T\u012brs darbs, laba pe\u013c\u0146a un v\u0113l svaigs gaiss.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Apr\u012bl\u012b visi vasarnieki k\u0101rtoja vasarn\u012bcu \u012bres l\u012bgumus. Es atradu mazu istabi\u0146u lab\u0101 m\u0101j\u0101 Konkordijas iel\u0101 Majoros. M\u0101ja, labi kopta d\u0101rza vid\u016b, bija \u013coti tuvu j\u016brai. T\u0101 pieliku punktu laul\u012bbas dz\u012bvei, kura jau t\u0101 bija stipri ieilgusi – veselus \u010detrarpus gadus tiku vilkusi laul\u012bbas j\u016bgu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u0113d\u0113j\u0101 r\u012bt\u0101, ejot uz darbu no v\u012bra m\u0101j\u0101m, man mugur\u0101 bija pavasara m\u0113telis, bet uz rokas jaunais ziemas m\u0113telis, viss cits pamaz\u0101m vien jau bija aiznests un glab\u0101j\u0101s veikala noliktav\u0101. V\u012brs, paman\u012bjis mani izejam pa durv\u012bm ar diviem m\u0113te\u013ciem, pusap\u0123\u0113rbies paskr\u0113ja man paka\u013c un sauca: “Kur tu ar diviem m\u0113te\u013ciem?” Neko neteicu, bet skrie\u0161us noskr\u0113ju pa trep\u0113m. “Vai tik tu neb\u0113dz no manis prom?” V\u012brs, t\u012bri noraiz\u0113jies, uzmin\u0113ja. Noskr\u0113jusi lej\u0101, paskat\u012bjos uz aug\u0161u, tur vi\u0146\u0161, ar elko\u0146iem atspiedies uz marg\u0101m, st\u0101v\u0113ja. Es vi\u0146am ska\u013c\u0101 bals\u012b, lai labi dzird, atvad\u0101m uzsaucu: “Lai Dievi\u0146\u0161 dod tev t\u0101du sievu, k\u0101ds tu man biji v\u012brs!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tie nebija nek\u0101di l\u0101sti, tie bija no sirds izteikti v\u0101rdi, bet p\u0113c p\u0101ris gadiem t\u0101 sagad\u012bj\u0101s, ka Celmi\u0146\u0161 nekad nezin\u0101ja, kur ir iekritusi sieva Nr. 2, Maija.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tolaik likums par laul\u012bbas \u0161\u0137ir\u0161anu piepras\u012bja sludin\u0101jumu av\u012bz\u0113. P\u0113c t\u0101da \u0161\u0137ir\u0161an\u0101s sludin\u0101juma pien\u0101ca vair\u0101kas v\u0113stules no tuviem un t\u0101liem novadiem. Daudzi v\u012brie\u0161i pied\u0101v\u0101j\u0101s b\u016bt par n\u0101ko\u0161o, vis\u0101di izce\u013cot savas lab\u0101s \u012bpa\u0161\u012bbas, bet par sliktaj\u0101m noklus\u0113jot. Un kur\u0101m gan nav labu \u012bpa\u0161\u012bbu? Kad ties\u0101 lika nosaukt \u0161\u0137ir\u0161an\u0101s iemeslus, es nevienu nenosaucu, jo k\u0101 lai es pilnas z\u0101les priek\u0161\u0101 teiktu kaut ko nesmuku par cilv\u0113ku, ar kuru tik ilgi kop\u0101 esmu dz\u012bvojusi. Glu\u017ei otr\u0101di, visiem zi\u0146k\u0101r\u012bgajiem par lielu vil\u0161anos raksturoju savu v\u012bru k\u0101 \u013coti talant\u012bgu m\u0101kslinieku un labu cilv\u0113ku, bet l\u016bdzu \u0161\u0137irt laul\u012bbu uz kl\u0101tpievienoto dokumentu pamata: Biju pap\u016bl\u0113jusies sav\u0101kt izzi\u0146as no atskurbtuves un milicijas iecirk\u0146iem, kuros v\u012brs tika sod\u012bts ar administrat\u012bviem sodiem par dzer\u0161anu, kau\u0161anos publisk\u0101s viet\u0101s un vitr\u012bnas izsi\u0161anu. Pirmaj\u0101 reiz\u0113 v\u012brs \u0161\u0137ir\u0161anos nedeva, bet otraj\u0101 es vi\u0146u uzpirku, jo da\u017eu m\u0113ne\u0161u laik\u0101 vi\u0146\u0161 bija pasp\u0113jis visu noplivin\u0101t un palicis bez gra\u0161a. Celmi\u0146\u0161 t\u0101dam dar\u012bjumam piekrita, v\u0113l jo vair\u0101k t\u0101d\u0113\u013c, ka jaun\u0101 draudzene Maija, p\u0113c tam, kad Celmi\u0146\u0161 pirmaj\u0101 reiz\u0113 nedeva man \u0161\u0137ir\u0161anos, turpat tiesas z\u0101l\u0113 ar ballu somu vi\u0146am vair\u0101kas reizes iesita pa galvu. Vai nu no vieglajiem sitieniem, vai citu iemeslu d\u0113\u013c galva apskaidroj\u0101s, un m\u0113s var\u0113j\u0101m mier\u012bgi un jauki iz\u0161\u0137irties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tikusi laim\u012bgi gal\u0101 ar nepat\u012bkamaj\u0101m tiesas dar\u012b\u0161an\u0101m, es uzaicin\u0101ju biju\u0161o v\u012bru kop\u0101 ar n\u0101kamo l\u012bgavu Maiju uz restor\u0101nu. Maijai v\u0113l bija l\u012bdzi tuva draudzene Vijol\u012bte vai Vizbul\u012bte, vai t\u0101 ar\u012b varot n\u0101kt. Bet, l\u016bdzu, lai tik n\u0101k, es maks\u0101ju! Un bija v\u0113rts vienu reizi m\u016b\u017e\u0101 samaks\u0101t, lai redz\u0113tu, cik divas sievietes var izdzert. T\u0101 bija klase! Jo es nedz\u0113ru nemaz, biju\u0161ais v\u012brs m\u0113reni, bet tr\u012bs trauki tika iztuk\u0161oti. Fin\u0101l\u0101 restor\u0101na Lira garderob\u0113 l\u012bgava ar l\u012bgavaini sastr\u012bd\u0113j\u0101s, Celmi\u0146\u0161, uz ielas izskr\u0113jis, aptur\u0113ja taksometru, veikli ievilka mani taks\u012b un aizveda pie sevis uz m\u0101ju. Ce\u013c\u0101 es centos vi\u0146u pierun\u0101t, lai brauc l\u012bdz savai m\u0101jai un es p\u0113c tam brauk\u0161u uz J\u016brmalu, bet man ir t\u0101ds iedzimts tr\u016bkums – es nevaru atteikt l\u016bdz\u0113jam. Pierun\u0101ja mani. Uzg\u0101j\u0101m aug\u0161\u0101, v\u012bram\u0101te v\u0113l negul\u0113ja. Trijat\u0101 pie pudeles laba v\u012bna nos\u0113d\u0113j\u0101m l\u012bdz r\u012bta gaismai. P\u0101rrun\u0101j\u0101m dz\u012bvi. M\u0101te r\u0101ja d\u0113lu par izdar\u012bt\u0101m k\u013c\u016bd\u0101m, bet ko nu vairs!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tirg\u016b str\u0101d\u0101dama, nopeln\u012bju labi un var\u0113ju sevi lutin\u0101t, k\u0101 vien grib\u0113ju. Pirku visu, ko sirds k\u0101roja. Turpat noliktav\u0101s var\u0113ju sev izv\u0113l\u0113ties skaist\u0101kos audumus, \u0161\u016bt vienu ap\u0123\u0113rbu p\u0113c otra. T\u0101 tik bija dz\u012bve! T\u0101du v\u0113l nekad netiku baud\u012bjusi un, b\u016bdama bezgal\u012bg\u0101 saj\u016bsm\u0101 pati par sevi, sarun\u0101s ar cit\u0101m sieviet\u0113m vienm\u0113r apgalvoju, ka nekad sav\u0101 m\u016b\u017e\u0101 ne ar vienu savu dz\u012bvi vairs nesaist\u012b\u0161u.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

K\u0101d\u0101 algas dien\u0101 tirg\u016b izc\u0113l\u0101s satraukums: nav atvesta nauda. Bank\u0101 neesot naudas algu izmaks\u0101m. Fi\u0161mans no cepuru noda\u013cas g\u0101jis zvan\u012bt tirdzniec\u012bbas uz\u0146\u0113muma direktoram Rozenbl\u016bmam, bet Rozenbl\u016bma atbilde bijusi t\u0101da: “Ja Centr\u0101ltirgus p\u0101rdev\u0113jiem – neizmaks\u0101s algu veselu gadu, varu galvot, neviens nerakst\u012bs atl\u016bgumu!” Sp\u0113c\u012bgi teikts. Un vi\u0146am bija taisn\u012bba. Tur katrs var\u0113ja nopeln\u012bt tik, cik v\u0113l\u0113j\u0101s risk\u0113t. T\u0101di ar azarta tieksm\u0113m risk\u0113ja p\u0101rgalv\u012bgi un k\u013cuva \u013coti bag\u0101ti. Toreiz v\u0113l jauni\u0146ajam baletdejot\u0101jam M\u0101rim Liepam m\u0101te risk\u0113ja ar “kreisaj\u0101m jak\u0101m”. No Krievijas iebrauku\u0161ie pirka ad\u012bt\u0101s vilnas jakas maisiem, un, jo bezgaum\u012bg\u0101kas jo lab\u0101k g\u0101ja Es toreiz M\u0101rim pajaut\u0101ju, k\u0101d\u0113\u013c vi\u0146\u0161 pamet Latviju un labpr\u0101t\u012bgi p\u0101rce\u013cas uz Maskavu. Lielais te\u0101tris pied\u0101v\u0101jot divas reizes liel\u0101ku algu nek\u0101 R\u012bgas operas te\u0101tris. Bet m\u0101te tak nopelna un ir uzc\u0113lusi R\u012bgas centr\u0101 skaistu m\u0101ju, kur\u0101 es esmu redz\u0113jusi ar\u012b iek\u0161pusi: Kam v\u0113l citam m\u0101te t\u0101 p\u016bl\u0113j\u0101s, ja ne saviem b\u0113rniem. M\u0101ris nebija p\u0101rliecin\u0101ms, grib\u0113ja pats dz\u012bvot savu dz\u012bvi, tais\u012bt karjeru Maskav\u0101. Mani savuk\u0101rt citi m\u0113\u0123in\u0101ja p\u0101rliecin\u0101t, lai \u0146emot apb\u016bves gabalu Jugl\u0101 un b\u016bv\u0113jot m\u0101ju, ja man nav kur dz\u012bvot. N\u0113, ar m\u0101ju mani iek\u0101rdin\u0101t nevar\u0113ja. K\u0101da var b\u016bt okup\u0113t\u0101 zem\u0113 garantija: k\u0101d\u0101 jauk\u0101 dien\u0101 izdos jaunu likumu un m\u0101ju at\u0146ems. Bez tam man risk\u0113t nepatika. Sav\u0101 zi\u0146\u0101 var\u0113ju uzskat\u012bt sevi par pietic\u012bgu, jo bez sevi\u0161\u0137a riska mani ien\u0101kumi p\u0101rsniedza izdevumus. Kad man no rokas pied\u0101v\u0101ja ant\u012bkus zelta auskarus par 2000 rub\u013ciem, es tos ar prieku nopirku. T\u0101pat var\u0113ju at\u013cauties visu, kas man patika.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“TARZ\u0100NS N\u0100K”<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Tirdzniec\u012bbas uz\u0146\u0113mums bija pie\u0146\u0113mis darb\u0101 \u013coti cent\u012bgu inspektoru no Maskavas – Dmitriju Jakov\u013cevu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tas bija v\u0113l gados jauns cilv\u0113ks, liela auguma un tukls, p\u0113csejas nedaudz l\u012bdz\u012bgs amerik\u0101\u0146u aktierim D\u017eonijam Veismilleram, t\u0101d\u0113\u013c k\u0101ds aspr\u0101t\u012bgais izdom\u0101ja iesauku “Tarz\u0101ns”. Vi\u0146\u0161 izskat\u012bj\u0101s \u013coti bargs, un no vi\u0146a visi baid\u012bj\u0101s. Ieg\u0101jis k\u0101d\u0101 veikali\u0146\u0101 vai noliktav\u0101, vi\u0146\u0161 vienm\u0113r kaut ko konstat\u0113ja, kas nesakr\u012bt ar likumu. Ja k\u0101ds pa gabalu “Tarz\u0101nu” paman\u012bja, tad steidz\u0101s pazi\u0146ot tuv\u0101kaj\u0101s b\u016bd\u0101s, un t\u0101l\u0101k pa “iek\u0161\u0113jo telegr\u0101fu” p\u0101ris min\u016bt\u0113s tirgu p\u0101r\u0161alca zi\u0146a: “Tarz\u0101ns n\u0101k!” Visi veikali\u0146u vad\u012bt\u0101ji steidz\u012bgi samekl\u0113ja aploksnes, un katrs, ielicis simtnieku aploksn\u0113, to r\u016bp\u012bgi aizl\u012bm\u0113ja, ielika kabat\u0101 un gaid\u012bja… Kad dusm\u012bgais “Tarz\u0101ns”, salas\u012bjis visas aploksnes un pie viena pamat\u012bgi izlam\u0101jis nobiju\u0161os \u017e\u012bdi\u0146us, att\u0101lin\u0101j\u0101s, visi atviegloti uzelpoja. Kam\u0113r nebiju veikala vad\u012bt\u0101ja, man gar “Tarz\u0101nu” nek\u0101das da\u013cas nebija. Bet reiz mani pret pa\u0161as gribu noz\u012bm\u0113ja uz laiku par veikala vad\u012bt\u0101ju, jo past\u0101v\u012bg\u0101 vad\u012bt\u0101ja aizg\u0101ja dekr\u0113t\u0101. Protams, p\u0113c nerakst\u012btajiem likumiem mani vispirms iepaz\u012bstin\u0101ja person\u012bgi ar “kreis\u0101s” preces pieg\u0101d\u0101t\u0101jiem. No sve\u0161iem nekad neko ne\u0146\u0113mu. Pieg\u0101d\u0101ja ad\u012bt\u0101s jakas un frot\u0113 dvie\u013cu. P\u0101rdodot k\u0101du jaku vai dvieli, iesai\u0146o\u0161anas br\u012bd\u012b bija j\u0101nopl\u0113\u0161 pre\u010du z\u012bme un t\u0101 j\u0101pie\u0161uj “kreisajai” precei. T\u0101s, kur\u0101m v\u0113l z\u012bmes nav pie\u0161\u016btas, pamat\u012bgi j\u0101nosl\u0113pj. Es sl\u0113pu preces starp vat\u0113taj\u0101m seg\u0101m, pa\u0161\u0101 apak\u0161\u0101. Biju tikko k\u0101dai pirc\u0113jai iesai\u0146ojusi frot\u0113 dvieli un noraut\u0101 pre\u010du z\u012bm\u012bte gul\u0113ja zem\u0113, kad, kur gad\u012bjies, kur ne, “Tarz\u0101ns” iemet\u0101s man\u0101 b\u016bd\u0101. Laikam izskat\u012bjos p\u0101rlieku nobijusies, bet pasp\u0113ju uzk\u0101pt z\u012bm\u012btei ar k\u0101ju, kad “Tarz\u0101ns”, t\u0101 sav\u0101di uz mani paskat\u012bjies, jaut\u0101ja – kas noticis? Mirkli stom\u012bjos, bet tad klus\u0101, v\u0101rg\u0101 bals\u012b atteicu: biju uzk\u0101pusi, l\u016bk, te uz kr\u0113sla, grib\u0113ju sak\u0101rtot aug\u0161\u0113jo plauktu, bet laikam sastiepu muguru, tagad s\u0101p, pat parun\u0101t gr\u016bti. Paskat\u012bjies pulksteni, “Tarz\u0101ns” pav\u0113l\u0113ja sl\u0113gt ciet, jo tikai stunda v\u0113l j\u0101str\u0101d\u0101. Lai es braucot m\u0101j\u0101s, vi\u0146\u0161 pasauk\u0161ot taks\u012bti. Un es pat nedom\u0101ju vi\u0146am nek\u0101du aploksni dot! Visiem par lielu izbr\u012bnu, aizsl\u0113gusi veikalu, l\u0113n\u0101m, tur\u0113dam\u0101s “Tarz\u0101nam” pie rokas, izg\u0101ju pa v\u0101rtiem. Otr\u0101 dien\u0101 visi amiz\u0113j\u0101s, k\u0101 es piem\u0101n\u012bju “Tarz\u0101nu”. Gadus divus iz\u0101rd\u012bjies pa Centr\u0101ltirgu, “Tarz\u0101ns” pameta inspektora pien\u0101kumus un p\u0101rg\u0101ja str\u0101d\u0101t uzpirk\u0161anas punkt\u0101 par priek\u0161nieku, protams. Tad p\u0101rc\u0113l\u0101s atpaka\u013c uz Maskavu, bet R\u012bgu neaizmirsa un \u0161ad tad atlidoja uz R\u012bgu pa\u0113st vakari\u0146as, papriec\u0101ties ar skaist\u0101m r\u012bdziniec\u0113m un no r\u012bta ar pirmo lidma\u0161\u012bnu lidoja atpaka\u013c. Toreiz lidojums maks\u0101ja 17 rub\u013cus, ar taks\u012bti pa R\u012bgu vien var\u0113ja vair\u0101k nobraukt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u0113c apm\u0113ram pieciem gadiem k\u0101d\u0101 smalk\u0101 krievu \u0123imen\u0113 piedal\u012bjos vies\u012bb\u0101s, uz kur\u0101m no Maskavas bija ieradies Centr\u0101ltirgus k\u0101dreiz\u0113jais finansu inspektors Dmitrijs Dmitrijevi\u010ds Jakov\u013cevs. Vi\u0146\u0161 mani atcer\u0113j\u0101s. Sarunu gait\u0101 atkl\u0101j\u0101s, ka Jakov\u013cevs mekl\u0113 sev uztic\u012bbas personu priv\u0101t\u0101m vajadz\u012bb\u0101m, t\u0101du, kas prot ang\u013cu valodu un klus\u0113t. Vies\u012bbu r\u012bkot\u0101ja vi\u0146am bija pa\u010dukst\u0113jusi, ka es protu ne tikai ang\u013cu, bet ar\u012b v\u0101cu, zviedru un v\u0113l citas valodas un ka uz mani noteikti var pa\u013cauties. P\u0113c laici\u0146a Jakov\u013cevs pal\u016bdza, lai es ien\u0101kot blakus telp\u0101 parun\u0101ties. Vi\u0146\u0161 pajaut\u0101ja, k\u0101das valodas es protu, bija apmierin\u0101ts ar manu atbildi un pied\u0101v\u0101ja darbu Maskav\u0101. Vi\u0146am esot daudz dar\u012b\u0161anu ar \u0101rzemniekiem, pats valodas nezinot, alga man b\u016b\u0161ot 5000 rub\u013cu m\u0113nes\u012b un dz\u012bvoklis Maskavas centr\u0101. Es teicu “n\u0113”. Nu, tad 6000 m\u0113nes\u012b. Paliku pie sava. Jakov\u013cevs nevar\u0113ja to saprast. Vai tad man pr\u0101ta nemaz neesot, ja atsakos no tik liela atalgojuma. Varb\u016bt es baidoties? Man nek\u0101d\u0101 zi\u0146\u0101 nek\u0101das nepatik\u0161anas nedraudot, ja gad\u012bjum\u0101 mani k\u0101ds grib\u0113tu aiztur\u0113t vai ko jaut\u0101t, lai tikai pasakot, ka visu daru Jakov\u013ceva uzdevum\u0101. Vi\u0146am jau sen esot k\u0101da pal\u012bdze – inval\u012bde, kura pie\u0146emot visus pazi\u0146ojumus un koordin\u0101cijas, s\u0113\u017eot sav\u0101 m\u0101j\u0101 inval\u012bdu rati\u0146os pie telefona. Es tom\u0113r atsac\u012bjos. Lai gan man nav kur dz\u012bvot, lai ar\u012b ien\u0101kumu nav, jo tad vairs tirg\u016b nestr\u0101d\u0101ju, tom\u0113r nepiekritu atst\u0101t dzimteni naudas d\u0113\u013c. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

V\u0113l p\u0113c diviem gadiem – 1961. gada ruden\u012b – sa\u0146\u0113mu pav\u0113sti ierasties Stabu iel\u0101. Tur man jaut\u0101ja, vai es paz\u012bstu Dmitriju Dmitrija d\u0113lu Jakov\u013cevu. Protams, ka paz\u012bstu, jo toreiz, kad es str\u0101d\u0101ju par p\u0101rdev\u0113ju, vi\u0146\u0161 bija tirdzniec\u012bbas uz\u0146\u0113muma inspektors un bie\u017ei n\u0101ca p\u0101rbaud\u012bt m\u016bsu veikali\u0146us Centr\u0101ltirg\u016b. Uz k\u0101diem citiem simts jaut\u0101jumiem mana atbilde bija “nezinu.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vai esmu redz\u0113jusi Jakov\u013cevu p\u0113c tam, vai bija labi \u0123\u0113rbies?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“J\u0101, redz\u0113ju restor\u0101n\u0101, bija labi \u0123\u0113rbies.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Vai daudz t\u0113r\u0113j\u0101s restor\u0101n\u0101?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“K\u0101 lai es to zinu, es ar vi\u0146u restor\u0101n\u0101 neesmu s\u0113d\u0113jusi.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1961. gada ruden\u012b Jakov\u013cevam Maskav\u0101 piesprieda n\u0101vessodu par val\u016btas dar\u012bjumiem. Esot atrasti divi miljoni dol\u0101ru. K\u0101ds izmekl\u0113t\u0101js esot izteicies, ka ar Jakov\u013ceva zin\u0101\u0161an\u0101m finansu jaut\u0101jumos vi\u0146\u0161 b\u016btu izcils PSRS finansu ministrs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

V\u0113l p\u0113c pusgada k\u0101 sapratu, vi\u0146am n\u0101vessods nebija izpild\u012bts, jo vi\u0146u pratin\u0101ja man\u0101 “liet\u0101”. J\u0101dom\u0101, ka n\u0101vessodu visp\u0101r atc\u0113la, samainot pret ilgtermi\u0146a cietumsodu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tirg\u016b biju nostr\u0101d\u0101jusi \u010detrus gadus un da\u017eus m\u0113ne\u0161us, kad s\u0101k\u0101s aresti. Pirmo apcietin\u0101ja audumu noda\u013cas vad\u012bt\u0101ju. Izc\u0113l\u0101s panika, un p\u0101r\u0113jie s\u0101ka uzman\u012bties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

DIVI ERIKSONI<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Pamat\u012bga lietus g\u0101ze piespieda mani apst\u0101ties zem kupli salapoju\u0161\u0101s liepas, uz st\u016bra pie milicijas p\u0101rvaldes. T\u0101 nu es tur st\u0101v\u0113ju labu br\u012bdi. Ja ar\u012b b\u016btu lietussargs, vienalga, nekur t\u0101l\u0101k neb\u016btu tikusi, jo manas grezn\u0101s, zir\u0146uza\u013c\u0101s zam\u0161\u0101das kurpes t\u0101du slapjumu neiztur\u0113tu. Manu uzman\u012bbu piesaist\u012bja divi jaunek\u013ci sniegbaltos kreklos. Vi\u0146i, izlieku\u0161ies pa “Metropoles” viesn\u012bcas logu, vis\u0101di \u0101kst\u012bj\u0101s, lai es vi\u0146us paman\u012btu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vi\u0146i m\u0101ja man un da\u017e\u0101di lika saprast, ka lietus laik\u0101 patv\u0113rums j\u0101mekl\u0113 viesn\u012bc\u0101. Es t\u0101d\u0101s dom\u0101s nebiju un turpin\u0101ju st\u0101v\u0113t. P\u0113c izskata un iztur\u0113\u0161an\u0101s var\u0113ju saprast, ka pui\u0161i nebija krievi. Dom\u0101ju – igau\u0146i, varb\u016bt atkal iebraucis Gustava Ernesaksa vad\u012btais v\u012bru koris, es reiz Universit\u0101tes aul\u0101 to noklaus\u012bjos. Man patika, tikai no\u017e\u0113loju, ka nebiju bijusi tikpat attap\u012bga, k\u0101 citi latvie\u0161u klaus\u012bt\u0101ji, kuri koncerta beig\u0101s svieda uz skatuves ziedu pu\u0161\u0137\u012b\u0161us zili – melni – balt\u0101 sak\u0101rtojum\u0101… T\u0101s bija atraitn\u012btes, jo da\u017e\u0101m atraitn\u012bt\u0113m ir vismeln\u0101kie ziedi. Nu, ja igau\u0146i, tad var nedaudz aprun\u0101ties. Ar \u017eestu nor\u0101d\u012bju, lai n\u0101k past\u0101v\u0113t zem liepas. Es gan nedom\u0101ju, ka t\u0101d\u0101 liet\u016b k\u0101ds skries, bet atskr\u0113ja gan. Ta\u010du mani igau\u0146i ne v\u0101rda nerun\u0101ja krieviski, augum\u0101 maz\u0101kais pavisam nedaudz run\u0101ja v\u0101ciski. Otrs – \u013coti gar\u0161 un neiedom\u0101jami skaists, nerun\u0101ja neko. J\u0101, nu kas to b\u016btu dom\u0101jis, R\u012bg\u0101 garlaikoj\u0101s zviedru futbolisti, t\u0101d\u0113\u013c aicin\u0101ja mani viesn\u012bc\u0101. Teicu, ka nek\u0101d\u0101 zi\u0146\u0101 viesn\u012bc\u0101 neie\u0161u, kaut ar\u012b l\u012btu visu nakti. To zviedri nesp\u0113ja saprast: Vestibil\u0101 esot kr\u0113sli, tur varot pas\u0113d\u0113t. Kad vi\u0146i saprata, ka velti p\u016blas, tad, sav\u0101 starp\u0101 apspriedu\u0161ies, aicin\u0101ja vakar\u0101 uz k\u0101du restor\u0101nu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Norun\u0101j\u0101m satikties pie operas – ja nel\u012bs. Vakars bija jauks, zviedri labos, gai\u0161i pel\u0113kos uzvalkos izskat\u012bj\u0101s bezmaz k\u0101 kinoaktieri, un, lai gan valodas barjera trauc\u0113ja norm\u0101li parun\u0101ties, dejo\u0161anu nekas netrauc\u0113ja. M\u016bzika “Astorij\u0101” toreiz \u0161\u0137ita pie\u0146emama. Restor\u0101n\u0101 bij\u0101m l\u012bdz sl\u0113g\u0161anai: Pa to laiku bij\u0101m sapazinu\u0161ies, garais man uz salvetes uzrakst\u012bja savu v\u0101rdu un adresi – Arne Eriksons no S\u014ddertaljes. Vi\u0146\u0161 l\u016bdza, lai es ar\u012b uzrakstu savu. To ar\u012b izdar\u012bju, tikai dom\u0101ju – k\u0101d\u0101 valod\u0101 tad m\u0113s viens otram rakst\u012bsim, vai ar tulku pal\u012bdz\u012bbu? V\u0113l Arne Eriksons otrajam lika man ieskaidrot, lai es braucu noskat\u012bties futbola sac\u012bkstes sv\u0113tdien Vi\u013c\u0146\u0101, vi\u0146\u0161 st\u0101v\u0113\u0161ot v\u0101rtos, jo esot v\u0101rtsargs. Neteicu ne j\u0101, ne n\u0113, apsol\u012bju gan padom\u0101t. Arne Eriksons pavad\u012bja mani l\u012bdz dzelzce\u013ca stacijai, pa ce\u013cam es t\u0101pat ar roku aptuveni par\u0101diju, kur es str\u0101d\u0101ju. Man par milz\u012bgu p\u0101rsteigumu ap vienpadsmitiem no r\u012bta ieraudz\u012bju Arni Eriksonu groz\u0101mies pa Centr\u0101ltirgus lielo pagalmu. Pieg\u0101jusi vi\u0146am kl\u0101t un sa\u0146\u0113musi aiz rokas, pievedu pie sava veikala un iedevu apskat\u012bties da\u017eus fotoapar\u0101tus. Bet gados jaun\u0101s tirgus p\u0101rdev\u0113jas jau pirms manis vi\u0146u bija iev\u0113roju\u0161as un p\u0113c tam redz\u0113ju\u0161as, ka tas man paz\u012bstams. Kad p\u0113c Eriksona pavad\u012b\u0161anas atgriezos sav\u0101 viet\u0101, man vairs miera nebija: kas tas skaistais v\u012brietis, no kurienes? Un k\u0101das vi\u0146am kurpes!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Garas un tik smailiem purniem! Un k\u0101ds skaists uzvalks! Un friz\u016bra! Visu bija noskat\u012bju\u0161as. Un kur es t\u0101du izrakusi? Es pati gan nemaz t\u0101d\u0101 saj\u016bsm\u0101 par Eriksonu nebiju k\u0101 manas darba kol\u0113\u0123es, jo ar izskatu vien, bez valodas man cilv\u0113ks \u0161\u0137ita nepilnv\u0113rt\u012bgs. K\u0101 jauns cilv\u0113ks var dz\u012bvot bez ang\u013cu valodas? Bet varb\u016bt man der\u0113tu pam\u0101c\u012bties zviedriski? Bet k\u0101? Kur \u0146emt v\u0101rdn\u012bcu? Taj\u0101 pa\u0161\u0101 dien\u0101 p\u0113c darba ieg\u0101ju antikvari\u0101t\u0101 un atradu v\u0101cu-zviedru v\u0101rdn\u012bcu, tie\u0161i t\u0101du, k\u0101 man vajadz\u012bga, un jau pirmaj\u0101 vakar\u0101 iekalu k\u0101dus piecdesmit v\u0101rdus. Lai neaizmirstu, izrakst\u012bju tos uz pap\u012bra lapas un darb\u0101 tur\u0113ju kabat\u0101, lai ik pa br\u012bdim p\u0101rbaud\u012btu savu atmi\u0146u. Visu piektdienas vakaru izrakst\u012bju no v\u0101rdn\u012bcas vajadz\u012bgos zviedru v\u0101rdus, bet sestdien\u0101 nopirku bi\u013ceti uz Vi\u013c\u0146u. Grib\u0113ju pier\u0101d\u012bt, ko v\u0113rta sieviete, kas divos vakaros var iem\u0101c\u012bties sve\u0161\u0101 valod\u0101 simt v\u0101rdus!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vilciena kupej\u0101 ie\u0146\u0113mu vietu pie loga un priec\u0101jos, ka kupej\u0101 citu brauc\u0113ju nebija. V\u0101rdn\u012bcu biju pa\u0146\u0113musi l\u012bdzi, lai v\u0113l pam\u0101c\u012btos. Bet nekas neizn\u0101ca. P\u0113d\u0113j\u0101 min\u016bt\u0113 man tie\u0161i pret\u012b aps\u0113d\u0101s jauna krieviete un ne no \u0161\u0101, ne no t\u0101, bez \u012bpa\u0161a ievada s\u0101ka ar mani p\u013c\u0101p\u0101t. Pie Jelgavas es jau zin\u0101ju, ka vi\u0146a brauc uz Vi\u013c\u0146u pie sava l\u012bgavai\u0146a, k\u0101da zviedru futbolista, un ka Vi\u013c\u0146\u0101 vi\u0146i salaul\u0101\u0161oties. Man k\u013cuva t\u012bri neomul\u012bgi, klausoties t\u0101das priv\u0101ta rakstura zi\u0146as, bet tad man ien\u0101ca pr\u0101t\u0101 – varb\u016bt Arne Eriksons ir vi\u0146as l\u012bgavainis? Dro\u0161s paliek dro\u0161s, pajaut\u0101ju, k\u0101 l\u012bgavaini sauc. N\u0113, tas nebija Arne. Ak tu debesti\u0146, krieviete precas ar zviedru! Nezin ar ko vi\u0146a zviedru ie\u0113din\u0101jusi, jo skaista nebija, kur v\u0113l negl\u012bt\u0101s, l\u012bk\u0101s k\u0101jas! Laikam pa tumsu vien tiku\u0161ies, un zviedrs savu l\u012bgavu v\u0113l t\u0101 \u012bsti nav apskat\u012bjis, bet varb\u016bt niekus vien krieviete man sap\u013c\u0101p\u0101jusi, varb\u016bt t\u0101pat k\u0101 es k\u0101du vakaru kop\u0101 pas\u0113d\u0113jusi un nu iedom\u0101j\u0101s, ka t\u016bl\u012bt prec\u0113sies. Es sve\u0161ajai krievietei gan neteicu, k\u0101d\u0113\u013c braucu uz Vi\u013c\u0146u, vien\u012bgi, starp citu, iemin\u0113jos, ar\u012b varb\u016bt ie\u0161u futbolu paskat\u012bties. Vi\u0146a v\u0113l painteres\u0113j\u0101s, kur es Vi\u013c\u0146\u0101 apmet\u012b\u0161oties, sac\u012bju – varb\u016bt pie radiem, varb\u016bt viesn\u012bc\u0101.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vi\u013c\u0146as stacij\u0101 pa\u0146\u0113m\u0101m taksometru l\u012bdz centram, vi\u0146a izk\u0101pa pie viesn\u012bcas, es pal\u016bdzu mani aizvest p\u0101ris ielas t\u0101l\u0101k. Pa gabalu nov\u0113roju, ka \u0145ina pie viesn\u012bcas durv\u012bm satikusi da\u017eus zviedrus, vareni \u017eestikul\u0113ja un laikam s\u016bt\u012bja samekl\u0113t savu iedom\u0101to l\u012bgavaini. P\u0113c laici\u0146a es pa ielas otro pusi l\u0113n\u0101m tuvojos viesn\u012bcai, un, it k\u0101 b\u016btu norun\u0101ta tik\u0161an\u0101s, no pret\u0113j\u0101s puses man pret\u012b n\u0101ca Arne Eriksons. Vedin\u0101ju vi\u0146u \u0101tr\u0101k prom no viesn\u012bcas. Staig\u0101j\u0101m gar upes krastu, tur es Eriksonu vair\u0101kas reizes nofotograf\u0113ju un pie viena nodemonstr\u0113ju vi\u0146am, cik \u012bs\u0101 laik\u0101 varu apg\u016bt simt v\u0101rdus sve\u0161\u0101 valod\u0101. S\u0101ka kr\u0113slot, sve\u0161\u0101 viet\u0101 negrib\u0113ju tums\u0101 staig\u0101t, t\u0101d\u0113\u013c atvad\u012bj\u0101mies un norun\u0101j\u0101m pirms sp\u0113les v\u0113l satikties. Naktsm\u0101jas nevien\u0101 viesn\u012bc\u0101 nedab\u016bju, bet taj\u0101, kur \u0145ina ieg\u0101ja, neg\u0101ju un sapratu, ka tur t\u0101pat neb\u016bs vietas. Ieg\u0101ju telegr\u0101f\u0101 un nol\u0113mu tur pas\u0113d\u0113t l\u012bdz r\u012btam.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Telegr\u0101fa darbiniece, pusnakt\u012b beigusi darbu, mani uzrun\u0101ja un pajaut\u0101ja, no kurienes es esot. Nu, ja no R\u012bgas, tad varot dro\u0161i iet vi\u0146ai l\u012bdzi, vi\u0146a man do\u0161ot naktsm\u0101jas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Izgul\u0113jos t\u012br\u0101 gult\u0101, iedevu par laipn\u012bbu naudu un sapuc\u0113jusies g\u0101ju uz randi\u0146u. Ar v\u0101rdn\u012bcas pal\u012bdz\u012bbu izskaidroju, ka p\u0113c sp\u0113les m\u0113s vair\u0101k satikties nevar\u0113sim: man j\u0101lido ar vakara lidma\u0161\u012bnu atpaka\u013c, jo no r\u012bta j\u0101b\u016bt darb\u0101. Vi\u0146\u0161 saprata. Sol\u012bjos rakst\u012bt, vi\u0146\u0161 ar\u012b, un t\u0101 atvad\u012bj\u0101mies. Savu braucienu neno\u017e\u0113loju, skaistie romantiskie mirk\u013ci ienesa pat\u012bkamas p\u0101rmai\u0146as man\u0101 pel\u0113kaj\u0101 ikdien\u0101. G\u0101ju gabali\u0146u viena, tad nol\u0113mu painteres\u0113ties, kur p\u0101rdod bi\u013cetes futbola sac\u012bkst\u0113m. Braucu uz stadionu, tur kas\u0113s bi\u013ce\u0161u nebija. Mani aiz elko\u0146a satv\u0113ra \u0145ina, vi\u0146ai ar\u012b nebija bi\u013cetes. Ko nu dar\u012bt, ab\u0101m j\u0101tiek iek\u0161\u0101! \u0145ina dom\u0101ja dot naudu bi\u013ce\u0161u kontrolieriem, es teicu: nekas neizn\u0101ks, p\u0101r\u0101k daudz mili\u010du visapk\u0101rt. Tad es \u0145inai teicu: skriesim t\u0101pat iek\u0161\u0101, tikai neapst\u0101jies! Rok\u0101s tur\u0113dama savu fotoapar\u0101tu ar lielo objekt\u012bvu, metos skriet, pie kontroles kliedzu: “Press photo! Gazeta photo!” Un iek\u0161\u0101 bij\u0101m p\u0113d\u0113j\u0101 br\u012bd\u012b, jo pulkstenis r\u0101d\u012bja, ka p\u0113c div\u0101m min\u016bt\u0113m ies va\u013c\u0101. Sp\u0113l\u0113ja jau himnu, kad atrad\u0101m tuk\u0161as vietas solu galos, kur piemesties. \u0145ina, b\u016bdama man bezgala pateic\u012bga, mani bag\u0101t\u012bgi apd\u0101vin\u0101ja ar ko\u0161\u013c\u0101jamo gumiju, cigaret\u0113m, \u0161okol\u0101di. Arne Eriksons st\u0101v\u0113ja v\u0101rtos, bet zviedri nosp\u0113l\u0113ja v\u0101ji. Da\u017eas dienas v\u0113l\u0101k \u0145ina atn\u0101ca uz tirgu un par\u0101d\u012bja man savu pasi, izgreznotu ar zviedrisko v\u0101rdu un uzv\u0101rdu. Laul\u012bbas notiku\u0161as pirmdien\u0101, bet otrdien jaunais v\u012brs jau atvad\u012bjies. Vi\u0146\u0161 no Zviedrijas nok\u0101rto\u0161ot sievai izsaukumu. Bet tas nekad nenotika: Tik vien bija t\u0101 prieka k\u0101 z\u012bmogs pas\u0113.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

S\u0101ka dzelt\u0113t lapas, tuvoj\u0101s rudens. K\u0101du dienu pie manis uz darbu atn\u0101ca paz\u012bstams m\u016bzi\u0137is – vijolnieks Valent\u012bns L\u016bsis. Nosl\u0113pumaini smaid\u012bdams, vi\u0146\u0161 izpra\u0161\u0146\u0101ja, k\u0101 man ar \u0123imenes dz\u012bvi, vai man esot k\u0101di br\u012bvi vakari? Nezin\u0101ju \u012bsti, ko atbild\u0113t, t\u0101d\u0113\u013c neko noteiktu nepateicu. Tad vi\u0146\u0161 n\u0101ca klaj\u0101 ar skaidr\u0101ku priek\u0161likumu. Sp\u0113l\u0113dams vijoli lidostas restor\u0101n\u0101, vi\u0146\u0161 esot sadraudz\u0113jies ar Skandin\u0101vijas avi\u0101cijas p\u0101rst\u0101vi R\u012bg\u0101. Tas esot \u013coti inteli\u0123ents, pat\u012bkams zviedru kungs, kuram esot R\u012bg\u0101 j\u0101dz\u012bvo un j\u0101str\u0101d\u0101. Zviedru kungs j\u016btoties vientu\u013c\u0161, un varb\u016bt m\u0113s visi tr\u012bs, kad L\u016bsim lidost\u0101 nav j\u0101sp\u0113l\u0113, k\u0101du vakaru var\u0113tu pas\u0113d\u0113t restor\u0101n\u0101. Zviedru kungs protot v\u0101cu un ang\u013cu valodu, bet es nu esot t\u0101 vien\u012bg\u0101, ko L\u016bsis paz\u012bst un kura var\u0113tu sarun\u0101ties ar zviedru kungu. Es L\u016bsim neteicu, ka jau divus m\u0113ne\u0161us katru vakaru se\u0161as stundas m\u0101cos zviedriski un sv\u0113tdien\u0101s klausos bazn\u012bcas p\u0101rraides no Stokholmas, jo m\u0101c\u012bt\u0101js run\u0101 l\u0113ni, un es varu sekot v\u0101rdiem un izrunai. T\u0101pat esmu jau piecas v\u0113stules savam zviedru draugam uzrakst\u012bjusi, kas par to, ka atbildes neesmu sa\u0146\u0113musi. Teicu, ka padom\u0101\u0161u. P\u0113c ned\u0113\u013cas L\u016bsis kl\u0101t. Lai es pirmdienas vakar\u0101 esot gatava, vi\u0146i mani gaid\u012b\u0161ot pie Cirka, un Kauk\u0101za restor\u0101n\u0101 m\u0113s \u0113d\u012b\u0161ot vakari\u0146as. Zviedru kungs st\u0101d\u012bj\u0101s priek\u0161\u0101 – Juhans Eriksons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kungs jau pirmo jaun\u012bbu p\u0101rdz\u012bvojis, mati uz galvas stipri \u0161\u0137idri, tendence uz korpulenci, n\u0113, te nu nek\u0101 interesanta nebija, bez tam jau pirmaj\u0101 vakar\u0101 d\u016b\u0161\u012bgi dz\u0113ra un piedz\u0113r\u0101s. Restor\u0101n\u0101 pie lab\u0101m vakari\u0146\u0101m vald\u012bja \u012bsta jautr\u012bba, Eriksons daudz run\u0101ja, pie tam interesanti, k\u0101 jau sabiedr\u012bbas cilv\u0113ks, kur\u0161 pasaul\u0113 daudz redz\u0113jis.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Eriksons deva priek\u0161roku ang\u013cu valodai, jo v\u0101cu valod\u0101 nejut\u0101s visai veikls. Kad p\u0113c k\u0101das stundas \u0161o to pateicu zviedriski, Eriksons izr\u0101d\u012bja neviltotu saj\u016bsmu. Vakari\u0146as beidz\u0101s reiz\u0113 ar restor\u0101na sl\u0113g\u0161anu. Mani k\u0101 princesi ar taks\u012bti pieveda pie v\u0101rtiem Konkordijas iel\u0101 Majoros, p\u0113c tam Eriksons, galanti atvad\u012bjies, brauca atpaka\u013c uz savu viesn\u012bcu “Metropole”. Bez \u0161aub\u0101m, norun\u0101ja ar mani dienu, kad atkal tiksimies un iesim uz restor\u0101nu, \u0161oreiz bez L\u016b\u0161a.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Eriksonam bija iedota lieto\u0161an\u0101 automa\u0161\u012bna “Pobeda” pret\u012bg\u0101, za\u013c\u0101 kr\u0101s\u0101. Vi\u0146\u0161 l\u016bdza pavad\u012bt vi\u0146u izbraukumos pa R\u012bgas apk\u0101rtni, J\u016brmalu, Siguldu. Vi\u0146\u0161 labi zin\u0101ja, cik t\u0101lu \u0101rzemniekam at\u013cauts braukt un likumus p\u0101rk\u0101pt negrib\u0113ja ne par vienu kilometru. R\u012bg\u0101 viesoj\u0101s Zviedrijas Karalisk\u0101s operas dziedo\u0146i. Eriksonam bija ieg\u0101d\u0101tas divas bi\u013cetes lo\u017e\u0101. Taj\u0101 reiz\u0113 vi\u0146\u0161 man daudz past\u0101st\u012bja par savu biju\u0161o sievu, kura ar\u012b dziedot Karalisk\u0101 oper\u0101 Stokholm\u0101 un no vi\u0146a aizg\u0101jusi pie k\u0101da amerik\u0101\u0146u miljon\u0101ra.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Es savuk\u0101rt Eriksonam vienm\u0113r st\u0101st\u012bju par padomju briesmu darbiem. Visu, ko vien zin\u0101ju, kl\u0101ju va\u013c\u0101, lai \u0101rzemnieks uzzin, k\u0101 okupanti izr\u012bkoj\u0101s ar god\u012bgiem cilv\u0113kiem, b\u0113rniem, sirmgalvjiem. J\u0101, to vi\u0146\u0161 v\u0113l ne no viena nebija dzird\u0113jis, par fa\u0161istiem gan zin\u0101ja!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ruden\u012b Eriksonam ier\u0101d\u012bja labiek\u0101rtotu divistabu dz\u012bvokli ar lielu priek\u0161telpu Kirova (Elizabetes) iel\u0101 6, otr\u0101 st\u0101v\u0101. Vi\u0146\u0161 par dz\u012bvokli \u013coti priec\u0101j\u0101s, jo viesn\u012bc\u0101 dz\u012bvojot m\u016b\u017e\u012bgi j\u0101zaud\u0113 daudz laika, \u0113dot restor\u0101n\u0101. Nekur pasaul\u0113 tik gausi neapkalpojot k\u0101 te. Ap to pa\u0161u laiku man beidz\u0101s vasarnieces sezona Majoros. Istabi\u0146a nebija apkurin\u0101ma, t\u0101d\u0113\u013c ar steigu j\u0101p\u0101rv\u0101cas uz k\u0101du ziemas m\u012btni, par ko jau savlaic\u012bgi biju par\u016bp\u0113jusies. T\u0101du atradu Artil\u0113rijas iel\u0101, koka m\u0101j\u0101, pirmaj\u0101 st\u0101v\u0101. Saimniecei vienai divas istabas un virtuve – p\u0113c to laiku sapra\u0161anas t\u0101 skait\u012bj\u0101s liela grezn\u012bba, t\u0101d\u0113\u013c vienu istabu vi\u0146a iz\u012br\u0113ja man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Eriksons, kaut ar\u012b pieradis dz\u012bvot k\u0101 br\u012bvas pasaules cilv\u0113ks, manis d\u0113\u013c b\u016btu bijis priec\u012bgs “sa\u0161aurin\u0101ties” un uz\u0146emt mani pie sevis divistabu dz\u012bvokl\u012b, jo tad mums abiem, p\u0113c vi\u0146a dom\u0101m, neb\u016btu garlaic\u012bgi. Es t\u0101dam variantam nevar\u0113ju piekrist aiz vair\u0101kiem iemesliem. Pirmk\u0101rt, es vi\u0146\u0101 nebiju iem\u012bl\u0113jusies. Otrk\u0101rt, es tom\u0113r tik vieglpr\u0101t\u012bgi nevar\u0113ju r\u012bkoties:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

kas to var\u0113ja paredz\u0113t, cik ilgi t\u0101ds \u0101rzemnieks dr\u012bkst\u0113s Latvij\u0101 dz\u012bvot, varb\u016bt p\u0113c ned\u0113\u013cas visuvaren\u0101 \u010deka vi\u0146u padzen, varb\u016bt izsauc mani un pav\u0113l p\u0101rtraukt kontaktus ar \u0101rzemnieku, lai nekait\u0113tu valsts dro\u0161\u012bbai.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Un, tre\u0161k\u0101rt, negrib\u0113j\u0101s zaud\u0113t pa\u0161as priv\u0101to neatkar\u012bbu, iet gul\u0113t, kad pati to v\u0113los, br\u012bvo laiku izmantot sav\u0101s interes\u0113s, k\u0101 ar\u012b b\u016bt nodro\u0161in\u0101tai ar pajumti, ja gad\u012bjum\u0101 rastos k\u0101das domstarp\u012bbas vai str\u012bdi. Dz\u012bvot kop\u0101 ar sve\u0161u cilv\u0113ku – tas, manupr\u0101t, bija tikpat k\u0101 iet ar aizsiet\u0101m ac\u012bm purv\u0101 dz\u0113rvenes las\u012bt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bet notika pavisam cit\u0101di.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Teicu Eriksonam, ka p\u0101rv\u0101cos no J\u016brmalas uz R\u012bgu, vi\u0146\u0161 pied\u0101v\u0101j\u0101s pal\u012bdz\u0113t p\u0101rvest mantas ar vi\u0146am lieto\u0161an\u0101 nodoto “Pobedu”. Norun\u0101j\u0101m dienu un brauc\u0101m, pie viena pastaig\u0101j\u0101mies pa J\u016brmalas tuk\u0161aj\u0101m iel\u0101m. Salik\u0101m koferus un sai\u0146us ma\u0161\u012bn\u0101. Bija jau satumsis: Eriksons grib\u0113ja v\u0113l tums\u0101 gar j\u016bru pastaig\u0101t. Ilgi staig\u0101j\u0101m, run\u0101j\u0101mies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vi\u0146\u0161 s\u0101ka v\u0113rot zvaigznes. St\u0101v\u0113j\u0101m pa\u0161\u0101 \u016bdens mal\u0101. J\u016bra bija mier\u012bga, tikai s\u012bkie viln\u012b\u0161i \u010daloja turpat pie m\u016bsu k\u0101j\u0101m Vi\u0146\u0161 man lika paskat\u012bties uz aug\u0161u, jo r\u0101d\u012bja k\u0101du zvaigzn\u0101ju. Tikko biju pac\u0113lusi galvu pret debes\u012bm, vi\u0146a l\u016bpas piespied\u0101s man\u0113j\u0101m. Ir gan viltnieks, nodom\u0101ju, bet cit\u0101di uzvedos k\u0101 mu\u013c\u0137a sku\u0137e, jo aiz p\u0101rsteiguma nevar\u0113ju attapties, ko teikt. T\u0101 bija pirm\u0101 reize m\u0113ne\u0161a laik\u0101, kop\u0161 vi\u0146u pazinu. Diezgan romantisks sk\u016bpsts – tums\u0101, divat\u0101 pie j\u016bras, zem zvaig\u017e\u0146ot\u0101m debes\u012bm. Visu atpaka\u013cce\u013cu par to bija j\u0101dom\u0101, sarunas vairs t\u0101 neved\u0101s. Jutos t\u0101, it k\u0101 tas man b\u016btu pirmais gad\u012bjums m\u016b\u017e\u0101! S\u0101ku pr\u0101tot. Laikam visu laiku biju uzskat\u012bjusi Eriksonu par t\u0101du ofici\u0101lu personu, \u013coti nopietnu, kur\u0161 pedantiski pilda visus likumus katr\u0101 valsti, kur dienesta uzdevum\u0101 atrodas. Pirms Latvijas vi\u0146\u0161 bija str\u0101d\u0101jis Izra\u0113l\u0101. Par to laiku run\u0101jot, vi\u0146\u0161 bie\u017ei dusmoj\u0101s, visvair\u0101k neapmierin\u0101t\u012bbu uzve\u013cot Izra\u0113las ziv\u012bm, kuras tur bijis m\u016b\u017e\u012bgi j\u0101\u0113d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

L\u012bdz \u0161im es Eriksonu biju uzl\u016bkojusi ar zin\u0101mu cien\u012bbu, apm\u0113ram t\u0101, k\u0101 nabadz\u012bgais uzl\u016bko bag\u0101to, jo toreiz v\u0113l nesapratu, ka nek\u0101ds pasaules bag\u0101tnieks vi\u0146\u0161 nav, vienk\u0101r\u0161s ier\u0113dnis, lidsabiedr\u012bbas p\u0101rst\u0101vis. Ar\u012b vi\u0146a vecums mani mulsin\u0101ja jo tr\u012bsdesmit septi\u0146us gadus vecs v\u012brietis man lik\u0101s \u0161ausm\u012bgi vecs, lai gan es pati biju tikai vienpadsmit gadus jaun\u0101ka.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Otr\u0101 Eriksona vilt\u012bba ar\u012b n\u0101ca gaism\u0101. Ne jau velti vi\u0146\u0161 man par \u0161\u0137\u016btnieku pieteic\u0101s. T\u0101 vi\u0146\u0161 uzzin\u0101ja manu jauno adresi, kuru nekad neaizmirsa. Tur, protams, nek\u0101da telefona nebija, un, kad vi\u0146am sagrib\u0113j\u0101s mani satikt, atbrauca l\u012bdz Artil\u0113rijas ielai un pieklauv\u0113ja pie mana loga.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u0113c atgad\u012bjuma j\u016brmal\u0101 ilgi nen\u0101c\u0101s gaid\u012bt, kad Eriksons mani aicin\u0101ja uz “s\u0101lsmaizi” sav\u0101 apartament\u0101. Istabas pla\u0161as, augstiem griestiem, parketa gr\u012bdu, labi iek\u0101rtotas, pie logiem z\u012bda aizkari. M\u0113beles glu\u017ei jaunas. T\u0101d\u0101 kungs var dz\u012bvot. Bet viena nelaime – pa\u0161am j\u0101kurina kr\u0101sns: Tas kungam sag\u0101d\u0101ja milz\u012bgas p\u016bles. Lai gan malku sag\u0101d\u0101ja Aeroflota str\u0101dnieki, t\u0101 pati uz dz\u012bvokli nek\u0101pa un kr\u0101sn\u012bs nel\u012bda. Un man\u0101m ac\u012bm atkl\u0101j\u0101s satrieco\u0161s skats: lielaj\u0101 hall\u0113 pie kr\u0101sns durv\u012bm uz gr\u012bdas atv\u0113rts milz\u012bgs, d\u0101rgs \u0101das \u010demod\u0101ns, kur\u0101 nesta malka no pagraba. Gai\u0161\u0101 z\u012bda odere jau sasm\u0113r\u0113ta ar mitr\u0101s malkas net\u012brumiem. Teicu, ka t\u0101 tak nevar – tik d\u0101rg\u0101 \u010demod\u0101n\u0101 malku likt, k\u0101du maisu t\u0101dam nol\u016bkam j\u0101dab\u016bn. Mani padomi netika \u0146emti v\u0113r\u0101, malku turpin\u0101ja nest, k\u0101 kungam \u0113rt\u0101k. Toties mani nor\u0101d\u012bjumi, k\u0101 veikli iekurt uguni, gan noder\u0113ja, jo ar av\u012bz\u0113m vien, bez skaliem labi neveic\u0101s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Reiz Eriksona dz\u012bvokl\u012b pagatavoju gar\u0161\u012bgas pusdienas: ga\u013cas t\u012bte\u0146us ar piedev\u0101m. Ar to ar\u012b viss ies\u0101k\u0101s. Vi\u0146\u0161 nebeidza j\u016bsmot par manu pav\u0101ra m\u0101kslu l\u012bdz tai dienai, kad biju no Centr\u0101ltirga atnesusi veselu zosi, to pild\u012btu ar \u0101boliem, kr\u0101sn\u012b izcepu un priec\u012bga sagaid\u012bju Eriksonu no lidostas. Man vi\u0146\u0161 bija iedevis pa\u0161ai savas atsl\u0113gas, n\u0101cu un g\u0101ju, kad patika. Visvair\u0101k Eriksona dz\u012bvokli m\u012bl\u0113ju vannas d\u0113\u013c. Kam\u0113r vi\u0146\u0161 darb\u0101, jutos k\u0101 sav\u0101s m\u0101j\u0101s. Dien\u0101 es pati v\u0113l joproj\u0101m tirg\u016b str\u0101d\u0101ju, bet vi\u0146am divas reizes ned\u0113\u013c\u0101 lidma\u0161\u012bna no Kopenh\u0101genas pien\u0101ca v\u0113lu vakar\u0101. Tad man atveda vis\u0101dus gardumus: \u0161okol\u0101di, k\u016bkas, cepumus un liel\u0101 daudzum\u0101 pirmklas\u012bgus aug\u013cus, k\u0101dus biju tikai l\u012bdz okup\u0101cijas laikam. J\u0101, bet ar zosi izn\u0101ca pirmais konflikts. Eriksons taj\u0101 vakar\u0101 ierad\u0101s \u013coti v\u0113lu, ap pusnakti prom neg\u0101ju, jo grib\u0113j\u0101s piedz\u012bvot lielo p\u0101rsteiguma br\u012bdi virtuv\u0113 pie br\u016bni izcept\u0101s zoss s\u0101niem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u0101rsteigums, protams, bija, bet ne t\u0101ds, k\u0101du es to biju gaid\u012bjusi. Uzslavas viet\u0101 dab\u016bju r\u0101jienu. Tas skan\u0113ja apm\u0113ram t\u0101: “Tu, ko tu gan iedom\u0101jies, nest tik smagu putnu m\u0101j\u0101 Vai tu varb\u016bt aizmirsi, ka esi sieviete un ka tu nedr\u012bksti t\u0101dus smagumus nest? Ja tev to zosi vajadz\u0113ja, tad bija j\u0101pasaka man, un es ar ma\u0161\u012bnu b\u016btu to p\u0101rvedis.” St\u0101v\u0113ju, k\u0101 ar \u016bdeni aplieta. Kur t\u0101di br\u012bnumi v\u0113l dzird\u0113ti – zosij speci\u0101li ar ma\u0161\u012bnu paka\u013c braukt!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Te nu atkl\u0101j\u0101s, k\u0101 nemaz neesmu pratusi uzvesties k\u0101 civiliz\u0113ta sieviete, bet k\u0101 zemniece esmu stiepusi zosi uz m\u0101ju. \u0160it\u0101du kaunu!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Protams, k\u0101 jau var\u0113ja paredz\u0113t, zosi \u0113dot, Eriksona kunga dusmas p\u0101rg\u0101ja uz slavas dziesm\u0101m par gar\u0161\u012bgo mielastu, kuru papildin\u0101ja no lidma\u0161\u012bnas atvestais konjaks, k\u016bkas un kafija.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dabiski p\u0113c t\u0101da pamat\u012bga mielasta un ap diviem nakt\u012b kungam vairs negrib\u0113j\u0101s mani vest uz Artil\u0113rijas ielu, k\u0101 tas parasti notika, pa\u0161ai ar\u012b t\u0101ds pat\u012bkams nogurums uzn\u0101ca, un es piekritu p\u0101rgul\u0113t \u0113damistab\u0101 uz d\u012bv\u0101na. G\u0101ja dienas, ned\u0113\u013cas, \u0113damistaba sajuka ar gu\u013camistabu, m\u0101j\u0101s aizvien ret\u0101k ierados, lai kaut ko pa\u0146emtu no saviem ap\u0123\u0113rba gabaliem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tuvoj\u0101s Ziemassv\u0113tki. Eriksons pa\u0146\u0113ma divu ned\u0113\u013cu atva\u013cin\u0101jumu, lai aizbrauktu uz Zviedriju. Tur vi\u0146am k\u0101rtojami dar\u012bjumi ar advok\u0101tu. Par vi\u0146a probl\u0113m\u0101m man viss jau sen bija izst\u0101st\u012bts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tagad tuvoj\u0101s laul\u012bbas \u0161\u0137ir\u0161anas pr\u0101va, un te bez advok\u0101ta iztikt nevar\u0113ja, jo operdzied\u0101t\u0101j\u0101 piepras\u012bja no nabaga ier\u0113d\u0146a 220 000 zviedru kronu. Par t\u0101du nekaun\u012bbu Eriksons izr\u0101d\u012bja lielu sa\u0161utumu: “Vi\u0146a, kura pameta mani, kad es Izra\u0113l\u0101 p\u0101rtiku no sapuvu\u0161\u0101m ziv\u012bm, bet vi\u0146a taj\u0101 laik\u0101 ar savu \u017e\u012bdu miljon\u0101ru no Amerikas vizin\u0101j\u0101s ar luksusa jahtu pa pasauli, tagad no manis nekaunas piepras\u012bt t\u0101du summu! Es dz\u012bvoju no algas un t\u0101du summu nevar\u0113tu pat desmit gados sakr\u0101t.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Laikam jau vi\u0146am bija taisn\u012bba, bet ko es tur var\u0113ju iebilst? \u017d\u0113l man vi\u0146a bija tajos br\u012b\u017eos, kad ar \u0161\u012bm probl\u0113m\u0101m n\u0101c\u0101s saskarties. Un tas notika pa\u0161iem negribot, jo advok\u0101ts \u0161ad tad zvan\u012bja no Stokholmas tie\u0161i uz “m\u016bsu” dz\u012bvokli. Es sarunas dzird\u0113ju, jo valodu, diendien\u0101 sarun\u0101joties, biju apguvusi labi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bez t\u0101m es katru vakaru las\u012bju un \u0161\u0137irst\u012bju milz\u012bgi liel\u0101s, biez\u0101s Stokholmas av\u012bzes. M\u0101j\u0101 es to var\u0113ju dar\u012bt p\u0113c sirds patikas, bet iznest no m\u0101jas Stokholmas av\u012bzes Eriksons man aizliedza ar br\u012bdin\u0101jumu, ka p\u0101r to vi\u0146am var izcelties lielas nepatik\u0161anas. Man tas divreiz nebija j\u0101saka. Visu sapratu. Vi\u0146am j\u0101pilda instrukcijas. Bet vi\u0146\u0161 nevar\u0113ja nepaman\u012bt manu skatu, kad p\u0113t\u012bju rekl\u0101mas lapas ar skaistaj\u0101m kleit\u0101m, ve\u013cu, kurp\u0113m u.c.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u012asi pirms aizbrauk\u0161anas vi\u0146\u0161 man pajaut\u0101ja, ko es t\u0101 pa \u012bstam v\u0113l\u0113tos, lai man atved no Stokholmas. Bez garas dom\u0101\u0161anas pateicu: “Max – Factor l\u016bpu kr\u0101su un p\u016bderi:” “Un tas b\u016btu viss?” vi\u0146\u0161 br\u012bn\u012bj\u0101s. “J\u0101, tas ir viss,” atteicu, jo man bija kauns pat piemin\u0113t k\u0101das dr\u0113bes vai apavus! N\u0113, kur nu! Varon\u012bgi apspiedu visas slepen\u0101s v\u0113l\u0113\u0161an\u0101s un centos vi\u0146u neapgr\u016btin\u0101t, jo b\u016bt\u012bb\u0101 man ta\u010du nek\u0101 netr\u016bka, ap\u0123\u0113rbu bija vair\u0101k, nek\u0101 vajag. Eriksona promb\u016btnes laik\u0101 dz\u012bvoju Artil\u0113rijas iel\u0101: Vi\u0146a dz\u012bvokl\u012b apmet\u0101s cits zviedrs, kur\u0161 aizvietoja Eriksonu lidost\u0101. Ja es k\u0101dam m\u0113\u0123in\u0101tu iest\u0101st\u012bt, ka Eriksonu negaidu, tie b\u016btu salti meli. Pie labas dz\u012bves, uzman\u012bbas k\u0101du vi\u0146\u0161 man vienm\u0113r par\u0101d\u012bja, un lutin\u0101\u0161anas, t\u0101pat pie laipniem v\u0101rdiem, ar kuriem neskopoj\u0101s, pierast nav gr\u016bti. Bie\u017ei brauca uz darbu, sagaid\u012bja pie v\u0101rtiem, lai neb\u016btu j\u0101\u017e\u0146audzas nost p\u0101rpild\u012bt\u0101 trolejbus\u0101. Pats veda ve\u013cu uz mazg\u0101tavu, pats t\u012br\u012bja m\u0101ju, mazg\u0101ja traukus un j\u016bsmoja par katru \u0113dienu, kuru pagatavoju. Sv\u0113tdien\u0101s man ne\u013c\u0101va virtuv\u0113 iet, tad g\u0101j\u0101m \u0113st restor\u0101n\u0101 “Astorija”.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u0113c div\u0101m ned\u0113\u013c\u0101m vakar\u0101 dzird\u0113ju paz\u012bstamo klauv\u0113jienu pie loga. Tur vi\u0146\u0161 st\u0101v\u0113ja pie za\u013c\u0101s pobedas, smaido\u0161s, skaist\u0101s ziemas dr\u0113b\u0113s. Abi bij\u0101m piec\u012bgi par atkalredz\u0113\u0161anos. Pa\u0161apzin\u012bgs vi\u0146\u0161 atsl\u0113dza durvis. Man tr\u016bka v\u0101rdu, halle izskat\u012bj\u0101s p\u0113c pre\u010du noliktavas. “Un to visu tu ar vienu lidma\u0161\u012bnu atvedi?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Ar vienu gani.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nu br\u012bnumi rad\u0101s cits p\u0113c cita. K\u0101 tik tur nebij\u0101! Vesels koferis pa\u0161am, tad n\u0101ca katli\u0146i un pannas, vesels komplekts virtuvei, da\u017e\u0101di elektriskie grie\u017eamie, putojamie r\u012bki. Bet pats galvenais, lai var\u0113tu aizmirst par kr\u0101sn\u012bm un malku, gu\u013camistab\u0101 novietoja lielu, baltu elektrisko radiatoru, bet \u0113damistab\u0101 gl\u012btu petrolejas kr\u0101sni. Kad ierados n\u0101kamaj\u0101 dien\u0101 no darba, Eriksons neko neteica, bet, nosl\u0113pumaini smaid\u012bdams, atv\u0113ra \u0113damistabas durvis. St\u0101v\u0113ju m\u0113ma uz sliek\u0161\u0146a, jo ieiet istab\u0101 nevar\u0113ja: visa gr\u012bda k\u0101 no melna samta, sienas gandr\u012bz melnas, logu aizkari tum\u0161i pel\u0113ki, bet no griestiem kar\u0101j\u0101s melni, gari t\u012bmek\u013ci. N\u0113, kaut ko t\u0101du nebiju sav\u0101 m\u016b\u017e\u0101 redz\u0113jusi. Vai t\u0101 zviedri gatavoj\u0101s Ziemassv\u0113tkiem? Nesapra\u0161an\u0101 pal\u016bkojos uz Eriksonu, tad uz m\u0113bel\u0113m, t\u0101s tak ar\u012b melniem sodr\u0113jiem p\u0101rkl\u0101tas. Nu es sapratu: \u0161o nelaimi pa vienu diennakti bija pastr\u0101d\u0101jusi jaun\u0101 petrolejas kr\u0101sni\u0146a.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ieteicu neko neaiztikt, bet uzman\u012bgi soli pa sol\u012btim ar putek\u013cu s\u016bc\u0113ju uzs\u016bkt sodr\u0113jus un kv\u0113pus. Str\u0101d\u0101j\u0101m uz mai\u0146\u0101m, un rezult\u0101t\u0101 dab\u016bj\u0101m sam\u0113r\u0101 t\u012bru telpu. N\u0101kamaj\u0101 dien\u0101 atvestie lidostas str\u0101dnieki not\u012br\u012bja sienas un griestus. Vakar\u0101 p\u0101rved\u0101m egl\u012bti. Zem egl\u012btes sag\u016bl\u0101s d\u0101vanu sai\u0146i. Es savam draugam uzd\u0101vin\u0101ju krist\u0101la pelnu trauku, bet man bija tik daudz d\u0101vanu, cik nekad sav\u0101 m\u016b\u017e\u0101 nevienos sv\u0113tkos netiku sa\u0146\u0113musi. Tur bija viss, par ko vien sieviete var sap\u0146ot!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Uz Jaun\u0101 gada sagaid\u012b\u0161anu mani kop\u0101 ar Eriksonu pie sevis aicin\u0101ja mana darba kol\u0113\u0123e, kura dz\u012bvoja paliel\u0101 dz\u012bvokl\u012b Kr. Barona iel\u0101, gan \u013coti vec\u0101 koka m\u0101j\u0101. Daudzo viesu vid\u016b tur nesen no Kolimas atbr\u012bvotais m\u0101kslinieks Gun\u0101rs Hermanovskis ar kundzi Valiju. Gun\u0101ra iedzelteni b\u0101l\u0101 seja stipri kontrast\u0113ja ar melnajiem iesirmiem matiem un tum\u0161aj\u0101m ac\u012bm. \u013boti skaists vi\u0146\u0161 taj\u0101 vakar\u0101 izskat\u012bj\u0101s. Bet mazrun\u012bgs, attur\u012bgi atbild\u0113ja tikai uz jaut\u0101jumiem. Nu man bija pamat\u012bga viela, ko Eriksonam st\u0101st\u012bt, lai nu pats redz, k\u0101dus cilv\u0113kus okupanti uz Sib\u012brijas cietumiem s\u016bt\u012bju\u0161i un v\u0113l uz desmit gadiem. Lai ar\u012b k\u0101, visi priec\u0101j\u0101s gan par Gun\u0101ra atgrie\u0161anos, gan pa\u0161i par sevi un par labo ska\u0146upla\u0161u m\u016bziku, pie kuras visi, atskaitot Gun\u0101ru, dejoj\u0101m. 1957. gads pien\u0101ca visai jautr\u0101 noska\u0146ojum\u0101. M\u0113s visi dom\u0101j\u0101m un tic\u0113j\u0101m, ka lab\u0101ki laiki pien\u0101ku\u0161i un cilv\u0113kam vairs nav j\u0101b\u012bstas pa\u0161am no savas \u0113nas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bet \u0113nas nekur nepazuda.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

V\u0113s\u0101 janv\u0101ra r\u012bt\u0101, ejot uz trolejbusa pieturu, gandr\u012bz kr\u016bt\u012bs saskr\u0113jos ar D\u017eonu Vesmani. Tas bez k\u0101da ievada saka: “Labr\u012bt! Redzi nu, m\u0113s esam kaimi\u0146i, k\u0101 kl\u0101jas Eriksona kungam?” Patie\u0161\u0101m, starp Vesma\u0146a un Eriksona m\u0101j\u0101m tikai divas m\u0101jas vid\u016b. Mani p\u0101rsteidza, k\u0101 Vesmanis var zin\u0101t, no kurienes es n\u0101ku, t\u0101d\u0113\u013c klus\u0113ju, tikai iesaucos: “Man j\u0101steidzas!” – un s\u0101ku skriet. Dien\u0101 par to vien dom\u0101ju un br\u012bn\u012bjos, k\u0101 citi visu zina par mani, bet es par citiem neko. Tad aptv\u0113ru: ja Vesmanis str\u0101d\u0101 Int\u016brist\u0101, tad zina, kas ir Eriksons, un, ja Int\u016brists ir \u010dekas fili\u0101le, tad zina ar\u012b p\u0101r\u0113jo. Nu bija skaidrs, ka par Eriksonu un mani ir run\u0101ju\u0161i. Kas un kur, to man tik un t\u0101 neviens neteiks. Pagaid\u0101m liek mier\u0101. Dro\u0161i vien tie, kas nosaka m\u016bsu likte\u0146us un to, k\u0101 mums dz\u012bvot, ar ko dz\u012bvot, ir nospriedu\u0161i, ka lab\u0101k, ja Eriksonam ir viena zin\u0101ma draudzene nek\u0101 vair\u0101kas nezin\u0101mas. Ja es ar Eriksonu nebiju re\u0123istr\u0113ta dzimtsarakstu biroj\u0101, tad \u010dek\u0101 gan. Un nav nemaz izsl\u0113gts ka to \u010deka, uzklausot Vesma\u0146a padomu, bija pl\u0101nojusi no pa\u0161a s\u0101kuma un Valent\u012bns L\u016bsis, izpildot \u010dekas uzdevumu, m\u016bs iepaz\u012bstin\u0101ja. Ne jau katram vijolniekam \u013c\u0101va str\u0101d\u0101t lidost\u0101. Visp\u0101r m\u0113s ar Eriksonu bij\u0101m l\u012bdz\u012bg\u0101s situ\u0101cij\u0101s:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vi\u0146am \u0161\u0137ir\u0161an\u0101s process draud\u0113ja ieilgt sakar\u0101 ar piepras\u012bto naudas summu, bet es tad v\u0113l nebiju pacentusies laul\u012bbas \u0161\u0137ir\u0161anu piepras\u012bt. T\u0101 m\u0113s, divi pus\u0161\u0137irti cilv\u0113ki, tur\u0113j\u0101mies kop\u0101 bez jebk\u0101d\u0101m pretenzij\u0101m vienam pret otru.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Eriksona darba l\u012bgums beidz\u0101s p\u0113c diviem gadiem, m\u0113s bij\u0101m paz\u012bstami gadu un tr\u012bs m\u0113ne\u0161us. No padomju okup\u0113t\u0101s Latvijas Eriksons \u0161\u0137\u012br\u0101s ar prieku, bet no manis ar \u017e\u0113lumu sird\u012b, ka man t\u0101d\u0101 nebr\u012bv\u0101 zem\u0113 j\u0101paliek. “Ja es tevi var\u0113tu aizvest \u010demod\u0101n\u0101, nudien, neatst\u0101tu te, tu esi peln\u012bjusi dz\u012bvot lab\u0101kos apst\u0101k\u013cos, br\u012bv\u0101 zem\u0113.” Tie bija vi\u0146a p\u0113d\u0113jie v\u0101rdi. Vi\u0146\u0161 grib\u0113ja ar\u012b man atst\u0101t visas mantas, kas no Stokholmas bija atvestas, taj\u0101 skait\u0101 lielu, skaistu radioapar\u0101tu, bet es no visa t\u0101 neko nepa\u0146\u0113mu. Nebija jau ar\u012b kur likt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JUMTS VIRS GALVAS<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

No Artil\u0113rijas ielas es dr\u012bz vien aizg\u0101ju, jo saimniece uztraukta st\u0101st\u012bja, ka par mani s\u0101ku\u0161i interes\u0113ties, un man pa\u0161ai bija j\u0101protas. Atradu Pal\u012bdz\u012bbas iel\u0101 caurstaig\u0101jam\u0101 istab\u0101 gultasvietu. Tur dz\u012bvoja vientu\u013ca sieviete – kupr\u012bte ar gar\u012bgi slimu d\u0113lu. Virtuv\u0113 ieiet nevar\u0113ja, jo tur m\u0113ne\u0161iem kr\u0101tie atkritumi un nemazg\u0101tie trauki izplat\u012bja necie\u0161amu smaku: \u0112du \u0101rpus m\u0101jas. Slim\u0101 d\u0113la ska\u013c\u0101 uzved\u012bba nom\u0101ca un boj\u0101ja nervus, bet visvair\u0101k uztrauca gad\u012bjums, kad, p\u0113k\u0161\u0146i p\u0101rn\u0101kusi no darba, pagalm\u0101 satiku saimnieci ar manu goda ap\u0123\u0113rbu mugur\u0101. Vi\u0146a nesa no pagraba malku. Steidz\u012bgi mekl\u0113ju citu dz\u012bves vietu. Man pal\u012bdz\u0113ja Valija Hermanovska. Vi\u0146a pazina divas m\u0101sas, no kur\u0101m viena laba \u0161uv\u0113ja, bet otra – friziere. Dz\u012bvoklis Jauniel\u0101 14, tie\u0161i pie Doma bazn\u012bcas, sast\u0101v\u0113ja no div\u0101m istab\u0101m un div\u0101m priek\u0161telp\u0101m. Pirm\u0101 priek\u0161telpa – \u0161aura, maza, ar ieeju uz virtuvi dz\u012bvo\u0161anai neder\u0113ja, bet otr\u0101 bija t\u0101da paliela un t\u012bri laba. Protams, dienu un nakti visi staig\u0101ja cauri, bet labaj\u0101 atrad\u0101s paliela ni\u0161a, un, ja tai aizvelk biezus aizkarus, izn\u0101k atsevi\u0161\u0137a r\u016bm\u012bte. Visu apskat\u012bjusi, vienojos ar saimniec\u0113m par \u012bres maksu. Jutos t\u012bri apmierin\u0101ta, jo man abas m\u0101sas patika no pirm\u0101s tik\u0161an\u0101s reizes. Vispirms es telpu izkr\u0101soju gai\u0161\u0101, pat\u012bkam\u0101 ton\u012b. Ieg\u0101d\u0101jos biezu m\u0113be\u013cdr\u0113bi, no kuras izn\u0101ca labs priek\u0161kars. Nopirku tahtu, kura ietilpa tie\u0161i ni\u0161as garum\u0101, v\u0113l atlika vieta radiogaldi\u0146am, bet galdu ar diviem kr\u0113sliem var\u0113ju novietot caurstaig\u0101jam\u0101 pus\u0113. Ni\u0161\u0101 v\u0113l var\u0113ja izmantot ap metru plato palodzi, p\u0101r\u0113jai mant\u012bbai pieliku plauktus. T\u0101 nu san\u0101ca, ka \u010detri kvadr\u0101tmetri, atdal\u012bti ar aizkaru, mani pat iepriecin\u0101ja. Tom\u0113r jumts virs galvas. Un kur v\u0113l nesamaks\u0101jam\u0101 saj\u016bsma dz\u012bvot Vecr\u012bg\u0101! Ja k\u0101ds Doma bazn\u012bc\u0101 piesk\u0101r\u0101s \u0113r\u0123el\u0113m, man\u0101 ni\u0161\u0101 viss dzirdams, \u017e\u0113l, ka toreiz v\u0113l koncerti nenotika. No \u0113r\u0123el\u0113m bazn\u012bc\u0101 l\u012bdz jumta logam tikai da\u017ei metri. K\u0101da varena klaus\u012b\u0161an\u0101s tiem, kas tur tagad dz\u012bvo!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jauniel\u0101 par garlaic\u012bbu nevar\u0113ja s\u016bdz\u0113ties, jo saimniecei d\u0113ls ar\u012b turpat dz\u012bvoja, pie vi\u0146a n\u0101ca draugi. Toreiz visus aizr\u0101va popul\u0101r\u0101 “Radio Luksemburg” m\u016bzika. Pirk\u0101m magnetofonus ar milz\u012bgaj\u0101m ska\u0146u ierakstu spol\u0113m un tais\u012bj\u0101m ierakstus l\u012bdz v\u0113lai naktij. Cit\u0101 reiz\u0113 klaus\u012bj\u0101mies, kam lab\u0101kie ieraksti. M\u0101jai biezas sienas, neviens nes\u016bdz\u0113j\u0101s. Bet, kad es par d\u0101rgu naudu ieg\u0101d\u0101jos pirm\u0101s Rock and Roll plates, dz\u012bve lik\u0101s br\u012bni\u0161\u0137\u012bga. Pie rokm\u016bzikas aizmirs\u0101s visas r\u016bpes un raizes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Neatceros, kur\u0101 av\u012bz\u0113 izlas\u012bju, ka R\u012bgas radio mekl\u0113 zviedru valodas tulkot\u0101ju. K\u0101d\u0113\u013c neaiziet un nepainteres\u0113ties, k\u0101d\u0101 l\u012bmen\u012b j\u0101tulko. Piezvan\u012bju. Man iedeva caurlaidi. Radio es iepazinos ar Nikolaju Neilandu. Noskaidroj\u0101s, ka j\u0101tulko teksti no krievu av\u012bz\u0113m zviedriski bez sevi\u0161\u0137\u0101m gramatikas un pareizrakst\u012bbas pras\u012bb\u0101m, jo t\u0101s labos Hildings no Zviedrijas un nesen no Zviedrijas atgriezusies Aldona Tepfere. No latvie\u0161u av\u012bz\u0113m Aldona pati var\u0113ja p\u0101rtulkot, bet no krievu ne, jo krievu valodu vi\u0146a toreiz nemaz neprata. P\u0113c Eriksona aizbrauk\u0161anas ar labiem pan\u0101kumiem apg\u016bt\u0101 zviedru valoda draud\u0113ja aizmirsties. Es gan antikvari\u0101t\u0101 izpirku visas gr\u0101matas zviedru valod\u0101. Maz vi\u0146u tur bija.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Es, naiv\u0101, biju iedom\u0101jusies, ka par tulko\u0161anu radio labi maks\u0101s. Kad par divu garu \u016bdensgabalu p\u0101rtulko\u0161anu sa\u0146\u0113mu 37 rub\u013cus, jutos v\u012blusies. Bez tam tulkojot \u0161ausm\u012bgo melu propagandu, man asinis s\u0101ka aiz dusm\u0101m v\u0101r\u012bties. Nevar\u0113ju saprast, kas un vai visp\u0101r k\u0101ds to Zviedrij\u0101 klaus\u0101s. V\u0113l da\u017eas av\u012bzes p\u0101rnesu m\u0101j\u0101s, iztulkoju un aiznesu, tad s\u0101ku p\u0101rdom\u0101t, vai mana r\u012bc\u012bba saskan ar maniem principiem. N\u0113 un n\u0113. T\u0101 varb\u016bt bija godk\u0101re, kas m\u0101ni noveda l\u012bdz R\u012bgas radio. Dom\u0101ju: radio tulkot\u0101ja – labi skan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nek\u0101d\u0101 zi\u0146\u0101 nev\u0113l\u0113jos k\u013c\u016bt par l\u012bdzdal\u012bbnieci net\u012br\u0101s padomju propagandas izplat\u012b\u0161an\u0101 aiz robe\u017e\u0101m. Kauns atcer\u0113ties, ko biju pasp\u0113jusi p\u0101rtulkot un ar savu roku zviedriski uzrakst\u012bt. Jutos k\u0101 nodev\u0113ja pret savu apspiesto tautu. Centos \u0161o k\u013c\u016bm\u012bgo soli p\u0113c iesp\u0113jas \u0101tr\u0101k aizmirst.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pavisam kas cits – kaut ko labu, interesantu p\u0101rtulkot no zviedru uz latvie\u0161u valodu, piem\u0113ram, k\u0101 to bija dar\u012bjusi Elija Kliene. Aizg\u0101ju pie Elijas Klienes. Iepazin\u0101mies. \u013boti pat\u012bkama d\u0101ma. Vi\u0146a labpr\u0101t man aizdeva gr\u0101matas zviedru valod\u0101 las\u012b\u0161anai. Noskaidroju, ka nek\u0101da literat\u016bra tulko\u0161anai no zviedru valodas Latvijas valsts izdevniec\u012bbai nav vajadz\u012bga. Izlas\u012bjusi vienu no antikvari\u0101t\u0101 pirktaj\u0101m gr\u0101mat\u0101m, nol\u0113mu, ka to gan b\u016btu v\u0113rts tulkot, jo gr\u0101matas saturs man ilgi neizg\u0101ja no pr\u0101ta. Tur aprakst\u012bt\u0101 dramatisk\u0101 dz\u012bve, brie\u017eu audz\u0113t\u0101ju c\u012b\u0146a ar sniega lav\u012bn\u0101m un vi\u0146u milz\u012bg\u0101 iztur\u012bba lik\u0101s piem\u0113rota las\u0101mviela, jauniem cilv\u0113kiem. Nol\u0113mu pied\u0101v\u0101t gr\u0101matu Latvijas valsts izdevniec\u012bbai. Run\u0101ju ar Bruno Saul\u012bti. Vi\u0146a atbilde skan\u0113ja t\u0101: “Mums j\u0101izdod viena somu autora gr\u0101mata, ja j\u016bs varat tik \u0101tri iem\u0101c\u012bties valodas, tad izm\u0101cieties somu valodu, p\u0113c gada atn\u0101ciet, un m\u0113s jums dosim tulkot. “\u0160odien man b\u016btu, ko vi\u0146am atbild\u0113t, toreiz nebija. Vien\u012bgi \u017eurn\u0101ls “Zvaigzne” no manis pie\u0146\u0113ma un ievietoja da\u017eus \u012bsus gabali\u0146us, neparastus notikumus dz\u012bvnieku pasaul\u0113. Par to man bija \u012bsts prieks aiziet uz Pils ielu un sa\u0146emt honor\u0101ru. Jauniel\u0101 dz\u012bvojot, jutos labi. Saimniece man \u0161uva skaist\u0101s kleitas, par darbu labi samaks\u0101ju. Man atlika uzz\u012bm\u0113t, k\u0101du v\u0113los atnest komisijas veikalos samekl\u0113tu audumu, un kleitas izn\u0101ca k\u0101 no modes \u017eurn\u0101la. Vien\u012bgi taj\u0101s reiz\u0113s, kad san\u0101ca p\u0101r\u0101k daudz ciemi\u0146u, es aiz sava aizkara jutos k\u0101 \u0161osejas mal\u0101: s\u0113di un v\u0113ro satiksmi. Paretam atgad\u012bj\u0101s ar\u012b t\u0101, ka da\u017es viesis (tie parasti bija R\u012bgas Ekspre\u0161a kr\u0101v\u0113ji), sajaucis \u017evingul\u012b virzienu, iekl\u012bda man\u0101 ni\u0161\u0101. T\u0101d\u0101s reiz\u0113s mekl\u0113ju pal\u012bdz\u012bbu saimnie\u010du gal\u0101 un bez lieka trok\u0161\u0146a nokl\u012bdu\u0161o dab\u016bj\u0101m pie vietas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cit\u0101 reiz\u0113 k\u0101d\u0101m ien\u0101ca pr\u0101t\u0101 ar mani sadzert: No t\u0101da veida laipn\u012bb\u0101m atbr\u012bvoties nen\u0101c\u0101s viegli. Tad devos no m\u0101jas prom, it k\u0101 steidzam\u0101s dar\u012b\u0161an\u0101s. Ko citu var\u0113ju dar\u012bt, pajumtes d\u0113\u013c da\u017eas ne\u0113rt\u012bbas j\u0101pacie\u0161. Atgad\u012bj\u0101s ar\u012b t\u0101, ka nakts vid\u016b man\u0101 gult\u0101 k\u0101ds ar joni iev\u0113l\u0101s, bet bie\u017e\u0101k n\u0101c\u0101s vair\u0101k smieties nek\u0101 dusmoties. Reiz pati saimniece nevar\u0113ja nok\u013c\u016bt l\u012bdz sav\u0101m durv\u012bm un, l\u012bdzsvaru zaud\u0113jusi, ar visu aizkaru uzkrita man virs\u016b:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Darb\u0101 diezgan bie\u017ei pie manis piestaig\u0101ja \u0145ina – t\u0101 pati, kura Vi\u013c\u0146\u0101 ar zviedru apprec\u0113j\u0101s. M\u016b\u017e\u012bgi vi\u0146ai bija kas p\u0101rdodams, s\u0101kot ar v\u012brie\u0161u ap\u0123\u0113rbu, beidzot ar amerik\u0101\u0146u cigaret\u0113m. P\u0113d\u0113j\u0101s es no \u0145inas pirku. K\u0101dreiz vi\u0146a mani aicin\u0101ja pie sevis m\u0101j\u0101s, lai izv\u0113loties sev k\u0101du bl\u016bzi. Tas bija interesanti, k\u0101 \u0145ina dz\u012bvoja. Ja man k\u0101ds to b\u016btu st\u0101st\u012bjis, nem\u016b\u017eam netic\u0113tu. Pirmk\u0101rt, vi\u0146a dz\u012bvoja Asp\u0101zijas bulv\u0101ri, nevis kaut kur Sarkandaugav\u0101 vai Maskavas priek\u0161pils\u0113t\u0101: Nams atrad\u0101s tie\u0161i vid\u016b starp Aud\u0113ju ielu un R\u012bgas viesn\u012bcu, iepret\u012b operas aktieru ieejai. Liels, skaists dz\u012bvoklis otraj\u0101 st\u0101v\u0101. Visas m\u0113beles ac\u012bmredzot dz\u012bvokl\u012b jau atr\u0101d\u0101s pirms kara: sarkankoka \u0113damistaba, Kar\u0113ljas b\u0113rza gu\u013camistaba. Visur skaidri saredzama bag\u0101ta latvie\u0161a gaume. Jutu, ka manas asinis uzsit dev\u012bto vilni, jo \u0161eit mantas un sienas run\u0101ja skaidru valodu. Un man nevi\u013cus n\u0101ca pr\u0101t\u0101, k\u0101d\u0101 Sib\u012brijas s\u0101d\u017e\u0101 v\u0113l dz\u012bvi vai jau miru\u0161i ir \u0161o mantu \u012bpa\u0161nieki. Klusi, jau b\u016bdama \u0145inas istab\u0101, es pajaut\u0101ju: “Kas ir tavs t\u0113vs?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Pulkvedis, bet m\u0113s ar t\u0113vu esam politiskie ienaidnieki.” T\u0101 laikam vien\u012bg\u0101 reize, kad \u0145ina nemeloja. Nebija gr\u016bti iedom\u0101ties \u0123imenes attiec\u012bbas, ja krievu pulkve\u017ea meita dauz\u0101s apk\u0101rt ar \u0101rzemju j\u016brniekiem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0145ina mani iepaz\u012bstin\u0101ja ar k\u0101du citu krievieti – pavisam jaunu meiteni, Eleonoru, kura man pielipa k\u0101 dadzis no pirm\u0101s dienas. Eleonoras t\u0113vs str\u0101d\u0101ja Iek\u0161lietu ministrij\u0101. Vi\u0146a \u0123imenei ier\u0101d\u012bts liels dz\u012bvoklis skaist\u0101 m\u0101j\u0101 Vilandes iel\u0101, vien\u012bgi m\u0113beles tur k\u0101ds jau agr\u0101k pasp\u0113jis izlaup\u012bt un \u0123imenes r\u012bc\u012bb\u0101 atst\u0101ti tikai no\u017e\u0113lojami kr\u0101mi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0145ina man par\u0101d\u012bja v\u0113l vienas krievietes, \u0101rzemju j\u016brnieku m\u012bl\u0113t\u0101jas, dz\u012bvokli, tie\u0161i blakus kafejn\u012bcai “Luna”. \u0160o t\u0101pat k\u0101 \u0145inas dz\u012bvokli, greznoja mas\u012bvas, d\u0101rgas aizvesto latvie\u0161u m\u0113beles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Viss redz\u0113tais uzvedin\u0101ja mani uz gar\u0101m, dr\u016bm\u0101m p\u0101rdom\u0101m. Var p\u0113t\u012bt Latvijas v\u0113sturi, cik grib, neviens latvietis nav R\u012bg\u0101 ieradies k\u0101 bag\u0101tnieks. Viss sasniegts ar milz\u012bgu cent\u012bbu, neatlaid\u012bgu, smagu darbu un taup\u012bbu. B\u016btu interesanti uzzin\u0101t to latvie\u0161u v\u0101rdus, kuriem pieder\u0113ja gultas, kur\u0101s krievi gu\u013c, galdi, pie kuriem krievi \u0113d un dzer. Bet visa pasaule par to klus\u0113, neviens pat dzird\u0113t negrib par to, k\u0101 okupanti izr\u012bkoj\u0101s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Veseli vilcienu sast\u0101vi tika piekrauti ar latvie\u0161iem nolaup\u012bto mantu. P\u0113rses iel\u0101 – kur tagad kino Palladium kases, str\u0101d\u0101ja v\u012bri, kuriem lab\u0101k\u0101s m\u0113beles, veselas iek\u0101rtas, simtiem klavieru vajadz\u0113ja iesai\u0146ot, lai p\u0113c tam v\u0113stu uz R\u012bgas pre\u010du staciju, kur savuk\u0101rt visu sal\u0101d\u0113ja vagonos. No 1945. l\u012bdz 1949. gadam krievi un gruz\u012bni veda prom visu, ko vien var\u0113ja. Es labi pazinu toreiz jau vecu v\u012bru – Gustavu Borovski, caur kura rok\u0101m izg\u0101ja t\u016bksto\u0161iem dokumentu R\u012bgas pre\u010du stacij\u0101 ar adres\u0113m uz Austrumiem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pasaul\u0113 daudz rakst\u012bts un run\u0101ts par vergu dz\u012bvi. Visi vergi n\u0101ca no nabadz\u012bgiem tautu sl\u0101\u0146iem. Pie mums pret\u0113ji – par vergiem padar\u012bja visu Latvijas inteli\u0123enci un tur\u012bg\u0101kos uz\u0146\u0113m\u0113jus, bet par to pasaule klus\u0113, Tad es nedom\u0101ju klus\u0113t un to ar\u012b nedar\u012bju.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

V\u0112STULES<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Saj\u016btu neatvair\u0101mu v\u0113l\u0113\u0161anos visu redz\u0113to, piedz\u012bvoto pierakst\u012bt, vismaz rakst\u012bt dienasgr\u0101matu. Tom\u0113r, visu apsverot, n\u0101cu pie sl\u0113dziena, ka v\u0113l nav tie laiki, kad var\u0113tu pap\u012bram visu uztic\u0113t: Kaut ar\u012b Sta\u013cina teroru vairs nejuta, bet zin\u0101ma piesardz\u012bba par \u013caunu nen\u0101k, lai ar\u012b taj\u0101 br\u012bd\u012b it k\u0101 nebija pamata no kaut k\u0101 \u012bpa\u0161i baid\u012bties. Lik\u0101s, ka par maniem g\u0101jieniem neviens neko nezina. Vismaz par Eriksona dz\u012bvokli neviens nebija \u012bpa\u0161i interes\u0113jies. Atcer\u0113jos, ka s\u0101kum\u0101, pirms atv\u0113ru m\u0101jas durvis, vienm\u0113r p\u0101rbaud\u012bju, vai k\u0101ds ieeju nenov\u0113ro. Tagad tas \u0161\u0137ita smiekl\u012bgi, jo, kam vajadz\u0113ja zin\u0101t, tas tak visu tik un t\u0101 zin\u0101ja.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cit\u0101di mani b\u016btu sen jau izsauku\u0161i uz kafiju.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bet tad, pavisam negaidot, mani apciemoja Eleonora, ar kuru \u0145ina mani bija iepaz\u012bstin\u0101jusi. Vi\u0146a man gari un pla\u0161i st\u0101st\u012bja par saviem jaukajiem piedz\u012bvojumiem Vispasaules jaunie\u0161u festiv\u0101l\u0101 Maskav\u0101. Es savuk\u0101rt pateicu, ka esmu nupat no Maskavas atgriezusies, jo festiv\u0101la laik\u0101 tik daudzu cilv\u0113ku burzm\u0101 laikam neb\u016btu var\u0113jusi redz\u0113t visu, ko v\u0113l\u0113jos.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Teicu, ka mans m\u0113r\u0137is bija redz\u0113t Tretjakova galeriju, muzejus un izst\u0101des. Vai es esot ar\u012b k\u0101dus \u0101rzemniekus satikusi? Protams, ka redz\u0113ju vair\u0101kus \u0101rzemju autobusus, pilnus ar dz\u012bvespriec\u012bgiem \u0101rzemniekiem. Vai tad es neesot ar k\u0101diem iepazinusies? Nu j\u0101, \u0161ur tur epizodiski, un, lai vair\u0101k uz jaut\u0101jumiem neb\u016btu j\u0101atbild, past\u0101st\u012bju par gad\u012bjumu ar Braz\u012blijas radio un telev\u012bzijas direktoru Alberto Karm\u0113 un par jauko koncertu. Pie viena piemin\u0113ju par abiem instit\u016btiem, kuros biju ieg\u0101jusi painteres\u0113ties par uz\u0146em\u0161anas noteikumiem. Eleonora \u0161\u0137ita ar manu st\u0101stu apmierin\u0101ta un pie viena pateica sava n\u0101ciena iemeslu. Vi\u0146a \u013coti gribot, lai es vi\u0146ai iem\u0101cot v\u0101cu un ang\u013cu valodu. Teicu, ka divas valodas vienlaic\u012bgi es vi\u0146ai iem\u0101c\u012bt nevar\u0113\u0161u, lai izv\u0113las vienu. Vi\u0146a izv\u0113l\u0113j\u0101s ang\u013cu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Tad nop\u0113rc burtn\u012bcu, saraksti vien\u0101 mal\u0101 v\u0101rdus, kurus gribi, zin\u0101t angliski, un es tev tos uzrakst\u012b\u0161u, ar\u012b fon\u0113tisko izrunu otr\u0101 mal\u0101, jo, saproti pati, ka nevaru stund\u0101m m\u0101c\u012bt tevi t\u0101 k\u0101 skol\u0101. Vi\u0146a man pateic\u0101s un aizg\u0101ja. P\u0113c p\u0101ris dien\u0101m bija kl\u0101t. P\u0113c uzrakst\u012btiem v\u0101rdiem uzreiz var\u0113ju konstat\u0113t, k\u0101d\u0101m nol\u016bkam valoda vajadz\u012bga.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Septembra s\u0101kum\u0101 sa\u0146\u0113mu sav\u0101 m\u016b\u017e\u0101 pirmo v\u0113stuli no \u0101rzem\u0113m. To rakst\u012bja fran\u010du advok\u0101ts J. Faleti. Kl\u0101t bija pievienota fotogr\u0101fija, kur\u0101 es st\u0101vu kop\u0101 ar Jevge\u0146iju Jakunovski pie \u013be\u0146ina pieminek\u013ca R\u012bg\u0101. Vietu fotograf\u0113\u0161anai bija izv\u0113l\u0113jies Jakunovskis. Da\u017eas dienas v\u0113l\u0101k sa\u0146\u0113mu v\u0113stuli no Velsas. T.G.G.Herberts bija uzrakst\u012bjis \u013coti garu un jauku v\u0113stuli.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

V\u0113l liel\u0101ku prieku man sag\u0101d\u0101ja skaista skatu karti\u0146a. K\u0101 mazs b\u0113rns priec\u0101jos par raibiem pap\u012br\u012b\u0161iem. Uz v\u0113stul\u0113m pasteidzos k\u0101rt\u012bgi atbild\u0113t. Visgr\u016bt\u0101k g\u0101ja ar rakst\u012b\u0161anu fran\u010du advok\u0101tam, bet laim\u012bg\u0101 k\u0101rt\u0101 antikvari\u0101t\u0101 atrad\u0101s \u013coti paroc\u012bga Langen\u0161eida sarunu gr\u0101mati\u0146a ar gataviem teikumiem, tulkojumi no v\u0101cu valodas uz fran\u010du. Stund\u0101m mekl\u0113jot, atradu piem\u0113rotus teikumus. Daudzi v\u0101rdi palika atmi\u0146\u0101 uz m\u016b\u017e\u012bgiem laikiem. Par to var\u0113ju tikai priec\u0101ties. pie viena ieg\u0101d\u0101jos ang\u013cu gramatikas gr\u0101matu un da\u017eas zviedru las\u0101m gr\u0101matas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ar milz\u012bgu cent\u012bbu un aizraut\u012bbu daudz iem\u0101c\u012bjos. Visu rudeni \u0146\u0113mos ar m\u0101c\u012b\u0161anos, bet, nevar\u0113dama nos\u0113d\u0113t tikai pie gr\u0101mat\u0101m, saulain\u0101s izejam\u0101s dien\u0101s izbraucu br\u012bv\u0101 dab\u0101 pagleznot. Pirmie darbi mani neapmierin\u0101ja, bet tad gad\u012bj\u0101s viena apmierino\u0161a jumta studija, kuru biju gleznojusi no sava jumta, turpat izk\u0101pjot pa logu. Pabeigusi gleznot, kr\u0101su paleti noliku uz vien\u012bg\u0101 kr\u0113sla, kam\u0113r studiju novietoju pie sienas. Taj\u0101 br\u012bdi atskan\u0113ja zvans pie durv\u012bm. Priec\u012bga pie manis iesteidz\u0101s Eleonora un, pirms es pasp\u0113ju vi\u0146u br\u012bdin\u0101t, aps\u0113d\u0101s uz paletes. Vi\u0146ai taj\u0101 dien\u0101 bija glu\u017ei jauna, balta kleita mugur\u0101. Jutos \u0161ausm\u012bgi satriekta, redzot jauno kleitu, kad vi\u0146a piec\u0113l\u0101s. Vispirms ar nazi kr\u0101su nokas\u012bju. Tad t\u012br\u012bju ar terpent\u012bnu un visp\u0113d\u012bgi ar ziep\u0113m un siltu \u016bdeni, kam\u0113r traipi k\u013cuva tikko saman\u0101mi. Tas tik bija darbs! Tikai tad, kad kleita atguva pie\u0146emamu izskatu, Eleonora s\u0101ka st\u0101st\u012bt. Vi\u0146a bijusi atkal Maskav\u0101. Atkl\u0101ti sakot, s\u0101kum\u0101 klaus\u012bjos visai pavir\u0161i, bet tad Eleonora pateica, ka, ejot pa ielu ar diviem somiem un somieti, viesn\u012bcas “Ukraina” tuvum\u0101 vi\u0146u aptur\u0113jis milicis. Nu s\u0101ku klaus\u012bties uzman\u012bg\u0101k. Milicis Eleonoru aizvedis uz milicijas iecirkni un pras\u012bjis uzr\u0101d\u012bt dokumentus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Ah\u0101! No R\u012bgas,” vi\u0146\u0161 iesaucies un tad, starp citu, pateicis, ka vasar\u0101 viesn\u012bc\u0101 “Ukraina” dz\u012bvojusi k\u0101da sieviete ar\u012b no R\u012bgas, bet vi\u0146i jauno sievieti notur\u0113ju\u0161i par \u0101rzemnieci, jo t\u0101 no galvas l\u012bdz k\u0101j\u0101m bijusi \u0123\u0113rbusies import\u0101 un br\u012bvi sarun\u0101jusies ar citiem \u0101rzemniekiem. Kad ap\u0137\u0113ru\u0161ies, bijis jau par v\u0113lu – “\u0101rzemniece” aizbraukusi. Lai savu k\u013c\u016bdu izlabotu, vi\u0146i devu\u0161i zi\u0146u uz R\u012bgu, lai tur lidost\u0101 \u0161o sagaidot, k\u0101 pien\u0101kas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ak t\u0101 gan, nodom\u0101ju, jo sapratu, ka no Maskavas milicijas nagiem izsl\u012bd\u0113jus\u012b “\u0101rzemniece” var\u0113ju b\u016bt tikai es, un nopriec\u0101jos par to, ka R\u012bgas lidost\u0101 “sagaid\u012bt\u0101ji” mani neatrada, bet \u013be\u0146ingrad\u0101 neviens neiedom\u0101j\u0101s mekl\u0113t. Protams, Eleonorai neko neteicu, izlikos vienaldz\u012bga un painteres\u0113jos, k\u0101 tas viss beidzies. “Nu, es liku piezvan\u012bt t\u0113va draugam, un tas deva r\u012bkojumu mani atbr\u012bvot.” “Nu redzi, cik labi, ka ir iespaid\u012bgi draugi,” es attur\u012bgi piez\u012bm\u0113ju, bet man no visa dzird\u0113t\u0101 k\u013cuva diezgan neomul\u012bgi ap sirdi. Labi, ka mana avant\u016bra beigusies laim\u012bgi!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pien\u0101ca ziema. Uz ielas atkal nejau\u0161i satiku D\u017eoni Vesmani. Vi\u0146\u0161 izr\u0101d\u012bja neviltotu prieku un past\u0101st\u012bja, ka vi\u0146am p\u0113c trim dien\u0101m j\u0101brauc uz Ventspili darba dar\u012b\u0161an\u0101s. P\u0113k\u0161\u0146i, kaut ko iedom\u0101jies, vi\u0146\u0161 saka: “Brauc l\u012bdzi!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“K\u0101 tad es tik p\u0113k\u0161\u0146i varu braukt l\u012bdzi, un ko es tur dar\u012b\u0161u.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Nu t\u0101, brauc, un viss. Vilcien\u0101 var\u0113sim labi izrun\u0101ties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Klub\u0101 man visi m\u016bzi\u0137i labi draugi. Var\u0113si padejot, jo klub\u0101 b\u016bs daudz \u0101rzemju j\u016brnieku.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Nep\u013c\u0101p\u0101 niekus! Tik prasta publika mani neinteres\u0113.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Tu nek\u0101 nezini, tur nav tikai matro\u017ei, tur ir kaptei\u0146i, in\u017eenieri, \u013coti smalki, inteli\u0123enti kungi, lab\u0101ki par Eriksonu.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Ak iekodi gan! Un kur tad es, p\u0113c tav\u0101m dom\u0101m, palik\u0161u?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Viesn\u012bc\u0101, t\u0101pat k\u0101 es.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“N\u0113, es ar tevi vien\u0101 numur\u0101 neie\u0161u.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Es tev dab\u016b\u0161u atsevi\u0161\u0137u, man visas viesn\u012bcas d\u0101mas labi paz\u012bstamas, nebraucu pirmo reizi.” Atcer\u0113jusies neseno Eleonoras st\u0101stu, k\u0101 milicija mani mekl\u0113jusi, iedom\u0101jos, k\u0101 lielaj\u0101 Maskav\u0101 tie\u0161\u0101m, var\u0113ju t\u0113lot \u0101rzemnieci un vien\u012bgi \u0101rzemniekiem st\u0101st\u012bt, ka n\u0101ku no okup\u0113tas zemes, bet ne jau mazaj\u0101 Ventspil\u012b, kur stundas laik\u0101 visi, kam j\u0101zina, zin\u0101s, no kurienes esmu. Vesmanim jaut\u0101ju: “Vai tad ikviens dr\u012bkst braukt uz Ventspili?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“K\u0101d\u0113\u013c ne? Un tu tak brauksi kop\u0101 ar mani.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“J\u0101padom\u0101.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Tur nav ko dom\u0101t, braucam!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Labi, es tev r\u012bt piezvan\u012b\u0161u, tad do\u0161u atbildi.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Atvad\u012bju\u0161ies g\u0101j\u0101m katrs uz savu pusi. Man vajadz\u0113ja satikt biju\u0161o darb\u0101 biedreni Rutu. Izrun\u0101j\u0101mies, un pirms promie\u0161anas izmetu, ka Vesmanis mani aicina braukt vi\u0146am l\u012bdzi uz Ventspili, kur esot daudz smalku j\u016brnieku.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Brauc,” vi\u0146a saka, “ko tu vari zaud\u0113t? Varb\u016bt iepaz\u012bsies ar k\u0101du, varb\u016bt v\u0113l izn\u0101k k\u0101zas…”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Kur nu, nav tik vienk\u0101r\u0161i,” es dr\u016bmi noteicu, bet sev\u012b iek\u0161\u0137\u012bgi sajutu, ka Ruta ir aizsk\u0101rusi k\u0101du st\u012bgu, v\u0101rdos izteikusi manu klusu v\u0113l\u0113\u0161anos.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lai p\u0101rtrauktu klusumu, Ruta pavaic\u0101ja, vai Eriksons man raksta, jo vi\u0146a Eriksonu labi atcer\u0113j\u0101s no Jaungada nakts, kad m\u0113s pie vi\u0146as bij\u0101m.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“N\u0113, mums nek\u0101da noruna par sarakst\u012b\u0161anos nav bijusi, viss izrun\u0101ts, viss beidzies. Katram sava dz\u012bve j\u0101dz\u012bvo… J\u0101, es laikam tom\u0113r brauk\u0161u, pav\u0113ro\u0161u, k\u0101 tur tagad izskat\u0101s: Pie viena aizie\u0161u paskat\u012bties, vai mani radi tur v\u0113l dz\u012bvo. Manas vec\u0101sm\u0101tes m\u0101sas d\u0113lam pieder\u0113ja m\u0101ja un d\u0101rzniec\u012bba ar siltumn\u012bc\u0101m. Varb\u016bt tagad vairs nav nek\u0101.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Otr\u0101 dien\u0101 mani uzmekl\u0113ja k\u0101ds Rutas pazi\u0146a. Vi\u0146\u0161 l\u016bdza, vai es neb\u016btu ar mieru pa\u0146emt l\u012bdzi v\u0113stuli. \u012asum\u0101 vi\u0146\u0161 man pateica, ka v\u0113stuli gribot s\u016bt\u012bt br\u0101lim uz Ameriku un l\u016bgt, lai br\u0101lis vi\u0146am ats\u016bta izsaukumu. Atbild\u0113ju, ka es tikai priec\u0101\u0161os, ja var\u0113\u0161u k\u0101dam pal\u012bdz\u0113t. Ar\u012b pati gribu nos\u016bt\u012bt tr\u012bs v\u0113stules “caur laipnu roku”, kuru ceru Ventspil\u012b atrast.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0100dolfa v\u0113stule br\u0101lim izr\u0101d\u012bj\u0101s diezgan bieza. Sapratu, ka tur laikam uzrakst\u012bts viss, kas pa gadiem sakr\u0101jies uz sirds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Man bija neliela \u0101das ce\u013cojumu soma, tur pa\u0161\u0101 diben\u0101 ievietoju visas \u010detras v\u0113stules, virs\u016b kleitu, kurpes un citus nepiecie\u0161amos s\u012bkumus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ar Vesmani bij\u0101m norun\u0101ju\u0161i tikties stacij\u0101. Brauc\u0101m nakt\u012b un visu laiku nop\u013c\u0101p\u0101j\u0101m. Ventspil\u012b iebrauc\u0101m agri no r\u012bta. Viesn\u012bc\u0101 Vesmanis apmet\u0101s jau iepriek\u0161 rezerv\u0113t\u0101 istab\u0101, otraj\u0101 st\u0101v\u0101. Es dab\u016bju mazu jumta istabi\u0146u tre\u0161aj\u0101 st\u0101v\u0101. No somas iz\u0146\u0113mu dr\u0113bes un citas mantas, atst\u0101jot tikai v\u0113stules, naudas maku, \u0137emmi un kosm\u0113tikas piederumus. Nolikos k\u0101das p\u0101ris stundi\u0146as pagul\u0113t. Ar Vesmani bij\u0101m norun\u0101ju\u0161i tikties vakar\u0101 klub\u0101, dien\u0101 vi\u0146am j\u0101b\u016bt ost\u0101, es var\u0113ju viena pastaig\u0101ties pa Ventspili.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pa\u0113du viesn\u012bcas restor\u0101n\u0101. Tur bija visgar\u0161\u012bg\u0101k\u0101s k\u016bpin\u0101t\u0101s butes, k\u0101das es jebkad biju \u0113dusi. Izg\u0101ju uz ielas. Turpat ap st\u016bri pie kino neliels veikali\u0146\u0161, pilni plaukti ar ananasiem. L\u012bdz tam ananasus biju tikai bild\u0113s redz\u0113jusi. R\u012bg\u0101 k\u0101dreiz pirku konserv\u0113tus, ripi\u0146\u0101s sagrieztus, bet te man\u0101 acu priek\u0161\u0101 veseli, lieli un tik skaisti ar za\u013caj\u0101m lapu rot\u0101m. Un neviena pirc\u0113ja! R\u012bg\u0101 b\u016btu gara rinda. Bet k\u0101 aizvest uz R\u012bgu? Butes ar\u012b grib\u0113ju nopirkt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Daudz nedom\u0101dama, ieg\u0101ju cit\u0101 veikal\u0101 un nopirku vid\u0113ja lieluma koferi. Taj\u0101 sag\u0101ja pieci ananasi un v\u0113l atlika vieta but\u0113m. Smago koferi aizstiepu uz viesn\u012bcu un past\u016bmu pagult\u0113.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Priec\u012bga par pasakaino ieguvumu, g\u0101ju mekl\u0113t Kuld\u012bgas ielu, jo zin\u0101ju, ka radi tur pirms kara dz\u012bvoja. Kad man bija se\u0161i gadi, ar\u012b es tur biju. ciemojusies ar vecom\u0101ti. Cilv\u0113ki man par\u0101d\u012bja, uz kuru pusi j\u0101iet. Non\u0101kusi Kuld\u012bgas iel\u0101, vispirms v\u0113roju, vai aiz \u017eogiem nepar\u0101d\u012bsies siltumn\u012bcas: Nek\u0101 t\u0101da neman\u012bju, tad k\u0101dai pavec\u0101kai sievi\u0146ai pajaut\u0101ju, vai vi\u0146a nevar\u0113tu pateikt, kur\u0101 m\u0101j\u0101 dz\u012bvo vai dz\u012bvojis K\u0101rlis Skorejs. J\u0101, protams, vi\u0146a zin\u0101ja, K\u0101rlis miris, bet \u0123imene v\u0113l turpat dz\u012bvojot – un par\u0101d\u012bja m\u0101ju. Visvair\u0101k man grib\u0113j\u0101s kaut ko uzzin\u0101t par K\u0101r\u013ca jaun\u0101ko br\u0101li \u017dani, jo es pie vi\u0146a kop\u0101 ar vecom\u0101ti biju nodz\u012bvojusi 1935. gad\u0101 veselu vasaru.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u017da\u0146a \u012bpa\u0161ums \u0161osejas mal\u0101 uz Kuld\u012bgas – Ventspils ce\u013ca, net\u0101lu no Piltenes. \u017danim tur bija neliels “univers\u0101lveikali\u0146\u0161”, kur var\u0113ja dab\u016bt visu, s\u0101kot ar zirgliet\u0101m, apaviem, nagl\u0101m un beidzot ar si\u013c\u0137\u0113m, konfekt\u0113m un alu. Vieta sauc\u0101s “Spe\u0137u krogs”. Tur ar\u012b pietur\u0113ja autobuss. “Spe\u0137u krog\u0101” ticis pie tur\u012bbas, \u017danis, divat\u0101 ar m\u0101ti skopi un taup\u012bgi dz\u012bvojot, bija iekr\u0101jis naudu un 1938. gad\u0101 \u012avand\u0113 nopircis vecsaimniec\u012bbu ar visu dz\u012bvo un nedz\u012bvo invent\u0101ru, 130 ha aramzemes un 2 km me\u017ea. 1940. gada represijas vi\u0146am d\u012bvain\u0101 k\u0101rt\u0101 g\u0101ja secen. 1943. gad\u0101 pavasar\u012b, ap vizbul\u012b\u0161u zied\u0113\u0161anas laiku, \u017da\u0146a m\u0101te, manas vec\u0101sm\u0101tes m\u0101sa, kura visu \u0161o saimniec\u012bbu vad\u012bjusi, mira no p\u0101rp\u016bl\u0113\u0161an\u0101s septi\u0146desmit divu gadu vecum\u0101. Es biju b\u0113r\u0113s un visu \u017da\u0146a bag\u0101t\u012bbu redz\u0113ju sav\u0101m ac\u012bm. Nek\u0101 \u012bpa\u0161a tur nebija, k\u0101das tr\u012bsdesmit govis, c\u016bkas un aitas. Vi\u0146\u0161 \u010detrdesmit divu gadu vecum\u0101 v\u0113l staig\u0101ja vecpui\u0161os, jo nebija atradis tikpat bag\u0101tu l\u012bgavu. Toties vi\u0146am bija d\u016b\u0161\u012bga str\u0101dniece latgaliete, kura pie visiem m\u0101jas darbiem bija piepal\u012bdz\u0113jusi sag\u0101d\u0101t \u017danim ar\u012b divus d\u0113lus. B\u0113ru mielastu r\u012bkoja mana vec\u0101m\u0101te, es cepu tortes. Visi \u013coti br\u012bn\u012bj\u0101s par skaistaj\u0101m roz\u0113m uz tort\u0113m no saputota sviesta. K\u0101 es, \u010detrpadsmit gadu vecs sku\u0137is, t\u0101 varot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1947. gada pavasar\u012b k\u0101ds nakts vid\u016b atskr\u0113jis no izpildkomitejas un \u017dani br\u012bdin\u0101jis. \u017danis nav vilcin\u0101jies. Tai pa\u0161\u0101 nakt\u012b ar lab\u0101k\u0101m dr\u0113b\u0113m mugur\u0101 un p\u0101rtikas kuli rok\u0101 atst\u0101dams visu sav\u0101 un m\u0101tes m\u016b\u017e\u0101 sakr\u0101to, vi\u0146\u0161 aizb\u0113ga no m\u0101j\u0101m un ierad\u0101s pie mums Liep\u0101j\u0101. Uz kuru pusi doties, kas to lai zin?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ar t\u0101d\u0101m atmi\u0146\u0101m par \u017da\u0146onkoli klauv\u0113ju pie radu durv\u012bm. Man atv\u0113ra pusm\u016b\u017ea sieviete – K\u0101r\u013ca meita Milda. Teicu, kas es esmu un ka mana vec\u0101m\u0101te ar\u012b jau pievienojusies savai m\u0101sai Annai. Vispirms jaut\u0101ju par \u017dani. Tad noskaidroj\u0101s, ka es esmu bijusi p\u0113d\u0113j\u0101, kas vi\u0146u v\u0113l redz\u0113jusi sveiku un veselu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Izrun\u0101j\u0101mies par visu, k\u0101 jau radu starp\u0101 pie\u0146emts, kas miris, kas prec\u0113jies, par b\u0113rniem. Tad g\u0101ju uz viesn\u012bcu p\u0101r\u0123\u0113rbties vakaram. Uzk\u0101pusi otraj\u0101 st\u0101v\u0101, sastapu sievieti ar slotu un spaini rok\u0101s. Vi\u0146a, mani ieraudz\u012bjusi, pameta ar roku, pasauca aiz durv\u012bm un pa\u010dukst\u0113ja, ko vi\u0146a redz\u0113jusi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tikko k\u0101 es ap pusdienas laiku aizg\u0101jusi, esot ieradu\u0161ies divi v\u012brie\u0161i, pa\u0146\u0113mu\u0161i no de\u017eurantes manas istabas atsl\u0113gu un tur izdar\u012bju\u0161i krat\u012b\u0161anu. Pa durvju spraugu vi\u0146a redz\u0113jusi, k\u0101 vi\u0146i vilku\u0161i smago koferi no pagultes. Somu ar v\u0113stul\u0113m n\u0113s\u0101ju visu dienu l\u012bdzi. “Un tur bija pieci anan\u0101si!”, es smiedam\u0101s iesaucos, bet \u012bsten\u012bb\u0101 man gan smiekli nen\u0101ca, jutu sav\u0101du, smagu st\u012bvumu sirds apvid\u016b. Iespiedusi sievi\u0146ai sauj\u0101 k\u0101dus rub\u013cus, steidzos aug\u0161\u0101. Nek\u0101das nek\u0101rt\u012bbas neman\u012bju, viss sav\u0101s viet\u0101s. Bet saj\u016bta pret\u012bga, to nevar v\u0101rdiem izteikt. G\u0101ju uz klubu \u013coti nospiest\u0101 garast\u0101vokl\u012b. Tur v\u0113l bija maz cilv\u0113ku. Pa gabalu sasveicin\u0101jos ar Vesmani, kur\u0161 uztur\u0113j\u0101s or\u0137estra pui\u0161u sabiedr\u012bb\u0101. Es aps\u0113dos uz kr\u0113sla z\u0101les mal\u0101 un gaid\u012bju, kas notiks. Somu ar v\u0113stul\u0113m novietoju uz blakuskr\u0113sla un nol\u0113mu, ka dejot ne ar vienu neie\u0161u, jo nevaru pamest somu. Var\u0113ja b\u016bt ap pusdesmitiem, kad klubs s\u0101ka strauji pild\u012bties. Vispirms ien\u0101ca bari\u0146\u0161 jaunu cilv\u0113ku. Vi\u0146u uzved\u012bba liecin\u0101ja to, ka vi\u0146i ir br\u012bvi, pa\u0161apzin\u012bgi, bet ne piedauz\u012bgi darba cilv\u0113ki ar piekl\u0101j\u012bg\u0101m alg\u0101m, un var\u0113ja redz\u0113t, ka vi\u0146us nekas te \u012bpa\u0161i neinteres\u0113ja. Vi\u0146i garlaikoj\u0101s, pa\u0161i sav\u0101 starp\u0101 sarun\u0101damies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u0113c neilga laici\u0146a ielaipoja vair\u0101ki \u012bsti j\u016brnieki, \u013codz\u012bgu gaitu, da\u017es ar b\u0101rdu, cits bez matiem, bet visi neliel\u0101 \u017evingul\u012b.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Nu, t\u0101diem gan es savas v\u0113stules neuztic\u0113tu,” es nodom\u0101ju. P\u0113d\u012bgi ierad\u0101s liel\u0101ks bars, vi\u0146u vid\u016b paman\u012bju da\u017eus, ar kuriem b\u016btu v\u0113rts run\u0101t. Tie bija kungi labos m\u0113te\u013cos, uzvalkos un pusm\u016b\u017ea gados. Vi\u0146i g\u0101ja taisn\u0101 ce\u013c\u0101 uz to z\u0101les st\u016bri, kur pie or\u0137estra vi\u0146us sagaid\u012bja Vesmanis un v\u0113l p\u0101ris v\u012brie\u0161u. S\u0101ka sp\u0113l\u0113t deju m\u016bziku. Interesanti redz\u0113t, ar ko un k\u0101 vi\u0146i dejos, jo, iz\u0146emot mani, te sievietes neredz\u0113ju. Visp\u0101r es jutos \u0161aj\u0101 telp\u0101 lieka, neviens mani neiev\u0113roja. Ac\u012bmredzot biju p\u0101r\u0101k smalki ap\u0123\u0113rbusies t\u0101dam provinces klubam. Man bija \u013coti labi pa\u0161\u016bta pagara, pel\u0113ka vilnas kleita, bet uz pleciem uzmests sarkans m\u0113telis ar lielu meln\u0101 karakula apkakli, jo z\u0101le nebija pietieko\u0161i apkurin\u0101ta. Tagad, v\u0113rojot raibo sabiedr\u012bbu, iz\u0161\u0137\u012bru, kuri ir matro\u017ei un kuri no virsnieku k\u0101rtas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Viens matrozis, kad jau v\u0113l da\u017eas meitenes z\u0101l\u0113 apgroz\u012bj\u0101s, iedom\u0101j\u0101s uzl\u016bgt mani. Es vi\u0146am \u013coti piekl\u0101j\u012bg\u0101 form\u0101 paskaidroju, ka esmu te ieradusies ar v\u012bru, kuram \u0161eit dar\u012b\u0161anas, un dejot neie\u0161u. S\u0101ku gatavoties promie\u0161anai, jo nekas mani \u0161aj\u0101 klub\u0101 nesaist\u012bja. Pie izejas saskr\u0113jos ar to, kuru man vajadz\u0113ja. It k\u0101 p\u0113c norunas, uz min\u016bti, uz sekundi es eju \u0101r\u0101, vi\u0146\u0161 n\u0101k iek\u0161\u0101. Vi\u0146\u0161 v\u0101ciski atvainoj\u0101s, es atbild\u0113ju, ka t\u0101 jau k\u0101dreiz atgad\u0101s, ka divi sve\u0161i durv\u012bs saskrienas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Un tad vi\u0146i iepaz\u012bstas,” vi\u0146\u0161 priec\u012bgs saka.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Un tad vi\u0146\u0161 vi\u0146u pavada,” es atjokoju. Tas bija cilv\u0113ks, ar kuru var\u0113ju run\u0101t par visu, kas uz sirds. K\u0101 jau labi audzin\u0101ts cilv\u0113ks, vi\u0146\u0161 st\u0101d\u012bj\u0101s priek\u0161\u0101. Pateica v\u0101rdu, uzv\u0101rdu un ka ir t\u0101da un t\u0101da ku\u0123a galvenais in\u017eenieris. Es savuk\u0101rt piekl\u0101j\u012bbas p\u0113c pajaut\u0101ju, vai es vi\u0146u nekav\u0113ju, varb\u016bt vi\u0146am ir svar\u012bg\u0101kas dar\u012b\u0161anas nek\u0101 mani vad\u012bt uz viesn\u012bcu. N\u0113, es vi\u0146u nek\u0101d\u0101 zi\u0146\u0101 nekav\u0113jot un vi\u0146\u0161 ar liel\u0101ko prieku mani pavad\u012b\u0161ot. Bet prieks nesan\u0101ca liels ne vi\u0146am, ne man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ielas izr\u0101d\u012bj\u0101s piln\u012bgi tuk\u0161as. G\u0101j\u0101m run\u0101damies. Teicu, ka esmu no R\u012bgas un \u0161o pils\u0113tu v\u0113l nepaz\u012bstu. V\u0113l kaut ko parun\u0101j\u0101m par balto sniegu, k\u0101 tas ielas apgaismojum\u0101 skaisti vizu\u013co un tad notika kaut kas negaid\u012bts. Piln\u012bgi tuk\u0161\u0101 iel\u0101, aiz pirm\u0101 pagrieziena no kluba k\u0101 no gaisa nokritis, k\u0101ds mani notrieca gar zemi un izr\u0101va somu, kuru nesu labaj\u0101 rok\u0101. V\u0101cu in\u017eenieris g\u0101ja man blakus, kreisaj\u0101 pus\u0113. Tai pa\u0161\u0101 acumirkl\u012b atskan\u0113ja ska\u013ci kliedzieni. Viss, ko es pasp\u0113ju paman\u012bt, v\u0113l snieg\u0101 gu\u013cot, ka tie, kuri izr\u0101va somu, aizskrien kliegdami mums pa priek\u0161u un paz\u016bd ap st\u016bri. V\u0101cietis man pal\u012bdz\u0113ja piecelties un izskat\u012bj\u0101s \u013coti apmulsis un nelaim\u012bgs, ka nav bijis iepriek\u0161 sagatavots t\u0101dam negaid\u012btam uzbrukumam.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nevar\u0113j\u0101m vien nobr\u012bn\u012bties, ka neviens no mums nedzird\u0113ja k\u0101du tuvojamies. Tas notika sekundes laik\u0101. Es pat nesaredz\u0113ju, cik vi\u0146u bija, tr\u012bs, \u010detri vai pat pieci. Laikam tom\u0113r \u010detri. Ne par ko citu atliku\u0161o ce\u013ca gabali\u0146u run\u0101t vairs nesp\u0113j\u0101m. Es past\u0101st\u012bju, ka som\u0101 atrad\u0101s \u010detras v\u0113stules, kuras es grib\u0113ju uztic\u0113t k\u0101dai god\u012bgai personai nos\u016bt\u012b\u0161anai uz \u0101rzem\u0113m. Tagad vi\u0146\u0161 visvair\u0101k b\u0113d\u0101j\u0101s, k\u0101d\u0113\u013c neesmu vi\u0146am t\u016bli\u0146 v\u0113stules iedevusi, pie vi\u0146a t\u0101s b\u016btu biju\u0161as dro\u0161\u012bb\u0101. Es tie\u0161i par to pa\u0161u biju iedom\u0101jusies, bet piekl\u0101j\u012bbas p\u0113c ta\u010du vispirms vajadz\u0113ja uzzin\u0101t, vai es k\u0101du cilv\u0113ku neapgr\u016btin\u0101tu, dodama l\u012bdzi s\u016bt\u012b\u0161anai neapmaks\u0101tas v\u0113stules.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Restor\u0101ns viesn\u012bcas pirmaj\u0101 st\u0101v\u0101 v\u0113l bija va\u013c\u0101. Nosalu\u0161i un ne visai jautr\u0101 garast\u0101vokli nol\u0113m\u0101m pas\u0113d\u0113t restor\u0101n\u0101. Izdz\u0113r\u0101m katrs p\u0101ris tases kafijas, lai siltums atgrieztos. Mani krat\u012bja drebu\u013ci – vair\u0101k gan no uztraukuma nek\u0101 no aukstuma, t\u0101d\u0113\u013c pas\u016bt\u012bj\u0101m pie kafijas konjaku. \u012asi pirms pusnakts atvad\u012bj\u0101mies. Nedro\u0161iem so\u013ciem k\u0101pu aug\u0161\u0101, baid\u012bdam\u0101s, vai mani negaida v\u0113l k\u0101ds nepat\u012bkams p\u0101rsteigums.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Visu nakti pr\u0101toju, vai t\u0101 bija vienk\u0101r\u0161a laup\u012b\u0161ana, vai tas b\u016btu sakar\u0101 ar istabas p\u0101rmekl\u0113\u0161anu dien\u0101. Iet uz miliciju zi\u0146ot vai neiet? Nol\u0113mu tom\u0113r iet. Uzrakst\u012bju milicij\u0101, k\u0101d\u0101 veid\u0101 esmu aplaup\u012bta, minot somas saturu. V\u0113stules es, protams, neuzr\u0101d\u012bju, jo cer\u0113ju, ka t\u0101s b\u016bs jau nos\u016bt\u012btas k\u0101d\u0101 atkritumu tvertn\u0113 vai kr\u0101sn\u012b.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kad iesniedzu z\u0101dz\u012bbas pieteikumu, mani s\u0101ka pratin\u0101t, ko es darot Ventspil\u012b, kad un k\u0101d\u0101 nol\u016bk\u0101 atbraukusi. Mana uztur\u0113\u0161an\u0101s \u0161aj\u0101 pils\u0113t\u0101 esot nev\u0113lama. Atbild\u0113ju, ka ar\u012b es no savas puses uztur\u0113ties t\u0101d\u0101 pils\u0113t\u0101, kur man jau pirmaj\u0101 dien\u0101 uzbr\u016bk un aplaupa, nev\u0113los, bet k\u0101 lai tieku uz R\u012bgu, ja visa mana nauda nolaup\u012bta? Tas vi\u0146us, protams, neinteres\u0113ja. Dusm\u012bga viesn\u012bc\u0101 uzmekl\u0113ju Vesmani, aiz\u0146\u0113mos naudu un braucu uz m\u0101j\u0101m.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u0113c k\u0101d\u0101m trim ned\u0113\u013c\u0101m sa\u0146\u0113mu pav\u0113sti ierasties st\u016bra m\u0101j\u0101. K\u0101 jau katram t\u0101d\u0101 reiz\u0113, n\u0101k pr\u0101t\u0101 da\u017e\u0101di min\u0113jumi. T\u0101pat gar ac\u012bm pasl\u012bd visi gad\u012bjumi, par kuriem var\u0113tu pras\u012bt paskaidrojumus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Liels bija mans p\u0101rsteigums, kad, atverot kabineta durvis, vispirms ieraudz\u012bju savu somu un tikai p\u0113c tam \u010dekas darbinieku. Nu man bija skaidrs, k\u0101d\u0113\u013c soma tika izrauta. Galv\u0101 \u0161aud\u012bj\u0101s viena vien\u012bga doma – v\u0113stules. Kas ar v\u0113stul\u0113m noticis, vai vi\u0146as tur v\u0113l ir?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ilgi man ne\u013c\u0101va apdom\u0101ties. Man lika atv\u0113rt somu un p\u0101rbaud\u012bt, vai tur ir viss, vai k\u0101 netr\u016bkst. Som\u0101 nek\u0101 netr\u016bka, iz\u0146emot v\u0113stules. Teicu: “J\u0101, te ir viss, nek\u0101 netr\u016bkst. “P\u0101rbaudiet v\u0113l un padom\u0101jiet, kas v\u0113l atrad\u0101s som\u0101.” Kaut ar\u012b zin\u0101ju, k\u0101 tr\u016bkst, izlikos, ka v\u0113l kaut ko mekl\u0113ju. “Dom\u0101ju, ka viss ir k\u0101rt\u012bb\u0101,” jau nedro\u0161\u0101k apstiprin\u0101ju iepriek\u0161 teikto.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Un v\u0113stules? K\u0101 ar t\u0101m? \u010cekists triumf\u0113jo\u0161i jaut\u0101ja.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“V\u0113stules? K\u0101das v\u0113stules? Neatceros, ka ar\u012b v\u0113stules b\u016btu som\u0101 biju\u0161as.” Nu es jutu, ka man zem k\u0101j\u0101m gr\u012bda svilst.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sapratu, ka esmu slazdos, bet v\u0113l m\u0113\u0123in\u0101ju iz\u0137epuroties. “J\u0101, da\u017eas v\u0113stules man bija uzrakst\u012btas, dom\u0101ju nest uz pastu, bet neatceros, vai t\u0101s palika m\u0101j\u0101s vai som\u0101”.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Ar\u012b to j\u016bs grib\u0113j\u0101t nest uz pastu, kura nav j\u016bsu rakst\u012bta?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

T\u0101, slazdi nu ir ciet. Vairs man nav nek\u0101du iesp\u0113ju izgroz\u012bties. Un tom\u0113r m\u0113\u0123in\u0101ts nav zaud\u0113ts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Ak t\u0101, nu, es zinu, ko j\u016bs dom\u0101jat, bet t\u0101 v\u0113stule visp\u0101r nebija dom\u0101ta s\u016bt\u012b\u0161anai, to man viens pazi\u0146a iedeva, lai es izlasu un izsaku savas domas – t\u0101du var vai nevar s\u016bt\u012bt. Un, ja man b\u016btu bijis nol\u016bks v\u0113stules cit\u0101d\u0101 veid\u0101 nog\u0101d\u0101t uz \u0101rzem\u0113m, tad es tak t\u0101s nek\u0101d\u0101 zi\u0146\u0101 neb\u016btu n\u0113s\u0101jusi apk\u0101rt som\u0101, bet b\u016btu atdevusi k\u0101dam \u0101rzemniekam, lai aizved. Biju Ventspil\u012b klub\u0101, tur ierad\u0101s daudz \u0101rzemju j\u016brnieku, jebkuram b\u016btu var\u0113jusi iedot gan v\u0113stules, gan naudu pusstopam. Ne lakst\u012bgala paka\u013c nedzied\u0101tu. Nu, vai t\u0101 neb\u016btu?” Gaid\u012bju atbildi. Atbildes nebija. Man lika parakst\u012bties par somas sa\u0146em\u0161anu un \u013c\u0101va iet, bet saj\u016bta bij\u0101 \u0161ausm\u012bga. V\u0113l raiz\u0113jos par to sve\u0161o v\u0113stuli, pie kuras es tik daudz biju piedom\u0101jusi, lai t\u0101 laim\u012bgi nok\u013c\u016btu l\u012bdz Amerikai. Ko tagad teikt, k\u0101 skat\u012bties ac\u012bs cilv\u0113kam, kur\u0161 man ir uztic\u0113jies? Nevar\u0113dama atrast nekur mieru, steidzos pie Rutas, lai br\u012bdina \u0100dolfu par notiku\u0161o. P\u0113c da\u017e\u0101m dien\u0101m ar\u012b \u0100dolfu izsauca uz st\u016bra m\u0101ju. Es zin\u0101ju, ka vi\u0146u noteikti sauks, t\u0101d\u0113\u013c, bai\u013codam\u0101s par vi\u0146u, staig\u0101ju apk\u0101rt ne dz\u012bva, ne mirusi. Ne par ko citu nebiju sp\u0113j\u012bga dom\u0101t k\u0101 vien\u012bgi par v\u0113stuli. \u0160ausm\u012bgi no\u017e\u0113loju, k\u0101d\u0113\u013c nebiju v\u0101cietim vismaz to vienu iedevusi piecas min\u016btes agr\u0101k. Ar nepaciet\u012bbu gaid\u012bju tik\u0161anos ar \u0100dolfu. Ja vi\u0146u apcietin\u0101tu, es nezin\u0101tu, k\u0101 turpm\u0101k dz\u012bvot, jo manas vainas d\u0113\u013c cilv\u0113ks b\u016btu non\u0101cis cietum\u0101! \u0100dolfs atn\u0101ca uz darbu. Vi\u0146u ieraudz\u012bjusi, nevi\u013cus padom\u0101ju, kas b\u016btu bijis Sta\u013cina laikos. Gribot negribot bija j\u0101atz\u012bst, ka laiki main\u012bju\u0161ies, bet tas v\u0113l nenoz\u012bm\u0113, ka vairs nav j\u0101baid\u0101s. \u0100dolfs tom\u0113r tika sod\u012bts: vi\u0146u atlaida no darba, vi\u0146\u0161 vairs nedr\u012bkst\u0113ja str\u0101d\u0101t par \u0161oferi uz taksometra. T\u0101s bija b\u0113d\u012bgas zi\u0146as. Pat mies\u012bgam br\u0101lim nedr\u012bkst\u0113ja rakst\u012bt v\u0113stul\u0113 visu, ko grib. T\u0101das lietas cilv\u0113ki neaizmirst, par t\u0101m v\u0113l run\u0101s p\u0113c desmit paaudz\u0113m.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

NEPAT\u012aKAM\u0100K\u0100 SARUNA<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Jau k\u0101dus divus gadus katru dienu p\u0113c darba pusdienoju vecaj\u0101 Piena restor\u0101n\u0101 (taj\u0101 viet\u0101 tagad viesn\u012bca “Latvija” uzcelta). Tur \u0113dienus gatavoja katrai gaumei un gar\u0161\u012bgus. Viesu apkalpot\u0101jas es visas zin\u0101ju p\u0113c skata, bet iepazinusies ne ar vienu nebiju.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mans p\u0101rsteigums bija neaprakst\u0101ms, kad reiz viesu apkalpot\u0101ja, pasniedzot man saldo un r\u0113\u0137inu, pateica, ka priek\u0161telp\u0101 mani gaidot divi v\u012brie\u0161i. Bez sevi\u0161\u0137as steigas noties\u0101ju saldo \u0113dienu. T\u0101 tik v\u0113l tr\u016bktu – pamest saldo un skriet skat\u012bties, kas mani gaida. Klus\u012bb\u0101 pr\u0101toju, k\u0101d\u0113\u013c \u0161ie tik kautr\u012bgi un nen\u0101k aps\u0113sties pie mana galdi\u0146a, ja jau zina, kur es s\u0113\u017eu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Izn\u0101kusi priek\u0161telp\u0101, skatos un br\u012bnos – nevienas paz\u012bstamas sejas neredzu. Bet tie divi, kuri tur bija, pazina mani, pien\u0101ca kl\u0101t un, uzr\u0101dot apliec\u012bbas, st\u0101d\u012bj\u0101s priek\u0161\u0101: Sta\u0146islavs Viktorovi\u010ds un Vladimirs Ivanovi\u010ds, abi no VDK. Vi\u0146i, k\u0101 jau toreiz bija pie\u0146emts, ja viens ir krievs, abi run\u0101ja krieviski. Nezinu, k\u0101 var\u0113ju nok\u0101pt pa k\u0101pn\u0113m, jo k\u0101j\u0101s bija iemeties st\u012bvums no bail\u0113m, kas nu atkal b\u016bs? Dom\u0101s apcer\u0113ju visu, kas vi\u0146us ierosin\u0101jis mani mekl\u0113t, bet velti rak\u0146\u0101jos pag\u0101tnes apcirk\u0146os. \u0160oreiz vi\u0146i nebija n\u0101ku\u0161i pag\u0101tnes d\u0113\u013c. Vi\u0146i ar mani grib\u0113ja run\u0101t par n\u0101kotni. Ejot pa ielu, vi\u0146i cent\u0101s izskat\u012bties br\u012bvi, nepiespiesti, neofici\u0101li, pat pajokoja, pasm\u0113j\u0101s. Uz ielas tom\u0113r run\u0101t nev\u0113l\u0113j\u0101s, bet turpat net\u0101lu uz Dzirnavu ielas esot k\u0101ds dz\u012bvoklis, kur\u0101 m\u0113s var\u0113tu aprun\u0101ties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Teicu, ka es ar sve\u0161iem cilv\u0113kiem dz\u012bvokl\u012b iet negribu!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vi\u0146i mani dro\u0161in\u0101ja, ka man nekas nenotik\u0161ot, viss, ko vi\u0146i gribot, n\u0101k\u0161ot tikai man par labu. Mani tom\u0113r m\u0101ca \u0161aubas, vai apliec\u012bbas bija \u012bstas, jo es t\u0101s nemaz netiku k\u0101rt\u012bgi izlas\u012bjusi: t\u0101s tikai nozib\u0113ja man\u0101 acu priek\u0161\u0101, bet vi\u0146u izskats tom\u0113r nor\u0101d\u012bja, ka vi\u0146i ir no VDK.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0112ka atrad\u0101s Dzirnavu ielas kreisaj\u0101 pus\u0113, no Br\u012bv\u012bbas ielas pirmaj\u0101 pagalm\u0101. Pirmaj\u0101 st\u0101v\u0101, pa labi atsl\u0113dza durvis, un visi tr\u012bs ieg\u0101j\u0101m neliel\u0101 istab\u0101, kur viss nor\u0101d\u012bja uz to, ka t\u0101 ir parasta dz\u012bvok\u013ca istaba. Aps\u0113d\u0101mies. P\u0113c \u012bsa un nenoz\u012bm\u012bga ievada Sta\u0146islavs Viktorovi\u010ds, kura uzv\u0101rdu es uzzin\u0101ju tikai tr\u012bsdesmit gadus v\u0113l\u0101k, (un tas izr\u0101d\u012bj\u0101s Zukulis) man pateica \u0161is sav\u0101d\u0101s tik\u0161an\u0101s iemeslu. Vi\u0146iem esot zin\u0101ms, ka es p\u0101rvaldot vair\u0101kas sve\u0161valodas. Par to es ne\u0161aub\u012bjos, ka vi\u0146i kaut ko zina, bet iestarpin\u0101ju, ka ar to p\u0101rvald\u012b\u0161anu t\u0101 nu ir, k\u0101 ir, bet nenoliedzu, ka sve\u0161valod\u0101s sam\u0113r\u0101 labi orient\u0113jos. Vi\u0146i tom\u0113r uzskatot, ka es valodas zinot labi un ka mans pien\u0101kums esot ar \u0161\u012bm zin\u0101\u0161an\u0101m kalpot valstij, prec\u012bz\u0101k – valsts dro\u0161\u012bbai. Tagad, k\u0101 es pati to labi zinot, m\u016bsu valsti (dom\u0101ta Padomju Savien\u012bba) apmekl\u0113 aizvien vair\u0101k \u0101rzemnieku, vi\u0146u vid\u016b esot daudz \u0101rzemju izl\u016bkdienesta a\u0123entu, kuri ar savu darb\u012bbu grib sagraut m\u016bsu valsts dro\u0161\u012bbu un labkl\u0101j\u012bbu. Mans uzdevums esot tikties ar \u0161iem \u0101rzemniekiem, klaus\u012bties, ko vi\u0146i run\u0101, sarun\u0101s uzzin\u0101t vi\u0146u domas par padomju valsts iek\u0161\u0113jo un \u0101r\u0113jo politiku un vald\u012bbas t\u0101lejo\u0161ajiem internacion\u0101lajiem m\u0113r\u0137iem, lasi: par Eiropas un pasaules pak\u013cau\u0161anu komunisma teroram.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Acis nepamirk\u0161\u0137in\u0101jusi atbild\u0113ju: “Ja es k\u0101du no valod\u0101m b\u016btu iem\u0101c\u012bjusies padomju izgl\u012bt\u012bbas sist\u0113m\u0101 – skol\u0101, uz valsts r\u0113\u0137ina, tad es kaut k\u0101d\u0101 m\u0113r\u0101 \u0161odien justos valstij par\u0101d\u0101, un par\u0101ds b\u016btu j\u0101atstr\u0101d\u0101. Es valstij par\u0101d\u0101 neesmu, jo valodas m\u0101cos pa\u0161m\u0101c\u012bbas ce\u013c\u0101, t\u0101d\u0113\u013c uzskatu, ka man nav nek\u0101das saist\u012bbas j\u0101uz\u0146emas, jo savu person\u012bgo br\u012bv\u012bbu v\u0113rt\u0113ju augst\u0101k par visu citu.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Uz mazu br\u012bdi iest\u0101j\u0101s neveikls klusums. Tad atkal run\u0101ja Zukulis. Nu vi\u0146\u0161 piev\u0113rs\u0101s man\u0101m br\u012bni\u0161\u0137\u012bgaj\u0101m izredz\u0113m n\u0101kotn\u0113. L\u016bk, tuv\u0101kaj\u0101 laik\u0101 R\u012bg\u0101 atv\u0113r\u0161ot veikalus, kuros preces var\u0113\u0161ot ieg\u0101d\u0101ties tikai par val\u016btu. Tur iepirksies tikai \u0101rzemnieki. Vi\u0146\u0161 ir jau padom\u0101jis, cik piem\u0113rota b\u016btu mana kandidat\u016bra str\u0101d\u0101t t\u0101d\u0101 veikal\u0101. Bet Zukulis nezin\u0101ja, ka nekad sav\u0101 dz\u012bv\u0113 neesmu sap\u0146ojusi tais\u012bt karjeru tirdzniec\u012bb\u0101. Neskatoties uz to, ka biju vienm\u0113r ar visiem pirc\u0113jiem \u013coti laipna, pedantiski k\u0101rt\u012bga naudas liet\u0101s, k\u0101d\u0113\u013c iemantoju darb\u0101 cie\u0146u un uztic\u012bbu, man \u0161is darbs rieb\u0101s un es to dar\u012bju tikai \u0101rk\u0101rt\u0113ju apst\u0101k\u013cu spiesta, kad biju iedz\u012bta gal\u0113j\u0101s nabadz\u012bbas strupce\u013c\u0101.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cik rei\u017eu, kad paman\u012bju k\u0101dus biju\u0161os skolas biedrus, es pagriezos, lai mani nepaz\u012btu, un izlikos kaut ko k\u0101rtojam plauktos. Man bija kauns st\u0101v\u0113t veikal\u0101 aiz letes, jo tas nebija mans dz\u012bves m\u0113r\u0137is. Varb\u016bt tas bija mu\u013c\u0137\u012bgi, jo no darba neesot j\u0101kaun\u0101s, bet sevi p\u0101rtais\u012bt es nevar\u0113ju. T\u0101d\u0113\u013c ar\u012b atbild\u0113ju, ka val\u016btas veikal\u0101 str\u0101d\u0101t nev\u0113los.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lai tak es apdom\u0101joties. Tur es var\u0113\u0161ot, gl\u012bti ap\u0123\u0113rbusies, apkalpot nedaudzos \u0101rzemju pirc\u0113jus, silt\u0101s, lab\u0101s telp\u0101s, nevis ziem\u0101 salt tirgus b\u016bd\u0101. Ar\u012b alga b\u016b\u0161ot lab\u0101ka. “Cik m\u012b\u013ci, ka j\u016bs par mani t\u0101 r\u016bp\u0113jaties,” es piekl\u0101j\u012bgi atbild\u0113ju, bet paliku pie sav\u0101m dom\u0101m, ka vi\u0146u laipnos pied\u0101v\u0101jumus nepie\u0146em\u0161u.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

J\u0101saka, ka visa neilg\u0101 saruna norisin\u0101j\u0101s “draudz\u012bg\u0101 atmosf\u0113r\u0101”, un, ne par ko nevienoju\u0161ies, atvad\u012bj\u0101mies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lai ar\u012b k\u0101, bet t\u0101da veida saruna man \u0161\u0137ita v\u0113l nepat\u012bkam\u0101ka nek\u0101 tad, kad biju izsaukta St\u016bra m\u0101j\u0101 par v\u0113stul\u0113m. Tur es izmis\u012bgi aizst\u0101v\u0113jos, jo \u012bsten\u012bb\u0101 jutos vain\u012bga. Tom\u0113r v\u0113stules bija dom\u0101tas nos\u016bt\u012b\u0161anai uz \u0101rzem\u0113m un, ja viss b\u016btu paveicies gludi, man b\u016btu liels iek\u0161\u0113js apmierin\u0101jums, k\u0101 par labi paveikta darbu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Toties tagad vain\u012bga nejutos, k\u0101d\u0113\u013c tad mani trauc\u0113 un sag\u0101d\u0101 liekus uztraukumus?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bet, no otras puses, uztraukums bija tikai pirmaj\u0101 br\u012bdi, Piena restor\u0101n\u0101, nu, un v\u0113l ejot pa ielu, kam\u0113r nezin\u0101ju, kas vi\u0146iem aiz \u0101das. Sarunas laik\u0101 nek\u0101du draudu vai br\u012bdin\u0101jumu nebija. Attur\u012bgi laipn\u0101 form\u0101 man ieteica “uzlabot”, dz\u012bvi. Varb\u016bt k\u0101ds cits man\u0101 viet\u0101 berz\u0113tu rokas un priec\u0101tos, ka tiks str\u0101d\u0101t silt\u0101, pat\u012bkam\u0101 val\u016btas veikal\u0101. Es dusmojos.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dom\u0101s sal\u012bdzin\u0101ju, k\u0101 tas viss b\u016btu bijis Sta\u013cina laikos, kas b\u016btu bijis par atteik\u0161anos sadarboties. Un cik loj\u0101ls varb\u016bt t\u0101ds a\u0123ents, kur\u0161, bai\u013codamies par savu dz\u012bv\u012bbu, deva parakstu…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u0101rn\u0101kusi m\u0101j\u0101s, grib\u0113ju palas\u012bt k\u0101du gr\u0101matu, jo antikvari\u0101t\u0101 biju vair\u0101kas ieg\u0101d\u0101jusies, bet velt\u012bgi, ne maz\u0101k k\u0101 desmit rei\u017eu n\u0101ca pr\u0101t\u0101 visa saruna no s\u0101kuma l\u012bdz galam. Manas valodu zin\u0101\u0161anas vi\u0146i ir konstat\u0113ju\u0161i, kontrol\u0113jot, manu korespondenci. T\u0101 es to sapratu. Turpm\u0101k, ja v\u0113l k\u0101du reizi izn\u0101ktu l\u012bdz\u012bga saruna, man tom\u0113r b\u016bs j\u0101past\u0101v, ka manas valodu zin\u0101\u0161anas ne tuvu neatbilst vi\u0146u iedom\u0101tai izt\u0113lei, atskaitot v\u0101cu. Un visp\u0101r, kam man visa \u0161\u012b sarakst\u012b\u0161an\u0101s bija j\u0101uzs\u0101k, iz\u0146emot visp\u0101rpie\u0146emtas piekl\u0101j\u012bbas fr\u0101zes, nek\u0101 cita v\u0113stu\u013cu satur\u0101 nebija. Un tom\u0113r ar \u0161\u012bm, it k\u0101 nevienam nevajadz\u012bgaj\u0101m v\u0113stul\u0113m, man\u012b tika aizpild\u012bts vientul\u012bbas tuk\u0161ums. Cilv\u0113kam, kur\u0161 nekad nav juties vientu\u013c\u0161, b\u016btu gr\u016bti izskaidrot, k\u0101 var priec\u0101ties par v\u0113stuli vai pasta kart\u012bti, kuru ir rakst\u012bjis cilv\u0113ks, ar kuru esmu k\u0101du stundu vai divas sarun\u0101jusies k\u0101d\u0101 lidost\u0101, muzej\u0101 vai kafejn\u012bc\u0101.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bet kur\u0161 vis\u0101 pla\u0161aj\u0101 pasaul\u0113 tic\u0113tu tam, ka tuk\u0161a, nevain\u012bga sarakst\u012b\u0161an\u0101s var\u0113tu ieinteres\u0113t k\u0101das valsts dro\u0161\u012bbas dienestu? Par \u0161o t\u0113mu b\u016btu v\u0113rts dzi\u013c\u0101k padom\u0101t un pasauli p\u0113c iesp\u0113jas pla\u0161\u0101k inform\u0113t, ka ir t\u0101da valsts, kur\u0101 miera apst\u0101k\u013cos visu priv\u0101to korespondenci stingri kontrol\u0113. Es no savas puses labi pacentos, man nepaz\u012bstamos, v\u0113stu\u013cu kontrol\u0113t\u0101jus noslogot ar darbu un s\u0101ku rakst\u012bt garas v\u0113stules, uz div\u0101m trim lap\u0101m. Kas par to, ja da\u017ereiz v\u0113stules sacer\u0113\u0161ana man pras\u012bja desmit stundas, \u0161\u0137irstot v\u0101rdn\u012bcas un gramatikas gr\u0101matas. Ar\u012b tur savs prieks. Turpm\u0101k neaizmirsu inform\u0113t katru potenci\u0101lo v\u0113stu\u013cu rakst\u012bt\u0101ju, ka man dom\u0101to korespondenci ar\u012b citi las\u012bs. Dz\u012bves skol\u0101 daudz j\u0101m\u0101c\u0101s…Da\u017ei m\u0113ne\u0161i pag\u0101ja bez p\u0101rmai\u0146\u0101m. K\u0101 parasti, p\u0101rn\u0101kusi no darba, \u0161\u0137irst\u012bju savas gr\u0101matas. Pie durv\u012bm k\u0101ds zvan\u012bja. Parasti saimniece g\u0101ja atv\u0113rt, jo es nek\u0101dus viesus neaicin\u0101ju un negaid\u012bju.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0160oreiz neviena m\u0101j\u0101s nebija, un es pati g\u0101ju atv\u0113rt durvis. Jutos nepat\u012bkami p\u0101rsteigta, ieraugot negaid\u012btu viesi no \u010dekas – Vladimiru Ivanovi\u010du. Vai vi\u0146\u0161 dr\u012bkstot ien\u0101kt? Es p\u0101ris so\u013cus atk\u0101pos un viesi ielaidu, bet \u013coti br\u012bn\u012bjos, ko tas var\u0113tu noz\u012bm\u0113t . Nebija laika nek\u0101d\u0101m p\u0101rdom\u0101m, jo Vladimirs Ivanovi\u010ds pal\u016bdza at\u013cauju ien\u0101kt man\u0101 dz\u012bvokl\u012b.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Bet j\u016bs jau esat man\u0101 dz\u012bvokl\u012b”.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“N\u0113,” vi\u0146\u0161 apjucis saka, “\u0161is te ir gaitenis, vai es tom\u0113r, ar j\u016bsu at\u013cauju, nevar\u0113tu ieiet istab\u0101?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Tom\u0113r \u0161\u012b ir mana istaba,” es apgalvoju un pavilkusi m\u0113b\u0113\u013cdr\u0101nas priek\u0161karu, par\u0101d\u012bju \u0161auro ni\u0161u, kuru vis\u0101 piln\u012bb\u0101 aiz\u0146\u0113ma mana vien\u012bg\u0101 m\u0113bele – tahta.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Bet tas tak nav iesp\u0113jams – dz\u012bvot caurstaig\u0101jam\u0101 gaiten\u012b.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“K\u0101 redzat, ir iesp\u0113jams. Neko lab\u0101ku l\u012bdz \u0161im man nav izdevies atrast.” Vi\u0146\u0161 neesot zin\u0101jis, ka es dz\u012bvojot t\u0101dos apst\u0101k\u013cos. Vien\u012bgo kr\u0113slu pie sienas vi\u0146\u0161 lik\u0101s neiev\u0113rojam, un m\u0113s turpin\u0101j\u0101m sarunu, st\u0101vot k\u0101j\u0101s. Vi\u0146\u0161 man pasniedza bi\u013ceti uz operu. Biju m\u0113ma aiz p\u0101rsteiguma. T\u0101l\u0101k sekoja paskaidrojums. Man n\u0101ko\u0161\u0101s dienas vakar\u0101 j\u0101iet uz operu. Lo\u017e\u0101 blakus kr\u0113sl\u0101 s\u0113d\u0113\u0161ot k\u0101ds v\u0101cietis un b\u016btu v\u0113lams, lai es ar \u0161o v\u0101cieti iepaz\u012btos. Valters \u0112ms (Walter Ehm) esot \u013coti interesants sarunu biedrs, man garlaic\u012bgi neb\u016b\u0161ot. Bez tam \u0112ms nedaudz zinot krievu valodu, gad\u012bjum\u0101, ja vi\u0146\u0161 ko pateiktu krieviski, lai es nejustos v\u012blusies un p\u0101rsteigta. Krievu valodu vi\u0146\u0161 iem\u0101c\u012bjies Sib\u012brij\u0101, kur uztur\u0113jies k\u0101 kara g\u016bsteknis. Tagad vi\u0146 str\u0101d\u0101jot uz v\u0101cu ku\u0123a, ar kuru ir ieradies R\u012bg\u0101.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“J\u0101, un k\u0101da loma man? Ko j\u016bs no manis gribat? Kas man j\u0101dara?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Neko sevi\u0161\u0137u. Aiziesit uz operu, iepaz\u012bsieties, pavad\u012bsit labu vakaru. Vi\u0146\u0161 te uztur\u0113sies vair\u0101kas dienas, vakaros var\u0113sit satikties.” Neko no visa sac\u012bt\u0101 nevar\u0113ju izlob\u012bt. \u010cekists saved\u0113ja lom\u0101 man \u0161\u0137ita piln\u012bgs absurds. Vi\u0146iem bija zin\u0101ma visa \u0112ma biogr\u0101fija vair\u0101k neko uzzin\u0101t nevajadz\u0113ja un, ja ar\u012b vajadz\u0113tu, ne jau es b\u016b\u0161u t\u0101, kas vi\u0146iem ko st\u0101st\u012bs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Bet ja v\u0101cietis prasa manu adresi? Ko lai es saku?” Katram gad\u012bjumam pavaic\u0101ju.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Sakiet, k\u0101 ir: esat nesen no v\u012bra \u0161\u0137\u012brusies, pie sava dz\u012bvok\u013ca v\u0113l neesat tikusi un pagaid\u0101m esat apmetusies \u0161eit.” “Un es, p\u0113c j\u016bsu dom\u0101m, dr\u012bkstu \u0101rzemniekam r\u0101d\u012bt, ka man j\u0101dz\u012bvo caurstaig\u0101jam\u0101 koridor\u0101?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Nu, pasakiet; ka tas t\u0101 ir pagaid\u0101m, uz \u012bsu laiku.” to pateicis, Vladimirs Ivanovi\u010ds steidz\u012bgi atvad\u012bj\u0101s. Palikusi viena un visu p\u0101rdom\u0101jusi, gudr\u0101ka netiku. Sapratu tikai vienu, ka \u010deka milz\u012bgi r\u016bp\u0113jas par Valtera \u0112ma labsaj\u016btu. Iedod bi\u013ceti uz operu, blakus grib nos\u0113din\u0101t d\u0101mu, kas vi\u0146u izklaid\u0113tu starpbr\u012b\u017eos, p\u0113c operas un v\u0113l r\u012bt un par\u012bt, varb\u016bt aizpar\u012bt. Protams, uz operu ie\u0161u, bi\u013cete zudum\u0101 neaizies. T\u0101l\u0101kais b\u016bs uz vietas lab\u0101k redzams. No manis neko neprasa, nek\u0101dus sol\u012bjumus, parakstus nevienam devusi neesmu. Paskat\u012b\u0161os, kas tas ir par parad\u012bzes putnu. Varb\u016bt cen\u0161as kompens\u0113t p\u0101r t\u0101m p\u0101rest\u012bb\u0101m, kuras \u0112ms p\u0101rcietis krievu g\u016bst\u0101.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ejot uz operu, uz\u0123\u0113rbu tum\u0161i za\u013cu tafta kleitu ar stipri ie\u017e\u0146augtu vidu un kupliem zvanveida sv\u0101rkiem. Apliku baltu \u0161alli ap pleciem. T\u0113rpu papildin\u0101ju ar baltiem cimdiem un balt\u0101m krell\u0113m. Ar savu izskatu biju apmierin\u0101ta.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vien\u012bgi man nebija skaidrs, kur\u0161 ar kuru s\u0101ks run\u0101t. To biju aizmirsusi pajaut\u0101t. Bet ko man b\u0113d\u0101t, noskat\u012b\u0161os operu un ie\u0161u m\u0101j\u0101s, paldies \u010dekai par bi\u013ceti. Aps\u0113dusies lo\u017e\u0101 sav\u0101 kr\u0113sl\u0101, m\u0113\u0123in\u0101ju iedzi\u013cin\u0101ties programm\u0101, bet tas ne visai izdev\u0101s. Tom\u0113r jutu lielu starp\u012bbu, k\u0101 ir, kad pati eju uz operu, un k\u0101 ir, kad cita uzdevum\u0101. Blakus kr\u0113sl\u0101 v\u0113l neviens nes\u0113d\u0113ja. P\u0113k\u0161\u0146i man uzn\u0101ca t\u0101da k\u0101 nedro\u0161\u012bba, k\u0101 bai\u013cu saj\u016bta, gandr\u012bz bija t\u0101, ka b\u016btu j\u0101ce\u013cas un j\u0101skrien prom. Bet te jau v\u0101cietis n\u0101ca, sal\u012bdzin\u0101ja bi\u013cetes numuru ar kr\u0113sla numuru, to visu es jutu, uz vi\u0146u nepaskat\u012bjusies. Izlikos, ka lasu programmu. Cik labi, ka t\u0101da ir rok\u0101s!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pac\u0113l\u0101s priek\u0161kars. Ar ac\u012bm un aus\u012bm tv\u0113ru to, kas notiek uz skatuves, bet domas kav\u0113j\u0101s pie v\u0101cie\u0161a blakus kr\u0113sl\u0101. Vai vi\u0146\u0161 s\u0101ks ar mani run\u0101t starpbr\u012bd\u012b vai nes\u0101ks. Katr\u0101 zi\u0146\u0101 ie\u0161u \u0101r\u0101 uzsm\u0113\u0137\u0113t, jo nervi dar\u012bja savu un nos\u0113d\u0113t uz vietas ilg\u0101k vairs nesp\u0113ju. Tikko iedeg\u0101s gaisma, c\u0113los, un bez k\u0101da nodoma programma nokrita uz gr\u012bdas. V\u0101cietis pac\u0113la un, kaut ko sac\u012bdams, man to pasniedza. \u012asti nezin\u0101ju, vai b\u016btu labi uzreiz atbild\u0113t v\u0101ciski, es attur\u012bgi pasmaid\u012bju, pateic\u012bbas viet\u0101 pam\u0101ju ar galvu un g\u0101ju \u0101r\u0101. J\u0101, vi\u0146\u0161 man pa gabalu sekoja, jo ar\u012b grib\u0113ja sm\u0113\u0137\u0113t. Tad nu es som\u0101 ilgi mekl\u0113ju s\u0113rkoci\u0146us, un v\u0101cietis, man pasniegdams uguni, jaut\u0101ja: Sprechen sie Deutsch? Es t\u016bli\u0146 \u0101tri un klusi pa\u010dukst\u0113ju, ka j\u0101, es labpr\u0101t run\u0101ju v\u0101ciski, bet \u0161\u012b nav \u012bsti piem\u0113rota vieta sarun\u0101ties v\u0101cu valod\u0101. T\u0101 m\u0113s st\u0101v\u0113j\u0101m viens otram pret\u012b un sm\u0113\u0137\u0113dami v\u0113roj\u0101m viens otru. V\u0101cietim var\u0113ja b\u016bt tuvu pie \u010detrdesmit gadiem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gara auguma, blonds, ar zil\u0101m ac\u012bm, \u012bsts \u0101rietis. Labi piegulo\u0161s, pel\u0113ks uzvalks, balts krekls, tum\u0161a kaklasaite. Pa reizei pasmaid\u012bj\u0101m. Otraj\u0101 starpbr\u012bd\u012b vi\u0146\u0161 man klusi pajaut\u0101ja, vai m\u0113s p\u0113c izr\u0101des nevar\u0113tu pas\u0113d\u0113t k\u0101d\u0101 kafejn\u012bc\u0101. Tie\u0161i to es biju gaid\u012bjusi, jo visu otro c\u0113lienu manas domas koncentr\u0113j\u0101s ap kafejn\u012bcu. Vai vi\u0146\u0161 sp\u0113j nolas\u012bt manas domas. Brrr… To nu gan es vismaz\u0101k v\u0113l\u0113tos. Sagad\u012b\u0161an\u0101s, nekas cits. Un kas tur par br\u012bnumu, ja cilv\u0113kam sve\u0161\u0101 pils\u0113t\u0101 gribas sarun\u0101ties sav\u0101 valod\u0101? Un m\u0113s pavad\u012bj\u0101m pat\u012bkamu vakaru. Kafejn\u012bc\u0101 ilgi neuzkav\u0113j\u0101mies. P\u0113c pavir\u0161as iepaz\u012b\u0161an\u0101s norun\u0101j\u0101m tikties n\u0101ko\u0161\u0101s dienas vakar\u0101.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Norun\u0101taj\u0101 laik\u0101 vi\u0146\u0161 jau st\u0101v\u0113ja k\u0101 briedis. Pastaig\u0101j\u0101mies pa apst\u0101d\u012bjumiem un daudz run\u0101j\u0101m. J\u0101, vi\u0146\u0161 pats s\u0101ka man st\u0101st\u012bt, ka Latvij\u0101 un Igaunij\u0101 bijis jau kara laik\u0101 un ka te vi\u0146am nekas nav sve\u0161s. P\u0113c tam sekoja \u012bsts \u0161ausmu st\u0101sts par g\u016bst\u0101 pavad\u012bto laiku Krievij\u0101. No savas puses centos dot vi\u0146am draudz\u012bgu padomu par \u0161\u012bm liet\u0101m \u0161aj\u0101 zem\u0113 nerun\u0101t un nevienam neko nest\u0101st\u012bt, jo tas vi\u0146am var\u0113tu kait\u0113t, k\u0101ds v\u0113l iedom\u0101tos notur\u0113t vi\u0146u par spiegu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Ah!” vi\u0146\u0161 izsauc\u0101s. “Kuru tas interes\u0113, tie jau t\u0101 vai t\u0101 visu zina, un tie\u0161i t\u0101d\u0113\u013c es g\u0101ju uz operu. Tur tak nav ko spiegot.” “J\u0101, un tur iepazin\u0101ties ar viet\u0113jo iedz\u012bvot\u0101ju, lai nodibin\u0101tu sakarus,” es atjokoju. S\u0101ka l\u012b\u0146\u0101t, un Valters grib\u0113ja n\u0101kt man l\u012bdzi uz dz\u012bvokli. Es atbild\u0113ju, ka ar liel\u0101ko prieku vi\u0146u pie sevis uzaicin\u0101tu ciemos, ja man b\u016btu savas m\u0101jas. Un tad es past\u0101st\u012bju vi\u0146am visu par to nenorm\u0101lo st\u0101vokli, ka, mums, latvie\u0161iem, sav\u0101 zem\u0113 ir nep\u0101rvaramas gr\u016bt\u012bbas tikt pie saviem dz\u012bvok\u013ciem. Pateicu, ka esmu jau divus gadus \u0161\u0137\u012brusies un nav bijusi nek\u0101da iesp\u0113ja pat par naudu ieg\u016bt pa\u0161ai savu vienu istabu un ka esmu apmetusies pie div\u0101m d\u0101m\u0101m koridor\u0101.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Tas nekas,” vi\u0146\u0161 teica, “pudeli v\u012bna m\u0113s tak tur dr\u012bkst\u0113sim izdzert.” Vi\u0146am t\u0101 esot kabat\u0101. Jaunielas dz\u012bvok\u013ca saimnieces par manu viesi priec\u0101j\u0101s vair\u0101k nek\u0101 es pati, jo vi\u0146as bija “v\u0101cu laika meitenes”, un vi\u0146\u0101m bija prieks atcer\u0113ties sava m\u016b\u017ea pat\u012bkam\u0101ko laiku. Bez tam abas labi run\u0101ja v\u0101ciski. Valters ar\u012b jut\u0101s k\u0101 zivs \u016bden\u012b. Laika r\u0101d\u012bt\u0101js ar\u012b vi\u0146am bija pagriezies par piecpadsmit gadiem atpaka\u013c. Visa maz\u0101 komp\u0101nija dzied\u0101ja v\u0101cu laika dziesmas. Valteram bija izcili laba, sp\u0113c\u012bga balss. Vi\u0146\u0161 viens pats solo nodzied\u0101ja “Grenada”. \u0160o dziesmu es dzird\u0113ju pirmo reizi. Skaista! V\u012bna pudele iztuk\u0161ota, saimnieces, atvad\u012bju\u0161\u0101s un ieg\u0101ju\u0161as savos apartamentos, atst\u0101ja m\u016bs divat\u0101. Valters, joproj\u0101m lab\u0101 garast\u0101vokli, dungodams “Grenadu”, mier\u012bgi novelk \u017eaketi, no\u0146em kaklasaiti un novelk kurpes, atgu\u013cas man\u0101 gu\u013cas viet\u0101 un, smaid\u012bdams saulainu smaidu, aicina mani blakus. Apjukusi st\u0101v\u0113ju un dom\u0101ju, ko nu dar\u012bt, t\u0101das izdar\u012bbas nebiju paredz\u0113jusi. Bet vi\u0146\u0161 ac\u012bmredzot juta un saprata visu t\u0101, k\u0101 bija radis v\u0101cu laikos. Es vi\u0146am teicu, ka tie laiki ir pag\u0101ju\u0161i, kad pie meiten\u0113m var\u0113ja palikt pa nakti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Es jau nepalik\u0161u visu nakti, ja tu to nev\u0113l\u0113sies, bet tagad, m\u012b\u013cumi\u0146 n\u0101c…”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“N\u0113, m\u012b\u013cais, m\u0113s v\u0113l esam p\u0101r\u0101k sve\u0161i, un ne t\u0101d\u0113\u013c es jums at\u013c\u0101vu n\u0101kt l\u012bdzi. Es dom\u0101ju, m\u0113s var\u0113sim netrauc\u0113ti parun\u0101ties un lab\u0101k iepaz\u012bties.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nepasp\u0113ju pateikt visu, ko grib\u0113ju teikt, vi\u0146\u0161 strauji, k\u0101 t\u012b\u0123eris uzl\u0113ca, sagr\u0101ba mani ar cie\u0161u tv\u0113rienu un, nor\u0101vis sev blakus, aizv\u0113ra man muti ar sav\u0113jo. Biju sa\u0161utusi un, p\u0113c diezgan s\u012bvas c\u012b\u0146as atbr\u012bvojusies no v\u0101cie\u0161a skav\u0101m, atv\u0113ru \u0101rdurvis un pav\u0113l\u0113ju:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“\u0100r\u0101, t\u016bl\u012bt \u0101r\u0101!” N\u0113, to vi\u0146\u0161 nevar\u0113ja saprast, m\u0113\u0123in\u0101ja v\u0113l vis\u0101di pielabin\u0101ties, bet, pan\u0101kumus neguvis, ap\u0123\u0113rb\u0101s un t\u012bri nelaim\u012bgs aizg\u0101ja.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Otr\u0101 dien\u0101, samekl\u0113jusi Sta\u0146islava Viktorovi\u010da Zuku\u013ca iedoto telefona numuru, g\u0101ju uz ielas st\u016bra autom\u0101tu zvan\u012bt. Biju nikna. Sadzird\u0113jusi Zuku\u013ca balsi, es vi\u0146am jaut\u0101ju:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Vai zin\u0101t, ar ko j\u016bs mani saved\u0101t kop\u0101? Ar seksu\u0101lu maniaku! J\u016bsu uzdevum\u0101 es ar Valteru \u0112mu iepazinos, j\u016bsu uzdevum\u0101 ar vi\u0146u grib\u0113ju run\u0101t, bet vi\u0146\u0161 run\u0101t visp\u0101r negrib\u0113ja, k\u0101 p\u0101r slieksni p\u0101ri, t\u0101 r\u0101va mani gult\u0101. Labi, ka nedz\u012bvoju viena, es vi\u0146u izdzinu. Un turpm\u0101k l\u016bdzu mani ar t\u0101diem seksu\u0101liem maniakiem neapgr\u016btin\u0101t.” Ar to ar\u012b viss beidz\u0101s. Mani lika mier\u0101.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

ISTABA VEIDENBAUMA IEL\u0100<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Pag\u0101ja vair\u0101ki m\u0113ne\u0161i. K\u0101d\u0101 rudens dien\u0101, p\u0101rn\u0101kusi no darba, gatavojos iet pa\u0113st. K\u0101ds zvan\u012bja pie durv\u012bm. Ar zin\u0101mu nepatiku konstat\u0113ju, ka n\u0101c\u0113js bija Vladimirs Ivanovi\u010ds. Ien\u0101ca t\u0101ds kluss un gandr\u012bz vai pazem\u012bgs. Neko nejaut\u0101ja. Vi\u0146\u0161, l\u016bk, esot dom\u0101jis par mani un par to, k\u0101dos apst\u0101k\u013cos es dz\u012bvojot. Vi\u0146\u0161 zinot k\u0101du istabu, kura p\u0113c div\u0101m ned\u0113\u013c\u0101m atbr\u012bvo\u0161oties. S\u0101ku uzman\u012bgi klaus\u012bties, uz kuru pusi velk, bet neko nejaut\u0101ju. Tad vi\u0146\u0161 turpin\u0101ja: k\u0101dai vi\u0146a pazi\u0146ai esot j\u0101brauc prom no R\u012bgas uz veseliem diviem gadiem, bet vi\u0146a negribot pazaud\u0113t istabu, t.i., savu plat\u012bbu, un es var\u0113tu tur dz\u012bvot, maks\u0101jot \u012bri un elektr\u012bbu, jo vi\u0146a man atst\u0101\u0161ot gr\u0101mati\u0146as, kuras palik\u0161ot uz vi\u0146as v\u0101rda. Viss teiktais izklaus\u012bj\u0101s pie\u0146emami. T\u016bl\u012bt ar\u012b iedom\u0101jos: ja man dotu k\u0101du istabu vai dz\u012bvokli uz mana v\u0101rda, tad es t\u0101dam Vladimiram Ivanovi\u010dam paliktu par\u0101dniece un man liktu par\u0101du atkalpot, bet \u0161aj\u0101 variant\u0101 es b\u016btu t\u0101, kas n\u0101k pret\u012b krievietei, saglab\u0101jot vi\u0146as dz\u012bvojamo plat\u012bbu. Pateikusies par laipn\u012bbu un r\u016bp\u0113m, pajaut\u0101ju: “Un kas man j\u0101dara?” Atbilde skan\u0113ja pie\u0146emama. R\u012bt vakar\u0101 lai es aizejot uz Veidenbauma ielu, kur vi\u0146a pazi\u0146a mani gaid\u012b\u0161ot, un m\u0113s pa\u0161as var\u0113\u0161ot par visu vienoties. To pateicis, vi\u0146\u0161 aizg\u0101ja. Visu nakti dom\u0101ju: lamatas vai vienk\u0101r\u0161a pret\u012bmn\u0101k\u0161ana. Kas to var zin\u0101t, j\u0101pav\u0113ro. P\u0101r\u0101k liels t\u0101ds k\u0101rdin\u0101jums – pa\u0161ai sava istaba, kaut ar\u012b uz diviem gadiem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Otr\u0101 dien\u0101, ne ar vienu neaprun\u0101jusies, g\u0101ju uz uzdoto adresi. T\u0101 izr\u0101d\u012bj\u0101s vec\u0101 koka m\u0101j\u0101, blakus Kr\u012bgera pirtij. Ieeja caur v\u0101rtiem. Dz\u012bvoklis apak\u0161\u0113j\u0101 st\u0101v\u0101, bet min\u0113tajai istabai atsevi\u0161\u0137a ieeja, kreisaj\u0101 pus\u0113. Krieviete atv\u0113ra. \u013boti jauka, smaid\u012bga, kalsena sieviete pusm\u016b\u017ea gados.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ieg\u0101ju paliel\u0101 istab\u0101 ar augstiem griestiem, bet nevar\u0113ju vien beigt br\u012bn\u012bties, k\u0101 t\u0101d\u0101 negl\u012bt\u0101 telp\u0101 var dz\u012bvot, turkl\u0101t sieviete. S\u0101kum\u0101 dom\u0101ju, varb\u016bt istaba pieder k\u0101dai \u010dekas darbiniecei, bet, p\u0113c man\u0101m dom\u0101m, \u010dekas darbiniecei b\u016btu vismaz piekl\u0101j\u012bgas m\u0113beles. T\u0101s, ko es tur redz\u0113ju, par m\u0113bel\u0113m nosaukt nevar\u0113ja. Kakt\u0101 bija novietota \u0161ausm\u012bgi veca, ar nodrisk\u0101tu \u0101das imit\u0101ciju p\u0101rvilkta, \u0101rstu kabinetiem tipiska ku\u0161ete. Mazi\u0146\u0161, vecs, neapkl\u0101ts; savu m\u016b\u017eu nokalpojis apa\u013c\u0161 galdi\u0146\u0161 un divi nenosak\u0101mas kr\u0101sas V\u012bnes kr\u0113sli. Logam priek\u0161\u0101 ar div\u0101m nagl\u0101m piestiprin\u0101ta net\u012bra kat\u016bna lupata. Ak, k\u0101d\u0101 no\u017e\u0113lojam\u0101 nabadz\u012bb\u0101 \u0161\u012b krieviete dz\u012bvojusi! Dr\u0113bes pak\u0101rtas uz nagl\u0101m pie durv\u012bm. Pati gan ap\u0123\u0113rbusies t\u012bri piekl\u0101j\u012bgi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“J\u0101,” vi\u0146a ies\u0101ka, “man j\u0101brauc komand\u0113jum\u0101 uz Permu, uz diviem gadiem. P\u0113c tam gribu \u0161eit atgriezties un t\u0101d\u0113\u013c saglab\u0101t \u0161o istabu. Vladimirs Ivanovi\u010ds man teica, ka j\u016bs dz\u012bvojot k\u0101d\u0101 gaiten\u012b, un tad man ien\u0101ca pr\u0101t\u0101, ka j\u016bs var\u0113tu uz mana v\u0101rda turpin\u0101t maks\u0101t \u012bri un \u0161eit dz\u012bvot. Es, protams, neizrakst\u012b\u0161os, bet aiziesim uz namu p\u0101rvaldi un j\u016bs uz laiku \u0161eit pierakst\u012bsim ar noteikumu, ka j\u016bs manu \u012bri samaks\u0101siet.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Protams, samaks\u0101\u0161u, par to nevar b\u016bt pat runa, bet kur \u0161eit \u016bdens un labier\u012bc\u012bbas?” “J\u0101, to \u0161eit nav, ar atsl\u0113gu j\u0101iet blakus dz\u012bvokl\u012b, tur ir virtuve, \u016bdens un tualete, bet es j\u016bs iepaz\u012bstin\u0101\u0161u un pateik\u0161u, ka atst\u0101ju sav\u0101 viet\u0101.” “Un, ja dr\u012bkstu zin\u0101t, k\u0101di cilv\u0113ki dz\u012bvo blakus dz\u012bvokl\u012b?” Man\u012b perin\u0101j\u0101s vis\u0101das aizdomas, bet piln\u012bgi nomierin\u0101jos, kad uzzin\u0101ju, ka vien\u0101 istab\u0101 dz\u012bvo pavisam veca, jauka tanti\u0146a, bet otr\u0101 k\u0101da jauna latvie\u0161u \u0123imene – v\u012brs, sieva un mazs b\u0113rni\u0146\u0161. Tad ar\u012b iev\u0113roju, ka sienas labaj\u0101 pus\u0113 k\u0101dreiz biju\u0161as durvis, bet t\u0101s tagad kapit\u0101li aiztais\u012btas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

V\u0113l pajaut\u0101ju, kur likt vi\u0146as m\u0113beles, jo man b\u016bs pa\u0161ai savas. J\u0101, t\u0101s es dr\u012bkstot ievietot malkas \u0161\u0137\u016bn\u012bt\u012b, kuru vi\u0146a man par\u0101d\u012bja. Kad gatavoj\u0101mies iet uz namu p\u0101rvaldi, krieviete man pam\u0101c\u012bja nopirkt veikal\u0101 k\u0101du d\u0101vanu namu p\u0101rvaldniecei.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Ak t\u0101? Es nekad neesmu devusi nevienai p\u0101rvaldniecei d\u0101vanu. Un kas, p\u0113c j\u016bsu dom\u0101m, man b\u016btu j\u0101nop\u0113rk?” “Nu, teiksim, k\u0101du krist\u0101la trauku vai v\u0101zi, kas katr\u0101 m\u0101j\u0101 der.” “Tev laikam pa\u0161ai t\u0101das lietas pat\u012bk,” es nodom\u0101ju un apsol\u012bjos nopirkt vajadz\u012bgo d\u0101vanu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Da\u017eas dienas v\u0113l\u0101k atkal satik\u0101mies Veidenbauma iel\u0101. Man bija l\u012bdzi liela, smaga krist\u0101la v\u0101ze un ne\u013c\u0137es ar\u012b, ko v\u0101z\u0113 likt. Apskat\u012bjusi pirkumu, krieviete atzin\u012bgi pam\u0101ja ar galvu, un m\u0113s g\u0101j\u0101m uz namu p\u0101rvaldi. Tur viss nok\u0101rtoj\u0101s gludi, jo namu p\u0101rvaldniece, ar\u012b krieviete, izr\u0101d\u012bj\u0101s ar manu krievieti labas pazi\u0146as. Laikam jau iepriek\u0161 bija saska\u0146oju\u0161as, k\u0101du d\u0101vanu p\u0101rvaldniece grib.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Es t\u0101 ar\u012b krievietei nepajaut\u0101ju, kur vi\u0146a str\u0101d\u0101 un par ko, bet p\u0113c \u010dekistes vi\u0146a neizskat\u012bj\u0101s. Turkl\u0101t kuku\u013cdo\u0161ana p\u0101rvaldniecei, t\u0101pat tr\u016bc\u012bg\u0101 istaba, pati ar\u012b \u013coti smaid\u012bga.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sa\u0146\u0113musi istabas atsl\u0113gu, p\u0101rv\u0101kties nesteidzos, jo istaba pras\u012bja lielu remontu, apmetums saplais\u0101jis, un vien\u0101 st\u016br\u012b milz\u012bga sprauga, gandr\u012bz t\u0101da – izb\u0101z roku un sasveicinies ar ielas g\u0101j\u0113jiem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Visus remonta darbus paveicu viena pati, pa\u0161\u0101s beig\u0101s nokr\u0101soju gr\u012bdu ar labu e\u013c\u013cas kr\u0101su, t\u0101du ko\u0161i za\u013cu, un v\u0113l p\u0113c k\u0101d\u0101m \u010detr\u0101m piec\u0101m dien\u0101m, kad gr\u012bda bija labi no\u017euvusi, var\u0113ju iev\u0101kties. P\u0113c m\u0113ne\u0161a, kad biju ieg\u0101d\u0101jusies jaunu riekstkoka tr\u012bsdurvju skapi, kuru viena pati samont\u0113ju, st\u0101vlampu, gr\u0101matu sekciju un tepi\u0137i, istaba mani piln\u012bgi apmierin\u0101ja. Malku ar\u012b viena pati sakr\u0101vu \u0161\u0137\u016bn\u012b un skald\u012bju p\u0113c vajadz\u012bbas. Balt\u0101 podi\u0146u kr\u0101sns sild\u012bja labi. Tom\u0113r kaut kas bija t\u0101ds neizskaidrojams un aizdom\u012bgs, kas man nedeva mieru. Jau sienas labojot, t\u0101s pamat\u012bgi p\u0101rbaud\u012bju – vai nav kur iemont\u0113ta noklaus\u012b\u0161an\u0101s ier\u012bce. P\u0101rmekl\u0113ju kr\u0101sns aug\u0161u, gr\u012bdu, bet nekur nek\u0101 aizdom\u012bga neatradu. Tad s\u0101ku ar liel\u0101m aizdom\u0101m skat\u012bties uz to vietu, kur agr\u0101k biju\u0161as durvis uz blakus, dz\u012bvokli. Nol\u0113mu kaimi\u0146us apciemot un pie izdev\u012bbas nop\u0113t\u012bt to sienas da\u013cu no otras puses. Kad p\u0113c k\u0101da m\u0113ne\u0161a rad\u0101s iesp\u0113j sienu apskat\u012bt no otras puses, ar\u012b nek\u0101 interesanta neredz\u0113ju, siena sen kr\u0101sota, nek\u0101du labojumu tur nebija.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sadraudz\u0113jos ar Em\u012bliju Ivanovnu. T\u0101 bija veca d\u0101ma ar lab\u0101m manier\u0113m. Vi\u0146a labi run\u0101ja latviski, krieviski, franciski, v\u0101ciski. Jaun\u012bb\u0101 dz\u012bvojusi P\u0113terpil\u012b un Par\u012bz\u0113.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Reiz vi\u0146a jaut\u0101ja, vai var\u0113tu uz mana atska\u0146ot\u0101ja paklaus\u012bties p\u0101ris plates – kad man b\u016btu k\u0101ds br\u012bvs br\u012bdis. Vi\u0146a nev\u0113loties mani apgr\u016btin\u0101t ar savu l\u016bgumu. T\u0101da diena dr\u012bzum\u0101 pien\u0101ca. Iztinusi no flane\u013ca dr\u0101n\u0101s plates, vi\u0146a man t\u0101s sniedza ar lielu uzman\u012bbu un saudz\u012bbu. Es t\u0101das sav\u0101 m\u016b\u017e\u0101 nebiju redz\u0113jusi. T\u0101s bija \u013coti biezas, smagas un ieraksts tikai vien\u0101 pus\u0113. Paskat\u012bjusies otro pusi, iev\u0113roju iegrav\u0113tu tekstu, kuru man nebija gr\u016bti izlas\u012bt un saprast. Tur it\u0101\u013cu valod\u0101 bija rakst\u012bts: MANAI LIELAJAI M\u012aLEST\u012aBAI EM\u012aLIJAI NO ENRIKO KARUZO. J\u0101, nu man k\u013cuva skaidrs, k\u0101du sv\u0113tumu, k\u0101du d\u0101rgumu turu sav\u0101s rok\u0101s! Ieraksts, atkl\u0101ti sakot, skan\u0113ja nekvalitat\u012bvi, tom\u0113r tas bija vi\u0146\u0161, un tas bija ori\u0123in\u0101ls. Dziedoni Karuzo mana kaimi\u0146iene pazinusi ilg\u0101ku laiku. Vi\u0146i tiku\u0161ies Par\u012bz\u0113. No t\u0101s reizes es Em\u012bliju Ivanovnu uzskat\u012bju par savu draudzeni, m\u016bs ta\u010du \u0161\u0137\u012bra tikai nieka piecdesmit gadi. Es vi\u0146ai labpr\u0101t pal\u012bdz\u0113ju, kad tas bija nepiecie\u0161ams. T\u0101tad ar kaimi\u0146iem attiec\u012bbas \u0101tri izveidoj\u0101s \u012bsti sirsn\u012bgas, un nek\u0101d\u0101m raiz\u0113m nebija pamata. Beidzot manas aizdomas apst\u0101j\u0101s pie durvju atsl\u0113gas. Varb\u016bt krieviete otro atsl\u0113gu sai\u0161\u0137i atst\u0101jusi Vladimiram Ivanovi\u010dam un, kam\u0113r esmu darb\u0101, “vi\u0146i” var kontrol\u0113t manus pap\u012brus vai ko citu?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nol\u0113mu bez vajadz\u012bbas atsl\u0113gas nemain\u012bt, bet, ejot prom, pie durv\u012bm nometu neuzkr\u012bto\u0161u diega galu. Bet atkal viss velt\u012bgi. Diega gals, kur nomests, tur bija. Lai ar\u012b k\u0101 sev p\u016bl\u0113jos iest\u0101st\u012bt, ka istaba man atst\u0101ta tikai saglab\u0101\u0161anai, tas fakts, ka \u010dekists bijis starpnieks, mani trauc\u0113ja t\u0101d\u0101 m\u0113r\u0101, ka es vairs nesag\u0101jos ar draugiem un pazi\u0146\u0101m. Izdom\u0101ju, ka piesardz\u012bbas d\u0113\u013c man ir j\u0101izvair\u0101s tikties ar draudzen\u0113m un citiem tuviniekiem. Es \u0161ai istabai tom\u0113r neuztic\u0113jos. Pati ar\u012b nekur sabiedr\u012bb\u0101 ner\u0101d\u012bjos, s\u0113d\u0113ju istab\u0101, j\u016bsmoju par t\u012br\u012bbu un spodr\u012bbu, k\u0101d\u0101 tagad dz\u012bvoju, biju priec\u012bga, ka beidzot esmu viena un nodarbojos ar pa\u0161izgl\u012bt\u012bbu un valod\u0101m. Un nebija iemesla justies neapmierin\u0101tai. Bet kaut kas nom\u0101ca. Kaut ko gaid\u012bju. Kaut kam bija j\u0101notiek. Un, pien\u0101ca diena, kad ar piln\u0101m ties\u012bb\u0101m ierad\u0101s ciemi\u0146i: Vladimirs Ivanovi\u010ds ar Sta\u0146islavu Viktorovi\u010du Zukuli. Izteiku\u0161i atzin\u012bbu par istabas gl\u012bto iek\u0101rtojumu un v\u0113l devu\u0161i padomu, ka labaj\u0101 pus\u0113 pie sienas der\u0113tu klavieres (bet par k\u0101du naudu?), vi\u0146i s\u0101ka dot man da\u017e\u0101dus padomus. Valodas tas ir labi, bet man esot nepiecie\u0161ams papla\u0161in\u0101t politisko izgl\u012bt\u012bbu. Vai es lasot av\u012bzes? Teicu, ka nelasu. N\u0113, av\u012bzes j\u0101lasa oblig\u0101ti, katru dienu pasaul\u0113 kaut kas notiek, un man par to esot j\u0101b\u016bt lietas kurs\u0101. Uz ko vi\u0146i velk? Kam vi\u0146i mani gatavo? Noklaus\u012bjos padomu klus\u0113dama. Vi\u0146i aizg\u0101ja. Man bija tikai viena v\u0113l\u0113\u0161an\u0101s: kaut vi\u0146i nen\u0101ktu un liktu mani mier\u0101.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pag\u0101ja da\u017eas ned\u0113\u013cas, un, p\u0101rn\u0101kusi m\u0101j\u0101s, pastkast\u012bt\u0113 atradu av\u012bzi C\u012b\u0146a. P\u0113c tam katru dienu man pien\u0101ca C\u012b\u0146a, kuru izmantoju kr\u0101sns iekuram. Kas tie\u0161i av\u012bzi pieg\u0101d\u0101ja, man v\u0113l \u0161odien nav zin\u0101ms. Un es nevienam to nepajaut\u0101ju.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

K\u0101du dienu pastkast\u012bt\u0113 bez av\u012bzes atradu aploksni ar bi\u013ceti uz operu. Apskat\u012bjusi bi\u013ceti, redz\u0113ju, ka t\u0101 nav lo\u017e\u0101, bet partera vid\u016b, k\u0101d\u0101 10. vai 12. rind\u0101. Nu ir gan kavalieri, pie sevis nodom\u0101ju un pasmaid\u012bju. Nu, ja opera, tad labi. \u0160oreiz, lai nodro\u0161in\u0101tos pret nepat\u012bkam\u0101m varb\u016bt\u012bb\u0101m, nol\u0113mu nevienu uz m\u0101ju nevest. Toreiz bija cit\u0101di, dz\u012bvoju gandr\u012bz k\u0101 \u0123imen\u0113. Tagad esmu viena, man j\u0101m\u0101c\u0101s vienai dz\u012bvot. Oper\u0101 ieradusies, iev\u0113roju, ka \u013cau\u017eu p\u0101rpild\u012btaj\u0101 parter\u012b ir viena vien\u012bga piln\u012bgi tuk\u0161a rinda un mana vieta ir tuk\u0161\u0101s rindas pa\u0161\u0101 vid\u016b… \u012asi pirms tre\u0161\u0101 zvana man\u0101 rind\u0101 no ab\u0101m pus\u0113m steidz\u012bgi ie\u0146\u0113ma vietas v\u0101cu j\u016brnieki. Es viena pati pa\u0161\u0101 vid\u016b jutos, vienk\u0101r\u0161i izsakoties, rieb\u012bgi, k\u0101 sve\u0161\u0137ermenis t\u0101d\u0113\u013c izlikos, ka blakuss\u0113d\u0113t\u0101jus neredzu, nedzirdu un koncentr\u0113jos vien\u012bgi uz klaus\u012b\u0161anos. \u013boti apmierin\u0101ta ar sevi, ne uz vienu nepaskat\u012bjusies, steidzos taisn\u0101 ce\u013c\u0101 uz m\u0101j\u0101m. Ja man k\u0101ds jaut\u0101s kaut ko, k\u0101d\u0113\u013c neesmu ne ar vienu run\u0101jusi, man atbilde bija gatava: “Neviena labi audzin\u0101ta sieviete sve\u0161us v\u012brie\u0161us neuzrun\u0101!” Bet neviens neko nepras\u012bja, jo gan jau k\u0101ds nov\u0113rot\u0101js visu redz\u0113ja. No t\u0101s reizes br\u012bvbi\u013ceti uz operu vairs nesa\u0146\u0113mu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u0113c viena m\u0113ne\u0161a C\u012b\u0146a ar\u012b vairs nepien\u0101ca. Un labi, ka t\u0101, neb\u016b\u0161u nevienam neko par\u0101d\u0101!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

NORV\u0112\u0122U Z\u0112NS<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Tan\u012b janv\u0101ra dien\u0101 sals knieba ne\u017e\u0113l\u012bgi. Mugur\u0101 man bija ait\u0101das ka\u017eoks, apjozts ar siksnu, lai siltums lab\u0101k tur\u0113tos. Gar\u0101s bikses ieb\u0101ztas lielos velte\u0146os, kuri sniedz\u0101s l\u012bdz pat ce\u013ciem. Ar visu to nebija iesp\u0113jams mier\u012bgi nost\u0101v\u0113t, un, lai dab\u016btu siltumu kaulos, m\u0113s l\u0113k\u0101j\u0101m, d\u012bd\u012bj\u0101mies – k\u0101 nu kur\u0161. Pa visu Centr\u0101ltirgu pirc\u0113jus var\u0113ja uz pirkstiem saskait\u012bt. Nepr\u0101ts t\u0101d\u0101 laik\u0101 tur\u0113t atv\u0113rtus veikalus, kuri nav apsild\u0101mi. Bet darb\u0101 ir j\u0101b\u016bt, un darba diena kaut k\u0101d\u0101 veid\u0101 j\u0101nosit. Te p\u0113k\u0161\u0146i divi n\u0101k. Itin steidz\u012bgi, gandr\u012bz pusskrie\u0161us. Jau pa gabalu saprotu, ka tie n\u0101k pie manis. Var\u0113ja redz\u0113t, ka ar\u012b \u010dekas v\u012briem salst. Ko nu atkal vajag, nevar\u0113ju iedom\u0101ties. Lai es t\u016bli\u0146 n\u0101kot l\u012bdzi. “Vai veikals j\u0101nosl\u0113dz?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

N\u0113, nevajagot. Tepat uz \u012bsu br\u012bdi. Pa ce\u013cam pateica, ka esmu nepiecie\u0161ama k\u0101 tulks. Izg\u0101j\u0101m pa v\u0101rtiem, t\u0101l\u0101k pagriez\u0101mies pa labi l\u012bdz Maskavas ielai, kur iek\u0101p\u0101m mikroautobus\u0101. Busi\u0146am logi aizsalu\u0161i ar biezu ledus k\u0101rtu. Tur uz sola, \u010dokur\u0101 sar\u0101vies, s\u0113d\u0113ja k\u0101ds gau\u017e\u0101m no\u017e\u0113lojams rad\u012bjums, zili pel\u0113ku seju, izp\u016bru\u0161iem salmu kr\u0101sas matiem. Mugur\u0101 pl\u0101ni\u0146\u0161 vasaras uzvalci\u0146\u0161, zem \u017eaket\u012btes pl\u0101ns, sa\u0146urc\u012bts krekli\u0146\u0161. Vi\u0146am sala t\u0101 k\u0101 mums nevienam. Man bija pateikts tikai tik daudz, ka z\u0113ni\u0146\u0161, kuram v\u0113l nevar\u0113ja b\u016bt divdesmit gadu, bet kur\u0161, no aukstuma sar\u0101vies, izskat\u012bj\u0101s p\u0113c pusaud\u017ea, nakt\u012b nav bijis uz ku\u0123a. Ku\u0123im bijis r\u012bta agrum\u0101 j\u0101atst\u0101j osta, bet z\u0113na d\u0113\u013c tas v\u0113l tagad nav izg\u0101jis. To visu man \u010dekists past\u0101st\u012bja pa ce\u013cam. Man nebija ne maz\u0101ko \u0161aubu par to, kas taj\u0101 reiz\u0113 notika. \u0160o gad\u012bjumu \u010dekisti bija nol\u0113mu\u0161i izmantot, lai no Norv\u0113\u0123ijas ku\u0123u sabiedr\u012bbas izspiestu naudu ciet\u0101 val\u016bt\u0101 ar katru lieko stundu, kuru ku\u0123is pavada ost\u0101. Ja z\u0113ns no r\u012bta bija aizkav\u0113jis ku\u0123a atie\u0161anu uz div\u0101m stund\u0101m, tad tagad to nevajadz\u012bgi vaz\u0101ja apk\u0101rt mikroautobus\u0101, lai ku\u0123i aiztur\u0113tu kaut l\u012bdz p\u0113cpusdienai. Vismaz parast\u0101, slim\u012bg\u0101 spiega mekl\u0113\u0161ana \u0161eit nebija paredzama. Pieg\u0101jusi nelaim\u012bgajam kl\u0101t, es, cie\u0161i skatoties vi\u0146am ac\u012bs, izteicu br\u012bdin\u0101jumu, lai vi\u0146\u0161 nenosauc nevienu v\u0101rd\u0101, kad es tulko\u0161u jaut\u0101jumus un atbildes. Tad, pagriezusies pret \u010dekistu, teicu: “Jaut\u0101jiet”. “Kur vi\u0146\u0161 ir bijis pag\u0101ju\u0161aj\u0101 nakti?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Amura b\u0101r\u0101.” (Dom\u0101ts restor\u0101ns “Am\u016brs”.) “P\u0113c tam?” “Pie meitenes.” “K\u0101 sauc?” es atkal cie\u0161i skat\u012bjos vi\u0146am ac\u012bs, lai atceras br\u012bdin\u0101jumu. “Nezinu,” vi\u0146\u0161 kautr\u012bgi \u010dukst\u0113ja, un vi\u0146a sazil\u0113ju\u0161\u0101s l\u016bpas dreb\u0113ja. Man bija tik neizsak\u0101mi \u017e\u0113l p\u0101rsalu\u0161\u0101 ze\u0146\u0137a, ka b\u016btu to labpr\u0101t ievedusi uz st\u016bra p\u012br\u0101dzi\u0146u bod\u0113 un nopirkusi p\u0101ris kr\u016bzes karsta buljona ar p\u012br\u0101dzi\u0146iem. Vi\u0146\u0161 jau vairs nevar\u0113ja parun\u0101t. Tagad vi\u0146am lika par katru cenu atcer\u0113ties, pa k\u0101d\u0101m iel\u0101m, uz kuru pusi g\u0101jis un k\u0101 sauc meiteni, pie kuras nakti pavad\u012bjis. Bet puika palika manam br\u012bdin\u0101jumam uztic\u012bgs un atk\u0101rtoja to pa\u0161u: “Nezinu, neatceros.” Lai \u0101tr\u0101k izbeigtu z\u0113na sald\u0113\u0161anu, es vi\u0146am pati pajaut\u0101ju: “Tu varb\u016bt biji par daudz iedz\u0113ris un t\u0101d\u0113\u013c neko neatceries?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“J\u0101,” vi\u0146\u0161 t\u012bri priec\u012bgi izdvesa, atradis attaisnojumu “v\u0101jai atmi\u0146ai”. P\u0101rtulkojusi p\u0113d\u0113jo jaut\u0101jumu, teicu: “Nu laikam viss vajadz\u012bgais noskaidrots. Man b\u016btu laiks iet uz darbu.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

J\u0101, es varot iet – redz\u0113dami, ka nek\u0101 vair\u0101k neuzzin\u0101s, \u010dekisti mani atlaida. Ar paveikto tulko\u0161anu jutos apmierin\u0101ta. Vismaz aiztaup\u012bju liekas nepatik\u0161anas tai mei\u010dai, kura sav\u0101 stulbum\u0101 aizvilkusi pliku ze\u0146\u0137i pie sevis. B\u016btu vismaz pamekl\u0113jusi gl\u012btu, staltu, labi ap\u0123\u0113rbtu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

K\u0101das ned\u0113\u013cas v\u0113l\u0101k iegriezos Jauniel\u0101. Tur bijus\u012b saimniece Velta man \u0161uva da\u017eus ap\u0123\u0113rba gabalus. Mans kakti\u0146\u0161 gaiten\u012b jau bija izdots jaunai sievietei Astrai. Velta mani uzcien\u0101ja ar karstu t\u0113ju, ar\u012b Astra s\u0113d\u0113ja pie galda. Es past\u0101st\u012bju, k\u0101 mani pasauca par tulku sakar\u0101 ar k\u0101da norv\u0113\u0123u j\u016brnieka nokav\u0113\u0161anos uz ku\u0123a. Pateicu visu, k\u0101 bija, te p\u0113k\u0161\u0146i liel\u0101 uztraukum\u0101 man pateic\u0101s Astra par br\u012bdin\u0101jumu nenosaukt v\u0101rdus. Izr\u0101d\u0101s, puisis ir bijis pie Astras un v\u0113l “man\u0101 ni\u0161i\u0146\u0101”. Cik R\u012bga maza, un cik \u0101tri san\u0101k gali kop\u0101! Astrai es stingri piekodin\u0101ju t\u0101das mu\u013c\u0137\u012bbas turpm\u0101k gan nedar\u012bt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Padom\u0101, kas b\u016btu, ja citam – “god\u012bgam” tulkam b\u016btu uztic\u0113ta \u0161\u012b nelaim\u012bg\u0101 pui\u0161e\u013ca lieta.” Nu j\u0101, vi\u0146a esot tikai t\u0101d\u0113\u013c ie\u017e\u0113lojusies, ka \u0101r\u0101 tik auksts, taks\u012btim nebijis naudas un \u0161im nav bijis, kur iet. “Vajadz\u0113ja par\u0101d\u012bt taisn\u0101ko ce\u013cu uz ostu. Vakar\u0101, kad bija iedz\u0113ris, b\u016btu daudz viegl\u0101k tos p\u0101ris kilometrus noskriet nek\u0101 no r\u012bta. Un ja vi\u0146am tagad liek samaks\u0101t tos t\u016bksto\u0161us par ku\u0123a st\u0101v\u0113\u0161anu? Varb\u016bt desmit gadus no savas aldzi\u0146as maks\u0101s. Vai tev nav cilv\u0113ka \u017e\u0113l? Padom\u0101!” Skatoties uz \u0161o j\u0113ra dv\u0113seli Astru, man tie\u0161\u0101m san\u0101ca dusmas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Un varb\u016bt vi\u0146\u0161 jau \u0161odien ir miris no plau\u0161u karso\u0146a!” es v\u0113l piebildu. N\u0113, p\u0101r to vi\u0146a nemaz neuztrauc\u0101s, netaisnoj\u0101s – t\u0101da savdab\u012bga, flegmatiska, vienaldz\u012bga b\u016btne.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

DIVAS ELEONORAS<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Ilg\u0101ku laiku kungi no st\u016bra m\u0101jas, mani ne ar ko neapgr\u016btin\u0101ja, bet Eleonora n\u0101ca vismaz tr\u012bs \u010detras reizes ned\u0113\u013c\u0101. \u012as\u0101 laik\u0101 man k\u013cuva skaidrs, ka ang\u013cu valodu vi\u0146a m\u0101c\u0101s ne tikai savu intere\u0161u d\u0113\u013c vien. Vair\u0101kas reizes vi\u0146ai uz pap\u012bra bija uzrakst\u012bti v\u0101rdi krievu valod\u0101, kuriem vajadz\u0113ja pierakst\u012bt anglisko tulkojumu un kuri nek\u0101d\u0101 zi\u0146\u0101 nav dom\u0101ti vienk\u0101r\u0161\u0101m sarun\u0101m asto\u0146padsmitgad\u012bgai meitenei ar l\u012bdz\u012bga vecuma jaunie\u0161iem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Otrk\u0101rt, var\u0113ja man\u012bt, ka valodu vi\u0146a m\u0101c\u0101s bez intereses, k\u0101d\u0101 noteikt\u0101 uzdevum\u0101. Un dar\u012bt to liek vi\u0146as t\u0113vs, Iek\u0161lietu ministrijas revidents. T\u0101d\u0113\u013c bez aplinkiem es vi\u0146ai reiz pajaut\u0101ju, cik sen vi\u0146a paz\u012bst Sta\u0146islavu Viktorovi\u010du un Vladimiru Ivanovi\u010du. Eleonoras apa\u013c\u0101 seja pietv\u012bka tum\u0161i s\u0101rta, un mongolisk\u0101s, iesl\u012bp\u0101s acis ieplet\u0101s neredz\u0113ti platas. Es zin\u0101ju, ka vi\u0146a to nedr\u012bkst teikt, t\u0101d\u0113\u013c iedro\u0161in\u0101ju vi\u0146u, sac\u012bdama:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Man tu to vari teikt dro\u0161i, jo es vi\u0146us paz\u012bstu ne slikt\u0101k par tevi, citiem gan nesaki. Un es ar\u012b nevienam neteik\u0161u. Tas paliks m\u016bsu starp\u0101.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vi\u0146a man notic\u0113ja un k\u013cuva atkl\u0101ta. Manas aizdomas apstiprin\u0101j\u0101s vis\u0101 piln\u012bb\u0101: vi\u0146a \u0161os kungus pazina jau pirms manis. “Un, ja atgad\u012bsies kaut kas t\u0101ds, par ko tu grib\u0113si vi\u0146iem noklus\u0113t, uz mani vari pa\u013cauties, nekad, nevienam tavus nosl\u0113pumus neizpaud\u012b\u0161u.” Eleonora nu k\u013cuva \u013coti priec\u012bga, zin\u0101dama, ka man var\u0113s uztic\u0113t priekus un b\u0113das, nebaidoties par sek\u0101m. Es savuk\u0101rt jutos apmierin\u0101ta, ka nu biju skaidr\u012bb\u0101, ka no \u0161is meitenes j\u0101sarg\u0101s un katrs v\u0101rds pirms teik\u0161anas j\u0101p\u0101rdom\u0101. Un nebija ilgi j\u0101gaida uz t\u0101d\u0101m reiz\u0113m, kad Eleonoras mute run\u0101ja ne ar saviem v\u0101rdiem, ne ar sav\u0101m dom\u0101m. Provokatoriski jaut\u0101jumi sekoja cits citam. Vien\u0101 t\u0101d\u0101 st\u016bra m\u0101jas re\u017eisora iepriek\u0161 sagatavot\u0101 scen\u0101rij\u0101 izskan\u0113ja jaut\u0101jums, vai es grib\u0113tu aizbraukt prom, uz \u0101rzem\u0113m.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“J\u0101, ar liel\u0101ko prieku, bet tikai ar t\u016bristu v\u012bzu. Palikt nek\u0101d\u0101 gad\u012bjum\u0101 es nev\u0113l\u0113tos.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Bet, ja k\u0101ds \u0101rzemnieks tevi grib\u0113tu apprec\u0113t?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Skatoties, k\u0101ds \u0101rzemnieks. Un ir vajadz\u012bgs ilgs laiks, lai var\u0113tu cilv\u0113ku labi iepaz\u012bt. Nu, j\u0101 k\u0101ds dz\u012bvotu un str\u0101d\u0101tu tepat, tad nav izsl\u0113gta varb\u016bt\u012bba, ka ar t\u0101du var saist\u012bt dz\u012bvi.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0160\u0101das neaugl\u012bgas sarunas m\u016bsu starp\u0101 risin\u0101j\u0101s laiku pa laikam.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vair\u0101kas reizes dom\u0101ju, k\u0101 no Eleonoras atbr\u012bvoties, jo jutu, ka vi\u0146ai ir uzdevums mani izsekot, izspiegot, varb\u016bt pat uzraudz\u012bt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ieg\u0101d\u0101jos akordeonu, un katru reizi, tikko ang\u013cu valodas stunda beidz\u0101s, \u0146\u0113mu akordeonu un s\u0101ku m\u0101c\u012bties tie\u0161i tos gabalus, kuri neparko nepadev\u0101s. Nel\u012bdz\u0113ja Eleonoras l\u016bgumi vingrin\u0101\u0161anos atlikt. St\u016brgalv\u012bgi turpin\u0101ju nej\u0113dz\u012bgo, \u0161ausm\u012bgi k\u013c\u016bdaino akordeona staip\u012b\u0161anu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Neatceros, k\u0101d\u0101 sakar\u012bb\u0101 pie manis s\u0101ka n\u0101kt v\u0113l viena Eleonora, stipri ekscentriska latviete, jau labi p\u0101ri pusm\u016b\u017eam, ko\u0161i melni kr\u0101sotiem, sprogainiem matiem, vienm\u0113r eleganti \u0123\u0113rbta. Es vi\u0146u redz\u0113ju pirmo reizi tad, kad dz\u012bvoju pie Juhana Eriksona.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

K\u0101da mana darba biedrene bija vi\u0146ai izst\u0101st\u012bjusi par mani un Eriksonu. Tad Eleonora n\u0101ca uz manu darbu ievad\u012bt sarunas, lai es no Eriksona atsakoties vi\u0146ai par labu: “J\u016bs v\u0113l esat jauna, j\u016bs v\u0113l atrad\u012bsiet citu, bet man, saprotiet, \u0161is zviedru kungs ir vajadz\u012bgs tagad. Mani vec\u0101ki ir \u013coti veci, vi\u0146i dz\u012bvo Amerik\u0101, un man ir j\u0101tiek pie vi\u0146iem. Es apprec\u0113tos ar Eriksonu un tiktu pie saviem m\u012b\u013cajiem vec\u0101kiem. “<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ar \u0161o st\u0101stu vi\u0146a man visas ausis piek\u016bkoja. Nebija gl\u0101bi\u0146a no \u0161\u012bs uzm\u0101c\u012bg\u0101s sievas. Lai es vi\u0146u ar Eriksonu iepaz\u012bstinot. Teicu, ka man vispirms j\u0101pajaut\u0101, vai vi\u0146\u0161 v\u0113las iepaz\u012bties ar k\u0101du d\u0101mu. Atbilde bija negat\u012bva. Es vi\u0146ai to pateicu. Vi\u0146a, protams, man nenotic\u0113ja. Tad k\u0101du vakaru ap desmitiem kad m\u0113s ar Eriksonu las\u012bj\u0101m av\u012bzes, atskan\u0113ja pie durv\u012bm zvans. Eriksons g\u0101ja atv\u0113rt. Izdzird\u0113jusi sav\u0101du troksni, g\u0101ju paklaus\u012bties, kas notiek. T\u0101 bija Eleonora, kura ar varu m\u0113\u0123in\u0101ja ielauzties Eriksona dz\u012bvokl\u012b. Vi\u0146a sauca piln\u0101 bals\u012b v\u0101ciski: “Es j\u016bs m\u012blu, ielaidiet! L\u016bdzu, l\u016bdzu, ielaidiet!” Eriksons \u013coti korekti, bet dusm\u012bgi vi\u0146ai v\u0101ciski atbild\u0113ja: “Kundze, es j\u016bs nepaz\u012bstu un l\u016bdzu netrauc\u0113jiet mani!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vi\u0146\u0161 p\u016bl\u0113j\u0101s aizv\u0113rt durvis, bet tas vi\u0146am neizdev\u0101s, jo Eleonora bija pasp\u0113jusi ielikt k\u0101ju durv\u012bs. Tad notika neticamais – vi\u0146\u0161 vi\u0146u gr\u016bda! Tik p\u0101rskaitu\u0161os es vi\u0146u nebiju redz\u0113jusi un nevar\u0113ju pat iedom\u0101ties, ka vi\u0146\u0161 sp\u0113tu k\u0101du sievieti gr\u016bst.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vi\u0146a nepadev\u0101s, bet ie\u0137\u0113r\u0101s Eriksona dr\u0113b\u0113s. Mani vi\u0146a neredz\u0113ja, jo es notieko\u0161o v\u0113roju no att\u0101luma, pa durvju spraugu. Tikai tad, kad Eriksons piedraud\u0113ja, ka t\u016bl\u012bt sauks policiju Eleonora padev\u0101s, un vi\u0146\u0161 var\u0113ja aizv\u0113rt durvis.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

M\u0113s \u0161o nepat\u012bkamo starpgad\u012bjumu p\u0101rrun\u0101j\u0101m visu atliku\u0161o vakaru un netik\u0101m gudri, kur vi\u0146a dab\u016bjusi adresi, jo es to vi\u0146ai nebiju devusi. Eriksons man tic\u0113ja. J\u0101dom\u0101, ka vi\u0146a mani bija izsekojusi. T\u0101pat negaid\u012bta, neaicin\u0101ta vi\u0146a ierad\u0101s Veidenbauma iel\u0101, lai man past\u0101st\u012btu, kur un kam redz\u0113jusi manu garo lietussargu, kur\u0161 man bija pirms k\u0101da m\u0113ne\u0161a nozagts. Par to vi\u0146ai pateicos un, aizg\u0101jusi uz nor\u0101d\u012bto adresi T\u0113rbatas iel\u0101, es k\u0101d\u0101 cepuru veikal\u0101 savu lietussargu dab\u016bju v\u0113l reizi m\u016b\u017e\u0101 redz\u0113t, bet sav\u0101 \u012bpa\u0161um\u0101 vairs neatguvu. Velt\u012bgs izr\u0101d\u012bj\u0101s mans zi\u0146ojums milicijai – neierad\u0101s ne t\u0101, kura bija lietussargu nozagusi un p\u0101rdevusi, ne ar\u012b jaun\u0101 \u012bpa\u0161niece.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

T\u0101 nu Eleonora, apzin\u0101dam\u0101s, ka izdar\u012bjusi man pakalpojumu, jo atradusi man nozagto mantu, s\u0101ka mani diezgan regul\u0101ri apciemot. Un atk\u0101rtoj\u0101s tie pa\u0161i b\u0113du st\u0101sti, cik \u013coti vi\u0146ai j\u0101tiek pie vec\u0101kiem. Laikam vec\u0101kiem Amerik\u0101 bija veicies, jo savai meitai tie s\u016bt\u012bja \u013coti v\u0113rt\u012bgus ka\u017eokus un visd\u0101rg\u0101k\u0101s mantas, k\u0101das citi sav\u0113jiem nevar\u0113ja at\u013cauties s\u016bt\u012bt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Teicu, lai pacie\u0161as, gan jau pien\u0101ks diena, kad laid\u012bs braukt pie vec\u0101kiem. Tai pa\u0161\u0101 laik\u0101 dom\u0101ju, kaut nen\u0101ktu vairs mani trauc\u0113t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Reiz, iedama gar Zooveikalu, ieg\u0101ju paskat\u012bties, ko tur p\u0101rdod. Manu uzman\u012bbu piesaist\u012bja dz\u012bva \u010d\u016bska. Cena tikai 22 rub\u013ci. Te man rad\u0101s \u0123eni\u0101la ideja. Ja \u010d\u016bska b\u016bs man\u0101 istab\u0101, Eleonoras, baidoties no r\u0101pu\u013ca, nen\u0101ks. Dom\u0101ts – dar\u012bts. Ieg\u0101d\u0101jos \u010d\u016bsku un priec\u012bga devos uz m\u0101ju. Ko ar akordeonu nepan\u0101cu, ar \u010d\u016bsku pan\u0101cu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pirm\u0101 atn\u0101ca latviete un, tikko istab\u0101 ien\u0101kusi un \u010d\u016bsku ieraudz\u012bjusi, ska\u013ci kliegdama, izmet\u0101s pa durv\u012bm \u0101r\u0101. Kop\u0161 t\u0101s reizes vi\u0146a vairs nav p\u0101r manu slieksni k\u0101ju sp\u0113rusi. Bet ar \u010d\u016bsku sadz\u012bvot t\u0101 vienk\u0101r\u0161i nevar\u0113ju. Vi\u0146ai nakt\u012bs oblig\u0101ti j\u0101lo\u017e\u0146\u0101 pa visiem kaktiem un viss j\u0101apg\u0101\u017e. Par t\u0101du miega trauc\u0113\u0161anu liku izgatavot piem\u0113rotu kr\u0101ti\u0146u un ievietoju \u010d\u016bsku kr\u0101ti\u0146\u0101. Krieviete Eleonora ar\u012b baid\u012bj\u0101s, bet, redz\u0113dama r\u0101puli kr\u0101ti\u0146\u0101 un bailes p\u0101rvar\u0113jusi, turpin\u0101ja n\u0101kt. Man apnika kr\u0101ti\u0146u t\u012br\u012bt, jo smaka nebija cie\u0161ama. P\u0113c da\u017eiem m\u0113ne\u0161iem \u010d\u016bsku atdevu k\u0101dam jauneklim, kur\u0161 to \u013coti grib\u0113ja.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

R\u012bgas polim Janekam bie\u017ei slimoja tante, pie kuras vi\u0146\u0161 dz\u012bvoja. \u0100rsts bija ieteicis k\u0101das amerik\u0101\u0146u z\u0101les. Lai \u0161\u012bs z\u0101les tantei sag\u0101d\u0101tu, Janeks bija iepazinies ar ASV v\u0113stniec\u012bbas \u0101rstu Deividu Lengdonu, bet, nezin\u0101dams ang\u013cu valodu, nevar\u0113ja ar amerik\u0101ni pietiekami labi izskaidroties. Nejau\u0161i saticis mani, Janeks l\u016bdza patulkot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tas notika operas apst\u0101d\u012bjumos pie str\u016bklakas. Kad viss par z\u0101l\u0113m bija izrun\u0101ts, amerik\u0101nis v\u0113l grib\u0113ja ar mani parun\u0101ties. Janeks pateic\u0101s par pal\u012bdz\u012bbu un atst\u0101ja m\u016bs divat\u0101. Run\u0101dami staig\u0101j\u0101m \u0161urp un turp. Amerik\u0101ni \u013coti interes\u0113ja viss, ko es st\u0101st\u012bju par Latviju, k\u0101da t\u0101 bija agr\u0101k un k\u0101da k\u013cuvusi p\u0113c okup\u0101cijas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Aizg\u0101j\u0101m l\u012bdz Doma laukumam. Tur amerik\u0101nis man pajaut\u0101ja, vai es zinot, ka vi\u0146am ir “aste”, kura visu laiku seko.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Bet no “astes” var at\u0161\u016bties, ja pa \u012bstam grib,” es, pa pusei jokodama, iesaucos. “Es tam neticu.” “Pam\u0113\u0123in\u0101sim. \u0160eit ir laukums cilv\u0113ku maz, jo ir vasaras vidus, sv\u0113tdienas p\u0113cpusdiena, visi izbrauku\u0161i. Iesim, l\u016bk, taj\u0101 \u0161aur\u0101 ieli\u0146\u0101 un tad pav\u0113rosim.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Izstaig\u0101j\u0101m visas Vecr\u012bgas \u0161aur\u0101s ieli\u0146as un tik tie\u0161\u0101m – neviens mums nesekoja.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Fantastika,” vi\u0146\u0161 pabr\u012bn\u012bj\u0101s, p\u0101rliecin\u0101jies, ka neseko. L\u012bdz pat tumsai staig\u0101j\u0101m un run\u0101j\u0101m. Vi\u0146\u0161 atzin\u0101s, ka tik pamat\u012bgi neviens neko vi\u0146am nav st\u0101st\u012bjis un ka es vi\u0146am esmu atkl\u0101jusi lietas, p\u0101r kur\u0101m vi\u0146\u0161 nekad nebija dzird\u0113jis, lai gan jau divus gadus nodz\u012bvojis Maskav\u0101 ASV v\u0113stniec\u012bb\u0101. Es savuk\u0101rt priec\u0101jos, atradusi tik paciet\u012bgu klaus\u012bt\u0101ju un v\u0113l amerik\u0101ni.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Uzzin\u0101jis, ka es br\u012bvaj\u0101 laik\u0101 gleznoju, Deivids grib\u0113ja manus darbus redz\u0113t. Teicu, ka nek\u0101 sevi\u0161\u0137a tur nav, ko redz\u0113t. “Bet tom\u0113r.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u0101rvar\u0113jusi kautr\u012bbu, teicu, lai n\u0101k ar\u012b. Bet lai necer ieraudz\u012bt \u012bstas modernas gleznas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ieg\u0101jusi k\u0101p\u0146u telp\u0101, sastingu, jo paman\u012bju, ka pie man\u0101m durv\u012bm k\u0101ds tums\u0101 st\u0101v un, mani izdzirdis, saros\u0101s. Grib\u0113ju jau iet atpaka\u013c \u0101r\u0101 uz ielas, kad saklaus\u012bju Eleonoras balsi:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Hel\u0113na, t\u0101 esmu es.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Tevis tik man \u0161ovakar tr\u016bka!” grib\u0113ju iesaukties, bet noklus\u0113ju.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u0101ris min\u016b\u0161u laik\u0101 viss noskaidroj\u0101s. \u0160\u012b dull\u0101 sku\u0137e par savu naudu nopirkusi aviobi\u013ceti, aizbraukusi uz Maskavu, tur k\u0101dam prec\u0113tam v\u012bram uzd\u0101vin\u0101jusi savu nevain\u012bbu, kad tam no r\u012bta sieva piezvan\u012bjusi, \u0161is Eleonoru atd\u0101vin\u0101jis savam draugam, un nu vi\u0146a piesmieta, pagalam nelaim\u012bga, baidoties r\u0101d\u012bties m\u0101tei ac\u012bs. Ar visu kofer\u012bti s\u0113d\u0113jusi pie man\u0101m durv\u012bm un gaid\u012bjusi, kad p\u0101rn\u0101k\u0161u.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u0113c negul\u0113t\u0101m div\u0101m diennakt\u012bm Eleonora iekrita man\u0101 gult\u0101 un uz vietas aizmiga, nemaz nepajaut\u0101jusi, vai man nav iebildumu. Un, pret\u0113ji savam ieradumam vai uzdevumam, pat nepainteres\u0113j\u0101s, kas ir kop\u0101 ar mani. Deivids bija gara auguma tum\u0161matis, labi veidotiem sejas pantiem; ar platiem pleciem, \u012bs\u0101k izsakoties – \u013coti izskat\u012bgs v\u012brietis. Da\u017eos teikumos paskaidroju, k\u0101d\u0113\u013c Eleonora baid\u0101s iet uz sav\u0101m m\u0101j\u0101m un izteicu no\u017e\u0113lu par t\u0101du sagad\u012b\u0161anos. Deivids bez ceremonij\u0101m aps\u0113d\u0101s uz gr\u012bd\u0101s tepi\u0137a un atspieda muguru pret tahtu, uz kuras \u0161\u0146\u0101ca gul\u0113t\u0101ja. Vi\u0146\u0161 aicin\u0101ja mani, lai es sekoju vi\u0146a piem\u0113ram. Es gan nekad dz\u012bv\u0113 uz gr\u012bdas v\u0113l nebiju s\u0113d\u0113jusi, bet, ja jau smalks amerik\u0101nis t\u0101 dara, k\u0101d\u0113\u013c lai es to nevar\u0113tu?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

S\u0113d\u0113j\u0101m un t\u0113rz\u0113j\u0101m. Man pat nebija, ar ko viesi uzcien\u0101t, jo vair\u0101kus m\u0113ne\u0161us nevienu netiku aicin\u0101jusi. T\u0101 amerik\u0101nis palika bez vakari\u0146\u0101m. Tas bija pirmais \u0101rzemnieks, kas ar lielu interesi klaus\u012bj\u0101s mani, un ik pa laikam v\u0113l uzdeva papildjaut\u0101jumus. Visu nakti vien\u0101 laid\u0101 b\u016btu gr\u016bti run\u0101t, ja pa starpu neb\u016btu p\u0101rmiju\u0161i kv\u0113lus sk\u016bpstus. T\u0101 bija vis\u0101d\u0101 zi\u0146\u0101 neaizmirstama nakts! No r\u012bta ap asto\u0146iem negaid\u012bta ierad\u0101s Eleonoras m\u0101te. Gr\u016bti izskaidrot, k\u0101d\u0113\u013c vi\u0146a savu meitu mekl\u0113ja pie manis. Ar lielu troksni vi\u0146a ierad\u0101s, bet, sapratusi, ka sve\u0161\u0101 m\u0101j\u0101 klaig\u0101t nav smuki, atvainoj\u0101s un aizveda meitu m\u0101j\u0101s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pabrokastoju\u0161i piena restor\u0101n\u0101, uz ielas aptur\u0113ju\u0161i taksi, aizbrauc\u0101m uz R\u012bgas j\u016brmalu. Peld\u0113j\u0101mies, sau\u013coj\u0101mies, un es turpin\u0101ju st\u0101st\u012bt visu, visu par komunistu briesmu darbiem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

V\u0113l\u0101k, ejot pa ielu, Deivids jaut\u0101ja? “Un kam pieder \u0161\u012bs vasarn\u012bcas?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Agr\u0101k t\u0101s pieder\u0113ja latvie\u0161u cilv\u0113kiem, da\u013ca biju\u0161o \u012bpa\u0161nieku deport\u0113ti uz Sib\u012briju, bet da\u013ca dz\u012bvo trimd\u0101 pie jums Amerik\u0101 un citur pasaul\u0113. Pameta m\u0101jas ar visu iedz\u012bvi un b\u0113ga no komunistu bend\u0113m. Tagad taj\u0101s dz\u012bvo un priec\u0101jas krievi, jo liel\u0101kaj\u0101s ir ier\u012bkoti atp\u016btas nami ar \u013coti ska\u013cu m\u016bziku, jo nami \u012bsten\u012bb\u0101 nekalpo atp\u016btai.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Atpaka\u013c brauc\u0101m ar elektrisko vilcienu pavisam tuk\u0161\u0101 vagon\u0101. Var\u0113j\u0101m br\u012bvi run\u0101ties un br\u012bvi sk\u016bpst\u012bties – t\u0101ds komforts! K\u0101 lai notic, ka okup\u0113t\u0101 padomju zem\u0113 nav br\u012bv\u012bbas?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Atgriez\u0101mies v\u0113lreiz man\u0101 istab\u0101 Veidenbauma iel\u0101. \u0160oreiz lomas main\u012bj\u0101s. Run\u0101ja Deivids, es klaus\u012bjos.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Redzi,” vi\u0146\u0161 teica. “Es tevi \u013coti labpr\u0101t apprec\u0113tu un aizvestu tu sev l\u012bdzi uz ASV. Tur m\u0113s kop\u0101 padz\u012bvotu un p\u0101rliecin\u0101tos, cik piem\u0113roti viens otram esam. Ja mums labi saskan\u0113tu, var\u0113tu palikt kop\u0101, ja n\u0113, es tevi apg\u0101d\u0101tu ar dz\u012bvokli un darbu, un tu var\u0113tu dz\u012bvot t\u0101dos apst\u0101k\u013cos, k\u0101dus tu b\u016btu peln\u012bjusi.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Es klaus\u012bjos k\u0101 sapn\u012b, tikai nodom\u0101ju: “Vai t\u0101da laime iesp\u0113jama?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Bet diem\u017e\u0113l nekas no t\u0101 neizn\u0101k, Deivids turpin\u0101ja: Tad vi\u0146\u0161 iz\u0146\u0113ma no kabatas da\u017e\u0101dus dokumentus un deva man pa vienam pa\u0161ai las\u012bt. Visu nakti un dienu biju dom\u0101jusi, ka esmu daktera sabiedr\u012bb\u0101, kas t\u0101 ar\u012b bija, bet pap\u012bros izlas\u012bju v\u0113l ko citu – Amerikas Savienoto Valstu milit\u0101r\u0101 ata\u0161eja asistents. Un to vi\u0146\u0161 tr\u012bsdesmit viena gada vecum\u0101 sasniedzis!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tad, l\u016bk, k\u0101d\u0113\u013c vi\u0146\u0161 zin\u0101ja, ka vi\u0146am visur seko “aste”! V\u0113l k\u0101du pap\u012bru vi\u0146\u0161 man lika sevi\u0161\u0137i r\u016bp\u012bgi izlas\u012bt. Tas bija parakst\u012bts dokuments, ka vi\u0146\u0161 p\u0113c ASV v\u0113stniec\u012bb\u0101 Maskav\u0101 nokalpotajiem diviem gadiem atgrie\u017eas Kalifornij\u0101. Uz jaut\u0101jumiem, k\u0101di \u0123imenes locek\u013ci brauc l\u012bdzi, bija ierakst\u012btas atbildes: sievas – nav, b\u0113rnu – nav.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ja \u0161\u012b anketa neb\u016btu izpild\u012bta, var\u0113tu daudz kas main\u012bties. Cik liktenis var b\u016bt ne\u017e\u0113l\u012bgs! Bez tam vi\u0146\u0161 man \u013coti patika. Vis\u0101 m\u016b\u017e\u0101 t\u0101du v\u012brieti var sastapt tikai vienu vien\u012bgu reizi. \u0160\u012b vien\u012bg\u0101 reize pien\u0101ca, bet palikt kop\u0101 nav lemts, un tikai t\u0101d\u0113\u013c, ka man ir j\u0101dz\u012bvo okup\u0113t\u0101 zem\u0113.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tikai p\u0113c divdesmit gadiem, kad jau dz\u012bvoju \u0145ujork\u0101, es var\u0113ju vi\u0146am aizrakst\u012bt un pazi\u0146ot, ka tom\u0113r esmu Amerik\u0101. Atbild\u0113 uzzin\u0101ju, ka vi\u0146am ir \u0123imene, k\u0101 cit\u0101di, bet ar pirmo teikumu vi\u0146\u0161 pateic\u0101s Dievam, ka beidzot esmu tikusi prom no okup\u0113tas zemes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u0113c tr\u012bsdesmit stundu promb\u016btnes Deivids Lengdons atgriez\u0101s viesn\u012bc\u0101 “R\u012bga”.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

K\u0101du m\u0113nesi p\u0113c Lengdona aizbrauk\u0161anas vizin\u0101jos ar ku\u0123\u012bti “Ra\u0137ete” pa Daugavu. Tur nejau\u0161i satiku D\u017eonu Vesmani, kur\u0161 man past\u0101st\u012bja satrauco\u0161as zi\u0146as par visliel\u0101kaj\u0101m nepatik\u0161an\u0101m, k\u0101das atgad\u012bju\u0161\u0101s vi\u0146a darb\u0101 “Int\u016brist\u0101”. Daudz netr\u016bka, ka pazaud\u0113tu darbu, ja diplom\u0101ts neb\u016btu atradies savlaic\u012bgi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pirms apm\u0113ram m\u0113ne\u0161a tie\u0161i no “R\u012bgas” viesn\u012bcas esot nolaup\u012bts amerik\u0101\u0146u diplom\u0101ts. Trauksme bijusi izzi\u0146ota pa visu R\u012bgu. Mekl\u0113ju\u0161i veselu nakti un dienu, bet bez pan\u0101kumiem. Bet tad otr\u0101s dienas vakar\u0101 diplom\u0101ts negaidot pats ieradies viesn\u012bc\u0101 – sveiks un vesels, bez redzam\u0101m vardarb\u012bbas paz\u012bm\u0113m. Pie tam vi\u0146am tot\u0101li bijusi zudusi atmi\u0146a, vi\u0146\u0161 pat nav var\u0113jis uz kartes par\u0101d\u012bt virzienu, kur bijis, kad “Int\u016brists” (lasi VDK) grib\u0113ja iev\u0101kt inform\u0101ciju. Pie tam pazudis gai\u0161\u0101 dienas laik\u0101, k\u0101 \u016bden\u012b iekritis.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Tas laikam pirmais gad\u012bjums, kop\u0161 tu str\u0101d\u0101 “Int\u016brist\u0101”, es ar l\u012bdzj\u016bt\u012bbas pieska\u0146u pajaut\u0101ju. “J\u0101, pirmais gan, bet j\u0101v\u0113las, lai b\u016btu p\u0113d\u0113jais.” “Varb\u016bt bija piedz\u0113ries?” t\u012b\u0161\u0101m grib\u0113ju v\u0113l ko izdzird\u0113t par Deividu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“N\u0113, dz\u0113ris nebija nemaz, diplom\u0101ti nepiedzeras.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

V\u0113l\u0101k, visu p\u0101rdom\u0101jot un atceeroties, vair\u0101kk\u0101rt pasmaid\u012bju un nopriec\u0101jos, ka viss noticis k\u0101 pasak\u0101. Un tom\u0113r vienu k\u013c\u016bdu Deivids bija pie\u013c\u0101vis. Vi\u0146\u0161 man ats\u016bt\u012bja divas v\u0113stules rokrakst\u0101 un ar parakstu “Deivids”. Bet m\u0101kslas gr\u0101matu un paku no Kalifornijas s\u016bt\u012bja gan ar citu v\u0101rdu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Biju nol\u0113musi dz\u012bvot nosl\u0113gti. Nekur neg\u0101ju, tikai uz darbu un no darba m\u0101j\u0101s. Klaus\u012bjos m\u016bziku, ad\u012bju un las\u012bju.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

K\u0101d\u0101 v\u0113l\u0101 vakar\u0101 ierad\u0101s Eleonora ar \u013coti elegantu vec\u0101ku kungu. J\u0101, ko nu dar\u012bt, ar \u0161o kungu Eleonora sarun\u0101ties neprata. Tas bija Kurts Policers, k\u0101das lielas Francijas firmas p\u0101rst\u0101vis. Firma nodarboj\u0101s ar aug\u013cu un gar\u0161vielu importu – eksportu. Marok\u0101 uzpirktos apels\u012bnus un mandeles ar ku\u0123iem veda uz Odesas, \u013be\u0146ingradas un R\u012bgas ost\u0101m. Regul\u0101ri Policera kungam biju\u0161as dar\u012b\u0161anas Odes\u0101. R\u012bg\u0101 \u0161\u012b bija pirm\u0101 reize. Ar mani iepaz\u012bstoties, Policera kungs izr\u0101d\u012bja lielu saj\u016bsmu, jo vi\u0146am v\u0101cu valoda nebija slikt\u0101ka par fran\u010du, un, k\u0101 v\u0113l\u0101k izr\u0101d\u012bj\u0101s, es vi\u0146am var\u0113ju daudz pal\u012bdz\u0113t. Katru ku\u0123a kravu p\u0101rbaud\u012bja komisija no R\u012bgas tirdzniec\u012bbas pal\u0101tas, un visus kravas pie\u0146em\u0161anas aktus izsniedza Policera kungam krievu valod\u0101. Bet Policers krievu valod\u0101 neko nesaprata. Nolicis dokumentus man priek\u0161\u0101, vi\u0146\u0161 l\u016bdza, lai es tos iztulkoju. Tur, piem\u0113ram, bija teikums, ka mandeles esot tik un tik procentu r\u016bgtas un sasistas. “T\u0101 nav taisn\u012bba!” vi\u0146\u0161 iesauc\u0101s. “Vi\u0146i grib nosist cenu!” Lai ar\u012b kas un k\u0101 b\u016btu sarakst\u012bts, vi\u0146am par visu vajadz\u0113ja telegraf\u0113t uz Par\u012bzi. Telegr\u0101f\u0101 ar\u012b mana pal\u012bdz\u012bba bija nepiecie\u0161ama: \u0160\u0101das sadarb\u012bbas ar Policera kungu mums bija katru reizi, kad vi\u0146\u0161 ierad\u0101s R\u012bg\u0101 apm\u0113ram 2-3 reizes gad\u0101. Par pakalpojumiem sa\u0146\u0113mu smar\u017eas un \u0161okol\u0101di. Vien\u0101 t\u0101d\u0101 reiz\u0113 es Policera kungam iedevu tr\u012bsdesmit piecus dol\u0101rus un pal\u016bdzu, lai vi\u0146\u0161 par tiem man nop\u0113rk visl\u0113t\u0101ko neilona ka\u017eoku. Cer\u0113ju, ka vi\u0146\u0161 ka\u017eoku atved\u012bs pats, bet vi\u0146\u0161 to ats\u016bt\u012bja pa pastu un neb\u016bt ne pa\u0161u l\u0113t\u0101ko. Ka\u017eoks bija skaist\u0101 sudrabaini pel\u0113k\u0101 kr\u0101s\u0101, un par \u0161o ka\u017eoku v\u0113l b\u016bs runa st\u016bra m\u0101j\u0101. K\u0101d\u0101 cit\u0101 reiz\u0113 Eleonora atskr\u0113ja viena un lika man \u0101tri sa\u0123\u0113rbties, jo net\u0101lu no manas m\u0101jas vi\u0146a atst\u0101jusi uz ielas st\u016bra divus inteli\u0123entus somus. Vi\u0146i esot nodom\u0101ju\u0161i iet uz restor\u0101nu, bet lai Eteonora pa\u0146emot l\u012bdzi k\u0101du draudzeni. Nevar\u0113ju iz\u0161\u0137irties – iet vai neiet, bet Eleonora neatlaid\u0101s. Aizg\u0101ju. Kafejn\u012bc\u0101 “Luna” toreiz sp\u0113l\u0113ja meite\u0146u or\u0137estris. Viens soms \u013coti daudz t\u0113rz\u0113ja un jut\u0101s p\u0101r\u0101ks par otru, kur\u0161 bija kluss un attur\u012bgs. Bet attur\u012bgais Kurts Slote zin\u0101ja vair\u0101kas valodas un str\u0101d\u0101ja uz ku\u0123a par telegr\u0101fistu. P\u0113c vakari\u0146\u0101m nedaudz padejoj\u0101m. Kurts pal\u016bdza manu adresi un apsol\u012bj\u0101s rakst\u012bt. Vi\u0146\u0161 savu sol\u012bjumu tur\u0113ja, rakst\u012bja man bie\u017ei un katru reizi cit\u0101 valod\u0101! Vien\u0101 reiz\u0113 pat sp\u0101niski, un man bija j\u0101\u0146em pal\u012bg\u0101 v\u0101rdn\u012bca, lai izlas\u012btu jauko v\u0113stuli ar kv\u0113liem m\u012blas apliecin\u0101jumiem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u0113c k\u0101da pusgada Kurts Slote, atkal ieradies R\u012bg\u0101, uzmekl\u0113ja mani viens, bez draugiem un sag\u0101d\u0101ja man pavisam necer\u0113tu p\u0101rsteigumu, l\u016bgdams manu roku un sirdi. Mans lielais sapnis bija piepild\u012bjies, un tik p\u0113k\u0161\u0146i! Par Kurtu biju bie\u017ei dom\u0101jusi, kad atbild\u0113ju uz v\u0113stul\u0113m, bet pr\u0101t\u0101 nen\u0101ca, ka \u0161\u012b sarakste var\u0113tu beigties ar bildin\u0101jumu un laul\u012bb\u0101m! Vi\u0146\u0161 bija gara auguma, \u013coti izskat\u012bgs, tr\u012bs gadus jaun\u0101ks par mani. Otr\u0101 dien\u0101 p\u0113c bildin\u0101juma satik\u0101mies no r\u012bta, lai dotos uz dzimtsarakstu noda\u013cu. Non\u0101cu visai ne\u0113rt\u0101 situ\u0101cij\u0101, kad dzimtsarakstu noda\u013c\u0101 man bija j\u0101paskaidro n\u0101ciena iemesls: “\u0160is pilsonis ir soms, un m\u0113s v\u0113lamies salaul\u0101ties.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Vai vi\u0146am ir dokumenti?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Teicu Kurtam, ka prasa dokumentus: j\u0101, vi\u0146am bija Somijas pase, kuru vi\u0146\u0161 uzr\u0101d\u012bja.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Vai vi\u0146am ir uztur\u0113\u0161an\u0101s at\u013cauja?” Te es apjuku un nezin\u0101ju, ko atbild\u0113t, t\u0101d\u0113\u013c pajaut\u0101ju, kas ir uztur\u0113\u0161an\u0101s at\u013cauja, jo l\u012bgavainis ir ieradies ar ku\u0123i.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Ja vi\u0146\u0161 dz\u012bvo uz ku\u0123a, tad vi\u0146am nav uztur\u0113\u0161an\u0101s at\u013caujas, jo somu ku\u0123is pieder Somijai. Ar \u0101rzemnieku bez uztur\u0113\u0161an\u0101s at\u013caujas laul\u012bbu nere\u0123istr\u0113.” dzimtsarakstu noda\u013cas darbiniece noskald\u012bja skaidr\u0101 krievu valod\u0101! “Ejam prom,” teicu Kurtam. “Mums te nav ko dar\u012bt. T\u0101 krieviete, iebraukusi man\u0101 zem\u0113, ir noteic\u0113ja, ar ko man ir ties\u012bbas laul\u0101ties, ar ko n\u0113.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kurts \u013coti br\u012bn\u012bj\u0101s, k\u0101 tas var b\u016bt un k\u0101d\u0113\u013c m\u0113s nevaram salaul\u0101ties. Pag\u0101ja ilg\u0101ks laiks, kam\u0113r es vi\u0146am visu izskaidroju. Vienalga, vi\u0146am gr\u016bti n\u0101c\u0101s visu saprast. Teicu: “L\u016bk, t\u0101 ir padomju \u012bsten\u012bba un parad\u012bze, k\u0101das nav citur.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

B\u0113d\u012bgi un skumji m\u0113s pavad\u012bj\u0101m dienu, staig\u0101dami pa bulv\u0101riem un parkiem. Ieg\u0101j\u0101m restor\u0101n\u0101, un tur Kurts pirmo reizi sav\u0101 m\u016b\u017e\u0101 piedz\u0113r\u0101s… Bija iemesls.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Eleonorai neko par \u0161o g\u0101jienu nest\u0101st\u012bju, bet tas nenoz\u012bm\u0113ja, ka neviens cits to neb\u016btu zin\u0101jis, lai gan man nekad neviens neko neatg\u0101din\u0101ja. Bet varb\u016bt ar\u012b neuzzin\u0101ja.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JAUNI UZTRAUKUMI<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Ilg\u0101ku laiku neviens no st\u016bra m\u0101jas mani nebija trauc\u0113jis.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jau nodom\u0101ju, ka varb\u016bt mani aizmirsu\u0161i un atradu\u0161i piem\u0113rot\u0101kus kandid\u0101tus ar lab\u0101m zin\u0101\u0161an\u0101m sve\u0161valod\u0101s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bet izr\u0101d\u012bj\u0101s, ka velns savus upurus tik viegli nepalai\u017e. \u0160oreiz vairs ne divi, bet tr\u012bs v\u012bri ierad\u0101s, lai mani vestu pie pr\u0101ta. Tie bija: Sta\u0146islavs Viktorovi\u010ds, Vladimirs Ivanovi\u010ds un v\u0113l viens Vladimirs, \u013coti smaid\u012bgs, gara auguma, izskat\u012bgs v\u012brietis. S\u0101kum\u0101 run\u0101ja gl\u012btais, smaid\u012bgais, p\u0113c principa: smukiem v\u012brie\u0161iem pie sieviet\u0113m lab\u0101ki pan\u0101kumi. \u012asi un kodol\u012bgi. P\u0113c neliela ievada man tika pied\u0101v\u0101ta galvu reibino\u0161a karjera. Mani sagatavo\u0161ot darbam k\u0101dam padomju konsul\u0101tam \u0101rzem\u0113s. Vi\u0146i man do\u0161ot visus nepiecie\u0161amos ieteikumus, Maskav\u0101 j\u0101nok\u0101rto tikai formalit\u0101tes. Viss tik vienk\u0101r\u0161i, k\u0101 p\u0101rlauzt s\u0113rkoci\u0146u. Bet manu pretest\u012bbu vi\u0146i nep\u0101rlauz\u012bs ne ar ko.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Es klaus\u012bjos t\u0101, it k\u0101 tas viss uz mani neattiektos. \u013b\u0101vu, lai run\u0101 vien. Un tad n\u0101ca galvenais. Lai tiktu darb\u0101 \u0101rzemju konsul\u0101t\u0101, no manis vajadz\u012bgs tikai viens mazs, interesants pakalpojums. S\u0101ku klaus\u012bties uzman\u012bg\u0101k.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u0113c ned\u0113\u013cas R\u012bg\u0101 ierad\u012b\u0161oties k\u0101ds \u0101rzemju zin\u0101tnieks. K\u0101ds mani ar vi\u0146u iepaz\u012bstin\u0101\u0161ot. Tad man vi\u0146\u0161 j\u0101atved uz m\u0101ju un j\u0101ievilina gult\u0101. Tur vi\u0146am j\u0101b\u016bt pusplikam, man ar\u012b, nu, es varot b\u016bt apak\u0161ve\u013c\u0101. \u012astaj\u0101 br\u012bdi ar savu atsl\u0113gu ierad\u012b\u0161oties “mans v\u012brs”, kuru t\u0113los smaid\u012bgais Vladimirs. Tad vi\u0146\u0161 b\u016b\u0161ot dusm\u012bgs un sa\u0161utum\u0101 mani ar puspliko \u0101rzemnieku nofotograf\u0113\u0161ot. Un tas viss. Biju bezgala sa\u0161utusi un teicu, ka tik rieb\u012bgos dar\u012bjumos nekad nepiedal\u012b\u0161os un lai turpm\u0101k ar mani par t\u0101d\u0101m liet\u0101m nerun\u0101. Sapratu, ka t\u0101du fotouz\u0146\u0113mumu dro\u0161i vien Maskavas \u010deka pas\u016bt\u012bjusi \u0161ant\u0101\u017eas nol\u016bkam.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Velt\u012bgi vi\u0146i t\u0113r\u0113ja laiku, m\u0113\u0123in\u0101dami mani p\u0101rliecin\u0101t, ka man no t\u0101 nek\u0101s slikts nenotik\u0161ot un t\u0101 es tikai pakalpo\u0161ot padomju valsts interes\u0113m.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jutu, ka nevaru savald\u012bties, uzlecu k\u0101j\u0101s un iesaucos: “Es ien\u012bstu padomju varu!” Vi\u0146i gan prata savald\u012bties. Sta\u0146islavs Viktorovi\u010ds tikai pajaut\u0101ja, vai es to varu uzrakst\u012bt ar\u012b uz pap\u012bra.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“J\u0101, protams, k\u0101d\u0113\u013c ne!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Man nolika priek\u0161\u0101 t\u012bru lapu, uz kuras es tikko teikto uzrakst\u012bju pamat\u012bgi lieliem burtiem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Parakstu ar\u012b.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“J\u0101, l\u016bdzu, te ir paraksts!” Pa\u0146\u0113mu\u0161i lapu, visi tr\u012bs klus\u0113dami aizg\u0101ja. Otr\u0101 dien\u0101 es uz \u010detr\u0101m dien\u0101m aizbraucu pie pazi\u0146\u0101m uz laukiem. Kad atgriezos, pie st\u016bra sastapu s\u0113tnieci. Uztraukta vi\u0146a man past\u0101st\u012bja, ka es esot apzagta, logs izsists, sl\u0113\u0123us un durvis mili\u010di aizz\u012bmogoju\u0161i, es pati nedr\u012bkstot atv\u0113rt. Lai nu ejot uz miliciju, vi\u0146i mani ielaid\u012b\u0161ot. Milicijas darbinieki pierakst\u012bja visu, kas nozagts. Visas dr\u0113bes no skapja bija prom. Milicija vain\u012bgos neatrada. Iestikloju logu un gul\u0113ju ar cirvi zem spilvena, ja k\u0101ds l\u012bd\u012bs pa logu, cirt\u012b\u0161u pa rok\u0101m. Bet ilgi neizn\u0101ca gul\u0113t ar cirvi zem spilvena.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pien\u0101ca v\u0113stule no Permas apgabala, ka man divu ned\u0113\u013cu laik\u0101 no istabas j\u0101izv\u0101cas, jo saimniece braucot atpaka\u013c. Divu gadu viet\u0101 nodz\u012bvoju knapi vienu. Laikam biju vain\u012bga, jo biju p\u0101rk\u0101pusi sp\u0113les noteikumus. Ko nu dar\u012bt? K\u0101 divu ned\u0113\u013cu laik\u0101 atrast citu pajumti? Taj\u0101 reiz\u0113 izpal\u012bdz\u0113ja Eleonora. Vi\u0146ai bija draudzene Rita Platonova, pulkve\u017ea meita. Pats pulkvedis Platonovs gul\u0113ja sav\u0101 tr\u012bsistabu dz\u012bvokl\u012b \u013be\u0146ina iel\u0101 slims ar v\u0113zi. Ritas m\u0101te str\u0101d\u0101ja kosm\u0113tikas kabinet\u0101, bet meita dauz\u012bj\u0101s apk\u0101rt pa kafejn\u012bc\u0101m dien\u0101, pa restor\u0101niem nakt\u012bs. Slimajam pulkvedim bija nepiecie\u0161ama kop\u0113ja. Es piekritu, jo nebija citas izv\u0113les. V\u0113l man pulkve\u017ea sieva lika par manu naudu nopirkt autokravu malkas. Malka j\u0101sanes pagraba, un dz\u012bvokl\u012b j\u0101kurina divas kr\u0101snis. Visam piekritu un pild\u012bju visus kalpones pien\u0101kumus, t\u012br\u012bju dz\u012bvokli, mazg\u0101ju traukus un ve\u013cu. Ziema togad bija auksta, un pirm\u0101 st\u0101va dz\u012bvokli nevar\u0113ju vien k\u0101rt\u012bgi piekurin\u0101t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Visaukst\u0101k\u0101 bija pirm\u0101 istaba, kur\u0101 es gul\u0113ju. P\u0113c k\u0101da m\u0113ne\u0161a pulkvedis Platonovs nomira, bet mani kalpones viet\u0101 par pajumti patur\u0113ja. No parad\u012bzes izraid\u012bta biju nok\u013cuvusi tie\u0161i ell\u0113. P\u0113c t\u0113va n\u0101ves Rita, kurai toreiz bija divdesmit divi gadi, p\u0101rv\u0113rta dz\u012bvokli gar Dantes elli. Dien\u0101, kam\u0113r m\u0101te darb\u0101, Rita iz\u012br\u0113ja virtuvi k\u0101r\u0161u sp\u0113lma\u0146iem, bet savu gu\u013camistabu p\u0101r\u012b\u0161iem. Vakaros jauni cilv\u0113ki n\u0101ca un g\u0101ja, pie tam katrs kaut ko nozaga. Reiz restor\u0101n\u0101 Astorija Rita bija p\u0101rdevusi mani par kilogramu konfekt\u0113m “L\u0101c\u012btis”, p\u0113c tam pirc\u0113ju atveda m\u0101j\u0101s un pieveda pie gultas, kur\u0101 es gul\u0113ju.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sapratusi, kas notiek, izmetu pirc\u0113ju pa durv\u012bm, piedraudot ar miliciju. Janv\u0101ra beig\u0101s ap se\u0161iem no r\u012bta atkal klauv\u0113ja un zvan\u012bja pie durv\u012bm. No VDK bija ieradu\u0161ies pie manis ar krat\u012b\u0161anas orderi. Pa\u0146\u0113ma veselu maisu literat\u016bras, to pa\u0161u, kuru biju pa ilg\u0101ku laiku sakr\u0101jusi un kuru Veidenbauma iel\u0101 neviens neaiztika. Tur bija vair\u0101ki Readers Digest \u017eurn\u0101l\u012b\u0161i, daudz da\u017e\u0101du valstu modes \u017eurn\u0101lu, k\u0101 ar\u012b Holivudas kinozvaig\u017e\u0146u tenku \u017eurn\u0101li. Pa\u0146\u0113ma ar\u012b visas gr\u0101matas ang\u013cu, v\u0101cu un zviedru valod\u0101, kur\u0101s nebija centr\u0101l\u0101 antikvari\u0101ta z\u012bmogi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sav\u0101di, ka m\u0101te un meita nemaz neuztrauc\u0101s, ka vi\u0146u dz\u012bvokl\u012b ierad\u0101s krat\u012bt\u0101ji, ta\u010du zin\u0101ju, ka vi\u0146as tur nebija vainojamas. Da\u017eas dienas v\u0113l\u0101k Ritas draugi man atkal nozaga vair\u0101kus ap\u0123\u0113rba gabalus. \u0100tri sav\u0101cu atliku\u0161\u0101s mantas, m\u0113beles bija novietotas pagrab\u0101, malkas \u0161\u0137\u016bni, piezvan\u012bju R\u012bgas ekspresim, lai atbrauc ar kravas ma\u0161\u012bnu. Biju nol\u0113musi braukt pie t\u0113va. Bet neveic\u0101s. T\u0113va nebija m\u0101j\u0101s, un sieviete, kura neleg\u0101li tur uztur\u0113j\u0101s, man neatv\u0113ra durvis. \u0160oferis, nevar\u0113dams atbr\u012bvoties no kravas, k\u013cuva nepaciet\u012bgs un pav\u0113l\u0113ja man, lai ta\u010du es nosaucot adresi, kur kravu izkraut. Nevar\u0113dama \u0101trum\u0101 nevienu adresi nosaukt, liku, lai brauc uz Doma laukumu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Atcer\u0113jos, ka ap Doma bazn\u012bcu uzcelta augsta d\u0113\u013cu s\u0113ta un ka s\u0113tai ir neaizsl\u0113gti plati v\u0101rti. Cer\u0113ju, ka tur var\u0113\u0161u dro\u0161i p\u0101rlaist nakti, bet no r\u012bta var\u0113tu zvan\u012bt visiem paz\u012bstamiem varb\u016bt k\u0101ds zin\u0101s k\u0101du pagrabu vai b\u0113ni\u0146us, kur man atrast patv\u0113rumu. Kas \u0161oferim par b\u0113du, brauc, kur liek. Par laimi, aukst\u0101 febru\u0101ra p\u0113cpusdien\u0101 Doma laukum\u0101 cilv\u0113ku tikpat k\u0101 nebija. Viens v\u012brietis – latvietis un p\u0101ris sievietes, gar\u0101m ejot, gan pabr\u012bn\u012bj\u0101s, redzot, ka m\u0113beles, gleznas un koferi tiek izkrauti Doma laukum\u0101 pie d\u0113\u013cu s\u0113tas. Teicu, ka man sav\u0101 dzimtaj\u0101 zem\u0113 vairs nav, kur dz\u012bvot, bet krieviem ir. Vi\u0146i aizg\u0101ja bez koment\u0101riem. Visu savu mantu novietoju aiz s\u0113ta. Tahtu man \u0161oferis pal\u012bdz\u0113ja novietot t\u0101, lai es uz t\u0101s var\u0113tu gul\u0113t. Turpat blakus novietoju gr\u012bdas lampu, akordeon\u0101 kasti un visu p\u0101r\u0113jo. Man bija vair\u0101kas segas un p\u0113lis, ar ko apsegties. Agri apklusa g\u0101j\u0113ju so\u013ci. Atg\u016blos un raudz\u012bjos zvaig\u017e\u0146otaj\u0101s debes\u012bs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kam\u0113r iek\u0101rtojos jaunajos apst\u0101k\u013cos, p\u0101rm\u0113r\u012bgi aukstumu nejutu, bet, pavad\u012bjusi, p\u0101ris stundas bez kust\u012bb\u0101m, s\u0101ku salt. S\u0101ku staig\u0101t, l\u0113k\u0101t, aizg\u0101ju l\u012bdz telefona autom\u0101tam un piezvan\u012bju Ritai Platonovai, past\u0101st\u012bju, k\u0101da ir man\u0101 jaun\u0101 adrese. Rita lik\u0101s stipri nor\u016bp\u0113jusies, k\u0101 es iztur\u0113\u0161ot, jo \u0101r\u0101 esot -24 o<\/sup> sals. Cik ir, tik ir, te vairs neko groz\u012bt nevar\u0113ja. G\u0101ju atpaka\u013c uz savu gu\u013casvietu, atg\u016blos, savilku segas p\u0101ri galvai un sild\u012bju sevi ar pa\u0161as elpu. Kaut kur t\u0101lum\u0101 dzird\u0113ju piedz\u0113ru\u0161o klaigas da\u017eu automa\u0161\u012bnu trok\u0161\u0146us, bet ap pusnakti viss apklusa.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u0113k\u0161\u0146i ap bazn\u012bcas jumtu s\u0101k\u0101s kov\u0101r\u0146u k\u0146ada, nezin, kas tos bija iztrauc\u0113jis. Uz p\u0101ris, stund\u0101m noguruma p\u0101r\u0146emta, aizmigu, bet, kad atmodos, zobs uz zoba vairs netur\u0113j\u0101s \u0161ausm\u012bgi sala k\u0101j\u0101s. Ar lielu nepatiku piec\u0113los un s\u0101ku staig\u0101t \u0161urpu turpu, kam\u0113r visu sniegu biju nom\u012bd\u012bjusi. Gara, \u013coti gara nakts, nemaz r\u012btu sagaid\u012bt nevar\u0113ju.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u0101rdom\u0101jot p\u0113d\u0113j\u0101 gada notikumus, neko neno\u017e\u0113loju, jo sapratu, ka tikai ar negod\u012bgu r\u012bc\u012bbu b\u016btu var\u0113jusi tikt pie labkl\u0101j\u012bbas. \u0160ausm\u012bgi grib\u0113j\u0101s zin\u0101t, par k\u0101diem nopelniem citi ir dab\u016bju\u0161i labus dz\u012bvok\u013cus un kas ir visi tie, kuri str\u0101d\u0101 konsul\u0101tos un v\u0113stniec\u012bb\u0101s, cik aptraip\u012btas ir vi\u0146u dv\u0113seles un vai vi\u0146i labi j\u016btas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No r\u012bta mani apciemoja divas krievu meiten\u012btes. Jaut\u0101ju, k\u0101 vi\u0146as zina, ka es te esmu apmetusies uz dz\u012bvi. Mani bija iev\u0113roju\u0161i no tuv\u0113j\u0101s m\u0101jas loga pateicu, ka man vienk\u0101r\u0161i nav kur palikt. P\u0113c neilga laici\u0146a vi\u0146as man atnesa lielu kr\u016bzi ar karstu t\u0113ju. Mamma iedevusi, un vai man v\u0113l ko nevajagot. Iedevu naudu un pal\u016bdzu, lai man atnes no veikala maizi un desu. P\u0113c skolas meitenes mani atkal aplaimoja ar karsto t\u0113ju. Un t\u0101 katru dienu. Par t\u0113ju es labi samaks\u0101ju, jo biju \u013coti priec\u012bga par laipn\u012bbu, k\u0101du man par\u0101d\u012bja. Dien\u0101 tik p\u0101rm\u0113r\u012bgi nesalu un, iedz\u0113rusi karsto t\u0113ju, jutos pavisam labi. Pa telefonu neko pr\u0101t\u012bgu sazvan\u012bt neizdev\u0101s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Toties vakar\u0101 ap septi\u0146iem man\u0101 jaunaj\u0101 rezidenc\u0113 ierad\u0101s viesis no pa\u0161as Par\u012bzes. Kurts Policers, neatradis mani Veidenbauma iel\u0101, piezvan\u012bjis Eleonorai, kura, v\u0113l neko nezin\u0101dama par p\u0101rmai\u0146\u0101m man\u0101 dz\u012bv\u0113, iedevusi Ritas Platonovas telefona numuru. Lai gan Rita slikti zin\u0101ja v\u0101cu valodu, vi\u0146a bija nosaukusi savu adresi, lai Kurts brauc pie vi\u0146as. Tad vi\u0146i izsauca taksometru un kop\u0101 ar v\u0113l k\u0101du Ritas draugu, pa\u0146\u0113mu\u0161i konjaka pudeli, visi atbrauca Doma laukum\u0101 tie\u0161i pie d\u0113\u013cu s\u0113tas. Kurts Policers vispirms man pasniedza atvest\u0101s d\u0101vanas – lielu \u0161okol\u0101des kasti un fran\u010du smar\u017eas. Tad vi\u0146\u0161 pal\u016bdza Ritu un vi\u0146as draugu, lai vi\u0146i paliek p\u0101ris stundas pie man\u0101m mant\u0101m un lai “pasild\u0101s” ar konjaku, bet mani uzaicin\u0101ja uz restor\u0101nu vakari\u0146\u0101s. Iz\u0146\u0113mu no kofera vakarkleitu, kurpes, ze\u0137es un liel\u0101 saj\u016bsm\u0101 par interesanto satik\u0161anos steidzos uz restor\u0101nu Astorija. Tur es d\u0101mu istab\u0101 k\u0101rt\u012bgi nomazg\u0101jos, j\u0101, pat matus izmazg\u0101ju un ar roku \u017e\u0101v\u0113jamo f\u0113nu, vair\u0101kk\u0101rt nospie\u017eot podzi\u0146u, iz\u017e\u0101v\u0113ju, saposos un var\u0113ju s\u0113sties z\u0101l\u0113 pie galda. Ar\u012b Policers izr\u0101d\u012bja lielu prieku, ka vi\u0146am ir izdevies mani sastapt, kaut ar\u012b tik sare\u017e\u0123\u012btos apst\u0101k\u013cos. P\u0113c trim stund\u0101m, labi pa\u0113dusi un sasild\u012bjusies, lab\u0101 garast\u0101vokl\u012b kop\u0101 ar Policera kungu atgriezos Doma laukum\u0101. Pateicu paldies Ritai par visu, ko vi\u0146a man\u0101 lab\u0101 izdar\u012bjusi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Policers k\u0101das desmit min\u016btes v\u0113l uzkav\u0113j\u0101s, bet, redzot vi\u0146a vieglos apavus, pierun\u0101ju, lai iet \u0101tr\u0101k uz viesn\u012bcu. Man v\u0113l atst\u0101ja neizdzerto konjaku, t\u0101 ka man otr\u0101 nakts vairs nelik\u0101s tik gara. N\u0101ko\u0161\u0101 dien\u0101 Policera kungam atkal iztulkoju dokumentus, kad vi\u0146\u0161 ap divpadsmitiem atn\u0101ca. Vakar\u0101 vi\u0146\u0161 izlidoja uz Odesu. Un labi, ka t\u0101, jo p\u0113cpusdien\u0101 pie “maniem” v\u0101rtiem apst\u0101j\u0101s milicijas ma\u0161\u012bna. Izk\u0101pa vair\u0101ki mili\u010di, papras\u012bja pasi un pajaut\u0101ja, ko es te darot. “Vai neredzat – dz\u012bvoju, jo man citur vietas nav.” Izp\u0113t\u012bju\u0161i pasi, konstat\u0113ja, ka esmu pierakst\u012bta p\u0113c t\u0113va adreses Kr. Barona iel\u0101 24. Lai es t\u016bli\u0146 v\u0101coties prom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Ar liel\u0101ko prieku, tikai pasakiet, l\u016bdzu, uz kurieni?” mier\u012bgi turpin\u0101ju st\u0101v\u0113t pie mant\u0101m. “Te jums pas\u0113 ir adrese, tur ar\u012b dz\u012bvojat.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Es izst\u0101st\u012bju, k\u0101 pirms div\u0101m dien\u0101m ar kravas automa\u0161\u012bnu es braucu ar nol\u016bku dz\u012bvot pie t\u0113va, bet k\u0101 mani tur uz\u0146\u0113ma – pat durvis neatv\u0113ra. “Labi, m\u0113s aizbrauksim p\u0101rbaud\u012bt,” mili\u010di bra\u0161i noskald\u012bja, bet dr\u012bz bija atpaka\u013c no\u0161\u013cuku\u0161iem deguniem. J\u0101, tur gan man neb\u016b\u0161ot iesp\u0113jams dz\u012bvot, vi\u0146i negrib\u012bgi piekrita.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Bet te j\u016bs tom\u0113r palikt nevarat, jums var uzbrukt, var aplaup\u012bt.” “N\u0101ciet sarg\u0101t manu mantu, ja jums bail, ka mani var\u0113tu aplaup\u012bt,” es pajokoju, bet tad teicu, ka esmu dar\u012bjusi visu iesp\u0113jamo, apzvan\u012bjusi visus paz\u012bstamos, bet pagaid\u0101m neviena vieta nav atrasta. Tikl\u012bdz kaut ko atrad\u012b\u0161u, izv\u0101k\u0161os no Doma laukuma. V\u0113l nebija satumsis, kad jau lik\u0101m mantas kravas automob\u012bl\u012b, jo bija sa\u0146emta at\u013cauja l\u012bdz pavasarim atst\u0101t mantas Katlakaln\u0101, k\u0101das priv\u0101tas m\u0101jas \u0161\u0137\u016bn\u012b. Ar\u012b par to man bija j\u0101b\u016bt pateic\u012bgai.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Un t\u0101 un t\u0101, un t\u0101 es kl\u012bstu, un t\u0101 es m\u016b\u017eam kl\u012bd\u012b\u0161u” – kaut kur dzird\u0113tas dziesmas rinda. Ilgi kl\u012bdu. Lab\u0101kaj\u0101 gad\u012bjum\u0101 k\u0101d\u0101 dz\u012bvokli uz kr\u0113sliem vai uz gr\u012bdas, slikt\u0101kaj\u0101 – nos\u0113d\u0113ju nakti telefona t\u0101lsarunu centr\u0101l\u0113. K\u0101d\u0101 algas dien\u0101, sa\u0146\u0113musi naudu, v\u0113l\u0113jos k\u0101rt\u012bgi izgul\u0113ties lab\u0101 viesn\u012bc\u0101, bet velt\u012bgi: ja pase R\u012bg\u0101 pierakst\u012bta, viesn\u012bc\u0101 nelai\u017e. Kur tik stulbi likumi radu\u0161ies! Un tad k\u0101da pazi\u0146a mani pierun\u0101ja iet str\u0101d\u0101t uz vasaras sezonu veikal\u0101 Majoros, jo tur b\u016b\u0161ot sava gulta verand\u0101.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

SAVA GULTA VERAND\u0100<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

P\u0101r\u0101k vilino\u0161s t\u0101ds variants, lai atteiktos! Majoros mekl\u0113ja p\u0101rdev\u0113ju maizes veikal\u0101. Smags darbs, j\u0101cil\u0101 kastes ar maizi un smiekl\u012bgi maza alga, bet toties par dzelzs gultas lieto\u0161anu verand\u0101 naudu nepras\u012bja. Visas p\u0101rtikas noda\u013cas p\u0101rdev\u0113jas vienu ned\u0113\u013cu str\u0101d\u0101ja, otra br\u012bva, jo veikals atv\u0113rts l\u012bdz vienpadsmitiem vakar\u0101. Verand\u0101 atrad\u0101s vieta \u010detr\u0101m gult\u0101m. Man laim\u0113j\u0101s, jo var\u0113ju sav\u0101 gult\u0101 gul\u0113t ar\u012b br\u012bvaj\u0101 ned\u0113\u013c\u0101. Bez gult\u0101m tur atrad\u0101s boj\u0101ti ledusskapji un taras kastes, kuras izmantoj\u0101m gar galdiem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tas bija augusta m\u0113nesi, kad man\u0101 veikal\u0101 ien\u0101ca kafiju dzert prec\u0113ts p\u0101ris no Francijas – Pj\u0113rs un Marta Landeri. Tie\u0161i taj\u0101 laik\u0101 pa\u0161m\u0101c\u012bbas ce\u013c\u0101 m\u0101c\u012bjos fran\u010du valodu, un nu rad\u0101s izdev\u012bba sarun\u0101ties. Vi\u0146i dz\u012bvoja Bulduros, tur esot atp\u016btas m\u0101ja \u0101rzemniekiem. Pj\u0113rs universit\u0101t\u0113 bija sp\u0101\u0146u valodas profesors, Marta – vingro\u0161anas skolot\u0101ja k\u0101d\u0101 skol\u0101. Abi Francijas komunistisk\u0101s partijas biedri. Vi\u0146i izteica v\u0113l\u0113\u0161anos ar mani tikties \u0101rpus darba laika. Pateicu, ka man visa n\u0101ko\u0161\u0101 ned\u0113\u013ca b\u016bs br\u012bva. M\u0113s satik\u0101mies, sadraudz\u0113j\u0101mies, stund\u0101m staig\u0101j\u0101m gar j\u016brmalu. Pa vasaru biju uzgleznojusi vair\u0101kas ainavas, un t\u0101s nedaudz izdai\u013coja m\u016bsu kopm\u012btni verand\u0101.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Savedusi telpu k\u0101rt\u012bb\u0101, uzaicin\u0101ju fran\u010du p\u0101ri, viesos, lai par\u0101d\u012btu, k\u0101dos apst\u0101k\u013cos man j\u0101dz\u012bvo, lai gan esmu dzimusi un uzaugusi sav\u0101 zem\u0113, bet iebrauc\u0113ji no Krievijas sa\u0146em labos dz\u012bvok\u013cus. Pie viena izst\u0101st\u012bju visu, kas man bija zin\u0101ms par Latvijas okup\u0101cijas sek\u0101m, ko piedz\u012bvoja mana m\u0101te cietum\u0101 un k\u0101 m\u0101tes br\u0101li, ledlau\u017ea ” Kr. Valdem\u0101ra” virsnieku 1941. gad\u0101 komunisti no\u0161\u0101va, pat uzv\u0101rdu nepaprasot. Beig\u0101s uzsv\u0113ru: “J\u016bs, Francijas komunisti, nemaz nezin\u0101t, k\u0101dus briesmu darbus str\u0101d\u0101 padomju komunisti.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Marta piebilda: “M\u0113s c\u012bn\u0101mies par vienl\u012bdz\u012bbu.” “Par vienl\u012bdz\u012bbu j\u016bs varat c\u012bn\u012bties, cik jums pat\u012bk, tikai nedariet p\u0101ri cilv\u0113kiem un neticiet padomju komunistiem.” Apm\u0113ram ar t\u0101diem v\u0101rdiem m\u016bsu saruna beidz\u0101s, un m\u0113s vair\u0101k nesatik\u0101mies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fran\u010du p\u0101rim izr\u0101d\u012bj\u0101s izcila atmi\u0146a – ne jau velti Pj\u0113rs ir profesors – jo negribas dom\u0101t, ka vi\u0146iem b\u016btu bijis l\u012bdzi magnetofons. Visu, visu, ko es biju teikusi, tie\u0161i t\u0101d\u0101 sec\u012bb\u0101, ko run\u0101ju pirmaj\u0101, ko otraj\u0101 dien\u0101, man p\u0113c desmit m\u0113ne\u0161iem nolas\u012bja priek\u0161\u0101 \u010dekas izmekl\u0113t\u0101js Andris Trautmanis.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bet daudzus gadus v\u0113l\u0101k, kad biju Par\u012bz\u0113, nevar\u0113ju nociesties, neieg\u0101jusi lab\u0113j\u0101 \u017eurn\u0101la ” Minute” redakcij\u0101, lai dar\u012btu zin\u0101mu fran\u010du \u017eurn\u0101listiem, k\u0101di cilv\u0113ki brauc no Francijas uz okup\u0113to Latviju un k\u0101 vi\u0146i tur uzvedas. Protams, es \u010dek\u0101 visu noliedzu, t\u0101 tikai v\u0113l tr\u016bka – atz\u012bties! Vien\u012bgi piekritu, ka par\u0101d\u012bju fran\u010du p\u0101rim, k\u0101dos apst\u0101k\u013cos m\u0113s, \u010detras sievietes, gu\u013cam veikala noliktavas telp\u0101 verand\u0101. Ties\u0101 ierad\u0101s Int\u016brista gide Goldberga – k\u0101 aps\u016bdz\u012bbas lieciniece un liecin\u0101ja par to, cik fran\u010du p\u0101ris bija sa\u0161utis par maniem izteicieniem un padomju \u012bsten\u012bbas apmelojumiem. K\u0101di tur apmelojumi, ja pa\u0161i sav\u0101m ac\u012bm visu redz\u0113ja un pat s\u0113d\u0113ja uz dzelzs gulti\u0146as verand\u0101!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

TALLINAS IEL\u0100<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Ir j\u0101atz\u012bst, ka p\u0101rdev\u0113j\u0101m ir daudz pla\u0161\u0101ks pazi\u0146u loks, nek\u0101 citiem mirst\u012bgajiem. Biju sezonas darba kol\u0113\u0123es inform\u0113jusi par to, ka ruden\u012b, ja neko neatrad\u012b\u0161u, k\u013c\u016b\u0161u atkal par klaidoni – bezpajumtnieci. Ir t\u0101da kategorija cit\u0101s zem\u0113s, bet nav gan dzird\u0113ts par str\u0101d\u0101jo\u0161iem bezpajumtniekiem. T\u0101da jauna kategorija ir iesp\u0113jama tikai m\u016bsu apst\u0101k\u013cos. Es nebiju vien\u012bg\u0101. Pien\u0101ca rudens ar v\u0113s\u0101m nakt\u012bm, vasaras sezonas darbs bija beidzies. Paliku verand\u0101 viena. Labi v\u0113l, ka nedzina \u0101r\u0101. V\u0113l p\u0113c ned\u0113\u013cas man rad\u0101s sabiedr\u012bba: peles un \u017eurkas, turkl\u0101t liel\u0101 skait\u0101, lai mani izklaid\u0113tu. Beig\u0101s k\u013cuva p\u0101rdro\u0161as un l\u012bda pie manis gult\u0101 sild\u012bties. Esmu dz\u012bvnieku m\u012b\u013cot\u0101ja, bet pret grauz\u0113jiem – pel\u0113m un \u017eurk\u0101m – j\u016btu riebumu un pat bailes. Lai b\u016btu dro\u0161\u0101k, aiz\u0146\u0113mos no pazi\u0146\u0101m lielu vilku sugas suni – Pir\u0101tu. No Pir\u0101ta vi\u0146as baid\u012bj\u0101s un nebija vairs tik p\u0101rdro\u0161as, bet sl\u0113p\u0101s aiz kast\u0113m.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1961. g. oktobra vid\u016b no k\u0101das p\u0101rdev\u0113jas sa\u0146\u0113mu iepriecino\u0161u zi\u0146u, ka Tallina iel\u0101 45 ir p\u0101rdodama viena istaba komun\u0101l\u0101 dz\u012bvokl\u012b. Redz\u0113ju istabu, gl\u012bti iztaps\u0113tu, izkr\u0101sotu, ar\u012b cena pie\u0146emama. Teicu, ka noteikti pirk\u0161u, iedevu nelielu “rokas naudu” un pal\u016bdzu at\u013cauju iev\u0101kties. Sav\u0101kusi visas mantas vienkopus, laim\u012bga bez m\u0113ra, iev\u0101cos jaunaj\u0101 viet\u0101, atlika tikai nok\u0101rtot pap\u012brus. Bet te k\u0101 pret sienu: mani tur nepieraksta, jo istabas \u012bpa\u0161niece mirusi, bet d\u0113lam, kur\u0161 tur skait\u012bj\u0101s pierakst\u012bts, nav nek\u0101da pamata mani, sve\u0161u personu, pierakst\u012bt, v\u0113l jo vair\u0101k t\u0101d\u0113\u013c, ka vi\u0146am ir sava \u0123imene. L\u012bdzjut\u0113ji mani pam\u0101c\u012bja, lai dodot kukuli. Kam dot, kur dot, cik dot – to man neviens nezin\u0101ja pateikt Kam\u0113r nezi\u0146\u0101 skraid\u012bju apk\u0101rt, padomus pras\u012bdama, jau “ciemi\u0146i” kl\u0101t, tikai bez s\u0101lsmaizes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

T\u0101s viet\u0101 vi\u0146iem bija kabat\u0101 VDK apz\u012bmogots krat\u012b\u0161anas orderis. \u0100tri uzzin\u0101ju\u0161i manu jauno, v\u0113l neofici\u0101lo adresi, pierakst\u012bta tak nebiju, t\u0101pat zinot, ka nu visa mana manta sav\u0101kta vienkopus. Un ir paroc\u012bgi izdar\u012bt krat\u012b\u0161anu. Krat\u012bt\u0101jus atveda Sta\u0146islavs Viktorovi\u010ds Zukulis. Man dzirdot, piekodin\u0101ja, lai mekl\u0113jot pamat\u012bgi un, ja kas, tad lai r\u012bkojoties operat\u012bvi. Pats aizbrauca. Ilgi pie sevis pr\u0101toju, ko noz\u012bm\u0113 v\u0101rdi “r\u012bkoties operat\u012bvi”. Pav\u0113le, protams, tika dota krievu valod\u0101, bet noz\u012bme nemain\u0101s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Visu biju pasp\u0113jusi novietot priek\u0161z\u012bm\u012bg\u0101 k\u0101rt\u012bb\u0101, viss labi p\u0101rredzams, nek\u0101du lieku pap\u012bru nebija, t\u0101pat nek\u0101du \u0101rzemju \u017eurn\u0101lu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bet r\u012bkojums dots – j\u0101krata, un vi\u0146i s\u0101ka burtiski krat\u012bt un purin\u0101t manus nedaudzos ap\u0123\u0113rba gabalus. K\u013cuvu nikna, to redzot, un ind\u012bgi pajaut\u0101ju: “Bet vai j\u016bs nenomazg\u0101tu rokas, pirms \u0137eraties pie manas t\u012br\u0101s ve\u013cas?” Vi\u0146u rokas esot t\u012bras. “Bet es par to \u0161aubos,” piez\u012bm\u0113ju.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Neko neatradu\u0161i, tuk\u0161\u0101m rok\u0101m vi\u0146i grib\u0113ja iet prom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“N\u0113,” teicu, “tagad salieciet visu atpaka\u013c skap\u012b, k\u0101 bija.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Negrib\u012bgi, bet tom\u0113r \u0161\u0101 t\u0101 salika un neapmierin\u0101ti aizg\u0101ja – bez operat\u012bv\u0101m r\u012bc\u012bb\u0101m. Nevar\u0113ju izdom\u0101t iemeslu, k\u0101d\u0113\u013c n\u0101ca krat\u012bt istabu, kur\u0101 tikai p\u0101ris ned\u0113\u013cas dz\u012bvoju. Nekur neg\u0101ju, nevienam nes\u016bdz\u0113jos, s\u0113d\u0113ju dzi\u013c\u0101s p\u0101rdom\u0101s. Tik niknu es Zukuli nekad nebiju redz\u0113jusi, it k\u0101 es b\u016btu izdar\u012bjusi atent\u0101ta m\u0113\u0123in\u0101jumu pret \u010dekas \u0123ener\u0101\u013ciem vai kaut ko taml\u012bdz\u012bgu. Iemeslu nekad neuzzin\u0101ju. Laikam k\u0101ds safabric\u0113jis nepatiesu zi\u0146ojumu par mani, lai gl\u0101btu savu \u0101du. Tas bija vien\u012bgais pie\u0146emamais variants, un ar to man bija j\u0101samierin\u0101s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Triju m\u0113ne\u0161u laik\u0101 es ar dz\u012bvok\u013ca pirk\u0161anu nevienu soli uz priek\u0161u nebiju tikusi. Atn\u0101ca p\u0101rdev\u0113js un pazi\u0146oja, ja es neprotot istabu nopirkt, tad man t\u0101 j\u0101atbr\u012bvo. M\u0113\u0123in\u0101ju pierun\u0101t, lai tak at\u013cauj dz\u012bvot un ka k\u0101rt\u012bgi maks\u0101\u0161u katru m\u0113nesi un ar gadiem vi\u0146am rezult\u0101t\u0101 san\u0101ks vair\u0101k naudas. S\u0101kumam sol\u012bju simts rub\u013cus m\u0113nes\u012b, tad simtpiecdesmit, beig\u0101s iesaucos: “Nu cik j\u016bs gribat?” N\u0113, vi\u0146am nauda esot vajadz\u012bga t\u016bli\u0146 un vi\u0146am esot grunt\u012bgs pirc\u0113js, kur\u0161 do\u0161ot visu naudu uzreiz.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nu, ja t\u0101? Tom\u0113r laikam ir gudr\u0101ki cilv\u0113ki par mani, kuri prot apiet likumus un norm\u0101li dz\u012bvot nenorm\u0101l\u0101 iek\u0101rt\u0101.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sarun\u0101ju, ka mantas var\u0113\u0161u aizvest un nolikt pie paz\u012bstamiem Kr. Barona un \u0122ertr\u016bd\u0113s ielas st\u016br\u012b, koka nami\u0146a pagrab\u0101. Kad ar kravu ierados, neviena m\u0101j\u0101s nebija, pagrabs aizsl\u0113gts. K\u0101du stundu gaid\u012bj\u0101m, tad \u0161oferis – krievs pazi\u0146oja, ka ilg\u0101k st\u0101v\u0113t nevarot, ma\u0161\u012bna j\u0101ved uz gar\u0101\u017eu. Ko nu dar\u012bt, kur likt mantas? Ja es gribot, varot mantas aizvest ar visu ma\u0161\u012bnu uz vi\u0146a gar\u0101\u017eu, tur vietas diezgan, kur mantas izkraut, un tad k\u0101d\u0101 n\u0101ko\u0161\u0101 dien\u0101m vi\u0146\u0161 pats atved\u012b\u0161ot, kur vajadz\u0113s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bezizeja, m\u016b\u017e\u012bg\u0101 bezizeja apnikusi l\u012bdz kaklam. Priek\u0161likumam piekritu, jo neko pr\u0101t\u012bg\u0101ku izdom\u0101t nesp\u0113ju. T\u0101tad uztic\u0113ju sve\u0161am krievam visu savu mantu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Divat\u0101 \u0101tri visu izkr\u0101v\u0101m. Norun\u0101j\u0101m, ka es gar\u0101\u017e\u0101 pa durvju spraugu iemet\u012b\u0161u z\u012bm\u012bti, kur\u0101 dien\u0101 un cikos p\u0113c mantas ierad\u012b\u0161os. Gar\u0101\u017ea atrad\u0101s Vecr\u012bg\u0101, un to ar pamat\u012bgu piekaramo atsl\u0113gu man\u0101 kl\u0101tb\u016btn\u0113 aizsl\u0113dza.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

PATREPES KAMBAR\u012a<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Parasti tiku ar saviem priekiem un b\u0113d\u0101m viena gal\u0101, ja jau kop\u0161 dzim\u0161anas patst\u0101v\u012bga, tad t\u0101dai visu m\u016b\u017eu j\u0101paliek.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0160oreiz jutu sp\u0113kus izs\u012bkstam. Uzn\u0101ca briesm\u012bga v\u0113l\u0113\u0161an\u0101s ar k\u0101du parun\u0101t, ar v\u0101rdu sakot, sirdi izkrat\u012bt. Man bija \u013coti pr\u0101t\u012bga m\u0101s\u012bca, kura ar \u0123imeni apdz\u012bvoja mazu pagraba dz\u012bvokl\u012bti Kr. Barona iel\u0101 24, taj\u0101, pa\u0161\u0101 m\u0101j\u0101, kur otraj\u0101 st\u0101v\u0101 dz\u012bvoja mans t\u0113vs un kur es skait\u012bjos pierakst\u012bta.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pas\u0113d\u0113j\u0101m pie vakari\u0146u galda, pakritiz\u0113j\u0101m manu t\u0113vu un sve\u0161o sievieti Annu, kura bija t\u0113vu pret mani noska\u0146ojusi, lai pati, nekur nestr\u0101d\u0101dama, var\u0113tu pie vi\u0146a dz\u012bvot un vi\u0146u izmantot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tas, ko dzird\u0113ju par Annas un t\u0113va attiec\u012bb\u0101m, man\u012b rad\u012bja izbr\u012bnu, k\u0101 viens sapr\u0101t\u012bgs v\u012brietis t\u0101du sievieti var m\u012bl\u0113t. Bet ja jau nem\u012bl\u0113tu, tad sav\u0101 m\u0101j\u0101 netur\u0113tu. Reiz m\u0101s\u012bca g\u0101jusi sakar\u0101 ar k\u0101du vajadz\u012bbu pie t\u0113va. T\u0113vs gul\u0113jis gult\u0101, Anna s\u0113d\u0113jusi uz gultas malas un tur\u0113jusi rok\u0101 lielu atv\u0113ztu b\u0101rdas skujama nazi (t\u0101du, kuru asina uz \u0101das siksnas). Nazi piespiedusi t\u0113vam pie kakla, Anna vair\u0101kk\u0101rt kliegusi: “Saki, vecais m\u0113rka\u0137i, kuru tu m\u012bli: mani vai savu meitu?” “Nu, protams, ka tevi,” bijusi t\u0113va atbilde. Pirms k\u0101da gada vi\u0146a t\u0113vu t\u0101 bija sagraiz\u012bjusi, ka visa m\u0101ja bijusi ar asin\u012bm apta\u0161\u0137\u012bta un t\u0113vs bijis j\u0101ved uz slimn\u012bcu, kur vi\u0146am vair\u0101kas \u0161uves uzliktas. Glu\u017ei k\u0101 krimin\u0101lrom\u0101n\u0101! M\u0101s\u012bca dom\u0101ja, ka es var\u0113tu uziet aprun\u0101ties ar s\u0113tnieci, vai vi\u0146a nevar\u0113tu ielaist mani ar mant\u0101m kambar\u012bti zem k\u0101pn\u0113m. “Tu \u0161aj\u0101 m\u0101j\u0101 esi pierakst\u012bta, visa m\u0101ja zina, k\u0101da ir Anna, un, kam\u0113r tu atrad\u012bsi ko lab\u0101ku, vari padz\u012bvot kambar\u012b. Tur ir silts, jo viena siena silst no centr\u0101lapkures kr\u0101sns. Vien\u012bgi cementa gr\u012bdai k\u0101di d\u0113\u013ci j\u0101uzliek. Lab\u0101k\u0101s dr\u0113bes, kuras tu katru dienu nen\u0113s\u0101, ieliec \u010demod\u0101n\u0101 un ienes pie manis.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

T\u016bl\u012bt, uz karst\u0101m p\u0113d\u0101m, g\u0101ju pie s\u0113tnieces. B\u016btu v\u0113l bijis biju\u0161ais s\u0113tnieks Erdmanis, ne par k\u0101du naudu neietu. S\u0113tniece, jauka sieviete vid\u0113jos gados, l\u012bdzj\u016bt\u012bgi noklaus\u012bj\u0101s manu st\u0101stu. Vi\u0146a visu zin\u0101ja – gan par t\u0113va un Annas interesantaj\u0101m izdar\u012bb\u0101m, gan ar\u012b par mani.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Apskat\u012bj\u0101m kambari zem k\u0101pn\u0113m ar dal\u012bt\u0101m j\u016bt\u0101m, jo, p\u0113c man\u0101m dom\u0101m, vieta dz\u012bvo\u0161anai bija diezgan laba, bet s\u0113tniece dom\u0101ja, ka t\u0101 ir no\u017e\u0113lojama un dz\u012bvo\u0161anai nepiem\u0113rota. Ta\u010du, ja man gal\u012bgi neesot, kur palikt, tad kambar\u012b tom\u0113r ir lab\u0101k, nek\u0101 s\u0113d\u0113t visu nakti telefona t\u0101lsarunu centr\u0101l\u0113. Vienoj\u0101mies, ka vi\u0146a izv\u0101ks no kambara slotas un l\u0101pstas, kuras vi\u0146a tikpat labi var tur\u0113t kurtuv\u0113, un ka es jau n\u0101ko\u0161\u0101 dien\u0101 ved\u012b\u0161u mantas. V\u0113l taj\u0101 pa\u0161\u0101 vakar\u0101 aizskr\u0113ju uz Vecr\u012bgu un iemetu gar\u0101\u017eas durvju spraug\u0101 z\u012bm\u012bti, ka b\u016b\u0161u n\u0101ko\u0161\u0101s dienas p\u0113cpusdien\u0101 p\u0113c mant\u0101m. Pie mantu iekrau\u0161anas ma\u0161\u012bn\u0101 bez \u0161ofera piedal\u012bj\u0101s v\u0113l viens krievs: vai nu draugs, vai radinieks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vi\u0146iem patika viena glezna, to es uzd\u0101vin\u0101ju \u0161oferim par mantu uzglab\u0101\u0161anu. \u013boti \u0101tri abi v\u012brie\u0161i sanesa visu kambar\u012b. Skapi izjaukt\u0101 veid\u0101 ievietoja pa\u0161\u0101 diben\u0101, pie gala sienas. Vien mal\u0101 labi var\u0113ja ievietot gu\u013camo tahtu, otr\u0101 mal\u0101 gr\u0101matu plauktu, bet pie durv\u012bm v\u0113l atlika vieta radio galdi\u0146am un koferiem. Samaks\u0101ju par vedumu un s\u0101ku iek\u0101rtoties. Kurtuves siena pietiekami mazo telpu apsild\u012bja, bet, negrib\u0113dama gul\u0113t pie net\u012br\u0101 cementa m\u016bra, es tur piek\u0101ru tepi\u0137i. Novietojusi radio un ska\u0146ot\u0101ju uz galdi\u0146a, s\u0101ku mekl\u0113t savu magnetofonu, bet to nekur neatradu. Vai b\u016btu atst\u0101ts kravas ma\u0161\u012bn\u0101? Tom\u0113r n\u0113, jo vi\u0146i mani paaicin\u0101ja p\u0101rliecin\u0101ties, ka ma\u0161\u012bna tuk\u0161a. Gara\u017e\u0101 es pati p\u0101rbaud\u012bju, vai kas nav palicis. Bet magnetofons pazudis. V\u0113l\u0101k, atv\u0113rusi koferus, konstat\u0113ju, ka esmu apzagta, daudz, \u013coti daudz k\u0101 tr\u016bka, vien\u012bgi no dr\u0113b\u0113m nekas netr\u016bka.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0145\u0113mu pap\u012bru un z\u012bmuli un s\u0101ku pierakst\u012bt visu, k\u0101 tr\u016bkst. Nebija fotoapar\u0101ta, magnetofona lentes, porcel\u0101na galda \u0161\u0137iltavas, brok\u0101ta rokassomi\u0146as ar diviem zelta gredzeniem un zelta \u0137\u0113d\u012bti un sudraba pap\u012brna\u017ea ar zilo\u0146kaula spalu. Tr\u016bka ar\u012b divi jauni kurpju p\u0101ri un sudraba trauki ar iegrav\u0113tiem inici\u0101\u013ciem un dienu, kur\u0101 mani krist\u012bja. J\u0101, \u0161o krist\u012bbu d\u0101vanu man visvair\u0101k bija \u017e\u0113l. Visu citu var nopirkt, bet krist\u012bbu sudrabu nekad. Aizskr\u0113ju atkal uz Vecr\u012bgu, tur gar\u0101\u017e\u0101 neviena vairs nebija.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Man bija l\u012bdzpa\u0146emt\u0101 kabatas baterijas lampi\u0146a. Pa spraugu pasp\u012bdin\u0101ju un pierakst\u012bju ma\u0161\u012bnas numuru. N\u0101ko\u0161aj\u0101 dien\u0101 uzzin\u0101ju, ka ma\u0161\u012bna pieder 6. arodskolai. Sarakstu ar zudu\u0161\u0101m mant\u0101m aiznesu uz miliciju, tur visu izst\u0101st\u012bju. P\u0113c da\u017e\u0101m dien\u0101m uzaicin\u0101ja mani un \u0161oferi milicijas kabinet\u0101. Te es uzzin\u0101ju to, ko vismaz\u0101k biju gaid\u012bjusi: proti, par pal\u012bdz\u012bbu un pretimn\u0101k\u0161anu, k\u0101du man izr\u0101d\u012bjis \u0161oferis, es vi\u0146u nekrietni apmelojot zag\u0161an\u0101. “Visu, ko vi\u0146a gar\u0101\u017e\u0101 atst\u0101ja, vi\u0146a sa\u0146\u0113ma, man ir liecinieks, kur\u0161 redz\u0113ja: vi\u0146a pati p\u0101rliecin\u0101j\u0101s, ka gar\u0101\u017e\u0101 uz gr\u012bdas nekas nepalika.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Bet zelts un sudrabs nebija uz gr\u012bdas, tas bija iesai\u0146ots un noglab\u0101ts koferos,” es m\u0113\u0123in\u0101ju protest\u0113t, bet velt\u012bgi, milicijas darbinieks bija \u0161ofera pus\u0113 un gudri pam\u0101c\u012bja: “Ja t\u0101das liet\u0101s jums visp\u0101r bija, tad nevajadz\u0113ja atst\u0101t.” J\u0101, t\u0101 bija taisn\u012bba, nevajadz\u0113ja atst\u0101t…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kambar\u012b es jutos dro\u0161i, jo d\u0113\u013cu sienas izskat\u012bj\u0101s stipras, un durvis var\u0113ja aizsl\u0113gt ar div\u0101m atsl\u0113g\u0101m. Iek\u0161\u0101 bija gaisma. Var\u0113ju vakaros p\u0113c darba las\u012bt. Taj\u0101 laik\u0101 es str\u0101d\u0101ju R\u012bgas maizes, rauga un makaronu fabrik\u0101 Gan\u012bbu damb\u012b. Biju pie\u0146emta m\u0101ksliniecisk\u0101s noform\u0113\u0161anas darbiem un pie viena pild\u012bju bibliotek\u0101res pien\u0101kumus. Ar darbu biju apmierin\u0101ta, kaut ar\u012b san\u0101ca mazliet par daudz nostr\u0101d\u0101ties. Bet tur bija ar\u012b savs labums. Kam\u0113r v\u0113l nebiju tikusi pie sava kambara patrep\u0113, es se\u0161os vakar\u0101 nodz\u0113su bibliot\u0113k\u0101 gaismu, aizsl\u0113dzu durvis un, sakl\u0101jusi uz galda vecus aizkarus, likos turpat gul\u0113t. Visp\u0101r se\u0161os miegs v\u0113l nen\u0101ca un bija stipri par agru gul\u0113\u0161anai, bet bija j\u0101rada iespaids, ka esmu no darba aizg\u0101jusi. Reiz es veselu m\u0113nesi nebiju pa darbavietas v\u0101rtiem izg\u0101jusi, jo \u0113dienu ieg\u0101d\u0101jos dienas laik\u0101 turpat bufet\u0113. Bet, ja k\u0101dreiz izg\u0101ju, tad man bija iepriek\u0161 j\u0101zina, pie kuras draudzenes nakt\u012b gul\u0113\u0161u.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pie patrepes kambara bija nedaudz j\u0101pierod, jo blakus atrad\u0101s lifts, un vakaros, kam\u0113r aug\u0161\u0113jo st\u0101vu \u012brnieki ar liftu brauk\u0101ja, troksnis trauc\u0113ja. Bet cilv\u0113ks pie visa pierod. Un kur t\u0101 lab\u0101 saj\u016bta, ka pa\u0161ai savs kakti\u0146\u0161.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u010cetrus m\u0113ne\u0161us jutos k\u0101 pilnv\u0113rt\u012bgs cilv\u0113ks, tad atkal uzbruka nelaime. Vakar\u0101, p\u0101rn\u0101kusi no darba, atsl\u0113dzu kambara durvis. Taj\u0101 br\u012bd\u012b k\u0101ds pajauns v\u012brietis k\u0101p\u0146u telp\u0101 mani cie\u0161i nov\u0113roja. ieg\u0101jusi kambar\u012b, steidz\u012bgi aizbult\u0113ju durvis. Tad vi\u0146\u0161 klauv\u0113ja pie man\u0101m durv\u012bm un krieviski teica, lai atverot. T\u0101 tik v\u0113l tr\u016bka, sve\u0161am gar\u0101mg\u0101j\u0113jam atv\u0113rt! Teicu, ka neatv\u0113r\u0161u. N\u0101ko\u0161aj\u0101 vakar\u0101 savlaic\u012bgi paman\u012bju, ka divi v\u012brie\u0161i st\u0101v pie man\u0101m durv\u012bm. \u0100tri apsviedos un izskr\u0113ju uz ielas. Atgriezos p\u0113c da\u017e\u0101m stund\u0101m un tikai tad, kad biju p\u0101rliecin\u0101jusies, ka neviena tuvum\u0101 nav, atv\u0113ru savas durvis. Visu nakti nevar\u0113ju gul\u0113t, katrs troksn\u012btis man lika satr\u016bkties. V\u0113l p\u0113c dienas atradu pie durv\u012bm piespraustu z\u012bm\u012bti, ka man ir j\u0101ierodas 15. namu p\u0101rvald\u0113.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Namu p\u0101rvaldnieks, dusm\u012bgs krievs, bez lieka ievada bruka man virs\u016b: “Ar k\u0101d\u0101m ties\u012bb\u0101m j\u016bs dz\u012bvojat k\u0101p\u0146u telp\u0101?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Ar t\u0101d\u0101m, ka esmu daudzus gadus taj\u0101 m\u0101j\u0101 pierakst\u012bta pie sava t\u0113va, bet pa\u0161reiz pie vi\u0146a uzturas k\u0101da sve\u0161a persona, un pa to laiku esmu spiesta dz\u012bvot k\u0101p\u0146u telpas kambar\u012b.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“\u0160odien pat es jums pav\u0113lu k\u0101p\u0146u telpas noliktavu atbr\u012bvot, jo t\u0101 ir dom\u0101ta s\u0113tnieka darbar\u012bkiem.” “Dom\u0101ju, ka tas neb\u016bs iesp\u0113jams ne \u0161odien, ne tuv\u0101kaj\u0101 laik\u0101, jo man nav kur iet. Bez tam mans t\u0113vs \u0161aj\u0101 nam\u0101 dz\u012bvo no 1924. gada, kad \u0161o namu uzc\u0113la. Un es \u0161aj\u0101 nam\u0101 esmu uzaugusi,” t\u0101 es cer\u0113ju namu p\u0101rvaldnieku mazdrusci\u0146 piek\u0101p\u012bg\u0101ku padar\u012bt, bet velt\u012bgi. “Es j\u016bs s\u016bdz\u0113\u0161u ties\u0101.” “Nu, ja ties\u0101, tad ties\u0101,” es apgriezos un g\u0101ju prom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1962. gada maija m\u0113ne\u0161a 16. dien\u0101 R\u012bgas Kirova rajona tautas ties\u0101 man bija j\u0101atbild uz veselu rindu jaut\u0101jumu un j\u0101paskaidro k\u0101d\u0113\u013c es dz\u012bvojot k\u0101p\u0146u telpas pieliekamaj\u0101 kambar\u012b. Ties\u0101 namu p\u0101rvaldnieks nelabi br\u0113ca un meloja, ka manam t\u0113vam esot skaists dz\u012bvoklis, kur\u0101 ar\u012b man esot vietas diezgan. Bet es esot sp\u012bt\u012bga un t\u0101d\u0113\u013c dz\u012bvojot zem k\u0101pn\u0113m. Es tiesnesei teicu, ka t\u0101 nav taisn\u012bba, jo manam t\u0113vam ir tikai viena istaba un ka bez vi\u0146a tur v\u0113l dz\u012bvo sve\u0161a sieviete, kura man t\u0113vu ir at\u0146\u0113musi, un man nav kur iet, jo dz\u012bvok\u013cu p\u0101rvald\u0113 mani rind\u0101 ne\u0146\u0113ma un tuv\u0101kaj\u0101 laik\u0101 ne\u0146ems tie\u0161i t\u0101d\u0113\u013c, ka esmu pierakst\u012bta pie t\u0113va un plat\u012bba 17 m ir paredz\u0113ta \u010detr\u0101m person\u0101m.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tiesnese man tic\u0113ja un at\u013c\u0101va v\u0113l m\u0113nesi dz\u012bvot man\u0101 patrep\u0113. Bet apst\u0101k\u013ci sagad\u012bj\u0101s t\u0101, ka nepaguvu pilnu m\u0113nesi sav\u0101 telpi\u0146\u0101 nodz\u012bvot. 1962. g. 12. j\u016bnij\u0101 plkst. 6 no r\u012bta ierad\u0101s tr\u012bs kungi no VDK ar krat\u012b\u0161anas orderi, ies\u0113din\u0101ja mani “Volg\u0101” un aizveda vispirms uz darbavietu. Krat\u012b\u0161anu izdar\u012bja sekojo\u0161as personas: izmekl\u0113\u0161anas da\u013cas vec\u0101kais izmekl\u0113t\u0101js vec. leitnants Krasnovs, t\u0101s pa\u0161as da\u013cas izmekl\u0113t\u0101js leitnants Trautmanis, VDK operat\u012bv\u0101s da\u013cas pilnvarotais majors Ziedi\u0146\u0161 ar pieaicin\u0101tiem: Novikovu L. P., Hristenko E. V. un R\u012bgas rauga un maizes kombin\u0101ta galveno in\u017eenieri Kru\u017ekinu, k\u0101 ar\u012b t\u0101 pa\u0161a kombin\u0101ta bibliotek\u0101ri – m\u0101kslinieci Celmi\u0146u Hel\u0113nu. P\u0113c pamat\u012bgas bibliot\u0113kas p\u0101rmekl\u0113\u0161anas k\u0101dai VDK izmekl\u0113\u0161anas da\u013cas darbiniecei Kafanovai lika p\u0101rmekl\u0113t manas kabatas. Vi\u0146a man at\u0146\u0113ma Revlon firmas pusizlietotu l\u016bpu kr\u0101su, k\u0101 ar\u012b paci\u0146u ar 4 Pall Mall cigaret\u0113m, tad v\u0113l vienu t\u0101du pa\u0161u paci\u0146u ar 5 cigaret\u0113m. Ne\u013c\u0101va man pa\u0161ai savas cigaretes nop\u012bp\u0113t. B\u016btu zin\u0101jusi, ka at\u0146ems, b\u016btu vismaz t\u0101s devi\u0146as cigaretes salauzusi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pabeigu\u0161i krat\u012b\u0161anu darbaviet\u0101, to turpin\u0101t mani veda uz m\u0101j\u0101m. Tur piedal\u012bj\u0101s tie pa\u0161i VDK v\u012bri – Krasnovs, Trautmanis un Ziedi\u0146\u0161, bet pieaicin\u0101tie bija samekl\u0113ti citi. Tie bija: Tuncova E. M., Budrimenko K. I. un, kur gad\u012bjies, kur ne, m\u016bsu 15. namu p\u0101rvaldes tehni\u0137is Timo\u0161enko I. M. Tas bija tas pats pajaunais v\u012brietis, kur\u0161 atkl\u0101ja, kur es dz\u012bvoju, un p\u0101r savu atkl\u0101jumu pazi\u0146oja t\u0101l\u0101k. Cent\u012bgs darbonis! Tagad st\u0101v\u0101 saj\u016bsm\u0101 noskat\u0101s, k\u0101 \u010dekisti vanda manu mant\u012bbu, bet teikt neko nedr\u012bkst\u0113ju.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Krat\u012b\u0161anas s\u0101kum\u0101 man teica, lai es labpr\u0101t\u012bgi atdodu val\u016btu un pretpadomju literat\u016bru. Atbild\u0113ju, ka man nav ne val\u016btas, ne pretpadomju literat\u016bras. T\u0101l\u0101k krat\u012b\u0161anas protokol\u0101 ierakst\u012bts: Celmi\u0146a labpr\u0101t\u012bgi atdeva:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. \u0100rzem\u0113s ra\u017eotas ska\u0146uplates -19 gab.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Magnetofona lente 190 metru (v\u0101cu ra\u017eojums).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Cigaretes (2 paci\u0146as “Pall Mall”).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Ko\u0161\u013c\u0101jam\u0101 gumija (10 gab. ar eti\u0137eti P.K.”).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. Neilona ze\u0137es, \u0101rzemju celof\u0101na iesai\u0146ojum\u0101. 3 p\u0101ri.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

6. Pudel\u012bte fran\u010du odekolona “Violette”.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

7. Sp\u0113\u013cu k\u0101r\u0161u komplekts, Zviedrij\u0101 ra\u017eots.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

8. Lod\u012b\u0161u Pildspalva “Kuizer”.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tie ir salti meli, neko vi\u0146iem neatdevu. Vi\u0146i pa\u0161i \u0146\u0113ma, pierakst\u012bja un b\u0101za mais\u0101. Vis\u0101 m\u016b\u017e\u0101 sakr\u0101t\u0101s fotogr\u0101fijas un manas fotogr\u0101fijas, s\u0101kot no 8 m\u0113ne\u0161u vecuma. Es saprotu, ka var patikt Glena Millera m\u016bzika un Elvisa Preslija dziesmas, bet krat\u012b\u0161anas pav\u0113l\u0113 nebija paredz\u0113ta ska\u0146upla\u0161u, smar\u017eu, ze\u0137u atsavin\u0101\u0161ana. Fran\u010du odekolona bija tikai puspudel\u012bte. T\u0101 visa krat\u012b\u0161ana p\u0101rv\u0113rt\u0101s par atkl\u0101tu laup\u012b\u0161anu, p\u0113c principa – ja nav p\u012bles ko \u0161aut, tad no\u0161auj brie\u017eus, lai neb\u016btu tuk\u0161\u0101 j\u0101paliek.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vec\u0101kajam leitnantam Krasnovam \u013coti iepatik\u0101s balta atlasa rokassomi\u0146a, iz\u0161\u016bta ar zelta pu\u0137\u0113m, vi\u0146\u0161 to jau sagr\u0101ba, lai b\u0101ztu mais\u0101, bet majors Ziedi\u0146\u0161 nobremz\u0113ja, teikdams: “To n\u0113.” Redz\u0113dama, k\u0101 tieku aplaup\u012bta, izjutu lielu apmierin\u0101jumu, ka vi\u0146i netiek kl\u0101t Policera kunga ats\u016bt\u012btajam ka\u017eokam, da\u017e\u0101m lab\u0101k\u0101m kleit\u0101m un nesen komisijas veikal\u0101 nopirktajam sarkanajam m\u0113telim, jo t\u0101s dr\u0113bes glab\u0101j\u0101s m\u0101s\u012bcas dz\u012bvokl\u012b, cit\u0101di viss b\u016btu at\u0146emts. Man jau bija uzkr\u0101jusies pieredze no iepriek\u0161\u0113j\u0101m krat\u012b\u0161an\u0101m, ka, neatrodot mekl\u0113to, \u0146em un gr\u0101bj, ko var. Epizodi ar \u0161okol\u0101di nem\u016b\u017eam neaizmirs\u012b\u0161u. Vandoties pa man\u0101m mant\u0101m, Ritas Platonovas dz\u012bvokl\u012b atrada divas t\u0101fel\u012btes veselas, vienu pusap\u0113stu ang\u013cu \u0161okol\u0101di un bez kautr\u0113\u0161an\u0101s visu piev\u0101ca, pus\u0113sto ar\u012b. Es iep\u012bkst\u0113jos, ka \u0161okol\u0101de nav ne val\u016bta, ne literat\u016bra. Tad man VDK v\u012brs vis\u0101 nopietn\u012bb\u0101 paskaidroja to, ko es v\u0113l nekad nebiju dzird\u0113jusi: ‘\u0160o \u0161okol\u0101di ang\u013ci ir ies\u016bt\u012bju\u0161i ar nol\u016bku, lai noind\u0113tu mierm\u012bl\u012bgos padomju iedz\u012bvot\u0101jus. T\u0101 ir saind\u0113ta. M\u0113s vi\u0146u pa\u0146emam, lai speci\u0101las komisijas kl\u0101tb\u016btn\u0113 sast\u0101d\u012btu aktu un \u0161okol\u0101di izn\u012bcin\u0101tu.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Vai j\u016bs gad\u012bjum\u0101 neslimojat ar paranoju?” es piekl\u0101j\u012bgi apvaic\u0101jos.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Atbildi nesa\u0146\u0113mu, bet p\u0101rliecin\u0101jos, ka VDK kantor\u012b str\u0101d\u0101 daudz v\u0101jpr\u0101t\u012bgo ar nopietn\u0101m psihisk\u0101m novirz\u0113m. Iesp\u0113jams, ka tas pan\u0101kts ar p\u0101rm\u0113r\u012bb\u0101m smadze\u0146u skalo\u0161anas proces\u0101. Toreiz Platonovu dz\u012bvokl\u012b man at\u0146\u0113ma ar\u012b pudeli viskija, kuru biju taup\u012bjusi vair\u0101k nek\u0101 divus gadus k\u0101dam sevi\u0161\u0137am gad\u012bjumam. T\u0101 ar\u012b esot saind\u0113ta, to izlie\u0161ot kanaliz\u0101cij\u0101…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To man bija atst\u0101jis Eriksons, kad brauca prom. Vi\u0146\u0161 gan smietos, ja uzzin\u0101tu, ka viskijs saind\u0113ts. Un es lai ticu, ka to lies kanaliz\u0101cij\u0101, k\u0101d\u0113\u013c tad nel\u0113ja man\u0101 kl\u0101tb\u016btn\u0113?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pabeigu\u0161i atkl\u0101to laup\u012b\u0161anu patrepes kambar\u012b, \u010dekisti pazi\u0146oja, ka tieku apcietin\u0101ta. Lai pa\u0146emot visu, kas nepiecie\u0161ams cietum\u0101: “\u0136emmi, zobu suku, ve\u013cu utt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Uz t\u0101d\u0101m dz\u012bves p\u0101rmai\u0146\u0101m nebiju sagatavojusies. Pie krat\u012b\u0161an\u0101m biju jau pieradusi. T\u0101d\u0101 veid\u0101 vi\u0146i laikam dom\u0101ja salauzt manu preto\u0161anos un cer\u0113ja, ka es pado\u0161os verv\u0113\u0161anai. Ja nel\u012bdz\u0113ja ar laipn\u012bbu pied\u0101v\u0101t\u0101 karjera str\u0101d\u0101t \u0101rzem\u0113s (vai, cik vilino\u0161i!), tad varb\u016bt mani nervi uzdos.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kad man par\u0101d\u012bja apcietin\u0101\u0161anas pav\u0113li, sapratu, ka t\u0101 ir atrieb\u012bba, un atcer\u0113jos, k\u0101 pavisam nesen Ziedo\u0146d\u0101rz\u0101 man tika piedraud\u0113ts. Tas var\u0113ja b\u016bt maija pirmaj\u0101 ned\u0113\u013c\u0101. VDK darbinieks, v\u0101rd\u0101 Jurijs, man piezvan\u012bja uz darbu un lika atn\u0101kt uz Ziedo\u0146d\u0101rzu. Jaut\u0101ju, k\u0101d\u0101 sakar\u012bb\u0101, jo zin\u0101ju, ka nekur iejaukta neesmu, vien\u012bgi 3. maij\u0101 biju v\u0113lreiz R\u012bgas dzimtsarakstu noda\u013c\u0101, lai pieteiktu re\u0123istr\u0113t laul\u012bbu ar Anglijas pilsoni Braienu D\u017ensonu, kuram bija uztur\u0113\u0161an\u0101s at\u013cauja. Bet laul\u012bbu nere\u0123istr\u0113ja cita iemesla d\u0113\u013c. \u0160oreiz piepras\u012bja, lai D\u017eonsons atved no savas pils\u0113tas m\u0113ra dokumentu, ka m\u0113ram nav iebildumu, ka vi\u0146a pilsonis st\u0101jas laul\u012bb\u0101 ar pilsoni no Latvijas PSR. \u0160\u0101ds pap\u012brs man b\u016b\u0161ot nepiecie\u0161ams, ja es grib\u0113\u0161ot iebraukt Anglij\u0101. Teicu, ka tad man v\u012brs s\u016bt\u012bs izsaukumu un visu, ko v\u0113l vajadz\u0113s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mu\u013c\u0137\u012bbas! Nekur m\u0113ra at\u013cauja, st\u0101joties laul\u012bb\u0101, netiek pras\u012bta. D\u017eonsons bija jauns cilv\u0113ks ar ener\u0123isku raksturu un sol\u012bja, ka p\u0113c m\u0113ne\u0161a b\u016b\u0161ot kl\u0101t ar visiem pap\u012briem, un ne tikai no m\u0113ra, bet ar\u012b no premjera atved\u012b\u0161ot ar visiem z\u012bmogiem un parakstiem. Ja nu vi\u0146\u0161 tagad patie\u0161\u0101m ierodas ar visiem pap\u012briem, tad var laul\u0101ties, ar ko grib, tikai ne ar mani, jo no \u010dekas pagrabiem izlaul\u0101t \u0101r\u0101 vi\u0146\u0161 mani gan nevar\u0113tu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

T\u0101tad g\u0101ju tikties ar Juriju. Jurijs pret sevi iedvesa man\u012b \u0161ausm\u012bgu nepatiku un antip\u0101tijas. Neliela auguma, drukns, nesimp\u0101tisku seju un atpaka\u013c atsuk\u0101tiem blondiem matiem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ar vi\u0146u tiekoties, jutu tie\u0161i to pa\u0161u, ko j\u016bt, me\u017e\u0101 ieraugot \u0161\u0146\u0101co\u0161u odzi. Par laimi, \u0161\u012b bija tikai otr\u0101 tik\u0161an\u0101s reize. Jurijs ar mani pa telefonu nek\u0101d\u0101s sarun\u0101s neielaid\u0101s. Neiet ar\u012b nevar\u0113ju, jo zin\u0101ju, ka visi vi\u0146i ir uz mani nikni. Nevar\u0113dami mani piejauc\u0113t, grib uzlikt iemauktus. Un galu gal\u0101 neesmu nek\u0101ds robots, \u0161ad tad uzn\u0101k bai\u013cu saj\u016bta.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bez gara ievada Jurijs man pateica to, ko es jau sen zin\u0101ju: “vi\u0146i” neesot ar mani apmierin\u0101ti. Es atbild\u0113ju, ka es to visu zinu, bet ka sevi p\u0101rveidot nevaru, k\u0101da esmu, t\u0101dai man j\u0101 paliek. Man esot beidzot j\u0101saprot, bet es negribot un negribot saprast, ka vi\u0146i visu laiku esot nop\u016bl\u0113ju\u0161ies, lai man labu dar\u012btu, lai pal\u012bdz\u0113tu tikt dz\u012bv\u0113 uz priek\u0161u. Un nu esot pien\u0101kusi p\u0113d\u0113j\u0101 reize – teikt j\u0101 vai n\u0113. Lai es padom\u0101jot nopietni. Man visi gr\u0113ki tik\u0161ot piedoti un aizmirsti, ja es aizie\u0161ot vi\u0146u uzdevum\u0101 pie k\u0101diem latvie\u0161u cilv\u0113kiem vai \u0123imenes…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Es t\u0101l\u0101k ne\u013c\u0101vu vi\u0146am run\u0101t, sac\u012bdama, ka gr\u0113kus var piedot tikai Dievs un lai vi\u0146\u0161 nek\u0101dus cilv\u0113kus nepiemin, jo negribu pat dzird\u0113t. Izteicu apbr\u012bnu par vi\u0146u neatlaid\u012bbu, jo, p\u0113c man\u0101m dom\u0101m, vi\u0146iem jau sen tas bija j\u0101saprot, ka no manas puses sadarb\u012bba nekad neb\u016bs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“To j\u016bs r\u016bgti no\u017e\u0113losiet” Jurijs pateica t\u0101d\u0101 ton\u012b, lai es atcer\u0113tos. J\u0101, tie bija draudi: Ejot uz m\u0101ju, man \u0161ie v\u0101rdi visu ce\u013cu skan\u0113ja aus\u012bs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vienu es tom\u0113r izskaidrot nevar\u0113ju. Ja neko nepan\u0101ca ar glaimiem un laipn\u012bbu, vai tad var\u0113ja cer\u0113t uz pan\u0101kumiem p\u0113c brut\u0101l\u0101m krat\u012b\u0161an\u0101m un sarieb\u0161anas? Absurds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bet par draudiem es \u0101tri aizmirsu, jo \u013coti p\u0101rdz\u012bvoju izlik\u0161anu no patrepes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Draudus atcer\u0113jos tikai tad, kad posos ce\u013cam uz VDK izolatoru. T\u0101 pati pel\u0113k\u0101 Volga, ar kuru mani vad\u0101ja no r\u012bta uz darbavietu un atpaka\u013c, tagad veda uz St\u016bra m\u0101ju.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

ST\u016aRA M\u0100J\u0100<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Iepriek\u0161\u0113j\u0101s izmekl\u0113\u0161anas izolator\u0101 man at\u0146\u0113ma p\u0113d\u0113jo, kas v\u0113l pieder\u0113ja: pulksteni, gredzenus, auskarus, vien\u012bgi zelta \u0137\u0113d\u012bti ar krusti\u0146u nebija paman\u012bju\u0161i. Pirmo nakti v\u0113l biju vecm\u0101mi\u0146as zelta krusti\u0146a \u012bpa\u0161niece, bet agri no r\u012bta ierad\u0101s \u010dekistene uniform\u0101 un, iz\u010damd\u012bjusi mani no galvas l\u012bdz k\u0101j\u0101m, pav\u0113l\u0113ja krusti\u0146u no\u0146emt un atdot vi\u0146ai. Atteicos krusti\u0146u no\u0146emt, teicu, ka tas man no vecm\u0101mi\u0146as un nevienam nedo\u0161u. Ne v\u0101rda neteikdama, vi\u0146a mani izveda no kameras un aizveda uz de\u017e\u016brtelpu. Tur man atkal lika krusti\u0146u no\u0146emt. Kad nepaklaus\u012bju, tr\u012bs v\u012bri uniform\u0101s mani tur\u0113ja, jo neganti sp\u0101rd\u012bjos un loc\u012bjos, pie tam v\u0113l \u0161ausm\u012bgi kliedzu, bet \u010dekistene pan\u0101ca savu, krusti\u0146u man no\u0146\u0113ma. Mani kliedzieni bija satracin\u0101ju\u0161i citus ieslodz\u012btos, tie sita ar kr\u016bz\u012bt\u0113m un k\u0101j\u0101m pa kameras durv\u012bm. Elli\u0161\u0137\u012bgs troksnis sac\u0113l\u0101s, t\u0101d\u0101 veid\u0101 es pieteicu savu iera\u0161anos.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mani tur\u0113ja \u0101rk\u0101rt\u012bgi \u0161aur\u0101 vieninieka kamer\u0101 – k\u0101du pusmetru gar\u0101k\u0101 par gu\u013camo l\u0101vu. Tum\u0161i pel\u0113kas, ar e\u013c\u013cas kr\u0101su kr\u0101sotas sienas, melna asfalta gr\u012bda, mazs lodzi\u0146\u0161 pie pa\u0161iem griestiem. T\u0101 mani notur\u0113ja divus m\u0113ne\u0161us, lai labi var\u0113tu p\u0101rdom\u0101t dz\u012bvi, pat uz pratin\u0101\u0161an\u0101m nesauca. Un tie\u0161i t\u0101d\u0113\u013c, ka nesauca, iedom\u0101jos, ka varb\u016bt nekad nesauks, varb\u016bt mani ievietoja kr\u0101ti\u0146\u0101 ar nol\u016bku salauzt manu pretest\u012bbu, bet varb\u016bt v\u0113l k\u0101di citi nol\u016bki, piem\u0113ram, grib mani izol\u0113t, lai es nevar\u0113tu satikties ar k\u0101diem \u0101rzemniekiem, kuri vasar\u0101 uzturas R\u012bg\u0101. P\u0113d\u012bgi s\u0101ku ap\u0161aub\u012bt visas varb\u016bt\u012bbas, k\u0101das pati biju safantaz\u0113jusi, un s\u0101ku p\u0101rcil\u0101t atmi\u0146as. Bija j\u0101gatavojas vis\u013caun\u0101kajam. Atcer\u0113jos da\u017e\u0101das epizodes un pie sevis kalkul\u0113ju, ko \u010deka zina, ko nezina, visu ar\u012b vi\u0146i nevar zin\u0101t. Par v\u0113stul\u0113m, kuras nav s\u016bt\u012btas pa pastu, vi\u0146i zin\u0101ja tikai Ventspils gad\u012bjumu, pret\u0113j\u0101 gad\u012bjum\u0101 b\u016btu ko teiku\u0161i. Kopum\u0101 uz da\u017e\u0101d\u0101m pasaules mal\u0101m biju nog\u0101d\u0101jusi ap simts v\u0113stu\u013cu, un tikai puse no t\u0101m bija manas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Par ang\u013cu diplom\u0101tiem nezina, jo ar tiem tikos Maskav\u0101. Par Amerikas diplom\u0101tu ar\u012b nezina. Nu, par tiem amerik\u0101\u0146u studentiem, kuri intens\u012bvi v\u0101ca materi\u0101lus par ekonomisko un politisko dz\u012bves l\u012bmeni tepat R\u012bg\u0101, diezin vai \u010dekisti nojau\u0161, ka es ar tiem ar\u012b biju tikusies. Es zin\u0101ju, ka vi\u0146i katru vakaru pieraksta “dienas gr\u0101mat\u0101” visu dien\u0101 dzird\u0113to un redz\u0113to, es vi\u0146u vec\u0101kajam- Eduardam piekodin\u0101ju nek\u0101d\u0101 gad\u012bjum\u0101 piez\u012bmes neatst\u0101t viesn\u012bc\u0101. Un, ja ar\u012b \u010dekisti zin\u0101tu, ka man studenti paz\u012bstami, kas tur liels, pui\u0161i ar \u0123it\u0101r\u0101m g\u0101ja parkos, smuki dzied\u0101ja, kad salas\u012bj\u0101s zi\u0146k\u0101r\u012bgi klaus\u012bt\u0101ji, pui\u0161i pajaut\u0101ja, kur\u0161 no kl\u0101teso\u0161iem run\u0101 angliski, tad parun\u0101ja, \u0161o to pajaut\u0101ja. Maz bija t\u0101du, kas zin\u0101ja ang\u013cu valodu t\u0101d\u0101 l\u012bmen\u012b, lai visu saprastu, ko amerik\u0101\u0146u studenti jaut\u0101. T\u0101d\u0113\u013c, satiku\u0161i mani, vi\u0146i v\u0113l\u0113j\u0101s v\u0113lreiz tikties, lai var\u0113tu nopietn\u0101k parun\u0101t. Bet par somu \u017eurn\u0101listu Larsu Lindholmu noteikti zin\u0101ja.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lindholms p\u0101rst\u0101v\u0113ja Helsinku laikrakstu Sanomat P\u014div\u014dn un man katru tre\u0161dienas vakaru ap septi\u0146iem zvan\u012bja no Helsinkiem uz Platonovu dz\u012bvokli – toreiz, kad es tur dz\u012bvoju. Bet tur nebija, nek\u0101 t\u0101da, kas \u010deku b\u016btu var\u0113jis interes\u0113t. Lai ar\u012b sarunas ieilga no pusstundas l\u012bdz pat stundai, iz\u0146emot kv\u0113lus m\u012blest\u012bbas aplecin\u0101jumus no soma puses, tur nek\u0101 interesanta nebija. Traks soms, bet bag\u0101ts jau var dar\u012bt, k\u0101 grib, tikai \u017e\u0113l, ka vi\u0146\u0161 nepavisam nebija man\u0101 gaum\u0113. Ja es b\u016btu izr\u0101d\u012bjusi maz\u0101ko iniciat\u012bvu, tas gan b\u016btu p\u0101rvar\u0113jis neskait\u0101mos \u0161\u0137\u0113r\u0161\u013cus, lai beigu beig\u0101s salaul\u0101tos un dab\u016btu mani uz Somiju. Katru tre\u0161dienu vi\u0146\u0161 man jaut\u0101ja, kad es do\u0161u j\u0101 v\u0101rdu un tad vi\u0146\u0161 t\u016bli\u0146 ierad\u012bsies. S\u0113\u017eot vieninieka kamer\u0101 un visu to atmi\u0146\u0101 p\u0101rcil\u0101jot, bija pat j\u0101smaida. Bet tas, kur\u0161 mani visu laiku pa acti\u0146u nov\u0113roja, laikam nodom\u0101ja, ka esmu no vientul\u012bbas jau mazliet no pr\u0101ta noj\u016bgusies. Vienreiz t\u012b\u0161\u0101m s\u0101ku ska\u013ci smieties, jo biju zi\u0146k\u0101r\u012bga, kas notiks. Pav\u0113ris baro\u0161anas durti\u0146as, vi\u0146\u0161 bargi mani nor\u0101ja un piedraud\u0113ja ar karceri.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Bet vai tad \u0161is nav karceris?” nopras\u012bju. Atbilde izpalika.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Laikam Somij\u0101 neviena negrib\u0113ja ar Lindholmu prec\u0113ties, t\u0101d\u0113\u013c vi\u0146\u0161 tik izmis\u012bgi p\u016bl\u0113j\u0101s mani pierun\u0101t. St\u0101st\u012bja par savu bag\u0101t\u012bbu, par se\u0161st\u0101vu namu Helsinkos, bet velt\u012bgi. Vi\u0146am bija tikai divdesmit devi\u0146i gadi. K\u0101dreiz bijis Somijas hokeja zvaigzne, bet tad p\u0101rtraucis, s\u0101cis negaus\u012bgi dzert un \u0161ausm\u012bgi aptaukojies. Nu kurai t\u0101ds var patikt! \u017d\u0113l. Labs, sirsn\u012bgs puisis bija. Negrib\u0113ju b\u016bt tik negod\u012bga, lai, izmantojot otra cilv\u0113ka j\u016btas sav\u0101s interes\u0113s, ar vi\u0146u apprec\u0113tos un p\u0113c tam pamestu. No mor\u0101l\u0101 viedok\u013ca biju r\u012bkojusies pareizi un, pat s\u0113d\u0113dama m\u016bra kr\u0101ti\u0146\u0101, neko neno\u017e\u0113loju. No visas sirds no\u017e\u0113loju gan to mu\u013c\u0137\u012bbu, ka 1944. gada ruden\u012b neaizbraucu kop\u0101 ar Sudma\u013cu \u0123imeni, kad vi\u0146i man t\u0101du vienreiz\u0113ju izdev\u012bbu pied\u0101v\u0101ja. K\u0101 izr\u0101d\u012bj\u0101s, piecpadsmit gadu vecum\u0101 man v\u0113l nebija pietiekami daudz pr\u0101ta un uz\u0146\u0113m\u012bbas. Es ta\u010du labi zin\u0101ju, ka nevienam nebiju \u012bsti vajadz\u012bga un ka neviens p\u0113c manis neraud\u0101s. Bet tas bija tik sen, un par to vairs nav j\u0101dom\u0101. J\u0101s\u0101k atkal p\u0101rcil\u0101t nesenos notikumus, visos s\u012bkumos analiz\u0113jot, kur pie\u013cauta k\u0101da k\u013c\u016bda. Bet ej nu sazini, vi\u0146iem t\u0101 dom\u0101\u0161ana t\u0101da abstrakta, kas man\u0101 izpratn\u0113 liekas pareizi, tas vi\u0146iem nepareizi un otr\u0101di.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Visgr\u016bt\u0101kais tom\u0113r ir nezi\u0146a. Tie\u0161i t\u0101d\u0113\u013c mani tik ilgt tur\u0113ja nezi\u0146\u0101. Nekur citur pasaul\u0113 t\u0101 nedara, t\u016bli\u0146 pie apcietin\u0101\u0161anas paskaidro, par k\u0101d\u0101m aizdom\u0101m vai noziegumiem persona tiek apcietin\u0101ta. P\u0113d\u012bgi mani s\u0101ka vad\u0101t aug\u0161\u0101 lej\u0101. Biju nodota izmekl\u0113t\u0101ja Trautma\u0146a r\u012bc\u012bb\u0101, un tad s\u0101k\u0101s… Da\u017ei jaut\u0101jumi bija sast\u0101d\u012bti gudri un rafin\u0113ti, turpret\u012b citi piln\u012bgi idiotiski. K\u0101d\u0113\u013c t\u0101das gal\u0113j\u012bbas? Varb\u016bt t\u0101 vajag, lai pratin\u0101mo apmulsin\u0101tu, iet varb\u016bt, lai nokaitin\u0101tu, jo da\u017es dusm\u0101s var pateikt to, ko nedom\u0101.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vismaz pamaz\u0101m man k\u013cuva skaidrs, ko vi\u0146i zina un ko nezina. Izmekl\u0113t\u0101ja uzdevums patais\u012bt mani par visbriesm\u012bg\u0101ko noziedznieci. Man savuk\u0101rt j\u0101p\u016blas sevi aizst\u0101v\u0113t un apdom\u012bgi j\u0101atbild uz \u0101\u0137\u012bgiem jaut\u0101jumiem. Katrs neapdom\u012bgi izteikts v\u0101rds var maks\u0101t gadus. K\u0101 plika pa n\u0101tr\u0113m biju p\u0113d\u0113jos gados k\u016blusies. Negrib\u0113ju iet \u010dekas roz\u0113m kais\u012bto ce\u013cu, izv\u0113l\u0113jos savu – \u0161\u0137emb\u0101m kais\u012bto. Un pat apcietin\u0101jum\u0101 sal\u012bdzin\u0101jum\u0101 ar saviem b\u0113dubr\u0101\u013ciem, es iz\u0146\u0113muma k\u0101rt\u0101 biju izpeln\u012bjusies cietsird\u012bg\u0101ku apie\u0161anos. P\u0113c to laiku noteikumiem katram ieslodz\u012btajam bija ties\u012bbas ar izmekl\u0113t\u0101ja piekri\u0161anu sa\u0146emt vienu p\u0101rtikas pienesumu m\u0113nesi. Man ne\u013c\u0101va sa\u0146emt nevienu pienesumu. Mana m\u0101te bija izstaig\u0101jusi visu R\u012bgu, s\u0101kot ar VDK kantori un Iek\u0161lietu ministriju, beidzot ar Augst\u0101ko padomi, lai dab\u016btu at\u013cauju man nodot da\u017eus citronus un kukul\u012bti baltmaizes. Visur bijusi tikai viena atbilde – lai grie\u017eas pie izmekl\u0113t\u0101ja, bet izmekl\u0113t\u0101js Trautmanis atteic\u0101s dot at\u013cauju pienesumam. Biju kritusi gal\u0113j\u0101 ne\u017e\u0113last\u012bb\u0101, turpret\u012b da\u017eiem tika velt\u012bta \u012bpa\u0161a laipn\u012bba un, pret\u0113ji rakst\u012btiem noteikumiem, at\u013c\u0101va pienesumus katru ned\u0113\u013cu. Te nu vienl\u012bdz\u012bbas sludin\u0101t\u0101ji pamat\u012bgi sevi sakompromit\u0113ja, r\u012bkodamies pret\u0113ji partijas ideolo\u0123ijai. Da\u017e\u0101m apcietin\u0101taj\u0101m izmekl\u0113t\u0101ja kabinet\u0101 at\u013c\u0101va pat satikties ar \u0123imenes locek\u013ciem un ar vi\u0146iem izdzert v\u012bna pudeli. T\u0101dus priekus var\u0113ja baud\u012bt tie, kuri liecin\u0101ja ko vair\u0101k par citiem, ar\u012b par draugiem, pazi\u0146\u0101m, kuri v\u0113l uz br\u012bv\u0101m k\u0101j\u0101m vai atrad\u0101s k\u0101d\u0101 blakus kamer\u0101 un nev\u0113l\u0113j\u0101s ar izmekl\u0113t\u0101jiem run\u0101t tik atkl\u0101ti, k\u0101 vi\u0146i grib\u0113ja.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

K\u0101da visp\u0101r var b\u016bt atkl\u0101ta saruna ar \u010dekistu – tautas b\u012bstam\u0101ko naidnieku? Un k\u0101 var uz\u0137erties uz \u010dekista izmesto mak\u0161\u0137eri, kad vi\u0146\u0161 m\u0113\u0123in\u0101ja man iest\u0101st\u012bt: “J\u016bsu pazi\u0146as gan visu par jums st\u0101sta, k\u0101d\u0113\u013c j\u016bs vi\u0146us t\u0101 saudz\u0113jat?” “Neko nest\u0101sta. P\u0101r\u0101k novecojis un primit\u012bvs pa\u0146\u0113miens”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nesa\u0146\u0113mis nek\u0101du inform\u0101ciju par maniem draugiem un paz\u012bstamiem, Trautmanis p\u0101rg\u0101ja uzbrukum\u0101. Vispirms par v\u0113stu\u013cu s\u016bt\u012b\u0161anu. K\u0101d\u0113\u013c es neesot s\u016bt\u012bjusi v\u0113stules pa pastu?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“T\u0101d\u0113\u013c, k\u0101 tad t\u0101s pie adres\u0101ta reti kad non\u0101k.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Kam j\u016bs esat s\u016bt\u012bjusi v\u0113stules?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Tiem, kuri t\u0101s v\u0113l\u0113j\u0101s sa\u0146emt.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Par ko j\u016bs v\u0113stul\u0113s rakst\u012bj\u0101t?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Par m\u012blest\u012bbu.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Vai visiem rakst\u012bj\u0101t par m\u012blest\u012bbu?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“J\u0101, visiem, man ir pla\u0161a sirds.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Vai ar\u012b Francijas prezidentam de Gollam rakst\u012bj\u0101t par m\u012blest\u012bbu?” “Es Francijas prezidentam nekad neesmu rakst\u012bjusi.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Par \u0161o jaut\u0101jumu jutos nepat\u012bkami p\u0101rsteigta un nev\u0101r\u0113ju vien nobr\u012bn\u012bties, k\u0101 \u010deka par \u0161o v\u0113stuli zin\u0101ja. \u0160o v\u0113stuli rakst\u012bja Francij\u0101 dzimu\u0161ie arm\u0113\u0146i: Apetjans, vi\u0146a m\u0101sa ar v\u012bru, vec\u0101ki. Vesela \u0123imene, kura v\u0113l\u0113j\u0101s izce\u013cot uz dzimto zemi. K\u0101d\u0113\u013c nepal\u012bdz\u0113t arm\u0113\u0146iem, kuri grib atst\u0101t skaistu dz\u012bvokli R\u012bg\u0101, Elizabetes iel\u0101, blakus kino R\u012bga un braukt uz Franciju? Es vi\u0146iem pal\u012bdz\u0113ju, vi\u0146u v\u0113stuli iedevu Kurtam Policeram, un \u013coti dr\u012bz no Francijas pien\u0101ca v\u0113lamie dokumenti, pret kuriem padomju vara neko nevar\u0113ja iebilst, un Apetjans ar visiem radiem un radu b\u0113rniem izce\u013coja. Un man par to bija prieks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Vai j\u016bs zin\u0101t, ka, iejaukdam\u0101s Francijas un Padomju Savien\u012bbas politiskaj\u0101s attiec\u012bb\u0101s, j\u016bs var\u0113j\u0101t t\u0101s saboj\u0101t?” Uz tik stulbu jaut\u0101jumu man nebija nek\u0101 ko atbild\u0113t, t\u0101d\u0113\u013c tikai paskaidroju, ka, p\u0113c man\u0101m dom\u0101m, cilv\u0113kiem ir ties\u012bbas atgriezties zem\u0113, kur vi\u0146i dzimu\u0161i un kuras pavalstnieki biju\u0161i, un ka t\u0101pat dom\u0101jis Francijas prezidents, ja tik \u0101tri devis vi\u0146iem iesp\u0113ju atgriezties. Un vai padomju vald\u012bba dom\u0101ja cit\u0101di? At\u013cauju izce\u013co\u0161anai visiem iedeva bez ierunas. Man par\u0101d\u012bja v\u0113l k\u0101du v\u0113stuli, kuru biju s\u016bt\u012bjusi “caur laipnu roku”, bet no \u0161\u012bs rokas t\u0101 bija non\u0101kusi taisn\u0101 ce\u013c\u0101 \u010dek\u0101. K\u0101 tas bija noticis, man neviens nepaskaidroja. Vien\u012bgais apmierin\u0101jums, ka v\u0113stules rakst\u012bt\u0101ja biju pati un saturs visai nenoz\u012bm\u012bgs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

K\u0101das \u010detras vai piecas reizes ar nelieliem starplaikiem mani pratin\u0101ja par Amerikas Savienoto Valstu milit\u0101r\u0101 ata\u0161eja asistentu Deividu Lengdonu. Kad man par vi\u0146u jaut\u0101ja pirmaj\u0101 reiz\u0113, aiz p\u0101rsteiguma strauji palecos, jo biju sv\u0113t\u0101 p\u0101rliec\u012bb\u0101, ka tas ir mans lielais nosl\u0113pums par kuru neviens nezina. Grib\u0113ju visu noliegt, bet tad atcer\u0113jos, ka biju no Lengdona sa\u0146\u0113musi divas v\u0113stules, vienu no Tbilisi, otru no Maskavas, kur\u0101 vi\u0146\u0161 pazi\u0146oja, ka p\u0113c stundas izlidos uz ASV. J\u0101, t\u0101 bija neapdom\u012bga r\u012bc\u012bba no Deivida puses. Nu ko, ja jau zina, nav ko klus\u0113t, m\u012blest\u012bba \u0161\u0137\u0113r\u0161\u013cus nepaz\u012bst.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

T\u0101 ar\u012b pateicu. Trautmanis mani cent\u0101s p\u0101rliecin\u0101t, ka Deivids esot bijis b\u012bstams spiegs. “Ja jau tik b\u012bstams b\u016btu bijis, tad sen b\u016btu apcietin\u0101ts. Padomju savien\u012bba nav t\u0101 zeme, kur spiegiem \u013cauj br\u012bvi p\u0101rvietoties un v\u0113l bez “ast\u0113m”, par ko man bija izdev\u012bba p\u0101rliecin\u0101ties,” es ar p\u0101r\u0101kuma apzi\u0146u atcirtu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vi\u0146\u0161 palika pie sava – spiegs gan. Es str\u012bd\u0113jos pret\u012b: ja bijis spiegs, tad b\u016btu centies uzzin\u0101t no manis kaut ko vair\u0101k, kas spiegu var\u0113tu interes\u0113t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trautmanis grib\u0113ja izdibin\u0101t, par ko m\u0113s esot run\u0101ju\u0161i tik daudz stundas. Teicu, ka nebija laika daudz run\u0101t, jo bija j\u0101bu\u010dojas. Redz\u0113ju, ka mana atbilde Trautmani nedaudz samulsin\u0101ja, jo kaut ko t\u0101du vi\u0146\u0161 noteikti negaid\u012bja. Un t\u0101d\u0101 pa\u0161\u0101 gar\u0101 norisin\u0101j\u0101s visas atk\u0101rtot\u0101s pratin\u0101\u0161anas par Deividu Lengdonu. Vien\u0101 t\u0101d\u0101 reiz\u0113 es \u0146\u0113mos t\u012b\u0161upr\u0101t j\u016bsmot, cik skaists v\u012brietis vi\u0146\u0161 bija un k\u0101das skaistuma paz\u012bmes es iev\u0113roju, kam\u0113r sau\u013coj\u0101mies j\u016brmal\u0101. Ar to tad ar\u012b bija pielikts punkts. Vair\u0101k man par Lengdonu neko nejaut\u0101ja.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cit\u0101 pratin\u0101\u0161anas reiz\u0113 jaut\u0101jums bija \u0161\u0101ds: k\u0101das zi\u0146as es esot sniegusi Kurtam Policeram, ja vi\u0146\u0161 man s\u016bt\u012bjis tik d\u0101rgu samaksu – ka\u017eoku. Sac\u012bju, ka ka\u017eoks nemaz nav tik d\u0101rgs. Vai es zinot, k\u0101da ir Francijas str\u0101dnieka vid\u0113j\u0101 m\u0113ne\u0161a alga? J\u0101, to es zin\u0101ju. Tad lai sal\u012bdzinot ka\u017eoka cenu ar m\u0113ne?a algu. Man ne pr\u0101t\u0101 nen\u0101ca st\u0101st\u012bt, ka iedevu Policeram naudu ka\u017eokam, tas var\u0113ja man stipri kait\u0113t, t\u0101d\u0113\u013c uz \u0101tru roku sadom\u0101ju atbildi: “Es esmu sieviete lab\u0101kajos gados, vi\u0146\u0161 ir v\u012brietis, k\u0101ds tur br\u012bnums, ja v\u012brietis sievietei d\u0101vina ka\u017eoku. Norm\u0101la par\u0101d\u012bba,” “Bet Kurts Policers ir impotents!” pa\u0161apmierin\u0101ti pasmaid\u012bja Trautmanis.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Varb\u016bt vi\u0146\u0161 to saka cit\u0101m, es to neesmu konstat\u0113jusi,” es t\u012bri lepni pazi\u0146oju.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tom\u0113r \u010deka zina p\u0101r\u0101k daudz par \u0101rzemnieku priv\u0101to dz\u012bvi. \u0160aj\u0101 gad\u012bjum\u0101 par Kurtu Policeru izmekl\u0113t\u0101jam bija taisn\u012bba, bet kas man par da\u013cu, es no sava teikt\u0101 neatk\u0101pos ne par matu, lai vi\u0146\u0161 pier\u0101da, ja var!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pratin\u0101\u0161anas gait\u0101 bija j\u0101konstat\u0113 nepat\u012bkams fakts: mans jaun\u012bbas draugs D\u017eons Vesmanis nebija uzvedies k\u0101 d\u017eentlmenis, bet p\u013c\u0101p\u0101jis k\u0101 veca sieva. Lai ar\u012b vi\u0146a d\u0113\u013c man gadi kl\u0101t nen\u0101ca, tom\u0113r par vi\u0146u biju lab\u0101k\u0101s dom\u0101s. K\u0101 t\u0101 var – nodot draudzeni. Dom\u0101ju, ka pats vi\u0146\u0161 neskr\u0113ja speci\u0101li mani nodot, bet kaut k\u0101d\u0101 draudz\u012bg\u0101 sarun\u0101 ar “kol\u0113\u0123iem” bija par daudz lieka p\u013c\u0101p\u0101jis, varb\u016bt dz\u0113rum\u0101. Gad\u0101s ar\u012b t\u0101. Ja neko nezi\u0146otu, nevar\u0113tu str\u0101d\u0101t Inturist\u0101. Kur\u0161 to nezina? Tagad nedaudz par pa\u0161u pratin\u0101\u0161anas gaitu. S\u0101kum\u0101 bija t\u0101: izmekl\u0113t\u0101js jaut\u0101, es kaut ko atbildu, vi\u0146\u0161 raksta protokol\u0101 jaut\u0101jumu, un atbildes. K\u0101das asto\u0146as vai visas desmit lapas pierakst\u012bjis, nes man izlas\u012b\u0161anai un parakst\u012b\u0161anai. Pa\u0161\u0101 pirmaj\u0101 dien\u0101, kad rakst\u012bja galvenok\u0101rt biogr\u0101fiskos datus, es izlas\u012bju un protokolu parakst\u012bju. Bet tik gludi vairs neg\u0101ja n\u0101kamaj\u0101s reiz\u0113s. Jau lasot atkl\u0101ju nej\u0113dz\u012bbas, konstat\u0113ju, ka manas atbildes pierakst\u012btas gal\u012bgi sagroz\u012bt\u0101 veid\u0101, ne t\u0101, k\u0101 es teicu, bet t\u0101, k\u0101 izmekl\u0113t\u0101jam vajag. Kad man lika parakst\u012bt, es sagr\u0101bu visas lapas un vien\u0101 acumirkl\u012b sapl\u0113su. Var iedom\u0101ties, k\u0101 t\u0101ds izmekl\u0113t\u0101js p\u0113c padar\u012bt\u0101 dienas darba j\u016btas! Es zin\u0101ju, ka ar savu r\u012bc\u012bbu nokaitin\u0101ju Trautmani l\u012bdz baltkv\u0113lei, bet ko man citu bija dar\u012bt! Vienk\u0101r\u0161i neparakst\u012bt nevar\u0113ju, piez\u012bm\u0113s, ka atteicos parakst\u012bt, bet protokols tikpat b\u016bs ties\u0101 uz galda, bet to es pie\u013caut nedr\u012bkst\u0113ju. N\u0101kamaj\u0101 pratin\u0101\u0161anas reiz\u0113 es izr\u012bkojos t\u0101pat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Redz\u0113ju, ka Trautmanis ir sa\u0161utis, viss vi\u0146a darbs v\u0113j\u0101. Beidzot vienoj\u0101mies, ka es pati ar savu roku rakst\u012b\u0161u k\u0101 jaut\u0101jumus, t\u0101 atbildes. Un t\u0101 ar\u012b notika, visa mana aps\u016bdz\u012bba ir pierakst\u012bta ar maniem v\u0101rdiem, ar manu roku. Visp\u0101r b\u016btu god\u012bgi, ja Trautmanis man b\u016btu par tik lielu darbu pusi no savas algas samaks\u0101jis, jo liel\u0101ko darbu dar\u012bju es, vi\u0146\u0161 tikai s\u0113d\u0113ja un sagudroja pret\u012bgus jaut\u0101jumus. Un t\u0101 vair\u0101kus m\u0113ne\u0161us no vietas, pie tam mani neatlaid\u012bgi nom\u0101ca nezi\u0146a, ko \u010deka zina, ko nezina.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

K\u0101 p\u0113rkona sp\u0113riens mani satrieca jaut\u0101jumi par Pj\u0113ru un Martu Landeriem, fran\u010du kompartijas biedriem. “\u0160itie c\u016bkas,” nodom\u0101ju, “atbrauc uz sve\u0161u zemi pavad\u012bt par pusvelti atva\u013cin\u0101jumu Bulduru atp\u016btas m\u0101j\u0101, satiek mani, pied\u0101v\u0101 draudz\u0113ties, jo vi\u0146iem laikam garlaic\u012bgi atp\u016btas m\u0101j\u0101, noklaus\u0101s manus b\u0113du st\u0101stus un cik man gr\u016bti iet, ka nav kur dz\u012bvot, un tad \u0146em un mani nodod.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Noklaus\u012bjusies vi\u0146u liec\u012bbu, p\u0101rtulkotu krievu valod\u0101, sapratu, ka te b\u016bs gr\u016bti izgroz\u012bties, bet m\u0113\u0123in\u0101ts nav zaud\u0113ts. Pirmk\u0101rt past\u0101v\u0113ju uz to, ka tulkojot krievu valod\u0101 teksts ir stipri sagroz\u012bts un pierakst\u012bts tendenciozi. T\u0101 ar\u012b paties\u012bb\u0101 bija. Visu laiku uzsv\u0113rts, cik sa\u0161utu\u0161i vi\u0146i biju\u0161i, ka t\u0101da persona k\u0101 es dz\u012bvo nesod\u012bta. Toreiz run\u0101jot ar prec\u0113to p\u0101ri, nek\u0101das sa\u0161utuma paz\u012bmes neman\u012bju. Visu p\u0101rdom\u0101jot, n\u0101cu pie sl\u0113dziena, ka man n\u0101ktu tikai par labu, ja fran\u010di atbrauktu uz konfront\u0101ciju, lai redz, kur vi\u0146i mani novedu\u0161i, t\u0101d\u0113\u013c piepras\u012bju, lai izsauc abus no Francijas. N\u0113, vi\u0146us nesauk\u0161ot, bet lieciniece b\u016b\u0161ot. Teicu, ka tre\u0161\u0101s personas liec\u012bba nekad neb\u016bs pareiza un objekt\u012bva. Bez tam centos izmekl\u0113t\u0101jam ieskaidrot, ka st\u0101stus par man\u0101m person\u012bg\u0101m neveiksm\u0113m nevar kvalific\u0113t k\u0101 “pretpadomju a\u0123it\u0101ciju un propagandu”, cita lieta, ja es run\u0101tu daudzskaitl\u012b, visas tautas v\u0101rd\u0101 un lielai auditorijai (par ko es klus\u012bb\u0101 sap\u0146oju).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dabiski, ka es tur var\u0113ju izstiepties un sarauties, m\u0113\u0123in\u0101dama pier\u0101d\u012bt savu viedokli, viss izr\u0101d\u012bj\u0101s velt\u012bgi. Pj\u0113ra un Martas liec\u012bbas \u010dekai patr\u0101p\u012bj\u0101s \u012bst\u0101 laik\u0101, lai mani var\u0113tu nodot tiesai, cit\u0101di tr\u016bka materi\u0101lu. Un vi\u0146i to mantoja, jo nevar\u0113ja jau mani nodot tiesai par to vien, ka nev\u0113l\u0113jos sadarboties ar \u010deku. Krimin\u0101laj\u0101 kodeks\u0101 nemaz nav t\u0101da panta “Par atteik\u0161anos sadarboties”. Tas nu par to, ko \u010deka zin\u0101ja, bet bija ar\u012b lietas, ko \u010deka nezin\u0101ja, bet par kur\u0101m man, vieniniek\u0101 s\u0113\u017eot, bija daudz j\u0101dom\u0101 un j\u0101izfantaz\u0113, ko un k\u0101 atbild\u0113t, ja pras\u012bs paskaidrojumus. Velt\u012bgi izr\u0101d\u012bj\u0101s mani p\u016bli\u0146i, par somu karaku\u0123i neko nejaut\u0101ja, t\u0101tad nezin\u0101ja.1961. gada vasar\u0101, braucot J\u016brmalas vilcien\u0101, noklaus\u012bjos sarunu, k\u0101 viens jauns cilv\u0113ks st\u0101st\u012bja otram, ka R\u012bg\u0101 draudz\u012bbas viz\u012bt\u0113 ieradies somu karaku\u0123is. Noenkurojies Daugav\u0101 pie pils.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dom\u0101ju, laika man diezgan, j\u0101iet paskaties. Nol\u0113mu ku\u0123im netuvoties, bet t\u0101pat apst\u0101ties pa gabalu, jo biju p\u0101rliecin\u0101ta, ka \u010dekas modr\u0101 acs \u0161\u0101du ku\u0123i nov\u0113ro no vis\u0101m pus\u0113m. Viss izn\u0101ca cit\u0101di. Non\u0101kusi krastmal\u0101, redzu: st\u0101v ku\u0123is, pietauvojies pie pa\u0161a krasta ar trapu, t\u0101 ka pa to var iet un n\u0101kt. Pie trapa katr\u0101 pus\u0113 pa somu matrozim, laikam sargi. Tie\u0161i pret\u012b ku\u0123im apst\u0101jies autobuss, no kura izk\u0101pa v\u012brie\u0161i un sievietes. Es turpin\u0101ju savu ce\u013cu, lai paietu ku\u0123im gar\u0101m. Viss bars no autobusa dev\u0101s, krieviski sarun\u0101damies, taisna ce\u013c\u0101 uz ku\u0123a trapu, sargiem visi par\u0101d\u012bja kaut k\u0101du dokumentu un nozuda ku\u0123\u012b. Kad es atrados vistuv\u0101k trapam, konstat\u0113ju, ka esmu vair\u0101ku sievie\u0161u vid\u016b (j\u0101dom\u0101, kompartijas deleg\u0101tes). Nu, dom\u0101ju, k\u0101d\u0113\u013c es ar\u012b nevar\u0113tu k\u013c\u016bt par t\u0101du pa\u0161u deleg\u0101ti? Iest\u0101jos rind\u0101. Pien\u0101kot pie trapa, attais\u012bju rokassomi\u0146u, iz\u0146\u0113mu savu darba apliec\u012bbu tum\u0161i sarkanos v\u0101ci\u0146os, no\u017evidzin\u0101ju somu sargam gar ac\u012bm un biju uz ku\u0123a. Bet tad apjuku, jo nezin\u0101ju, ko t\u0101l\u0101k dar\u012bt, jo iesp\u0113jams, ka deleg\u0101ti cits citu pazina, un k\u0101ds var\u0113tu man uzpras\u012bt, kas es esmu. Vi\u0146i visi zosu rind\u0101 virz\u012bj\u0101s pa labi, es pa kreisi. Situ\u0101cija, maigi izsakoties, rieb\u012bga, jo atpaka\u013c skriet ar\u012b neb\u016btu visai pr\u0101t\u012bgi: tad mani noteikti redz\u0113tu ku\u0123a nov\u0113rot\u0101ji. L\u0113n\u0101m, uzman\u012bgi ieklaus\u012bdam\u0101s, vai nedzird\u0113\u0161u krievu valodu, virz\u012bjos uz priek\u0161u. Nekur neviena dz\u012bva cilv\u0113ka neman\u012bju, visi ac\u012bmredzot piedal\u012bj\u0101s viesu uz\u0146em\u0161an\u0101. Sapratu, ka j\u0101sl\u0113pjas, bet ku\u0123\u012btis mazs. Nok\u0101pu pa t\u0101d\u0101m \u0161aur\u0101m trep\u012bt\u0113m lej\u0101, tur pavisam \u0161aurs gaiten\u012btis ar vair\u0101k\u0101m maz\u0101m durti\u0146\u0101m ab\u0101s pus\u0113s. Pie vien\u0101m pieklauv\u0113ju, nek\u0101das atbildes. Pagriezu rokturi, durvis atv\u0113r\u0101s, iek\u0161\u0101 neviena nebija.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ie\u0161maucu maz\u012bti\u0146\u0101 kaj\u012bt\u0113. Tur nu es st\u0101v\u0113ju un br\u012bn\u012bjos, cik praktiski t\u0101d\u0101 maz\u0101 telpi\u0146\u0101 viss iek\u0101rtots div\u0101m person\u0101m, jo vien\u0101 pus\u0113 divst\u0101v\u012bga l\u0101vi\u0146a, vid\u016b mazs galdi\u0146\u0161, otr\u0101 pus\u0113 skapis un plaukti, viss no pel\u0113ka met\u0101la. K\u0101rt\u012bba ide\u0101la, nekur nekas nem\u0113t\u0101j\u0101s, visi kakti t\u012bri.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nu ir \u012bst\u0101 reize, nodom\u0101ju, kaut nu var\u0113tu kur pasl\u0113pties! Vispirms iedom\u0101jos par skapi, bet cik ilgi t\u0101d\u0101 \u0161aur\u0101 dzelzs skap\u012b cilv\u0113ks var iztur\u0113t, varb\u016bt da\u017eas stundas, un tad? B\u016btu vismaz k\u0101rt\u012bga pagulte bijusi, n\u0113, t\u0101das tur visp\u0101r nebija.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Zem apak\u0161\u0113j\u0101s l\u0101vi\u0146as ieb\u016bv\u0113tas atvilktnes, tur var tikai ka\u0137i pasl\u0113pt, ne mani. Aiz liel\u0101m b\u0113d\u0101m par to, ka neredz\u0113ju nevienu piem\u0113rotu sl\u0113ptuvi, aps\u0113dos, lai pr\u0101t\u012bgi apsv\u0113rtu r\u012bc\u012bbas pl\u0101nu. Te p\u0113k\u0161\u0146i pav\u0113r\u0101s durvis un, sprie\u017eot p\u0113c zelta uz\u0161uv\u0113m, k\u0101ds virsnieks, p\u0101rsteigts ar mani sasveicin\u0101j\u0101s un t\u016bli\u0146 aizg\u0101ja. Nesapratu vi\u0146a r\u012bc\u012bbu. K\u0101d\u0113\u013c vi\u0146\u0161 nepainteres\u0113j\u0101s, ko es kaj\u012bt\u0113 mekl\u0113ju? Labi vismaz, ka s\u0113d\u0113ju mier\u012bgi pie galda, it k\u0101 gaid\u012btu k\u0101du. Un nebija ilgi j\u0101gaida. P\u0113c k\u0101das min\u016btes vai div\u0101m tas pats virsnieks atgriez\u0101s kop\u0101 ar otru, kur\u0161 bija \u0161\u012bs kaj\u012btes saimnieks. Vi\u0146\u0161 st\u0101d\u012bj\u0101s priek\u0161\u0101. Es no uztraukuma vi\u0146a v\u0101rdu pat nesadzird\u0113ju, tikai iev\u0113roju, ka man\u0101 priek\u0161\u0101 st\u0101v gara auguma slaids v\u012brietis, linubaltiem matiem, t\u0101d\u0101m pa\u0161\u0101m uzac\u012bm un skropst\u0101m. Gadu vi\u0146am var\u0113ja b\u016bt ap tr\u012bsdesmit pieci, ne vair\u0101k.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u0113c vair\u0101kk\u0101rt\u012bgas atvaino\u0161an\u0101s es vi\u0146am past\u0101st\u012bju, k\u0101d\u0101 veid\u0101 nok\u013cuvu uz ku\u0123a. Ka neesmu ieradusies kop\u0101 ar krievu deleg\u0101ciju, bet pati par sevi, izmantojot gad\u012bjumu. Par\u0101d\u012bju savu darba apliec\u012bbu, kura kr\u0101sas zi\u0146\u0101 daudz tum\u0161\u0101ka par tiem sarkanajiem v\u0101kiem, k\u0101dos bija deleg\u0101tu dokumenti. Redz\u0113dama, ka somu virsnieki nedusmojas, bet ar lielu zi\u0146k\u0101ri man\u012b klaus\u0101s, k\u013cuvu ar katru min\u016bti dro\u0161\u0101ka. Man pat pied\u0101v\u0101ja visda\u017e\u0101d\u0101kos stipros dz\u0113rienus, no kuriem man toreiz v\u0113l nebija nek\u0101da sapra\u0161ana, t\u0101d\u0113\u013c laipni at\u013c\u0101vu sevi uzcien\u0101t ar fran\u010du konjaku. Atkal, k\u0101 parasti, izst\u0101st\u012bju visu par krievu okupantu \u0161ausmu darbiem un pa\u0161\u0101s beig\u0101s pajaut\u0101ju, vai uz ku\u0123a b\u016btu k\u0101ds, ar kuru es var\u0113tu parun\u0101t par b\u0113g\u0161anas iesp\u0113j\u0101m un ka es vislabpr\u0101t\u0101k b\u0113gtu ar \u0161o pa\u0161u ku\u0123i, ja mani taj\u0101 var\u0113tu nosl\u0113pt. Tas ar linubaltajiem matiem pateica, ka tie\u0161i vi\u0146\u0161 par \u0161iem jaut\u0101jumiem atbildot, jo esot politiskais instruktors jeb, k\u0101 krievi sakot, “po\u013citruk”.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0160o v\u0101rdu vi\u0146\u0161 zin\u0101ja krieviski. Ar blondo es sarun\u0101jos zviedriski, bet ar otru – v\u0101ciski. Tad somu “po\u013citruks” man paciet\u012bgi izskaidroja, ka likumi neat\u013cauj uz kara ku\u0123iem b\u0113g\u013cus sl\u0113pt, jo par to vi\u0146u var ties\u0101t. Otrk\u0101rt, pirms izie\u0161anas j\u016br\u0101 krievi ku\u0123i pamat\u012bgi p\u0101rmekl\u0113\u0161ot, un tad mani v\u0113l barg\u0101k ties\u0101tu. Pa\u0161ai negribot, uzzin\u0101jusi visu par likumiem, s\u0101ku raud\u0101t. Centos satur\u0113ties, bet asaras pl\u016bda pa vaigiem straum\u012bt\u0113m. Ak, k\u0101ds kauns! Virsnieki, grib\u0113dami mani iepriecin\u0101t p\u0113c sava pr\u0101ta un sapra\u0161anas, nolika man priek\u0161\u0101 divas viskija pudeles un cigaretes, lai es to visu \u0146emot l\u012bdzi uz m\u0101j\u0101m. Sapratu, ka vi\u0146i v\u0113las \u0101tr\u0101k mani dab\u016bt prom, t\u0101d\u0113\u013c grib uzpirkt ar viskiju, kas pa\u0161iem \u013coti gar\u0161o.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Par pied\u0101v\u0101to viskiju apvainojos l\u012bdz sirds dzi\u013cumiem un raudas uzreiz p\u0101rg\u0101ja. Teicu, ka esmu pateic\u012bga par man velt\u012bto laiku un uzman\u012bbu, bet viskiju lai izdzer pa\u0161i uz manu vesel\u012bbu, jo neesmu n\u0101kusi p\u0113c d\u0101van\u0101m. Es tikai grib\u0113ju no vi\u0146u mutes uzzin\u0101t par b\u0113g\u0161anas iesp\u0113j\u0101m.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

V\u0113l pal\u016bdzu, lai at\u013cauj man atst\u0101t ku\u0123i, kad satums\u012bs, jo gaism\u0101 man ir bailes no viet\u0113jiem varas p\u0101rst\u0101vjiem, kuri var mani nofotograf\u0113t vai pat apcietin\u0101t. To man at\u013c\u0101va un t\u016bli\u0146 lika pav\u0101ram sagatavot vakari\u0146as. Laiku pa laikam ien\u0101ca v\u0113l k\u0101ds virsnieks, kur\u0161 zi\u0146oja, k\u0101 izskat\u0101s krast\u0101. Krievu viesi sen jau bija aizbrauku\u0161i, bet pa krastmalu staig\u0101jot vair\u0101ki v\u012brie\u0161i. Es pati s\u0101ku nervoz\u0113t, pirmk\u0101rt, negrib\u0113ju ilg\u0101k apgr\u016btin\u0101t laipnos somus, otrk\u0101rt, pa\u0161ai ar\u012b j\u0101tiek laic\u012bgi m\u0101j\u0101s. Man rad\u0101s “fiksa” ideja. Pajaut\u0101ju, vai vi\u0146i nevar\u0113tu man aizdot uz piec\u0101m min\u016bt\u0113m vienu j\u016brnieka m\u0113teli un cepuri, un lai k\u0101ds matrozis man atn\u0101k l\u012bdzi, aiz pirm\u0101 st\u016bra es vi\u0146am visu atdotu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0160ie \u013coti nopriec\u0101j\u0101s par manu ideju, iz\u0146\u0113ma no skapja virsnieka m\u0113teli ar vis\u0101m uz\u0161uv\u0113m, iedeva skaistu formas cepuri un abi pirm\u0113jie virsnieki pa\u0161i n\u0101ca mani pavad\u012bt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

L\u012bdz Doma laukumam g\u0101ju vi\u0146iem abiem pa vidu, m\u0113telis man sniedz\u0101s l\u012bdz pa\u0161\u0101m pot\u012bt\u0113m, cepuri biju uzmaukusi dzi\u013ci uz ac\u012bm. Grib\u0113ju turpat atvad\u012bties. N\u0113, vi\u0146iem griboties pastaig\u0101ties pa sauszemi. Ar liel\u0101ko prieku vi\u0146i pavad\u012b\u0161ot mani l\u012bdz stacijai, ja t\u0101 nav p\u0101r\u0101k t\u0101lu. M\u0113teli no\u0123\u0113rbu v\u0113l Vecr\u012bg\u0101, t\u0101pat atdevu cepuri.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Atvadotes pie stacijas, tas, kur\u0161 bija “po\u013citruks” man pateica \u0161\u0101dus d\u012bvainus v\u0101rdus: “Ja tu esi n\u0101kusi pie mums k\u0101 draugs, tad m\u0113s tev sak\u0101m paldies par apciemojumu, bet, ja tu esi ies\u016bt\u012bta pie mums ar uzdevumu, tad ne.” K\u0101 j\u016bs varat iedom\u0101ties, ka es grib\u0113tu jums kait\u0113t?” “T\u0101d\u0113\u013c, ka tu p\u0101rvaldi valodas p\u0101r\u0101k profesion\u0101li,” vi\u0146\u0161 atbild\u0113ja. “L\u016bdzu, ticiet, es n\u0101cu k\u0101 draugs,” pateicu, un m\u0113s \u0161\u0137\u012br\u0101mies k\u0101 draugi. Un neviens putni\u0146\u0161 paka\u013c nenodzied\u0101ja.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Taj\u0101 vasar\u0101 nenodzied\u0101ja, un es priec\u0101jos, ka neviens nezina neko. Viss k\u013cuva cit\u0101di, kad izmekl\u0113\u0161anas laik\u0101 epizodes, uzpeld\u0113ja cita p\u0113c citas. Par Pj\u0113ru un Martu Landeriem ar\u012b neviens man neko nejaut\u0101ja turpat veselu gadu, sak, lai sakr\u0101jas materi\u0101ls. Kad pien\u0101ks laiks, izmantos.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

K\u0101du laici\u0146u mani uz pratin\u0101\u0161an\u0101m nesauca. Man pa\u0161ai lika ar mant\u0101m p\u0101rv\u0101kties uz citu kameru, kur jau bija priek\u0161\u0101 k\u0101da cita ieslodz\u012bt\u0101 – Aina Z. Es \u0161o p\u0101rmai\u0146u iztulkoju p\u0113c sava pr\u0101ta. Dom\u0101ju, ka viss, ko vi\u0146i zin\u0101ja, nu ir apspriests, izsmelts un ieprotokol\u0113ts. Tagad mani saliek kop\u0101 ar k\u0101du, ar ko parun\u0101ties, jo aiz gara laika tak var aizp\u013c\u0101p\u0101ties un aizmirsties un kaut ko nevi\u013cus izlaist no sl\u0113ptajiem apcirk\u0146iem. Lai man neviens nem\u0113\u0123ina iest\u0101st\u012bt, ka izmekl\u0113\u0161anas izolatoru sien\u0101m nav ausu. P\u013c\u0101p\u0101ju vis\u0101dus niekus, apdom\u0101jot katru. teikumu. Aina Z. man past\u0101st\u012bja nedaudz par sevi, par apst\u0101k\u013ciem, k\u0101dos vi\u0146u apcietin\u0101ja, k\u0101 ar\u012b nosauca visu pui\u0161u v\u0101rdus, ar kuriem kop\u0101 vi\u0146u aps\u016bdz\u0113ja un kuri smaka turpat blakus kamer\u0101s. Man visi nosauktie v\u0101rdi bija sve\u0161i, iz\u0146emot Knutu Skujenieku, kuru toreiz v\u0113l person\u012bgi nepazinu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pa to laiku aug\u0161\u0101 kabinetos tika safabric\u0113ta pret mani visai smaga aps\u016bdz\u012bba.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tak jau k\u0101da neredzama roka visu diri\u0123\u0113ja un k\u0101ds kons\u012blijs san\u0101ca kop\u0101, lai nov\u0113rt\u0113tu izmekl\u0113t\u0101ja paveikto, bet, liekot uz just\u012bcijas svariem, izskat\u012bjos nepietiekami smaga.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lai mani padar\u012btu smag\u0101ku, n\u0101ko\u0161aj\u0101 pratin\u0101\u0161an\u0101 man jaut\u0101ja: “Un ko j\u016bs dar\u012bj\u0101t Baltijas j\u016br\u0101?” ” K\u0101 to saprast?” es apmulsusi iesaucos. “Nu t\u0101 – kam un par k\u0101diem slepeniem objektiem j\u016bs dev\u0101t zi\u0146as uz \u0101rzem\u0113m?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Man bija uz m\u0113les jaut\u0101jums: “Vai j\u016bs esat pr\u0101t\u0101 jucis?” Tom\u0113r savald\u012bjos un atbild\u0113ju, ka vien\u012bgo reizi esmu j\u016br\u0101 bijusi tad, kad darba viet\u0101 tika pied\u0101v\u0101tas bi\u013cetes par divdesmit pieciem rub\u013ciem, lai ar pasa\u017eieru ku\u0123i “Gruzija” mazliet pavizin\u0101tos, apmetot nelielu likumu tepat Latvijas \u016bde\u0146os.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Un citas reizes, vai par t\u0101m j\u016bs esat aizmirsusi?” “J\u016bs laikam dom\u0101jat to Bolder\u0101jas jahtu, ar kuru reiz vizin\u0101jos pa Daugavu. T\u0101 tika l\u012bdz Bu\u013c\u013ciem un t\u016bli\u0146 v\u0113tras d\u0113\u013c atgriez\u0101s, jo j\u016br\u0101 iet bija p\u0101r\u0101k b\u012bstami. Aizbrauciet uz Bolder\u0101ju un pajaut\u0101jiet, tur jums visu, kas j\u016bs interes\u0113, past\u0101st\u012bs.” v\u0113l liku, lai pieraksta jahtas nosaukumu. Jaut\u0101jums izsmelts. T\u0101 vismaz es dom\u0101ju. N\u0101ko\u0161aj\u0101 dien\u0101 mani sauca atkal. Tad mani \u0146\u0113ma priek\u0161\u0101 “krustugun\u012bs”. Pratin\u0101\u0161an\u0101 piedal\u012bj\u0101s Trautmanis, v\u0113l viens izmekl\u0113t\u0101js un pats izmekl\u0113\u0161anas da\u013cas priek\u0161nieks V\u012btols, kur\u0161 bija uz\u0146\u0113mies pratin\u0101\u0161anas vad\u012bbu. Nezinu tikai, k\u0101d\u0101 sakar\u012bb\u0101 man tik liels gods tika par\u0101d\u012bts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

V\u012btols s\u0113d\u0113ja uz kr\u0113sla pa amerik\u0101\u0146u modei, vienu k\u0101ju p\u0101rlicis otras celim, lai visi redz, k\u0101das smukas \u0101rzemju ze\u0137es \u0161im k\u0101j\u0101s. Visu laiku, reiz\u0113m k\u0101ju pakustin\u0101dams, vi\u0146\u0161 mani pa to Baltijas j\u016bru vien gremdin\u0101ja, bet nogremd\u0113t neizdev\u0101s. Tad vi\u0146\u0161 saskait\u0101s un ar lielu uzsvaru pazi\u0146oja: “J\u016bs varat atz\u012bties vai neatz\u012bties, mums tas vienalga, jo jums tik un t\u0101 desmit gadi garant\u0113ti.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“\u0100, nu ja t\u0101, tad k\u0101d\u0113\u013c j\u016bs man absurdus jaut\u0101jumus uzdodat?” Lai nu k\u0101, bet \u0161\u0101ds kategorisks pazi\u0146ojums kolos\u0101li saboj\u0101 garast\u0101vokli uz vair\u0101k\u0101m dien\u0101m, ned\u0113\u013c\u0101m, m\u0113ne\u0161iem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u0113d\u012bgi pien\u0101ca diena, kad sauca aug\u0161\u0101 visu pierakst\u012bto izlas\u012bt. Lieta skait\u012bj\u0101s pabeigta. Kas tik tur viss nebija! Tak jau Trautmanis lielu cent\u012bbu bija par\u0101d\u012bjis, lai izpatiktu priek\u0161niec\u012bbai. Vis\u0101di panti par\u0101d\u012bj\u0101s uz lietas v\u0101ka. Taj\u0101s dien\u0101s uzzin\u0101ju, ko v\u0113l neviens nezin\u0101ja: pasaulslaven\u0101 m\u0101kslinieka – grafi\u0137a Sigismunda Vidberga “Erotika” esot pornogr\u0101fija. Reiz krat\u012b\u0161an\u0101 pie manis bija atrasti tr\u012bs Vidberga z\u012bm\u0113jumi un v\u0113l viens, kuru manas draudzenes v\u012brs l\u016bdza palielin\u0101t. T\u0101 par “pornogr\u0101fijas glab\u0101\u0161anu izplat\u012b\u0161anas nol\u016bk\u0101” pants kl\u0101t. Rita Platonova, kad v\u0113l pie vi\u0146as dz\u012bvoju, ilg\u0101ku laiku nelika mani mier\u0101, lai es vi\u0146ai p\u0101rdodot melnbalto, str\u012bpaino jaku, kuru biju jau gadu valk\u0101jusi. Uz Platonovas un citu liec\u012bbu pamata man pants par spekul\u0101ciju kl\u0101t. Ar sirdi un dv\u0113seli to \u013coti smagi p\u0101rdz\u012bvoju, jo spekulantus es organiski ciest nevar\u0113ju.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ar\u012b “draudzene” Eleonora pret mani bija safantaz\u0113jusi pamat\u012bgu aps\u016bdz\u012bbas liec\u012bbu. Kop\u0101 ar savu draugu vi\u0146i bija reiz bija atskr\u0113ju\u0161i: draugam esot \u013coti vajadz\u012bgi dol\u0101ri, lai tak es izpal\u012bdzot. Man nek\u0101du dol\u0101ru nebija, bet atcer\u0113jos par div\u0101m ang\u013cu m\u0101rci\u0146\u0101m. Padom\u0101ju, lai \u0146em, m\u0101j\u0101 tik un t\u0101 b\u012bstami tur\u0113t, lab\u0101k, ka t\u0101da manta prom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

K\u0101 var\u0113ju noprast, tad izmekl\u0113t\u0101jam t\u0101s p\u0101ris m\u0101rci\u0146as izskat\u012bj\u0101s par maz, un vi\u0146\u0161 ac\u012bmredzot iespaidoja Eleonoru, lai vi\u0146a liecina d\u016b\u0161\u012bg\u0101k. Vien\u012bg\u0101 laime, ka Eleonora sav\u0101 liec\u012bb\u0101 bija nor\u0101d\u012bjusi konkr\u0113tu personu – Baltic Merchant ku\u0123a kapteini D\u017eord\u017eu Noksu (George Knoks), ar kuru man esot gadiem ilgas biju\u0161as val\u016btas oper\u0101cijas par pasakain\u0101m summ\u0101m.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trautmanis bija braucis uz \u013be\u0146ingradu, lai tur pa aplinkus ce\u013ciem izvlin\u0101tu no Noksa kunga vai nu val\u016btu, vai k\u0101das zi\u0146as par maniem dar\u012bjumiem, bet atgriez\u0101s bez pozit\u012bviem rezult\u0101tiem un konstatat\u0113ja, ka Eleonora briesm\u012bgi melojusi. Tad man \u0161o epizodi izsv\u012btroja. Ta\u010du val\u016btas daudzums nebija no svara, pantu tik un t\u0101 piekabin\u0101ja.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Efekta d\u0113\u013c ar\u012b spiego\u0161anas pantu pielika. Tom\u0113r vissmag\u0101kais no visiem izr\u0101d\u012bj\u0101s pants “par pretpadomju a\u0123it\u0101ciju un propagandu”. \u0160\u012b panta centr\u0101 – Pj\u0113ra un Martas Landeru zi\u0146ojums, kuru apliecin\u0101ja Int\u016brista gide Goldberga vai Goldmane. V\u0113l n\u0101ca kl\u0101t lietiskie pier\u0101d\u012bjumi -16 \u017eurn\u0101li Reader’s Digest. Interesanta las\u0101mviela da\u017e\u0101d\u0101m gaum\u0113m, izdota ASV un tulkota daudz\u0101s valod\u0101s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

V\u0113l viena jauna, gl\u012bta latviete Smuidra, kuru es vienu vai divas reizes m\u016b\u017e\u0101 biju redz\u0113jusi epizodiski Platonovu dzt\u012bvokl\u012b, nekautr\u0113dam\u0101s safantaz\u0113ja pret mani aps\u016bdz\u012bbas liec\u012bbu uz vair\u0101k\u0101m lap\u0101m. Tur nu bija \u0161auts p\u0101ri vis\u0101m iesp\u0113jam\u0101m noziedz\u012bbas form\u0101m, t\u0101, lai man vismaz piecpadsmit gadi b\u016btu garant\u0113ti, ja ne vair\u0101k… Un \u0161eit j\u0101atz\u012bst \u0101rk\u0101rt\u0113js gad\u012bjums \u010dekas v\u0113stur\u0113! Smuidrai nebijis iesp\u0113jams notic\u0113t, visa liel\u0101 cent\u012bba pa tuk\u0161o. Nabadz\u012bte velti p\u016bl\u0113jusies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CENTR\u0100LCIETUM\u0100<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Jau k\u0101dus divus m\u0113ne\u0161us nebiju ne \u012bsti slima, ne vesela, bet s\u0101pes ku\u0146\u0123a rajon\u0101 mani moc\u012bja katru dienu, t\u0101d\u0113\u013c, tikko lieta bija gal\u012bgi nobeigta, p\u0113c septi\u0146iem gariem m\u0113ne\u0161iem mani aizveda uz centr\u0101lcietumu un tur p\u0113c da\u017e\u0101m ned\u0113\u013c\u0101m ievietoja 4. korpus\u0101, slimn\u012bc\u0101.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rentgens uzr\u0101d\u012bja divus ku\u0146\u0123a j\u0113lumus, vienu lielu, otru maz\u0101ku. Mani ievietoja telp\u0101 ar div\u0101m gult\u0101m. Otru gultu aiz\u0146\u0113ma sieviete ar skaistu uzv\u0101rdu – Laimi\u0146a. Iz\u0146emot uzv\u0101rdu, nek\u0101 cita skaista vi\u0146ai nebija. Jau pirmaj\u0101 dien\u0101 noskaidroju, ka Maiga Laimi\u0146a atrodas apcietin\u0101jum\u0101 jau divus gadus un \u010detrus m\u0113ne\u0161us, noties\u0101ta par kr\u0101p\u0161anu, bijusi sievie\u0161u labo\u0161anas darbu nometn\u0113, tad saslimusi un atvesta uz slimn\u012bcu. Labi zinot cietuma noteikumus – noties\u0101tos ar neties\u0101tiem kop\u0101 nedr\u012bkst tur\u0113t – t\u016bli\u0146 sapratu, ar ko man tagad b\u016bs dar\u012b\u0161ana. Zi\u0146ot\u0101jas cietuma \u017eargon\u0101 sauca par “vist\u0101m per\u0113t\u0101j\u0101m”.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Manas aizdomas jau otr\u0101 dien\u0101 apstiprin\u0101j\u0101s, viss p\u0113c scen\u0101rija. Jau kop\u0161 pirmaj\u0101m pratin\u0101\u0161anas reiz\u0113m, kad izmekl\u0113t\u0101js tik \u013coti cent\u0101s uzzin\u0101t par maniem draugiem un pazi\u0146\u0101m, es zin\u0101ju, ko atbild\u0113t un k\u0101 atbild\u0113t, lai nevienam nek\u0101d\u0101 veid\u0101 nekait\u0113tu. Tagad to, ko nepan\u0101ca r\u016bd\u012bts izmekl\u0113t\u0101js, uztic\u0113ja izvilkt no manis prastam, neizgl\u012btotam sievi\u0161\u0137im. Smiekl\u012bgi!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bet vi\u0146a cent\u0101s \u013coti. Vienas dienas laik\u0101 vi\u0146a noskait\u012bja vair\u0101kus manus draugus, jaut\u0101dama, vai es nepaz\u012bstot to un to. K\u0101da “sagad\u012b\u0161an\u0101s”, ka mums ar Laimi\u0146u tik daudz kop\u012bgu pazi\u0146u!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Te nu es veikli not\u0113loju stulbu zosi, it k\u0101 es nezin\u0101tu, kas vi\u0146ai manu draugu v\u0101rdus un adreses devis. Visp\u0101r j\u0101br\u012bn\u0101s, ar cik primit\u012bviem pa\u0146\u0113mieniem \u010deka str\u0101d\u0101ja v\u0113l se\u0161desmit otraj\u0101 gad\u0101. Sav\u0101 zi\u0146\u0101 t\u0101 bija t\u0101da interesanta rota\u013ca laika \u012bsin\u0101\u0161anai. Katru reizi, kad Laimi\u0146a atgriez\u0101s kamer\u0101 no “\u0101rsta” kabineta vi\u0146a p\u0113k\u0161\u0146i “atcer\u0113j\u0101s” k\u0101du citu v\u0101rdu un uzv\u0101rdu tiem, kurus es vair\u0101k vai maz\u0101k pazinu. Es labpr\u0101t b\u016btu grib\u0113jusi \u0161o br\u012bnum\u0101rstu redz\u0113t, kur\u0161 t\u0101 prot atsvaidzin\u0101t atmi\u0146u. Vienreiz Laimi\u0146a not\u0113loja tik slimu un v\u0101rgu b\u016btni, ka nupat dzis\u012bs \u0101r\u0101, sac\u012bdama, ka es vi\u0146ai gan varot visu uztic\u0113t, jo vi\u0146a dr\u012bz, pavisam dr\u012bz nomir\u0161ot un visus manus nosl\u0113pumus kap\u0101 l\u012bdzi pa\u0146em\u0161ot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u0113c p\u0101ris dien\u0101m vi\u0146a no “\u0101rsta” kabineta atgriez\u0101s ar “pienesumu”, kuru vi\u0146as v\u012brs p\u0113k\u0161\u0146i atcer\u0113jies vi\u0146ai atnest. “Pienesum\u0101” bija tikai cietuma veikal\u0101 pirkt\u0101s preces, neviena s\u012bpoli\u0146a, neviena \u0137iploci\u0146a vai spe\u0137a \u0161\u0137\u0113l\u012btes, ko pieder\u012bgie m\u0113dz atnest, lai uzlabotu cietuma \u0113dienam gar\u0161u.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

V\u0113l \u0101rst\u0113jos slimn\u012bc\u0101, kad mani s\u0101ka vad\u0101t uz Augst\u0101ko tiesu un atpaka\u013c. Un reiz man\u0101 gult\u0101, kam\u0113r biju prom, ievietoja potenci\u0101lu mir\u0113ju p\u0113c smagas oper\u0101cijas. Kad vakar\u0101 ierados, sieva bija v\u0113l mazdrusci\u0146 dz\u012bva. Es sargam jaut\u0101ju: “Sakiet, l\u016bdzu, kur es \u0161onakt gul\u0113\u0161u, mana gulta aiz\u0146emta.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Man atbild\u0113ja, lai es neraiz\u0113joties, gulta b\u016b\u0161ot. T\u0101 ar\u012b notika. Sieva man\u0101 acu priek\u0161\u0101 izdzisa, atn\u0101ca sanit\u0101res, aiznesa. Mana gulta br\u012bva. Pras\u012bju, lai vismaz iedod citus palagus, ko p\u0101rmain\u012bt. Kas tad \u0161iem esat vainas? Aizcirta durvis. Saldu dusu… K\u0101du br\u012bdi nezi\u0146\u0101 s\u0113d\u0113ju uz gr\u012bdas. Atskan\u0113ja br\u012bdin\u0101jums: uz gr\u012bdas nes\u0113d\u0113t, j\u0101iet gul\u0113t gult\u0101 vai man tas pat\u012bk vai nepat\u012bk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pie Augst\u0101k\u0101s tiesas bie\u017ei redz\u0113ju vair\u0101kus draugus, gan no r\u012bta, gan p\u0113cpusdien\u0101. Reiz k\u0101ds pazi\u0146a man meta ziedus. \u017d\u0113l, ziedi nokrita uz pel\u0113k\u0101 asfalta, mani nesasniegu\u0161i. Da\u017ereiz dzird\u0113ju saucienus: “Hel\u0113n, turies, m\u0113s par tevi dom\u0101jam.” Bet astotaj\u0101 mart\u0101 k\u0101ds kareivis, kur\u0161 mani apsarg\u0101ja, pa kluso man iedeva pa\u0161a rakst\u012btu sievie\u0161u dienas apsveikuma kart\u012bti. Sav\u0101di, bet t\u0101di s\u012bkumi, uzman\u012bbas, simp\u0101tiju par\u0101d\u012b\u0161ana liek pasmaid\u012bt jebkur\u0101 situ\u0101cij\u0101.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Daudzreiz, cietuma sien\u0101s raugoties, p\u0101rdom\u0101ju savu likteni, un katru reizi n\u0101cu pie sl\u0113dziena, ka nek\u0101 tra\u0123iska v\u0113l nav sal\u012bdzin\u0101jum\u0101 ar to, ko citi tautie\u0161i piedz\u012bvoja 1941. gad\u0101. K\u0101d\u0101 cita reiz\u0113 atcer\u0113jos Marijas Stjuartes likteni un var\u0113ju sevi mierin\u0101t, jo zin\u0101ju, ka man galva tom\u0113r neb\u016bs j\u0101liek uz blu\u0137a…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bet kur\u0161 gan grib sa\u0146emt desmit gadus, zinot, k\u0101dos apst\u0101k\u013cos padomju cietumniekam j\u0101dz\u012bvo? T\u0101d\u0113\u013c pieliku visas p\u016bles un pati sevi aizst\u0101v\u0113ju, k\u0101 m\u0101c\u0113dama, jo valsts aizst\u0101vis, kuru man uzspieda, mani nev\u0113l\u0113j\u0101s aizst\u0101v\u0113t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Katru nakti p\u0101rdom\u0101ju, ko un k\u0101 lab\u0101k ties\u0101 teikt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Zin\u0101ju, ka nav labi miru\u0161os asinsradus trauc\u0113t, bet nep\u0101rvarama v\u0113l\u0113\u0161an\u0101 iepriek\u0161 uzzin\u0101t, cik man piespriedis, pamudin\u0101ja mani uz t\u0101du gr\u0113ka darbu: izsaukt vecm\u0101mi\u0146as garu. Vakar\u0101, izdar\u012bjusi visu, k\u0101 vajag, nolikos gul\u0113t un, no r\u012bta pamodusies, zin\u0101ju, ka man piespried\u012bs \u010detrus gadus. Vecm\u0101mi\u0146a manu l\u016bgumu uzklaus\u012bja un nakt\u012b man par\u0101d\u012bj\u0101s sapn\u012b. Vi\u0146a no p\u012bta skalu groza iz\u0146\u0113ma un man iedeva rok\u0101 \u010detras \u0161\u0137\u0113les melnas rudzu maizes…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Es tic\u0113ju vi\u0146ai un sav\u0101 tic\u012bb\u0101 nepiev\u012blos: piesprieda tie\u0161i \u010detrus gadus, pamatojoties uz pantu “par pretpadomju a\u0123it\u0101ciju un propagandu”. Spiego\u0161anu neizdev\u0101s pier\u0101d\u012bt, un to pantu izsv\u012btroja.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

L\u012bdz ar sprieduma pasludin\u0101\u0161anu mani p\u0101r\u0146\u0113ma saj\u016bta, ka viens dz\u012bves posms nu ir beidzies. J\u0101gatavojas n\u0101kamajam.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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